Michelle Lesley

I recently re-ran my article Five Words of Encouragement for Spiritual Warfare’s Battle-Weary Soldiers, which says of spiritual warfare:

“…when you unapologetically stand for Christ and the truth of His Word, you will not only face a full frontal attack from the world, you’ll also risk being stabbed in the back by those you thought were comrades in arms.

Dealing with and responding to those attacks – that’s what spiritual warfare is. Not this modern, ridiculous, NAR-inspired version of “binding” Satan and bellowing commands into the air as though you have the power and the authority to boss the devil around (Even Michael the archangel wouldn’t go there.). We’re called to be good soldiers of Christ Jesus, not the Commander.

After reading this, one of my Facebook followers had a question about spiritual warfare that I thought others might be wondering about, too. Here are her question and my (edited for The Mailbag) answer to her:

Can we, in Jesus’ name, order the devil out of our house?

Is it OK to rebuke Satan, order him out of your house, or even talk to him at all? No.
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Is it OK to rebuke Satan, order him out of your house, or even talk to him at all? No. That is an unbiblical belief and practice of the heretical New Apostolic Reformation (NAR) movement. No passage of Scripture teaches us to do that, and it is not spiritual warfare as taught by the Bible. Rather, Scripture tells us:

Yet in like manner these people also, relying on their dreams, defile the flesh, reject authority, and blaspheme the glorious ones. But when the archangel Michael, contending with the devil, was disputing about the body of Moses, he did not presume to pronounce a blasphemous judgment, but said, “The Lord rebuke you.” But these people blaspheme all that they do not understand, and they are destroyed by all that they, like unreasoning animals, understand instinctively.
Jude 8-10

And the Lord said to Satan, “The Lord rebuke you, O Satan! The Lord who has chosen Jerusalem rebuke you! Is not this a brand plucked from the fire?”
Zechariah 3:2

For context, it would probably be helpful to give the entire book of Jude a good study, but, simply put, “these people” verses 8 and 10 of Jude mention are basically the same sort of people you’ll find practicing NAR beliefs today. “Relying on their dreams,” rejecting the authority of Scripture, and blaspheming God every time they attribute false doctrine and fake “signs and wonders” to Him. People, who, in their spiritual arrogance, think they have the authority to bind and rebuke Satan, drive him out, etc., along with all the other typical NAR beliefs that go hand in hand with that – supposedly speaking things into existence, performing “miracles,” making “trips to Heaven,” and so on. That’s who verses 8 and 10 are talking about. Verse 9 provides a contrast to them, saying that even Michael, the mightiest archangel who stands in the very presence of God, would not dare to do such things. He left the rebuking of Satan to the Lord. The point of the passage is that, if Michael wouldn’t even rebuke Satan, then we definitely shouldn’t. That’s God’s place, not ours.

If the archangel Michael wouldn’t even rebuke Satan, then we definitely shouldn’t. That’s God’s place, not ours.
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The simplest and best way to approach this issue is to keep all your focus on Christ and let Him deal with whatever you think might be the devil or demons.

If you find yourself in a difficult situation, or feeling tempted to sin, or feeling scared or whatever the case may be, God’s way is not for you to turn your mind to wondering if it’s a Satanic (or demonic) attack or what you should say to him to rebuke him. God’s way is for you to turn your mind completely in the other direction – to Christ. We know this because this is what the entirety of Scripture teaches. Pray and ask God to help you resist temptation, or not to feel scared, or to help you through the difficult situation. Praise Him. “Count your blessings” by thanking Him for all the ways He has blessed you. Worship Him and sing to Him. Memorize Scriptures that comfort and help you, and recite them. That’s what Scripture teaches us, and that’s God’s prescription for any situation you face. The rest of that stuff is just the false, unbiblical teaching of man.

If you’re in a church where Christians are “rebuking Satan” or constantly talking about it, and they’re not being corrected by the pastor and elders, the church you’re in is probably not doctrinally sound. I have never visited or been a member of a doctrinally sound church where this was an issue (unless someone asked about it to correct a friend who believed it or something like that), but I’ve visited plenty of wayward churches where it was an accepted or encouraged practice.

Not sure where your church stands? I would encourage you to go to my Searching for a new church? tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. Begin studying the “What to look for in a church” section, and see if your church matches up. If it does, great! I would suggest making an appointment with your pastor to get some guidance on this issue of rebuking Satan. If it doesn’t, you may need to scroll up on that page to the church search engines and begin looking for a new, doctrinally sound church to join.

Additional Resources:

Do Christians have the authority to rebuke the devil? at Got Questions

The Apostates’ Blasphemy at Grace to You

What Does Paul Say about Spiritual Warfare? at Tabletalk

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Encouragement, Suffering

Throwback Thursday ~ Five Words of Encouragement for Spiritual Warfare’s Battle-Weary Soldiers

August 3, 2023August 3, 2023 Michelle Lesley

Originally published June 28, 2019

Anybody who tells you the Christian life is all lollipops and unicorns is selling something. No reasonable person who is the slightest bit familiar with the New Testament or church history could honestly believe that. The New Testament church was born and baptized in blood – first the blood of Christ, and the blood of His martyred disciples ever since.

Anybody who tells you the Christian life is all lollipops and unicorns is selling something.
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In the spirit, God blesses us with joy unspeakable and full of glory, the peace that passes all understanding, and the comfort of “Lo, I am with you always.” And that is much to be thankful for, because life in the robe of flesh would be unbearable without those blessings.

But as we walk this real, tangible, eat your veggies and brush your teeth phase of existence, Jesus isn’t just a pretty pink purse we pick up along the way to complement our life’s wardrobe. To put on Christ is to volunteer to wear a target on your back. And your front, come to think of it. Because when you unapologetically stand for Christ and the truth of His Word, you will not only face a full frontal attack from the world, you’ll also risk being stabbed in the back by those you thought were comrades in arms.

When you unapologetically stand for Christ and the truth of His Word, you will not only face a full frontal attack from the world, you’ll also risk being stabbed in the back by those you thought were comrades in arms.
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As good soldiers in the Lord’s army (yes sir!) real, biblical spiritual warfare is being protected and prepared in the spirit to righteously and courageously walk out biblical truth on the battlefield of whatever tangible circumstances God has placed you in. It’s understanding that those attacking you are not your real enemy – not the ones calling the shots. They’re soldiers, just like you. They’re either lost and ensnared by the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will (kind of a spiritual Stockholm Syndrome), or it’s friendly fire from someone in your unit who’s saved, but has somehow, momentarily mistaken you for the enemy.

But the wounds of warfare are painful and debilitating no matter who’s wielding the weapon. So for all of you ladies who have been persecuted by the world, attacked by family, abused by fellow church members, and abandoned by friends simply for holding fast to Christ and His Word and refusing to compromise, let these words of encouragement from the very One you cling to salve your soul…

For all of you ladies who have been persecuted simply for holding fast to Christ and His Word and refusing to compromise, let these words of encouragement from the very One you cling to salve your soul…
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1.
Jesus knows how you feel

There will never be a moment when we can cry out to Jesus from the depths of our desperation, “You have no idea what this is like – how badly it hurts!”. Yes, He does. Not just because He’s omniscient. Not just because He knitted you together in your mother’s womb and knows all the secrets of your heart. But because He walked that lonely and painful road Himself, as a man in the flesh, just like you.

He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces, he was despised, and we esteemed him not…
…we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted…
…He was oppressed, and he was afflicted…
…By oppression and judgment he was taken away…
…And they made his grave with the wicked…although he had done no violence, and there was no deceit in his mouth.
From Isaiah 53

But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by mankind and despised by the people. All who see me mock me; they make mouths at me; they wag their heads; “He trusts in the Lord; let him deliver him; let him rescue him, for he delights in him!”
Psalm 22:6-8

Many of them said, “[Jesus] has a demon, and is insane; why listen to him?”
John 10:20

If the world hates you, know that it has hated me [Jesus] before it hated you.
John 15:18

and coming to his hometown [Jesus] taught them in their synagogue, so that they were astonished, and said, “Where did this man get this wisdom and these mighty works?…And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and in his own household.”
Matthew 13:54,57

Jesus knows how you feel, Dear One. He knows.

Jesus knows how you feel, Dear One. He knows.
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2.
Jesus loves you

There may be times when you feel like everyone is against you. It’s hard to be hated. But hold on to this truth and don’t let go of it: Jesus loves you. He delights in you. He will never turn His face away from you.

I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.
Jeremiah 31:3b

All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies.
Psalm 25.10

I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love, because you have seen my affliction; you have known the distress of my soul,
Psalm 31:7

May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ.
2 Thessalonians 3:5

Jesus loves you. He delights in you. He will never turn His face away from you.
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3.
Jesus will sustain you

Jesus isn’t a lifeline that only reaches halfway across the rushing river. He is our rock. Our fortress. Strength. Sustenance. Stability. What He brings you to, He will bring you through, as the old saying goes. He’s not going to abandon you in the middle of your troubles or fail to provide grace and help when you need it. You can trust Him.

you whom I took from the ends of the earth, and called from its farthest corners, saying to you, “You are my servant, I have chosen you and not cast you off”; fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:9-10

Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life.
Psalm 54:4

So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”
Hebrews 13:6

Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.
Psalm 55:22

our Lord Jesus Christ, who will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Corinthians 1:7b-8

Jesus isn’t a lifeline that only reaches halfway across the rushing river. He is our rock. Our fortress.
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4.
Jesus will honor you

In the world’s eyes, voluntarily suffering for the name of Christ is shameful, pitiable, foolish, and worthy of derision. In God’s economy, sharing in Christ’s sufferings is an honor and worthy of reward.

and when they had called in the apostles, they beat them and charged them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go. Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name.
Acts 5:40-41

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
Matthew 5:10-12

[Moses] choosing rather to be mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward.
Hebrews 11:25-26

But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you…Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name.
1 Peter 4:13-14,16

In God’s economy, sharing in Christ’s sufferings is an honor and worthy of reward.
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5.
Jesus will vindicate you

Perhaps one of the greatest comforts in the midst of the battle fatigue of spiritual warfare is God’s omniscience and justice. Not a single insult will be hurled at you that escapes His notice. None of the flak you’ve taken for Him will slip through the cracks and be forgotten. One day, whether here or hereafter, God will set everything right.

Behold, all who are incensed against you shall be put to shame and confounded; those who strive against you shall be as nothing and shall perish. You shall seek those who contend with you, but you shall not find them; those who war against you shall be as nothing at all.
Isaiah 41:11-12

For the Lord will vindicate his people and have compassion on his servants.
Psalm 135:14

You have seen the wrong done to me, O Lord; judge my cause. You have seen all their vengeance, all their plots against me. You have heard their taunts, O Lord, all their plots against me. The lips and thoughts of my assailants are against me all the day long. Behold their sitting and their rising; I am the object of their taunts.

You will repay them, O Lord, according to the work of their hands. You will give them dullness of heart; your curse will be on them. You will pursue them in anger and destroy them from under your heavens, O Lord.
Lamentations 3:59-66

When he opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain for the word of God and for the witness they had borne. They cried out with a loud voice, “O Sovereign Lord, holy and true, how long before you will judge and avenge our blood on those who dwell on the earth?”
Revelation 6:9-10

One day, whether here or hereafter, God *will* set everything right.
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As you suffer for the Name above all names and do battle for His cause, strengthen your hands for combat with His great and precious promises, which can never be broken. Rest in Jesus’ love for you. Know that He understands your pain and anguish. Trust Him to sustain you. Believe that He will honor and vindicate you. For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.

Which promises do you cling to in the midst of spiritual warfare?

Discernment Bible Study

Choose What Is Right: A Study in Discernment- Lesson 11

August 2, 2023August 15, 2023 Michelle Lesley

Previous Lessons: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Responding Biblically to the News that You’re Following a False Teacher

Today’s Scripture passages are embedded in the body of the study. Please click the links in each question.

Questions to Consider

Throughout this study we will be looking at various passages of Scripture rather than working our way through a book of the Bible verse by verse. Because of that, we will need to be extra vigilant to rightly handle these passages in context. I will always attempt to provide the context you need for understanding these passages correctly, but if you need more clarity please feel free to read as much of the surrounding text as you need to – even the whole book, if necessary – in order to properly understand the passage presented.

Someone loves you enough to risk her relationship with you to show you from Scripture that your favorite pastor, author, or evangelical celebrity is a false teacher. How will you respond?

1. Whether or not your favorite author or teacher actually is a false teacher, try to imagine how you would feel if someone told you that person is a false teacher. What would be your initial gut level reaction or emotions?

Consider these passages, keeping in mind your answer to the question above. The Bible often describes the heart as the seat of our “passions” or deep seated emotions. What do these passages tell us about the nature or quality of our heart/passions/emotions? Why should we not be enslaved to our passions? As born again Believers, whose slaves are we? Should we, as Believers, react to any situation – including being told we’re following a false teacher – out of raw, fleshly emotion? How, and with what character traits, do these passages (particularly the last four) describe the way we’re to use our minds to think and respond to life’s circumstances?

Summarize what you learned from these passages into Principle 1 for responding to the news that you’re following a false teacher:

I will respond to the news that I’m following a false teacher by:

2. Study these Scriptures. If someone tells you you’re following a false teacher, should you just blindly believe that person and take her word for it? Be aware that there are biblically demonstrable false teachers, false converts (people who think they’re Christians, but aren’t), and doctrinally unsound “discernment ministries” out there who will tell you, due to their own unbiblical beliefs, that some of today’s most godly, doctrinally sound pastors and teachers are false teachers. How can you know if you’re dealing with someone like that or if it’s a doctrinally sound, discerning Christian warning you against someone who really is a false teacher? What do these passages say to do? How can, for example, a video of a woman preaching to men, or a book or sermon excerpt of someone teaching false doctrine serve as “witnesses” or “evidence” supporting the charge that someone is a false teacher?

Summarize what you learned from these passages into Principle 2 for responding to the news that you’re following a false teacher:

I will respond to the news that I’m following a false teacher by:

3. Examine these passages. Once you have thoroughly searched the Scriptures (rightly handled and in context) and find that the charges your friend has brought against the teacher are true – she really is a false teacher as demonstrated by Scripture – what should you do about continuing to follow and receive teaching from that teacher? What if you find that – according to rightly handled, in context Scripture – the charges are unbiblical, and the teacher you’re following is not a false teacher? Review your answers to questions 1 and 2. How should you respond, point by point, to the allegations that have been made? How did Jesus respond to Satan’s temptations and unbiblical ideas in Matthew 4:1-11 (hint: see 4a, 7a, 10a)? Did Jesus respond with an emotional outburst or personal, subjective opinions?

Summarize what you learned from these passages into Principle 3 for responding to the news that you’re following a false teacher:

I will respond to the news that I’m following a false teacher by:

4. Often, women who follow false teachers feel as though they are in a loving, bonded relationship with those teachers. Examine these Scriptures. What do they teach us about loving Christ compared to loving other people? Does Christ allow us to love those who are most dear to us – our parents and our children – more than we love Him? What does He say about people who do? If we can’t love even our closest family members more than Christ, what do you think He would say about loving your favorite author or teacher more than you love Him? If you don’t love Christ enough to obey Him and stop following your favorite false teacher, what does that say about your love for that teacher versus your love for Christ? How are false teachers a test of our love for and obedience to God? Will you pass the test?

Summarize what you learned from these passages into Principle 4 for responding to the news that you’re following a false teacher:

I will respond to the news that I’m following a false teacher by:

5. Sometimes when someone finds out she has been following a false teacher, she feels betrayed and deeply hurt (as well she should). She wonders how she’ll ever again be able to trust a spiritual authority figure. “If I was duped by this teacher,” she thinks, “what’s to keep me from being duped by the next teacher? I’m not putting myself through that again.” Sadly, at this most vulnerable point, she gives up on church, pastors, and Bible teachers altogether and adopts a “just me and Jesus” perspective.

God’s people as His sheep is a major motif of Scripture. Read these passages. Why do sheep need a good shepherd? How does a shepherd protect and provide for the sheep? How does being in a flock, in the safety of a sheepfold protect a sheep? What happens to a sheep when it strays away from the flock? Does God ever, in these passages or any other you know of, speak as though a sheep being separated from the flock is a good thing?

The majority of the New Testament is about the church. Just off the top of your head (or search for church in a concordance), name 5-6 aspects of church life the New Testament teaches us about. Does the New Testament ever teach us about how to live and grow in Christ as “Lone Ranger Christians” or “just me and Jesus” Christians who are not joined to a local church? Why not? Is it fair to say that God’s perspective, as the Author of the New Testament, is that there is no such thing? If membership in a local church were optional or no big deal to God, why would He have spent so much time and effort establishing it, instructing it, and caring for it?

Why does God command us to be faithful members of a local church? Thinking back to your answers about the sheep, how do the church, and godly, doctrinally sound pastors and elders protect and provide for Christians?

In what ways can a good, doctrinally sound church help someone whom God has delivered from the clutches of false doctrine or a false teacher?

Summarize what you learned from these passages into Principle 5 for responding to the news that you’re following a false teacher:

I will respond to the news that I’m following a false teacher by:

6. Summarize your five principles into a paragraph or two about responding biblically to the news that you’re following a false teacher.

Homework

Read (and listen) more on the passages and topics from today’s lesson:

Words with Friends: How to contend with loved ones at A Word Fitly Spoken

The Mailbag: How should I approach my church leaders about a false teacher they’re introducing? (the same principles apply to approaching a friend about a false teacher she’s following)

Women and False Teachers: Why Men Don’t Get It, and Why It’s Imperative That They Do

Basic Training: 7 Reasons Church is Not Optional and Non-Negotiable for Christians

Do you have a friend or loved one who is following a false teacher? Set aside some focused time in prayer this week to pray for her and for how you might talk to her about it. Consider each of the five principles you wrote in today’s lesson. Is there anything you can do to make it easier for her to respond in those biblical ways?

Suggested Memory Verse

Discernment

Throwback Thursday ~ Of Mega-Blogs and Molotov Cocktails

July 27, 2023July 26, 2023 Michelle Lesley

Originally published January 30, 2014

I Look Down on Young Women With Husbands and Kids, and I’m Not Sorry, screamed the headline. Quite an attention grabber. It certainly grabbed mine. So, of course, I read the article.

It was brash. Extremist. Rude. Rather one dimensional and completely devoid of nuance. And it made me mad, too, since I used to be a young woman with a husband and kids. (“Used to be,” as in, I still have the husband and kids and I’m still a woman, but “young” would be a stretch at this point.)

I was all set to write a blog post in response about the value of wifing, mothering, and working outside the home. You know, whatever God has called you to. So as prep for my article, I read the article again. And again.

And, like a toddler yanking at the hem of my skirt to get my attention, an epiphany pushed and shoved its way into my consciousness.

It wasn’t real.

Or maybe I should say: I suspect it wasn’t 100% sincere.

Have you ever visited a mega-blog like Buzzfeed or Mashable? They churn out tons of cheap content every day, which means lots of hits on their web sites and lots of posts that go viral, which means lots of money from advertisers. (Nothing wrong with that, but it’s usually not terribly deep stuff. Sometimes people want a little mind candy, and that’s OK.)

Guess what? Lots of people want a piece of that pie and it’s easier to copycat than to innovate, so there are lots of other upstarts out there trying to become the next mega-blog. Like Thought Catalog, which published the aforementioned article on young women with husbands and kids.

As they say, there’s no such thing as bad publicity, and in a PR move that would make even Miley Cyrus chartreuse with envy, Thought Catalog threw out a Molotov cocktail of an article, stood back, and watched the crowd gather. Nearly a quarter of a million shares on Facebook. Almost 2000 re-tweets. Over 11,000 comments. From a PR standpoint, there’s pretty much no choice but to admire them.

Is Amy Glass, the author of the article, a real person? Maybe she is, or maybe it’s a pseudonym for someone who works for Thought Catalog as a content writer. If she’s a real person, are these her genuine thoughts and feelings, or did she throw in a hearty dose of hyperbole to push her readers into clicking, tweeting, sharing, pingback-ing, and writing response articles?

I don’t know.

There’s a lot of deception going on out there these days (I’m not saying Thought Catalog is being deceptive. Honestly, I haven’t poked around over there enough to know.) and it’s not just “out there.” It’s inside the walls of the church, as well.

There are plenty of “Buzzfeed” pastors, leaders, and Christian authors who are throwing out cheap content and bombshells…

…2014 is going to be the year God turns everything around for you!
…Just say what you want! If you can say it, you can have it!
…God wants you to achieve all your dreams, so reach for the stars!

The glass breaks, the flames fly, and the crowd gathers. Their churches are overflowing with people. Their books become best sellers. They’re invited to speak at all the big conferences. And when the little guys start copying them and their methods, they know they’ve arrived.

But are they telling you the truth? And if you’re one of their devotees, how do you know whether or not they’re telling you the truth? Do you even want to know, or are you just happy with being entertained or being told what you want to hear?

There’s a way to find out. Get your Bible out and study it. Don’t just give it a surface reading– do the work and dig. Use the brain God gave you and pursue the knowledge of His word. Ask Him to open your eyes to understand the truth of Scripture. Love God with your mind, not just your emotions. Don’t be deceived.

Because they hated knowledge
and did not choose the fear of the Lord,
would have none of my counsel
and despised all my reproof,
therefore they shall eat the fruit of their way,
and have their fill of their own devices.
For the simple are killed by their turning away,
and the complacency of fools destroys them;
but whoever listens to me will dwell secure
and will be at ease, without dread of disaster.
Proverbs 1:29-33

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Keeping a diary… Training women to teach in co-ed classes… Celebrate, much?)

July 25, 2023February 26, 2026 Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.

Is it a good idea to keep a diary in order to vent one’s frustrations and keep thoughts and feelings under lock and key? How might a Christian do it in a Christlike way that is healthy and beneficial?

I really like your second question. As Christians, that’s a question we should all be asking about everything we undertake. Atta girl!

But first we need to back up one step and ask ourselves, “Is this thing I want to do biblical?”. Because you can’t do an unbiblical thing in a Christlike way.

So, is “venting one’s frustrations” biblical? Well, again, as Christians, it’s really important that when we ask a question, we frame it in biblical terms and teachings rather than in contemporary culture’s terms and teachings, so let’s look at how Scripture describes the idea you’re talking about and reframe the issue accordingly.

Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us.
Psalm 62:8

A Prayer of one afflicted, when he is faint and pours out his complaint before the Lord.
Hear my prayer, O Lord; let my cry come to you!
Psalm 102:1

With my voice I cry out to the Lord;
with my voice I plead for mercy to the Lord.
I pour out my complaint before him;
I tell my trouble before him.
Psalm 142:1-2

Did you notice those passages are all from Psalms? What else did you notice those passages have in common? Is the psalmist just venting his frustrations out into the ether, or writing them down for his own sake? No, he’s pouring out his heart to Someone. Someone he believes can help him and do something about the situation. These are prayers. This is the biblical model for offloading what’s bothering you: “take it to the Lord in prayer,” “I must tell Jesus,” and “take your burden to the Lord and leave it there“. Prayer.

When you pray, “cry out to the Lord”, or “pour out your heart/complaint to the Lord,” you’re declaring that you believe:

He exists
He can help you
He is listening to you
He understands the situation, what you think about it, and how you feel about it
He is powerful enough to remedy the situation

I would encourage you to study the Psalms (you may want to start with the three above and any they cross-reference with) and carefully observe the way the psalmist poured out his complaint to the Lord. Take notes on the posture of his heart toward both his complaints and toward God. What is usually the psalmist’s perspective as he concludes the psalm? How do you see him express faith, trust, and hope in God’s goodness, power, and faithfulness? As you study, you might even want to pray these psalms back to God.

Like the psalmist, you’ll want to pour your heart out to God in prayer obediently. That means praying biblically about whatever your complaint or problem is. Your atheist co-worker is making your job difficult? The Bible says to love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Your husband isn’t saved? Pray for his salvation and ask God to help you submit to him. You’re in need of provision? Trust that the Lord already knows what you need and ask Him to provide for you today.

So by this point, you might be thinking, “Yeah, but I asked about writing all this stuff down in a diary. The psalmist obviously wrote down all of his thoughts, so that must be OK, right?”. Well, that’s something else we can learn from the Psalms. How do you know he wrote all these things down? Because you’re reading them. And so have billions of other people for several thousand years. Now, obviously, that’s not going to be the case with your diary, but perhaps you’ve heard the old adage that you should never put in writing anything you wouldn’t want on the front page of the newspaper? That’s good advice. A flimsy little diary lock isn’t going to keep anybody out who wants to get in there, and they are also notorious for malfunctioning. And what about after you die? Your husband and/or children are going to go through your things, and they’re going to read your diary. You certainly don’t want them or anyone else reading things that should remain between you and the Lord. It is for that reason that I would advise against writing down anything you wouldn’t want anyone else to read. Stick to reverently pouring out your complaints to the Lord.

Our church has struggled with having older women leaders and teachers to faithfully train up and disciple younger women. Our elders have decided that they want to train older women to be sound in Scripture so they can teach other women and not rely on DVD’S. However, part of this teaching development is to allow them to teach in our public co-ed adult Bible life classes on Sunday mornings so they can receive feedback from the male leaders and/or elders present in the room on their teaching. Once these women are trained, the plan is to continue to allow them to teach in mixed-gender classes occasionally or when a substitute teacher is needed so they may exercise their gift of teaching. I am convicted that this is violating 1 Timothy 2:12. Is this a biblical method for women to exercise their gift of teaching and to be trained for a woman teacher?

No, it absolutely is not. This is taking a good, biblical goal and sinning in order to accomplish it. It’s like a teenager saying, “I want to be faithful to my spouse when I get married, so the way I’m going to accomplish that is to go out and sleep with everybody I can right now and get it all out of my system.”. It’s almost beyond belief that your pastor and elders are considering such a ridiculous plan of action and that they think it’s biblical! They say they want to teach older women to be “sound in Scripture” while simultaneously violating Scripture.

It doesn’t even make logical sense when the stated reason they want to train these women is to teach women. Why have them teach a co-ed class for training? Why not have them teach a women’s class?

No. I’m sorry, but this is either just really, really dumb, or your pastor and elders are trying to sneak egalitarianism in the back door. I hate for either one of those to be the case, but I can’t think of an alterative. Whatever the case may be, having these women teach a co-ed class is, in and of itself, a violation of Scripture.

If a church wanted to implement a training program like this, there are plenty of ways it could be done without violating Scripture. The elders could evaluate the trainee as she teaches a women’s class. They could have her prepare a lesson and present it only to the elders so they could critique and instruct her. They could even send the women they want trained to a G3 Expository Teaching Workshop for Women.

I would suggest praying fervently for your pastor and elders to come to their senses, express your concern to them, and hope that they correct their course, but if they continue down this road over the long haul, it’s likely you’ll need to start looking for a new church. Because unrepentant sin snowballs. Today it’s “just” a teaching practicum in a co-ed class. Next, women will become permanent teachers of co-ed classes. And from there, can women preaching, and serving as pastors and elders be far behind?

Related Resources

McBible Study and the Famine of God’s Word

Rock Your Role: Jill in the Pulpit (1 Timothy 2:11-12)

Fencing off the Forbidden Fruit Tree

Rock Your Role FAQs

It seems like in conservative churches these days that the most important people are the pregnant moms and women of child bearing age. They are routinely prayed for: to conceive, for the pregnancy, for the delivery, and then afterwards. They get showers and meals brought. Meanwhile there are a whole host of people with needs who are overlooked, milestones that go unrecognized, etc. In addition. The Scriptures say that those worthy of double honor are our leaders! Now I’m certainly not against women having babies, they are a blessing from the Lord. I’m not against rejoicing with those who rejoice, but it just seems overdone to me. At any given time there may be 2 or 3 pregnant and just as many with newborns. I seems to me that back in the day women just had babies with not alot of fanfare. In the meantime are we as dedicated in seeking to bring others to spiritual life? Just wondering what your take is. Are we out of balance?

I understand where you’re coming from, and I think there are several different ways this scenario could be “out of balance”.

First, I want to caution all of us (myself included- this is something I have to be careful about as well) not to assume that just because things are a certain way – either good or bad – in our own church that means they’re the same way in the majority of other churches. I think if you presented this scenario to a room full of women of all ages from different “conservative churches” all over the country, some would agree with you, but the majority would say, “It isn’t that way at my church,” whether they mean their church has a good balance of celebrations or their church foundationally lacks fellowship and doesn’t celebrate anything. I’m assuming you’re seeing this as an issue in your own church (or you wouldn’t have emailed me), so let’s keep our focus there and not on what may or may not be happening at other churches.

One thing we need to be sure to do is keep our categories straight and distinct. A plethora of weddings, showers, and meal trains for new moms has nothing to do with 1 Timothy 5:17‘s admonition to double honor elders who rule well unless something extreme is going on, like the church is spending so much money on these celebrations that they can’t afford to pay his salary, or church members are somehow failing to submit to his leadership with these celebrations, or something like that. So, I’m guessing we can go ahead and put that concern for your church to rest.

Do I think young people’s celebration of things is a bit over the top these days? Yeah, I do. But that’s just the way things are in our culture right now. I know young moms who make St. Patrick’s Day and Arbor Day practically as big a to-do for their kids as I made Christmas for mine. I see elementary schools having big parties with costumes and whatnot to celebrate the “100th day of school”. I never heard of such until about 5-10 years ago. I see these elaborate “gender reveal” parties and announcements taking place, when in my day, we used to just tell people the sex of the baby whenever we found out. (And not too long before that, “gender reveal” and birth were simultaneous!) None of those things are wrong, they’re just different from the way we used to do things. That happens in every generation. It’s normal.

If you think there are people and milestones being overlooked in your church, here’s what I’d suggest:

Get to know, and develop close Titus 2:3-5 relationships with those younger women. Celebrate their milestones with them. In many churches (and having been a member of and worked with lots of different churches over the years, I feel comfortable saying “many”) the younger women desperately need and desire older women to be involved in their lives, and the older women make plenty of excuses, but little to no effort to extend themselves in this way. This is a shameful dereliction of our duty as older women and outright disobedience to Scripture. Those young women need us, and the Bible commands us to be there for them.

If you think older women or others are having their needs or milestones overlooked, set up an appointment with your pastor, not to complain, but to lovingly express your concern and ask his advice about how to approach the situation.

If your pastor is OK with it, why don’t you gather up a few of those younger women you’ve gotten to know, as well as a few of the older women, and start jumping in and celebrating those milestones and providing for needs in areas that are lacking: meals and visits for shut-ins or those who have recently had surgery, retirement parties, or how about a baby shower for new grandmas? That could be fun!

When God shows us something in the church that’s lacking, it might be that He wants us to roll up our sleeves and get to work on it. You might have just found an incredible way to serve the church you love! What a blessing!