Note from Michelle: Ladies, if you’ve been around the blog for a while, you might remember Testimony Tuesday which featured testimonies from my readers. I never wanted Testimony Tuesday to go away, I just stopped receiving testimonies from y’all. Let’s reignite Testimony Tuesday under its new name, By the Word of Their Testimony. See my end note for how to share your story.
Holli Solenberger’s Story:
Priscilla Shirer and Letting Go
Aside from leaving my last church, this ranks a close second to the hardest I’ve had to submit to the Lord’s pruning out of my life.
I first saw Priscilla Shirer in the movie War Room. I was at a former church a few years ago – when War Room was in theatres. The ladies’ small group at that church was going together, and with everything going on, I felt I needed that community, so I went.
What resonated in my heart during that movie – I was not prepared for. You know how a movie changes your perspective, or speaks to a part of your life that is needed? This was my reaction. It was so strong, that it served almost like a catalyst – very similar to when you hear a new song and you love it so much, you want to find more by that same singer? I had to find out more about Priscilla.
I was really surprised to find out she was the daughter of Tony Evans – who (at the time) I thought was Biblical, so that association made me think, “surely she is solid too – she was in a Christian movie – I have to find her teachings!” So, I searched on YouTube, and found more – and that was it for me. She spoke to my heart, she’s a momma of boys like me, she was relatable, funny, and seemed genuine. On so many points, I was an instant fan.
I dove down into finding many of her teachings and watched them back to back. If it spoke to my heart, it got a green light – period. She talked about Jesus, and God, and Christianity, so I thought she was okay.
I NEVER EVER bothered to check out what she was teaching with what the Bible says. Ever.
As I have pled with others to be discerning, I speak from true repentance – because I have never been discerning as God says to be. I chose to accept what people said as truth – without seeing what the Bible says. I loosely and wrongly allowed things people said into my beliefs (the fancy word is theology) without reading what God thought about their beliefs. And I have no excuse. It’s all there in the Bible. But if what somebody said sounded good, I didn’t look in God’s Word.
And to be blunt… looking back… I really believe I didn’t look because I didn’t want to. I felt good and knew – I believe at least subconsciously – if I looked, and was convicted if God says differently, I’d have to let go what made me feel that way. I know I am not the only one to do this. I’ve met thousands of people that – like me – chose to be misled into what the Bible says are myths and fables (which is what it mentions any truth apart from God’s truth).
I really believe I didn’t look because I didn’t want to. I felt good and knew – I believe at least subconsciously – if I looked, and was convicted if God says differently, I’d have to let go what made me feel that way.
I talk a lot about letting go of things and people that were precious to me. I still love many of them. But I know they aren’t good for me, so because God requires in His Word to choose – you can’t have both, you can’t have one foot in things He says are wrong, and the other in things He says are ok – that is SO painful.
SO painful to let go of. To submit to Him. This is what I mean when I talk about living with open palms. It means being willing to let go of anything God says is not okay – even if your heart doesn’t want to.
Well…one day, in the middle of my youngest son’s hardest time (so far) in his little life, I heard Priscilla was going to be speaking at her father’s church – about 30 minutes away from me. I cleared my calendar, got dressed, and went to see her. There was a worship/singing part, followed by her speaking. I was so enthused to see the woman I felt God used in my life in person, I don’t even remember what she talked about.
When she was done, I waited for nearly an hour to speak with her one on one for just a few minutes. She saw me waiting and kept telling me to hold on and hold on, so I did. And when she got to me, I just lost it. I cried and cried – I knew whatever I said had to be to the point, because many others were waiting still. As the tears fell, she started crying too, as I told her, “I want to thank you for God using you in my life! I’ve been through so much and I saw you in War Room and ever since I have watched your teachings and I’m so grateful for you being used by Him in so many ways!” We hugged then, a tight but quick hug, then took a selfie.
Priscilla and Holli
Fast forward to the past few months…God didn’t just lead me to leave my last church! He led me to give up so, so much more – including Priscilla. This has been just as painful. When things speak into our pain, in deep ways – oh my, my, my. That is just heartbreaking to open our clenched fists and submit…to….God.
I only speak about my own convictions, and I share openly – knowing many will be hateful to me, hurtful, talk about me, treat me harshly, because they would rather live with their fists tightly closed. They aren’t ready.
And there is nothing I can do to change that. I am only a vessel. It is God’s sovereignty that chooses if – or when – others are convicted, like I was. I share – knowing the repercussions – for the very few that the Lord will, as He has me in His kindness and mercy, give ears to hear – and a soft heart towards Him and His Word. And hopefully open their palms too.
This is one of many things that God has brought about, that’s about Priscilla – but I submit to you that though there are many God calls us to let go of, for the false things are everywhere, there is but one Standard that we hold everything and everyone up to – God’s Word.
I pray this helps you not only with Priscilla but to see through this example written about, why being a Berean is so important.
Related Links:
Going Beyond Scripture: Why It’s Time to Say Good-Bye to Priscilla Shirer and Going Beyond Ministries
Women and False Teachers: Why Men Don’t Get It, and Why It’s Imperative That They Do (This article explains in greater depth what Holli mentioned about her strong emotions toward Priscilla.)
Ladies, God is still at work in the hearts and lives of His people, including yours! Would you like to share (anonymously, if you like) a testimony of how God saved you, how He has blessed you, convicted you, taught you something from His Word, brought you out from under false doctrine, placed you in a good church or done something otherwise awesome in your life? Drop me an email, and I’ll send you the particulars for sharing your story. Let’s encourage one another with God’s work in our lives!
