When we think about “ministry” or “serving the church,” we often – sometimes exclusively – think about Paul’s preaching, and forget about things like Jesus washing the disciples’ feet, the seven men who served the widows (Acts 6:1-6), the generous givers in Corinth (2 Corinthians 9), the Shunamite who provided a room for Elisha (2 Kings 4:8-10).
Ministry and servanthood are often dirty and unglamorous jobs that nobody else wants to do, but they’re filling a need. When you clean up the church kitchen after a fellowship meal, you are doing ministry. When you sit with a church member at the hospital, you are doing ministry. When you take a turn in the nursery, you are doing ministry. When you pray for your church, you are doing ministry. When you mow the church grounds or fix the leaky baptistery or watch someone’s child so she can keep an appointment, you are doing ministry. You’re not going to be applauded for doing these things. Few, if any, will even notice that they’ve been done, and some of those folks will complain about the way you did it.
And that’s OK, because ultimately, we aren’t doing it for them. We’re serving Christ (Colossians 3:23-24).
Notice the kinds of ministry Jesus commends believers for at the final judgment (Matthew 25:31-40). Not teaching dozens or preaching to hundreds or singing to thousands (though those things are certainly needful and commendable when done biblically), but providing food, drink, and clothing to needy brothers and sisters in Christ, welcoming strangers into the church, visiting sick or imprisoned church members. It’s the little, personal, one on one, taking care of each other’s needs that Christ praises.
“Truly, I say to you,” our King will say, “as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.” (Matthew 25:40)
May we all get out of the mindset that the spotlight is the only route to ministry, put on our grungy clothes, roll up our sleeves, get down on our hands and knees, and do the dirty, lowly work of servanthood.
Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.
I confessed and repented of a certain sin after I got saved, but my husband doesn’t know about it. Do I need to confess that sin to my husband in order to receive God’s blessings or be considered a Proverbs 31 wife? And should he also confess his past sins to me? By the way, my husband is a pastor.
What a beautiful heart you have – wanting to be clean before the Lord and wanting to please Him!
There might be a few very specific scenarios in which it would not be wise to bring up a past sin to your husband, but, generally speaking, in a Christian marriage yes, you should be able to talk to your husband about your past sins (and he should also be able to discuss his past sins with you). But not to get God’s blessings or to be a Proverbs 31 wife.
Marriage is about trust. In the same way that Christian husbands and wives should trust each other enough to feel comfortable being physically naked around one another, we should also trust each other enough to feel comfortable “baring it all” when it comes to our past sins.
It sounds like this is a sin you simply haven’t told him about, but it should go without saying that you should not be lying to him about it or trying to cover it up. Those are direct sins against him, and if you’re doing that, you definitely need to confess and repent to him.
All of that being said, there can be more helpful / wise ways and times to talk to your husband about your past sin and less helpful / wise ways and times to talk to him about it, and you may want to get some help figuring that out from someone who can be more objective about it than you can.
Normally, I would suggest setting up an appointment with your pastor to get some pastoral counsel about it, but since your husband is your pastor, I would suggest locating an ACBC certified Biblical Counselor (not the same thing as a “Christian counselor/therapist”) who is not a member of your church (you don’t want your husband to be embarrassed or make it difficult for the counselor to sit under her pastor’s leadership) and set up an appointment.
Some denominations offer counseling services to pastors and their families, so you may want to contact your denominational leadership to find out about that. (I’m not sure what to tell you about other denominations, but if you’re Southern Baptist, contact your local SBC association or state convention.)
Hello! I found your website while trying to see if a Christian singer was a false teacher. I started reading over your beliefs to make sure that you weren’t a false teacher (I don’t mean that in a rude way, it’s just that I have to be really careful especially since I am only a teenager). I agree with everything except Calvinism. I was just wondering if our beliefs would still align enough to where your positions on whether or not people are false teachers would align with my beliefs. I can always ask my parents afterwards, but I just wanted to know basically if you talk about or reference Calvinist beliefs a lot. Thank you!
Wow. Just, WOW. Honey, your parents must be so proud of you. I know I would be if you were my daughter. I am thrilled – hear me: THRILLED – that you checked me out to make sure I’m not a false teacher before reading my stuff. Do you know how many adults don’t do that before following people? Most of them. I wish I had been as discerning as you are when I was your age.
Calvinism is not a factor when I sit down to evaluate whether or not someone is a false teacher, so that isn’t something you would need to worry about. In fact, there are some people on both my Popular False Teachers page and on my Recommended Bible Teachers page about whom I have no idea whether or not they’re Calvinists. There are even Calvinists I recommend against (such as Matt Chandler), or decline to proactively recommend (such as John Piper). I will say this, though – and, understand, this is a very general statement – having studied dozens of teachers, I find that those who adhere to Calvinism / Reformed theology are less likely, on the whole, to be false teachers than non-Calvinists.
I guess it depends on what you mean by talking about or referencing Calvinism “a lot”. From my perspective, I hardly ever mention it directly, but I’m sure it does come across indirectly in some of the terminology I use and the way I handle Scripture.
This is kind of humorous, but, probably about once a month or so, I get a message or an email from somebody saying, “Why don’t you talk about the false teaching of Calvinism?” or “I see you recommend John MacArthur. Don’t you know he’s one of those [gasp!] Calvinists?”. So I guess I’m not exactly beating people over the head with it if they didn’t know and I have to tell them straight out, “Yeah, I’m a Calvinist, too.”
I don’t know, I’m probably not the most objective person to answer this question. Let’s turn it over to my regular readers and you can see what they have to say in the comments section.
Readers – do you think I talk about Calvinism “a lot” on the blog?
Answer in the comments, and help out this charming and discerning young lady.
Could you tell me where Scripture teaches “fake it till you make it” ?
“fake it ’til you make it”. A phrase easier said than done. But where stands it written? I would say this is not true. Michelle I trust your wisdom and knowledge, but this phrase…not so much. I asked sarcastically where I could find it in Scripture knowing it’s not written. I was hoping to have a response to my previous email, but no reply as yet. God’s word is based on truth not feelings. Trusting feelings when it comes to “fake it ’til you make it” I find is not sound wisdom. Allowing the Holy Spirit to change me is trusting in Him not myself…whether it’s fear or feelings.
Those worries may start creeping in, but you don’t have to set the table and turn down the bed for them. Push them right out of your mind, slam the door behind them, and say (out loud is helpful), “No. I’m not going to worry. I’m going to trust the Lord.” You’ll still feel worried at first, but “fake it ’til you make it.” Your feelings will eventually follow.
I’d like to address two issues regarding these comments, first the commenter’s attitude, then the content.
Attitude: First, I did not receive an email from you about this, so I can only assume “email” in your second comment actually refers to your first comment. However, if you had sent me an email, you would have to have obtained my email address here, where I clearly state (in bold type, no less):
“I regret I am unable to answer most e-mails unrelated to speaking engagements…”
So if you had emailed me, you shouldn’t have expected a reply at all, much less on your timetable.
Since you commented, you should have read – in large font directly above the comment box:
“Before commenting please see the ‘Welcome’ tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. Comments are handled manually, so there will be a delay before approved comments are posted.”
So, a) you should have expected some sort of delay, and b) if you had clicked on the Welcome tab as instructed, you would have seen this:
The “Please click here…” hyperlink goes to an article further explaining my email and comments policy and why emails and many comments usually go unanswered. I have bent over backwards to make it clear to my readers that I can’t answer most correspondence and why, even though I really wish I could.
Furthermore, you sent your first comment three weeks ago and your second comment a week later. To give you a little perspective, the first question I answered in this article was sent in almost a year ago. The second one, a month ago. Some people don’t get their questions answered for months. Others never get their questions answered, because I simply don’t have enough hours in the day to get to everyone’s questions. I hate that, but that’s just the way it has to be.
Not realizing your initial question was sarcastic, I had saved it in order to answer it in a Mailbag article, but I’ll be honest, when I got your second comment, my gut level reaction was to just delete both of them. Being impatient, demanding, and snarky when you’re asking someone else to do something for you (i.e. answer your question) is neither becoming of a Christian nor very effective.
But since I had already decided to address the content of your question, I decided to go ahead and do that and also add the part about your attitude as a teaching moment for you and anyone else to whom it might apply.
Content: I thought most people in my audience would be familiar with the phrase “fake it til you make it” (and, indeed, in the four times this article has run on my blog, you’re the only one who has commented objecting to it), but I can see where it might not be the clearest wording in the world, especially for people who aren’t familiar with the common usage of the phrase.
No one who has read the entire article could surmise that I was saying that “God’s word is based on feelings,” or that I was saying people should “[Trust] feelings when it comes to ‘fake it ’til you make it’”. (I’m not really even sure what that means since the theme of that paragraph, that section, and the entire article is that we should not trust or be controlled by our feelings.)
“You’ll still feel worried at first, but ‘fake it ’til you make it.’ Your feelings will eventually follow,” simply means that we should obey Scripture (in this case the Scriptures that tell us to trust God) regardless of how we feel about it and trust God to eventually line our feelings up with His Word. I thought that was clear from the context, but if it was not, I sincerely apologize. I have added a footnote to the article with this explanation in case it’s unclear to any other readers.
UPDATE (9/8/21)
I received what I thought was a very gracious response from this reader. With her permission, I share it here:
Dear Michelle,
“fake it ‘til you make it”…here…
I ask your forgiveness. I had no intention of appearing impatient, nor demanding, nor snarky. Thank you for your very frank response and clarifying your answer to my question.
I am grateful for the knowledge and wisdom God has given you. My question was sincere as were my comments. And again I’m sorry if you took them as you did, as I had no intention to raise your ire in responding. I did indeed read the “welcome”, and again didn’t expect a response from your busy schedule and many emails you receive.
My heart was to speak as one sister to another. I have been told this phrase before. Words have consequences, and quite honestly for me, as I filter words and phrases through God’s Word, I am reminded to speak truth in love, not snarky, or demanding. We can all learn to be effective in our walk with the Lord by not jumping to conclusions that are incorrect, being teachable and gracious.
Blessings on you and your ministry.
If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
1. Go back to lesson 3 (link above) and review your answer to the first part of question 5, Israel’s pattern of sin and repentance in 2:16-23. How does today’s passage fit this pattern? How does today’s passage fit the theme verse of Judges (21:25), “In those days there was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in his own eyes.”?
2. Briefly review lesson 7 (link above) to set the scene for this week’s passage.
3. Remember that the Bible didn’t have chapter and verse markings when it was originally written. Judges 8:1 picks up in the middle of a story. Back up and read 7:24-8:3, and the first part of chapter 8 will make more sense.
Describe in your own words what’s going on here. What happened? (7:24-25) What did the men of Ephraim think should have happened – why were their noses out of joint? (8:1 – think about the ego of men as it relates to covering themselves in the glory of battle, and the fact that Ephraim was called up in the middle of the battle).
How did Gideon’s reply (8:2-3) appease the Ephraimites? (Think about the gleaning / harvest comparison, the military glory of killing the enemy’s leader, and the reference to Abiezer.) Explain the wisdom of Gideon’s reply.
4. Read 4-17. Just for reference, which Midianite leaders had Gideon already captured and put to death, and which Midianite leaders was he now pursuing? (8:5)
Think about the intensity of hospitality in Israel at that time – the kind of hospitality that compelled Israelites to take in even strangers as overnight guests. Also consider the strong sense of brotherhood that existed among the 12 tribes of Israel. Look at the words and actions of the men of Succoth and Penuel through that lens and describe how dastardly they were.
As judge, was Gideon’s response justified? Did he act out of personal retaliation, or out of meting out justice, and to set an example for Israel for the future? What is the common, underlying principle between Gideon disciplining the men of Succoth and Penuel and New Testament church discipline? When there’s “sin in the camp,” why is it necessary for that sin to be rooted out from among God’s people? What are the benefits of dealing with it biblically? What are the potential consequences of letting it fester?
5. Read 18-21. How does this wrap up the story of the battle against the Midianites?
Notice the theme of manhood and masculinity that saturates this passage. Examine each verse and what it says about what makes a man a man. Do any or all of these ideas line up with what Scripture says about being a godly man? Which Scriptures about godly manhood do these ideas bring to mind? How would the portrayal of manhood in this passage stack up against Jesus’ portrayal of godly manhood?
6. Read 22-35. Why did the men of Israel want Gideon to rule over them? (22) Was Gideon the one who saved them from Midian? Who was? How does this explain Gideon’s response in verse 23?
What was an ephod? Why do you think Gideon made an ephod? How did Gideon compromise between the end of verse 23 and the beginning of verse 24? How does compromising on God’s rule and reign always lead to idolatry? Notice how idols bookended Gideon’s life. He started by tearing one down and ended by setting up another.
When you see someone singled out and named in a seemingly random piece of information like Abimelech is in 30-31, keep an eye out for that person and/or piece of information in a future passage (we saw this in lesson 5).
“The people of Israel did not remember the Lord their God who had delivered them from [their enemies]…” (34) “Do this in remembrance of Me.” – Jesus, referring to the Lord’s Supper (Luke 22:19). How prone are we to forgetting the Lord our God who delivered us from the Enemy through Christ? How does the Lord’s Supper, the gathering of the saints, and the proclamation of the Word help us to remember?
Israel idolized Gideon. They idolized the ephod. And as soon as Gideon died, they idolized Baal-berith. Gideon risked his life to tear down Israel’s idols, and yet fell into idolatry himself at the end of his life.
Think back to lessons 6 & 7 (links above) and the lengths God went to in order to send the message loud and clear to Gideon and to Israel that He alone is God, that He alone saves, and that He alone was to get the glory for the victory over Midian. Why didn’t they get it?
Do passages like this ever pierce your heart? Do you ever wonder if there’s something you’re just not getting even though God has gone to great lengths in Christ and His Word to make it loud and clear to you? Spend some time in prayer asking God to help you avoid the failure of Gideon and the Israelites, to open your eyes to any areas of your life in which you’re not getting it, and to help you obey and stay faithful to Him.
Homework
Think about the words and actions of the men of Succoth and Penuel in light of what the New Testament teaches and shows us about Christian hospitality and care. What is one tangible way you can help provide for a brother or sister in Christ this week? Go do it.
Just a quick heads up: In case the blog schedule is interrupted next week, it’s all Ida’s fault. :0)
In 25 years of TV broadcasting … I have never presented a more worrisome tropical forecast for the WAFB area. Ida has the potential of being more troublesome than 2008's Gustav, more problematic than 1992's Andrew."
This is our local news guy, Jay. I know everybody thinks Louisiana + hurricane = Katrina, but in the Baton Rouge area, Gustav and Andrew did more damage. We were without power for about a week after each of them, and at my house, we lost a rather large tree during Gustav, whereas during Katrina we got some wind and rain and the power was out for maybe 30 minutes. The good news is, Ida should die down to a Cat. 1 by the time it gets to us.
Anyway we’ll probably spend today prepping and battening down the hatches, and having a hurricane party (aka: grilling all the meat from the freezer before it spoils) next week if the power’s out. And if it is, I obviously won’t be posting anything on the blog.
I’ll check in on social media when I can. Your prayers are appreciated.
It should come as no surprise to us that Mark could reach such a conclusion. He sees people’s innate desire for community. He’s a decent guy (by the world’s standards) and wants to give something back. He sees his profession as a way to do that. It makes sense if you look at things from his perspective.
To Mark, church is merely a gathering of people for social interaction and encouragement. Like a coffee klatch. Or a support group. But the thing is, Mark isn’t a believer. His mind hasn’t been transformed by Christ to a biblical way of thinking, so it’s understandable that he doesn’t get it.
What should shock us is that, long before Mark’s thoughts on church popped up in our news feeds, people who identify as Christians were saying the same thing. Or at least acting like it.
I don’t need to join a church. I can just watch sermons online.
I’ve been hurt by a church, so I’m done with it altogether. I’ll just hang out in my Christian Facebook group instead.
I like my online friends way better than the people at the churches around here.
It seems like a lot of Christians -who should be thinking biblically – don’t get it either.
Sure, there are times of illness, tragedy, work, being out of town, and other circumstances that can temporarily prevent us from being with our church family. In those cases, social media and the internet are a godsend that can keep us connected, in a minimal way, to the body of Christ. But, in much the same way that it would be unhealthy to replace every meal with a Snickers bar simply because you don’t want to make the effort to cook, choosing a steady diet of internet “church” when there’s a spiritually healthy meal available is a sure fire way to deteriorate into a diseased, malnourished Christian.
There are lots of reasons why being a faithful, active member of a local church isn’t optional for Christians, but now it seems necessary to also explain that the internet isn’t your local church. It can’t be. There’s just too much missing: church ordinances, practicing the “one anothers”, serving in church ministries, making sacrifices for others, church discipline, ecclesiastical structure and authority, and…you know…actual face to face interaction with other humanoids. There’s far more to church than hearing a good sermon and the occasional carefully-edited chat with other Christians.
And perhaps one of the most important things that’s missing at First Church of the Interwebs is a pastor.
Not a preacher. A pastor. Your pastor.
You need a pastor – a man who labors in prayer over the sheep God has entrusted to him, who nurtures and serves those under his care, whose heart so beats with the Body that he knows whether they need encouragement, rebuke, comfort, training, or guidance, and lovingly provides it.
A blogger isn’t going to come to your house and comfort you at 3:00 a.m. when your spouse has just passed away.
A Facebook group can’t possibly grasp all the nuances of the situation with your prodigal child and provide correct biblical counsel on how to deal with it.
A sermon web site isn’t led by the Holy Spirit to choose the sermon you need to hear. You choose what you want to hear.
Even the most doctrinally sound preacher on the web can’t marry you, bury you, baptize you, or administer the Lord’s Supper to you.
Your Twitter friends won’t visit the hospital and pray with you before surgery.
Your favorite Christian podcaster can’t look you in the eye and know when something’s wrong or that you need help.
And even if they could, it’s not their place.
You see, when you have real, serious spiritual needs, reaching out to a blogger, internet pastor, or other online personality to fill those needs doesn’t work right and could even be harmful to your situation, because you’re asking us to step in where we don’t belong. To usurp the place God has reserved for the man He has called to shepherd you.
God didn’t ordain the office of blogger. He didn’t breathe out Scripture to train and encourage podcasters. And there aren’t any biblical qualifications for social media groups.
God created pastors.
God created pastors because He thought that was the best way for Christians to be cared for until Christ returns to take us home. And if God thought that was the best way, isn’t any other way we come up with going to be less than what’s best for us? Who are we to second guess the God of the universe and try to replace His plan with one of our own making?
Yes, there are wolves out there masquerading as shepherds, and it can be hard to find a doctrinally sound church and pastor. That doesn’t mean you give up and settle for something that’s not biblical. As far as it’s within your ability, you search, you pray, you make sacrifices, maybe you even pack up and move, but you find a reasonably healthy church with a pastor you can submit to, and you plug in. That’s what people did before there was an internet, you know.
Nobody on the internet can take the place of a living, breathing, boots on the ground pastor and church family, so stop trying to replace them with people you’ll likely never meet, who don’t love you as much, can’t care for you, and aren’t as invested in you as those God has ordained to fill that need in your heart and life.
