Category: Mailbag

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Vaxxers, Anti-Vaxxers, and the Health of the Body

Michelle Lesley

 

I was wondering if you could help me work through this issue: some people at my church did not vaccinate their children. While I do see that people have very strong opinions about this issue, it creates a hazardous situation for some of the members. For example, a young expecting mom can not come and worship because she could contract measles from an unvaccinated child and put her unborn baby at risk. (Not a hypothetical, these are the doctor’s orders. She should not be around unvaccinated children.) The same goes for newborn babies and their families. I am wondering if I should speak to the pastor about this issue, since I believe that the anti-vaxxers act unlovingly towards those who cannot come and attend church until their children are vaccinated. However, I fear that it would cause division and divert the focus from Christ to political or medical issues.

To vaccinate, or not to vaccinate? It’s a tough issue to discuss these days. I have a strongly held position on vaccinations. I’m not going to share it because as you’ve aptly pointed out, that would do nothing but cause division and divert the focus of this article and my ministry from Christ and His Word to a far less important issue. I will say, though, that, my personal position on vaccinations aside, I miss the “good old days” – like 30 years ago – when this wasn’t an issue that had Christian women practically scratching each other’s eyes out. We really should be ashamed of that regardless of which side of the issue we’re on. As sisters in Christ, we can, and should, do better.

I’m not a medical professional, so if you clicked on this article looking for me to say, “Vaxxers/Anti-Vaxxers are right because…science,” I’m sorry, but you’re going to be disappointed. (You’ll also be disappointed if you came here to argue your position in the comments section. I won’t be posting argumentative or inflammatory comments from either side.) My priority is to address the biblical side of how individual Christians and our churches should approach this issue.

Being godly and obedient to Scripture is exponentially
more important than your stance on vaccinations.

So let’s take a look at some biblical principles involved in the vaccination issue:

Is your stance on vaccinations an idol?

How strongly do you feel about vaccinating compared to how strongly you feel about evangelizing the lost? How much time do you spend talking about vaccinating compared to how much time you spend discussing Scripture with others? How much reading have you done about vaccinating compared to how much you read your Bible? Has your stance on vaccinations ever caused you to sin in thought, word, or deed?

Making decisions about your child’s health is, of course, important. But it is not anywhere near as important as the things of God, and it is certainly not more important than the things of God. Prayerfully reflect on the portion of your heart, soul, mind, and strength you invest in the vaccination issue. If it’s more heart, soul, mind, and strength than you invest in studying your Bible, prayer, evangelism, or attending and serving your church, then the vaccination issue has become an idol for you. Repent.

You shall have no other gods before me. Exodus 20:3

And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. Mark 12:30

Do you trust God’s sovereignty?

God is sovereign over life and death, sickness and health. The reason you are alive and reading this article is that it is not God’s will for you to be dead right this minute. If it were, you would be.

Think of all the stories you’ve heard of people who were practically religious about wellness, healthy eating, and exercise who dropped dead out of the blue in their 30’s or 40’s. Now think about the people who have lived into their hundreds. When the newspaper interviews them and asks about the secret to longevity, the centenarian inevitably responds with something about eating eggs and bacon and drinking a few beers every day. You can do everything “right” and still die young, and you can do everything “wrong” and live longer than most people. Even if the pregnant woman isn’t exposed to measles at church, she could be exposed at work, the store, the park, the post office, a restaurant, even her own husband or her other children could bring it home. And even if she is exposed, it’s not a foregone conclusion that her unborn child will be harmed. God is the one who decides all of that, not our own actions.

Should we be good stewards of our health and our bodies? Of course. Christians are to be good stewards of everything God gives us. But beyond being a good steward and making decisions as wisely as possible, the life and health of your child is in God’s hands, right where it belongs. If it is within God’s plan for your child to be healthy, your child will be healthy. If it is within God’s plan for your child to have an illness or disability, your child will have an illness or disability. And there’s nothing you can do about that except praise God in whatever situation He sends your way.

And let’s consider why we’re being good stewards and making wise decisions. Sometimes, without our even realizing it, fear of what might happen causes us to think that if we can get all our ducks in a row just right, we can ward off anything bad happening. It’s kind of a superstitious or even a prosperity gospel (“If I just do all the right things to appease God, He’ll protect me from what I fear.”) way of thinking.

Superstitious worry and fear are not to be our motive for stewardship and wise decision-making. Our motive should be honoring and obeying God in every aspect of our lives and then trusting the outcome to Him. There are health concerns with vaccinating and there are health concerns with not vaccinating. Whichever choice you make, you must trust God with the outcome of your child’s health, rather than trusting in your decision, the experts, studies, statistics, etc.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of  Lord.” Job 1:21

What’s love got to do with it?

A major problem in the church today is that everybody thinks she gets to define what Christian love is. And most of the time that individualized definition is selfish or worldly or both. If Sister A says something or does something Sister B doesn’t like, Sister B accuses Sister A of being unloving.

No way. We don’t get to mishandle God’s Word and use it as a weapon or tool of manipulation against our brothers and sisters. That is wrong. If we’re going to accuse someone of being unloving, we’d certainly better make sure we’re using the Bible’s definition of love, not the world’s and not our own. And the Bible nearly always addresses the issue of Christian love not from the  perspective of, “Is my sister in Christ being loving to me?” but “Am I being as loving to my sister as Christ is to me?” John 15:12-14 is Jesus’ example to us of this:

This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
Jesus’ instruction to the disciples is to give love, not to concern themselves with whether or not they’re receiving enough love from the other eleven.

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.
Who is about to lay down His life here? Jesus. And who are His friends? The disciples. Jesus is teaching them to focus on laying their lives down for others, not to expect others to lay down their lives for them.

The fact of the matter is that we’ve got to demonstrate selfless love to others even when they’re not demonstrating that kind of love to us.

By not vaccinating, are anti-vaxxers being unloving to fellow church members who can’t be around unvaccinated children? Are vaxxers being unloving toward anti-vax church members by accusing them of being unloving for not vaccinating their children? We need to be very careful here. The Bible does not address vaccinations, which means it’s not a sin to vaccinate and it’s not a sin not to vaccinate. That puts vaccinations in the category of adiaphora, or Christian liberty, to work out our own salvation and follow our own, biblically informed, consciences. It is a sin to violate your own conscience. So, if a sister in Christ has prayerfully searched the Scriptures and made a decision about vaccinations that is in keeping with her conscience, and you are insisting she do something that violates her conscience (or you’re saying she’s unloving for refusing to violate her conscience), who is the one who’s really being unloving here?

Which is greater, our love for our position on vaccinations or our love for brothers and sisters in Christ who hold the opposite position?

…work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, Philippians 2:12b-15

And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother. 1 John 4:21

Are you dying to self?

The Christian life is a continuous act of crucifixion of the flesh and denial of self. There is no point in our journey with Christ at which we can sit down, cross our arms and say, “I’ve been serving others non-stop. Now it’s time for somebody to serve me.”. (I’m embarrassed at how many times I’ve had this attitude myself.)

How does that work itself out in the context of this reader’s question? The pregnant woman does everything she can to love and serve her anti-vaxx brothers and sisters while protecting her unborn child. She looks for a workaround in which she bears the burden of making sacrifices, not the anti-vaxxers. At the same time, the anti-vax church members do everything they can to love and serve the pregnant woman while maintaining what they believe is the wisest decision for their children’s health. They look for a workaround in which they bear the burden of making sacrifices, not the pregnant woman. (Every decision we make comes with responsibilities. Christian anti-vaxxers, part of your responsibility when you choose not to vaccinate is not only to protect your child, but also to protect, as far as you’re reasonably able, anyone your child might infect.)

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4

So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. Romans 8:12-13

Are you thinking outside the box?

Outside the world of math, there is rarely only one solution to a problem. (And even inside the world of math there are some problems which have several possible solutions!) It’s probably not the case that the only choices in this situation are that either the anti-vaxxers keep their children at home (or vaccinate them) or the pregnant woman has to stay home. Your idea of going to your pastor is spot on. Just make sure you’re going to him with the attitude of, “Could we meet together as a church body and brainstorm a workable solution to this issue? I’m willing to make sacrifices,” rather than, “Please tell those anti-vaxxers how wrong they are and make them vaccinate their children or stay home.” (Not saying you would have that latter attitude, just making a comparison.)

Is your sanctuary large enough that if the pregnant woman sat on the far end of one side and the unvaccinated children sat on the far end of the other side that they would be far enough apart to keep her from exposure to the measles? (She would need to discuss this with her doctor.) Does your church have more than one worship service (two a.m. services or an a.m. and a p.m.)? An agreement could be reached in which the pregnant woman comes to one service and the unvaccinated children come to the other service. Does your church have a baby cry room/nursing room (a room fussy children can be taken to so they don’t disrupt the service and/or in which moms can nurse babies, that has the sermon “piped in” via video or speaker)? Could something be worked out where the pregnant woman and the unvaccinated children take turns “attending” the worship service in this room each week? If your church doesn’t have a room like this, could one be rigged up? If no other solution can be worked out, and it actually does boil down to someone having to stay home from church, could the pregnant woman and the unvaccinated children take turns staying home from church?

These are just some possible solutions off the top of my head. If the vaxxers and the anti-vaxxers will all come together in an attitude of self-sacrificial love (and, what an incredible opportunity for a pastor to lead his people through putting this into practice) and the desire to serve one another, surely something can be worked out. (And let’s keep in mind, this is only a temporary situation until the baby is born and is old enough to be vaccinated himself. It’s not going to last forever.)

In the body of Christ, no issue is an “us vs. them” issue. It’s always a “we’re all in this together” issue.

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. Ephesians 4:1-6

Has your church ever faced this issue?
How was it addressed and worked out?

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Answering a Fool, Mailbag

The Mailbag: Answering a Fool #2

Michelle Lesley

 

Answer a fool according to his folly,
lest he be wise in his own eyes.
Proverbs 26:5

There’s a lot of foolishness masquerading as Christianity these days. Occasionally, I get e-mails, messages, and comments showcasing this type of foolishness. It needs to be biblically corrected so these folks can stop “being wise in their own eyes,” repent, and believe and practice the truth of Scripture. From time to time, I’ll be sharing those messages in The Mailbag with a biblical corrective, not only so the e-mail/message writer can be admonished by Scripture, but to provide you with Scriptures and reasoning you can use if you’re ever confronted with this kind of foolishness.

(This reader’s remarks {in blue} are reprinted in full.)

I read your piece on Priscilla Shirer and it’s simple – you’re a White woman who knows nothing about Black Christianity or Black people in general.

How dare you suggest that there’s such a thing as white Christianity or black Christianity or any other kind of Christianity defined by race or culture? Have you never read the New Testament? The Apostles taught time and again that the gospel unites – not divides – us, because they were establishing the church in a place that had all kinds of ethnic and cultural divisions. Shame on you for trying to reinstitute division in rebellion against Christ’s command that His people are to dwell in unity!

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28

Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity! Psalm 133:1

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 1 Peter 3:8

I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment. 1 Corinthians 1:10

There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. Ephesians 4:4-6

Furthermore, how dare you assume that I know nothing about black people? You don’t know me or anything about me. You are stereotyping me according to your own bigotry, assumptions, and prejudices against white people, and you’re stereotyping black people by assuming that all black people have the same worldview as you, and you’re putting race above Christianity by making this a racial issue instead of making this a biblical issue.

I have evaluated Priscilla Shirer the same way I’ve evaluated every other teacher on this blog – not according to race, but according to the Bible. You are the one who has come along and cast aspersions on me because I’m white and therefore supposedly unqualified to evaluate a teacher who happens to be black. Frankly, if I were Priscilla Shirer, I would be outraged that someone would suggest I should be held to a different standard than white teachers because of the color of my skin.

We already [sic] handling Mrs. Shirer, no need to put yourself in our lane and comment when you clearly know nothing about our ways or conduct.

Just for the sake of argument, I’m going to meet you on your own racial terms for a minute. If by “handling” you mean rebuking Priscilla for her false doctrine and insisting she teach sound doctrine, then your so-called “black Christianity” is not “handling” Priscilla Shirer, it is rewarding her.

Since you read my article, I’m sure you noticed that T.D. Jakes – who has to be one of the most (if not the most) popular, high profile, and influential black “pastors” in America – invited Priscilla to his “church” in 2016 to present her with the “Lady of Destiny” award. The audience was filled with other black evangelicals cheering Priscilla on, including her mother, Lois Evans, and her father, Tony Evans (another extremely popular, high profile, and influential black pastor) who also celebrated this “success” (Lois Evans’ word) of Priscilla’s on Instagram. How in the world can this type of thing be called “handling” her?

Furthermore, Priscilla has been teaching false doctrine since at least the early 2000s. How much longer is it going to take “black Christianity” to “handle” her?

Now I’m going to step out of the “lane” of racialism and back into the lane of biblical Christianity:

If you are a genuinely regenerated Christian, you and I (and every other Christian of every other race) are in the same lane, with the same ways, and the same conduct, because our lane, ways, and conduct are not dictated by race, they’re dictated by something that transcends race – the Bible. If you’re allowing your lane, ways, and conduct to be dictated by race instead of Scripture, you’re sinning by making an idol out of race (because anything that we prioritize above God and His ways, as revealed in His Word, is idolatry) and you need to repent.

I say this out of love so you don’t say something else and be seen as possibly prejudiced. I don’t expect a repost. That’s cool, but I do expect at least a double take when opining on us POC [people of color] in the future.

If you’re a Christian, you have no right to “expect” me to do anything but be obedient to Christ and His Word – just like I expect you to be. Just like I expect Priscilla to be. I will not degrade and disrespect the teachers I evaluate by drawing lines of racial distinction and suggesting that black teachers be held to a different standard, or “handled” differently than teachers of other races. That would be reason for people to see me as prejudiced. I will continue to judge teachers, not on the color of their skin, but on the content of their character and their teaching, and whether or not that character and teaching align with rightly handled Scripture. As Jesus Himself said:

Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment. John 7:24

You are not saying any of this out of love. At least you’re not saying it out of biblical love, because biblical, Christian love would never falsely accuse, belittle, and slander a sister in Christ as you have done to me. Biblical love – love for Christ and His church – would never seek to divide Christians over race. Biblical love would never redefine Christianity according to race instead of defining it according to Scripture. Never.

Biblical love knows there’s only one color that matters. It’s the color that unites us together in one heart, mind, spirit, and family – the red, rich, royal blood of Christ.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Quickievangelism, the CRCNA, JMac on the mark of the beast…)

Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question. I also like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar can be a helpful tool!

In these potpourri editions of The Mailbag, I’d also like to address the three questions I’m most commonly asked:

“Do you know anything about [Christian pastor/teacher/author] or his/her materials? Is he/she doctrinally sound?”

Try these links: 
Popular False Teachers / Recommended Bible Teachers / search bar
Is She a False Teacher? 7 Steps to Figuring It Out on Your Own
(Do keep bringing me names, though. If I get enough questions about a particular teacher, I’ll probably write an article on her.)

“Can you recommend a good women’s Bible study?”

No. Here’s why:
The Mailbag: Can you recommend a good Bible study for women/teens/kids?
The Mailbag: “We need to stop relying on canned studies,” doesn’t mean, “We need to rely on doctrinally sound canned studies.”.

“You shouldn’t be warning against [popular false teacher] for [X,Y,Z] reason!”

Answering the Opposition- Responses to the Most Frequently Raised Discernment Objections

Yesterday at the store I had a hard time with witnessing to someone. I’m pretty sure it’s because I was only there for a total of 3 minutes. My question is, how do I witness to someone in such a short time?

It brings me so much joy to hear that you are out there sharing the gospel!

I would recommend using tracts. That way if your time with the person gets cut short, you can give them the gospel “to go”.

I use Bezeugen Tract Club tracts. If you join their “tract club”, they will send you 30 free tracts a month. They are the size of a business card, so they’re really convenient to carry in your purse.

Living Waters also has a great selection of tracts. And, while they’re not exactly tracts, Wretched has some very good online evangelism resources and is currently offering a free evangelistic booklet (you pay only shipping/handling) for giveaways at outreach events.

Keep up the great work of sharing the good news of the gospel!

Is the Christian Reformed Church a church that teaches sound doctrine?

It’s always good to do our due diligence when considering a new church or denomination, so this is a super question.

The Christian Reformed Church in North America is a rather small denomination (230,000 people in membership) that I’m not very familiar with, so I went poking around their website.

There are a lot of things that look very encouraging, doctrinally about the CRCNA. They affirm the Apostles’, Nicene, and Athanasian Creeds as well as the Belgic Confession, the Heidelberg Catechism, and the Canons of Dort. The plan of salvation presented on the website is biblical. In fact, most of what I read at the CRCNA website seemed solid.

However, a few red flags jumped out at me as I explored the site:

🚩 The heavy emphasis on “justice”. There’s something about “justice” on nearly every page of the site. Certainly Christians should uphold biblical justice, but many churches and denominations today have bought into the secular social justice movement, which is decidedly unbiblical, as it promotes feminism, normalization of sexual perversion, and unbiblical methods of addressing issues like racism, immigration, poverty, etc. It appears that the CRCNA at least leans in the direction of the social justice movement.

🚩 The role of women in the church. The CRCNA’s position reads: 

All congregations in the Christian Reformed Church in North America may allow women to serve in the office of minister, elder, deacon, or commissioned pastor. The CRC recognizes that there are two different perspectives and convictions on this issue, both of which honor the Scriptures as the infallible Word of God…

This is unbiblical, not to mention self-contradictory. Either Scripture allows women to serve in these capacities or it does not. (And it clearly does not.) Both positions cannot be true at the same time. If a church adopts the unbiblical position, it is not “honoring the Scriptures as the infallible Word of God.”

🚩 Some of the CRCNA’s position statements have a “squishy”, progressive, or blatantly unbiblical tilt rather than an unflagging commitment to Scripture. For example:

Creation care (environmentalism): “We are compelled to address human-induced climate change as an ethical, social justice, and religious issue…”

Ecumenicity (unity with other churches): “[The CRCNA] also wishes to engage churches of other traditions such as…the Roman Catholic Church, and Orthodox churches.” (Catholicism and the major Orthodox traditions hold many unbiblical views including an unbiblical soteriology. Scripture forbids Christians from unifying with such organizations.)

Homosexuality: “Homosexuality [is] a condition of personal identity in which a person is sexually oriented toward persons of the same sex…for which the person may bear only a minimal responsibility…The church should do everything in its power to help persons with same-sex orientation and give them support toward healing and wholeness.” (Homosexuality is not a “condition of personal identity” any more than adultery or thievery is. It is a sin that the person is just as responsible for as the adulterer or thief is for his sin. We would not speak in terms of “support toward healing and wholeness” for an adulterer or a thief, we would speak in terms of repentance and mortification of sin, just as we should speak when someone’s sin of choice is homosexuality.)

Pentecostalism (charismaticism, sign gifts, etc.): “Acknowledge the gift of prophecy today…Think of prayer as a dialogue, not a monologue, and be attentive to what God is saying as you pray…be willing to engage in scripturally sound deliverance ministry against demonic powers…”

If you are considering attending or joining one of the CRCNA churches which does not allow women to serve in unbiblical roles, I would recommend setting up an appointment with the pastor to carefully and seriously discuss these issues at length, along with any other questions you may have. If you have the option of joining with a non-CRCNA church that has a more solidly biblical stance on these issues than your local CRCNA church, I would encourage you to go with the non-CRCNA church.

John MacArthur has said, that it’s possible to take the mark of the beast and still be saved? I notice that you endorse him, do you believe this is correct? 

I think a lot of people have stretched what Dr. MacArthur said wildly out of context and out of proportion. So the first issue here is to make sure you have a clear understanding of what he actually said and meant from Dr. MacArthur himself, not from random bloggers or people on YouTube. You can read Dr. MacArthur’s position statement on this issue (written by spokesman Phil Johnson) here.

As for my opinion on Dr. MacArthur’s position, I think it’s biblical and well-reasoned, but this particular issue – as with most detail-oriented eschatological issues – is not something I feel compelled to expend much time and energy on. When Christ returns, events will unfold as laid out in Scripture. Until then, we have a limited understanding of what will transpire and the order in which things will transpire, and much of what constitutes eschatology today is educated guessing. I think it is much more fruitful to spend our time evangelizing the lost and discipling the saved so that the church will be spiritually ready for the return of Christ. Whatever may happen in the days surrounding His return, we know that none of His sheep will be lost.

Since my last “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, I’ve heard back from two of the readers whose questions I addressed, and I wanted to share their responses with you:

From the discouraged husband I asked you to pray for:

I am extremely encouraged by the people who are stepping forward and praying for me…Thank you for your encouragement and prayers. They reach into the darkest places and are invaluable.

From the lady needing help with her nursing home ministry:

Thank you Michelle for answering, I’ve been thinking of finding a church. I have to be truthful, it wasn’t the answer I was hoping for, but it is the answer I think I needed.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Mailbag, Sanctification

The Mailbag: How can I grow to love Jesus more?

Michelle Lesley

Originally published June 11, 2018

I have been a born again Christian for many of years. But how do I get so in love with him?? Please can you help me.

This could possibly be my favorite Mailbag question ever. How can I love Jesus more? What a sweet and precious thought. I should be asking that question every day. We all should.

The first thing you will have to determine in your own heart, through prayer and study of the Word, is exactly what you mean by your question. Do you mean:

“I’m a Christian, but I consistently have no affection for Christ whatsoever. I just don’t really care about Him one way or the other, but I see other Christians who seem to genuinely love Him. How can I get those feelings for Jesus?”

or:

“I’m a Christian. I love Christ, but I want to develop an even greater love for Him. How do I do that?”.

If your meaning is closer to the first question, I would counsel you to examine yourself to see if you are truly saved as 2 Corinthians 13:5 instructs us. Except in extreme cases of emotional or mental disorders, someone who has genuinely been born again should have some sort of affinity, love, gratitude, and affection for Christ because of who He is and all He has done for her. If you honestly don’t give a flip about Jesus, that’s a big red flag signaling that you might not be saved, even if you think you are. I would strongly recommend working through my Bible study Am I Really Saved? A First John Check Up as well as setting up an appointment with your pastor, a trusted, spiritually mature Christian friend, or a biblical counselor for counseling.

If you’ve compared your heart and life to Scripture and you’re certain you’re a genuinely regenerated Christian who wants to grow in the love she already has for Jesus, it’s simple. Just do what His Word says:

Study Your Bible

I would urge you to put away all of the “canned” studies (books, DVDs, etc. written by others) and simply pick up your Bible, choose a book, start at the beginning, and work your way through to the end. I cannot stress enough how much more rewarding studying the Bible for yourself is than relying on someone else’s materials, and how much closer it will draw you to Christ. If you’ve never studied the Bible on your own before, try taking notes on the text, or use one of my studies (see the “Bible Studies” tab at the top of this page) as “training wheels” to get started. Here are a few other resources that may help:

Bible Study Articles and Resources

10 Simple Steps to Plain Vanilla Bible Study

Rightly Dividing: 12 Do’s and Don’ts for Effective Bible Study

Bible Reading Plans

You’re Not as Dumb as You Think You Are: Five Reasons to Put Down that Devotional and Pick Up the Actual Bible

Pray

You can’t grow in your love for Someone you’re not spending time with. Set aside a designated, uninterrupted time of prayer each day in which you can take all the time you need to pour out your heart to God, worship Him, praise Him, and thank Him. But talk to the Lord throughout the day, too. “Lord, I have to discipline my child right now. Help me do it in a godly way.” “Father, thank you that these peaches I needed were on special today!” “I see Julie coming toward my office. Lord, she’s so hard to love. Please help me show her Your kindness.”

Resources on Prayer

Basic Training: 8 Things You Need to Know about Prayer

After this Manner, Therefore Pray

Can We Talk?

Be a Faithful Church Member

Find a doctrinally sound church that preaches and teaches the Bible well. Become a member. Faithfully attend worship service and Sunday School (aka: small group, Bible study, etc.) each week unless an emergency comes up. Find a place to serve, and get plugged in. Make friends with other members of your church and spend time in fellowship with them outside of church activities. Being fed the Word, serving the Body of Christ, and bonding with brothers and sisters in Christ will build your love for Him.

Basic Training: 7 Reasons Church is Not Optional and Non-Negotiable for Christians

All Word and No Play: The Importance of Fun and Fellowship in the Doctrinally Sound Church

Preach the Gospel to Yourself

Remind yourself of what Jesus did for you – the sin He saved you out of, the forgiveness, cleansing, and peace He freely gave you, the power the indwelling Holy Spirit gives you to resist sin and walk in holiness, the home in Heaven He has promised you.

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.
Romans 5:6-11

That’s what Jesus did for you. You. How could you not love Him more and more every time you think about that?

Basic Training: The Gospel

Be Thankful

Make it a habit to thank God for things throughout the day, especially the things you often take for granted. Can you read? Do you have enough food to eat and clean water to drink? Do you own a Bible in your native language? Do you have a car? Clothes to wear? Family and friends? Air conditioning? Chocolate?

Everything good in your life, every blessing you experience, comes to you straight from the hand of God. Think about what you really deserve for your sin and rebellion against God. Then think about the fact that He not only sacrificed His precious Son for you, but that He continues to bless you abundantly. Every thing you thank God for is just another reason to love Him more deeply.

Top 10 Bible Verses on Giving Thanks

25 Things I Forgot to Thank God For

Give it Time and Be Patient

My husband and I have been married for over 25 years. Everything I feel about him – my love, trust, respect, admiration, everything – has grown deeper since the day I married him. But it has taken years of walking through “for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health” together to get to where I am in my love for him today. And if God blesses us with more years together, my love for my husband will continue to grow beyond where it is today.

It’s the same way with your love for Christ. Developing a deep, mature love for Him doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time. There are going to be “for better” days and “for worse” days, but if you continue walking with Him – studying His Word, praying, investing your life in the church, remembering all He has done for you, and being thankful – over the years, your love for Christ will continue to grow and grow.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: MLM-ing Essential Oils at Church

Michelle Lesley

Originally published March 26, 2018

Our church has recently had a visitor come who is now promoting essential oils to the women who are flocking to a class she is having in one of their homes. This makes me very uncomfortable as it appears (to me) that she has visited to increase her MLM [multi-level marketing] customer base while touting medicinal cures via essential oils. Do you have any research on this?

Sounds like a multi-level mess! There are several different issues going on here, so let’s dig in…

Cold-calling at church
Um, no. I mean… OK, I’m just going to go there. Have you no shame? Have you no home training? I don’t care how much of a go-getter saleswoman you are, there are some lines you just don’t cross. And I can’t believe I’m actually having to explain to grown up, adult people that you don’t go church hopping to make sales and recruit people to work for you. What’s next, showing up at funerals to sell Avon? Pampered Chef demonstrations at wedding receptions?

Church is the place where a local body of Believers gathers to worship the almighty God of the universe. How dare anyone sully the Bride of Christ it by making it something as low and common as a networking site for her business! If you are visiting a church, you should be doing so to worship, not for any other reason. Jesus made that really clear.

Depending on how blatant, intrusive, and disruptive the visitor’s behavior at your church is, someone – preferably one of the women in the class that the visitor is close to, but if not, possibly an elder or the pastor – may need to pull her aside and firmly, yet lovingly, explain that she is welcome to come to church to worship, but not to hustle.

Multi-Level Members
The reader who sent in the question asked about someone who’s visiting her church, but I want to take a moment to speak to you ladies who are MLM-ing your own church.

Your fellow church members might be uncomfortable telling you this, so I’m going to do so on their behalf: Some of you are going too far and being too pushy with your businesses. And you’re putting your brothers and sisters in the no-win situation of either having to acquiesce to the pressure you’re putting on them or hurt your feelings by telling you no.

It’s certainly fine to tell people at church what your job is when they ask, but leave the ball in their court:

“What do you do?”

“I’m an independent sales consultant for Fancy Widgets.”

“Oh? That sounds great!”

“Yeah, it’s an awesome company. I love it! If you’d ever be interested in working with us or adding to your widget collection, just let me know. Want some coffee?”

And don’t bring it up again. She knows you’re her Fancy Widgets connection. If she wants something, she’ll find you.

If you leave it at that and you end up having a few people at church who want to order from you, it’s certainly OK to discreetly take orders from them or bring their products to them at church after services are over. It’s fine for people to approach you about your business, but don’t repeatedly ask people at church to host parties, invite people from church to parties others are hosting for you, attempt to recruit people, or push products. That’s a distraction from worship and fellowship, it gets on people’s nerves, and it will eventually end up alienating your church family.

Scientifically proven?
I don’t have much experience with essential oils, but it’s my understanding that some essential oils can help alleviate the symptoms of some ailments in some people. In other words, peppermint oil may work wonders on your migraine, but do nothing for mine. As long as the limits of the powers of the essential oils are made clear along with the potential benefits, there’s no problem. If the visitor is making snake oil-type promises that the essential oils don’t deliver on, that’s lying and she needs to be confronted about it. If it gets to that point, you need to let your pastor or elders know what’s going on in case she doesn’t stop and one of them ends up having to deal with her.

Essential Oils and New Age Spirituality
Some (not all) essential oils companies claim that their oils will bring about spiritual benefits in addition to (or instead of) physiological benefits. While it’s fine to say that a little lavender oil in your bath will help relax you, saying that it will balance your chakras or yin your yang or bring you inner peace and confidence or whatever is crossing the line into unbiblical (usually New Age) spirituality. No Christian should have anything to do with buying or selling such essential oils. If there’s someone in your church who’s promoting a company like that at church, that’s a church discipline issue, because she’s introducing false doctrine into the church.

Marcia Montenegro over at Christian Answers for the New Age has published numerous posts on the problems with New Age spirituality and essential oils.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.