You walk into your doctor’s office for your annual check up—flu shot, cancer, cholesterol and blood sugar screening, blood pressure check—you know, routine maintenance on the ol’ bod. You’ve chosen this doctor because you don’t have health insurance and he’s kind enough to lower his prices and work with you on a payment plan. His office is clean and bright, beautifully decorated, and the staff is always friendly. You even get a lollipop at the end of each visit.
But this year, as you’re walking down the hall to exam room four, you happen to notice that in exam room three, there’s a playpen in the corner with an adorable baby girl in it, cooing away and playing with a toy.
“Odd,” you think, since this is not a pediatrician’s office. You continue to your own room, don that scratchy paper gown, and wait for the doctor. By the time he comes in and begins the exam, you can no longer contain your curiosity. Whose baby is it? Why is there even a baby in the office?
“Oh, yes,” the doctor says matter of factly, “that baby was abandoned by her parents. Nobody wants her, so when I get finished with your check up, I’m going to torture her to death and then sell her organs to medical researchers.”
Your jaw hits the floor. Your stomach turns. You can’t believe the monstrous words you’ve just heard.
“How could you do such a horrible thing?” you scream over your revulsion. The doctor looks surprised that you should ask.
“It’s really no big deal,” he says. “We only do a few of those a week. The vast majority of my practice is providing health care and counseling for patients like you.”
Let me ask you something—would you use that doctor and think that the care he provides you mitigates his atrocious behavior? I hope not. Yet I have heard people defend Planned Parenthood (an organization which has been torturing babies to death for decades, and, we recently learned, profits from the sale of their organs) because Planned Parenthood ostensibly performs a minimum number of abortions and mainly provides health services, such as the ones mentioned above, to women who need them. Somehow, in these people’s minds, the health care Planned Parenthood provides makes up for the heinous murders they commit day after day.
Does it really all balance out? Of course not.
In fact, let’s say, Planned Parenthood had only ever tortured fifty babies to death (instead of the millions they’ve actually killed). And let’s say they provided free health care to everyone on the planet, cured cancer, and brought about world peace. Those are some wonderful things, but does it erase the fact that they brutally ended fifty innocent lives? Do all those good deeds make up for even one murder?
No. They don’t. Good deeds can never make up for heinous crimes. Planned Parenthood’s hands are drenched in blood that all the free health care in the world can’t wash away.
They’re hopelessly guilty. Just like we are.
Apart from Christ, we are Planned Parenthood. We come before God with blood on our hands. Not the blood of millions of babies, but the blood of one child. God’s child. Jesus. We are responsible for His death. It was our sin that caused Him to be tortured to death. Our sin that brutally murdered Him.
We come before God with blood on our hands. Not the blood of millions of babies, but the blood of one child. God’s child. Jesus.
“Oh, but it’s no big deal. I’m mainly a good person. The vast majority of my life is spent doing good things and helping people. That totally makes up for those few sins I’ve committed. My good deeds outweigh the bad.”
No. They don’t. Good deeds can never make up for heinous crimes.
But, grace… But, mercy… But the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior intervenes and wipes away the guilt. Washes our hands of Christ’s blood. Cleanses us from all unrighteousness, if we only turn to Him in the repentance and faith that He is gracious enough to give us.
Good deeds can never make up for heinous crimes, but the grace of God can.
But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.
Titus 3:4-7
Good deeds can never make up for heinous crimes, but the grace of God can.
Don’t lift a finger for people who won’t lift a finger for you.
Don’t allow people in your life who don’t deserve to be there.
Hardly a day goes by that I don’t see something like this on Facebook. Clearly, there are people who are violent that we need to stay away from for our own physical safety, and marital problems absolutely must be resolved, but those aren’t what this line of thinking seems to be addressing. It’s talking about the difficult people. We all have them in our lives. You’re probably thinking of some right now.
The constant complainer.
The drama queen.
The narcissist.
The annoyance.
The just plain unlovely.
Maybe it’s a family member, a neighbor, or a co-worker. Somebody who’s in your life for some reason, only you wish she weren’t.
The world’s advice: abort people. If they’re negative, if they don’t further your success, if they drain you, if they’re somehow undeserving of your time and attention. Just cut them out of your life. Abort them.
The world’s advice: abort people. If they’re negative, if they don’t further your success, if they drain you, if they’re somehow undeserving of your time and attention. Just cut them out of your life. Abort them.
Christians are on the front lines of the battle against literal abortion. “Every life is precious,” we say, and that’s as it should be. But somehow, the world’s abortive mentality has crept into our thinking when it comes to the relationships we have with others. Babies are being killed because they’re inconvenient, they’ll hinder someone’s pursuit of success, or they have a disability, and we’re – rightly – grieved and outraged, but do we have any pangs of conscience when it comes to throwing away that inconvenient friend or that personality-handicapped family member? Is every life really precious?
Do we have any pangs of conscience when it comes to throwing away that inconvenient friend or that personality-handicapped family member? Is every life really precious?
We serve a Savior who loved the unlovely. Took time for the inconvenient. Invested in the drains. He felt their loneliness and rejection and knew the pain of being scorned.
Because He was one of them.
he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Isaiah 53:2b-3
Jesus stopped along the roadside, not for those who would further His success, but for those who were needy. He called the awkward and personality impaired “brother.” He called a betrayer, “friend.” Even those who wielded the whip, embedded the thorns, and drove the nails didn’t hear, “Go to hell,” but, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
Yes, there are people who are so difficult that we may have to love them from afar, taking time between each encounter with them to pray, recover, and forgive.
But we must remember who we were called to be.
I love, not because people deserve it, but because He first loved me.
Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.
I occasionally help launch books by Christian authors. I recently signed on to promote a Christian historical fiction book, and I’m supposed to write an Amazon review about it. But I am in a dilemma. At the end of the book, one of the characters is miraculously healed from a gunshot wound and claims he heard god tell him that he [“god”] did it for the main character, who doesn’t believe in god. (Notice I’m not capitalizing “god” because I don’t believe God speaks to us audibly or in dreams.)
When I agreed to promote this book I had no idea this would be in it. Now I am feeling really conflicted. I can’t in good conscience recommend this book but I don’t want to write a negative review on Amazon. Thoughts?
(For readers who may not understand this sister’s dilemma, she is referring to the unbiblical idea of extra-biblical revelation.)
This is a great question, and it’s really awesome that you’re trying to think this through biblically.
What jumps out at me from your comment is that this is bothering your conscience to the point that: a) you’ve used the phrase, “I can’t, in good conscience…” and b) you purposefully didn’t capitalize “God”*. If you think this book is promoting a false god, it’s no wonder it’s bothering your conscience.
* The word “god,” uncapitalized, means “false god” or “idol”.
Romans 14:22b-23 says: Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.
and James 4:17 says: So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.
You should not sin against your conscience by reviewing and promoting this book as though there’s nothing wrong with it, and I think you would agree that option is off the table.
So what are your other options? I’m not sure exactly how this works, so I’m just throwing out a couple of ideas here:
Write an honest review praising the good parts of the book but explaining the biblical problems with the scene you mentioned, and agree to promote the book with that caveat included.
Write the aforementioned honest review but don’t promote the book at all.
Explain the problems with the scene to the author, tell her you’re willing (if you are) to do either of the above, and let her decide what she wants you to do.
Explain the problems to the author and tell her you can’t write a review or promote the book.
Personally, I think one of the first two options would make a greater impact for biblical truth on a larger number of people if you feel you can do it without sinning against your conscience. But you have to decide what’s right for your own walk with the Lord first.
I understand your concern about wanting to keep your word when you agreed to do something, but you have to keep in mind that – whether she realizes it or not – this was an unfair agreement on the author’s part. It’s like buying a car. She sold you a car giving you the impression it worked right and when you got it home you discovered it didn’t have a carburetor or whatever (I don’t know – I’m not good with car stuff). That nullifies your end of the agreement to buy the car.
Use biblical wisdom, pray about it, and don’t sin against your conscience.
I have a statue of Joseph and Mary holding baby Jesus. It’s in a corner year round in my living room. As a former Catholic, I’m questioning myself if I should even have it at all??
As with the reader above, I think the fact that you’re starting to question this is an indication that it’s bothering your conscience. I would point you to the same Scriptures and counsel you not to sin against your conscience as I counseled the reader in the question above.
Some Christians consider any material representation of Christ to be a violation of the second Commandment. Personally, I don’t believe the context or cross-references of the second Commandment support this view. I’ve explained why, here. However, this is an issue you’ll want to study for yourself and be convinced of, one way or the other, by rightly handled, in context Scripture.
But, assuming there’s no second Commandment issue for you, and you’re not worshiping, venerating, or praying to the statue, or using it as some sort of “aid” to help you worship God – all of which all Christians would agree violate the first two Commandments against idolatry – and it’s just sitting there gathering dust in the corner like an umbrella stand or a fern, this is an issue of conscience.
I would suggest praying about it and discussing it with your husband (if you’re married) and then your pastor. You may also want to prayerfully consider…
Why do I still have the statue?
How do I feel about getting rid of it, and why?
What is the proactively good, biblical reason to keep this statue? (You might want to think of it like this: Would you recommend to your best friend that she buy and display a statue like yours? Why or why not?)
If it bothers your conscience and you can’t think of any good, biblical reason to keep it, get rid of it.
And get an umbrella stand or a fern.
Is it against 1 Timothy 2 for a woman to speak, not teach, during a Sunday morning worship service? She is not speaking as to teach or preach or pastor, but simply speaking on a topic to a congregation of men and women about her experiences as the head of a pregnancy resource center on Sanctity of Life Sunday. You say that this is unbiblical?
If she’s just giving a brief, personal testimony as a small part of the worship service, and the pastor will go on to preach his full sermon later in the service, that’s probably OK. (I’ve addressed women giving personal testimonies during the worship service here, #14.)
If her “testimony” is taking the place of the sermon, yes, it’s unbiblical, but not in the way you’re thinking. Someone giving a talk on an informational topic or her personal experiences that takes the place of the sermon is not so much a 1 Timothy 2:12, “women preaching/teaching to men” issue as it is a 2 Timothy 4:1-2 “pastors, preach the Word” issue.
Personal testimonies, speeches on non-biblical topics, panel discussions, interviews, etc. (from anyone, male or female), should not take the place of the preaching of the Word in the worship gathering. Additionally, due to the ignorance of the world and the majority of professing Christians who fail to distinguish between personal testimonies, TED talks, and preaching, a woman giving a personal testimony that takes the place of the sermon appears to most people as though she is preaching the sermon. We’re to avoid even the appearance of evil, so that’s another biblical reason not to do it.
May I make a suggestion? If your church is in need of someone to teach about the wickedness of abortion, contact an abolitionist organization such as Abolitionists Rising or Free the States. Because the abolition movement is church-based, they can put you in touch with a biblically qualified, doctrinally sound man (usually a pastor or elder) to come to your church and preach on the biblical reasons we should fight for the total eradication of abortion. We need to be convicted by Scripture on this issue, not swayed by an emotional response to someone’s subjective personal experiences.
If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.
A question on your post regarding abortion if I may. I am most definitely pro-life. You stated that every attempt should be made to save the life of the mother and child — including in cases of ectopic pregnancies. Can you direct me to articles of the professionals you mentioned who have stated publicly that ectopic pregnancies can be saved?
My first and only pregnancy was both an anembryonic pregnancy and a tubal pregnancy. I was told that I was 5 minutes until death, and that the tubal pregnancy could not be saved. I have wondered about this for many years but cannot find any information regarding a tubal pregnancy that can be saved. Thank you.
My deepest condolences for the loss of your baby. May the Lord continue to comfort you and give you peace.
I’m so sorry, but I think you may have misunderstood that part of the article. Here’s what it says:
“Abortion isnever necessary to save the mother’s life. Numerous OB/GYNs and other medical professionals have stated this publicly. In cases in which the mother’s life and/or health are at stake (including ectopic pregnancies), the biblical and medically ethical approach is to make every attempt to save both the mother and child (which can often be done through early delivery, not abortion). If the child dies during the attempt to save him and his mother, that is a grievous tragedy, but it is not an abortion. Abortion is the intentional, proactive killing of a child.”
The statement, “Numerous OB/GYNs and other medical professionals have stated this publicly,” refers to the previous sentence (“Abortion is never necessary to save the mother’s life.”) and link. In other words, these medical professionals have stated that abortion is never necessary to save the mother’s life, not that babies in ectopic pregnancies can be saved.
With ectopic pregnancies, “the biblical and medically ethical approach is to make every attempt to save both the mother and child…”. As I understand the situation, at this point in medical technology, it is not possible for a doctor, while attempting to save the mother with an ectopic pregnancy, to also save the life of the baby. However, it is my understanding that, through research, an attempt is being made to discover ways to save these precious babies, possibly through re-implantation or other means.
I think you will find the video below to be helpful as well as its companion article:
One of the things Sarah mentions in the video that I found enlightening is that ectopic pregnancies are fairly rare, and that it is rarer still for the ectopic pregnancy to be nurturing a live, normally developing embryo.
She says that in every case she has personally seen in her career, either the baby in the ectopic pregnancy has already died by the time the mother is treated, or the cells in the blastocyst are so aberrant that normal development of a living fetus would be impossible, or both.
Is there a Biblical way to approach Christian friends about the appearance of vanity when they regularly post pictures of themselves on social media?
It is so kind of you to care about your friends’ reputation in the eyes of others.
There is a biblical way to approach them. There is not a way to approach them that comes with a guarantee that they won’t get mad. Those are two different things. In fact, it is likely no matter how gently and kindly you biblically broach the subject, they will get mad. That’s just how people respond to what they perceive to be criticism these days – even professing Christians.
And (assuming that what your friends are doing actually violates Scripture and isn’t just a matter of opinion – which I have no way of knowing) that’s OK. The fact that they get mad doesn’t automatically mean you weren’t being loving or biblical. As Christian women, we’ve been taught by society and by most of the popular evangelical women celebrities that the cardinal, unforgivable sin is hurting someone’s feelings. And that is what’s not biblical. You won’t find a single passage of Scripture that says, “Confront sin … unless it would offend somebody.”
Since the appearance of vanity is a highly subjective and sensitive issue, and one most Christian women aren’t familiar with, I would suggest broaching the subject privately and gently, keeping in mind that there’s always the possibility that you may be misreading the situation:
“Suzy, you know I love you and care for you, and I love looking through the pictures you post on social media. That picture of your dog last week was really cute! I’m just wondering if there’s a reason why you’re posting so many selfies? I know you love the Lord and I wouldn’t want others who see your pictures to get the impression that you’re vain or self-centered, but rather to see the godly young woman I know and love.”
If she’s teachable and willing to discuss the issue, you might wish to work through these Scriptures with her. (For the 1 Timothy 5 passage, I highly recommend listening to the section of our A Word Fitly Spoken podcast episode, Biblical Women’s Ministry, that explains this passage.)
You might also find the podcast series Amy and I did on modesty to be informative. “Modesty” doesn’t just mean refraining from dressing in a sexually provocative way. It also means dressing and conducting yourself in a way that doesn’t make you the center of everyone else’s attention.
Would you be so kind as to help me Biblically on the single/divorced woman. I would like to know if it’s OK to make my own way in life without remarriage. I am very successful in my profession, and content in my walk with the Lord and being single. (Or direct me to one of your articles)
It’s a great question, and one I’m sure a lot of single and single again Christian women wonder about.
There are a few different possibilities of how you might have arrived at the state of being single:
Your husband initiated an unwanted divorce (abandonment)
If you’ve never married, you’re an older widow, you initiated a divorce for a biblical reason, or your husband initiated an unwanted divorce, my general counsel would be to get up every day and serve the Lord faithfully wherever He has planted you – in life, in your church, in your job, and in your relationships. God says being single can be a good thing:
To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.
1 Corinthians 7:8
But never say “never”. There’s no requirement for you to pursue marriage, but don’t tell God “no” if He seems to be leading you toward marriage at some point in the future. Marriage is a good thing, too, especially if you struggle to control yourself sexually:
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband… But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
1 Corinthians 7:2,9
If you’re a younger widow, 1 Timothy 5:14 encourages you to remarry (a godly man, under godly circumstances, of course). In our culture, I think the principles behind this particular passage would also include younger divorcees who either initiated a divorce for a biblical reason or whose husbands initiated an unwanted divorce.
If you initiated a divorce for an unbiblical reason Scripture seems to indicate that you should remain unmarried:
To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
1 Corinthians 7:10-11
If you have not repented for initiating an unbiblical divorce – whether before or after you got saved – you should definitely not remarry, and you need to repent. However, if you have repented, there is some disagreement among reputable Bible scholars as to whether this prohibition on remarriage applies to any divorce you’ve initiated for unbiblical reasons (pre- or post-salvation), or only to post-salvation divorce, since Paul is speaking to Christians in 1 Corinthians 7. If you initiated a divorce for unbiblical reasons, it is imperative that you seek godly counsel from your (doctrinally sound) pastor if you’re considering remarriage.
In fact, in any situation in which marriage or remarriage is being considered, pastoral counsel is a must. And even if you’re contemplating lifelong singlehood, I would encourage you to seek pastoral counsel as well.
Whatever your future holds, while you’re single, steward your singleness to the glory of God.
I read your articles on recommended women to follow but could not find that any of them had a devotional book. I am involved in a ministry at our church and put together goody bags for them. I’d like to give them a devotional book. Do you have any recommendations?
That’s awfully kind of you to make these women feel special and loved. Thank you for serving your church.
May I recommend instead that you give them a lovely copy of “God’s devotional” – the book of Psalms or Proverbs? Here are a few I found (I didn’t vet all of these websites, so I’m not recommending them, just suggesting a few books to consider):
Or if you’d like to go with a copy of the gospel of John, check out these designs from the Pocket Testament League. (I would strongly recommend the ESV versions.) You can even design your own cover!
If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
Sanctity of Life Sunday is this Sunday, January 22.
Do you know the differences between the abolition movement and the pro-life movement? It’s a good thing for all Christians to be informed about.
Watch A Storm Comes Rolling Down the Plain, then listen in to our A Word Fitly Spoken interview with Brett Baggett, one of the key figures in the documentary.
I also thought this interview with Samuel Sey, Nathaniel Jolly, and Ekkie Tepsupornchai on the Truth Be Known podcast was insightful and helpful:
