April 2024 – Michelle Lesley

Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.

Did any women write any part of the Bible?

Nope. No women authored any of the books of the Bible. The main reason for this is God’s established pattern of male headship and leadership. (Additionally, women were largely illiterate at that time in history.) Because of this, we have no reason to believe that any parts or passages of any books of the Bible were written by women.

We have passages like the song of Miriam, the song of Deborah and Barak, and the Magnificat, but these wouldn’t be considered “writing part of the Bible”. They were almost certainly spontaneous songs, which the male writers of those books recorded in Scripture.

Who were the authors of the books of the Bible? at GotQuestions

If you are at work and others are constantly saying “OH MY G-D!” would you say something? It hurts my heart! It has become such a common thing, making God so disrespected.

I get it. I physically wince every time I hear it, myself.

Since this is your work environment rather than your church or a situation with family or friends, I would suggest getting some counsel from your pastor or a spiritually mature friend about how to handle this situation. It really depends on the dynamics of your workplace and your relationship with your boss and co-workers.

If you’re good friends with the people who are doing this, you may be able to take them aside and gently request that they try not to say this around you. If you have a more distant relationship with them, they’re probably not going to take too kindly to your request, and it could strain the already tenuous relationship you have with them, creating a work environment that’s even more uncomfortable for you.

Bear in mind that the most likely reason they’re saying this is because they’re lost. Lost people do lost people things. They’re not concerned about obeying Scripture, and they’ll be offended and resentful if you ask them to. If, after talking to your pastor about the situation, you feel it would be best not to speak up, perhaps you could use every occasion when they say this as a reminder to say a quick prayer for them and their salvation.

Listen to Cussing, Profanity, and OMG at A Word Fitly Spoken

Since I have been following your ministry, I have been trying to be a Berean in what I hear, read, and watch. But the more discerning I become, the more alone I feel I am!! Friends that I have for years thought were solid in their faith, love The Message, Jesus Calling, The Chosen, go to Bible Studies by either false teachers or at the very least not recommended teachers, and dismiss me when I give them resources that speak the truth about these things!! What in the world???!!

My question is, could I be too far discerning? Should I be more open to hear what they have to say? Should I too be willing to read The Message or watch The Chosen? I am really feeling alone and like I’m missing something! What’s wrong with me Michelle?!!

Thank you for listening to me. I wonder if others have felt this way too.

Nothing is wrong with you, honey. Everything is right with you. You’re growing in maturity in Christ, in discernment, and in your knowledge of the Word. And one of the “growing pains” we go through as Christ sanctifies us is the realization that when Jesus said…

Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.
Matthew 7:13-14

…He meant it. And He meant it far more than we realized the first time we read that passage. Few find the narrow gate. Some of the people we thought – due to our own lack of spiritual maturity – were Christians, suddenly aren’t. We just didn’t know it before.

This is, of course, not to say that anyone who’s ever watched an episode of The Chosen is on the express train to Hell, or that thinking Jesus Calling is awesome right now necessarily means you’re a false convert.

Remember, every genuinely born again person is being sanctified by Christ. And just because you’re not at my level of discernment yet doesn’t mean you’re not saved. And just because I’m not at your level of patience yet doesn’t mean I’m not saved. None of us are at Christ’s level of any of those things, and we won’t be, this side of Glory. God is working on each of us, at His own pace, in the area(s) He sees fit, at this moment in time.

Rather than looking at the trees of someone’s life, it can be more helpful to zoom out and look at the forest. Is she on a general trajectory of growing more Christlike, more holy, more obedient, more understanding of the Word? Or, over a substantial period of time, is she on a general trajectory of increasing disobedience to Scripture, decreasing faithfulness to the church, a worldview that’s getting less and less biblical? It’s a more accurate barometer of someone’s overall spiritual state than whether she’s spent the last couple of weeks going gaga over The Message.

Could you be too discerning? No. That’s like asking if you could be too loving, too peaceful, too gifted at teaching, or too gifted at serving.

Should you be more open to hear what they have to say? No. That is, if by “open” you mean “Should I consider doing or believing things that conflict with Scripture?”. Of course not.

But being a good listener when your friend is going on and on about the new Beth Moore study she’s attending can help a lot, because it can help you to ask her good questions. Like, “Wow, I never heard that before! Where does Scripture say that?” or “Interesting! Could we look at that passage in context together?” And the same goes for reading that heretical book or watching that blasphemous movie or TV show. If you’re mature and discerning enough not to be swayed by it, you can use what you observe to start a good discussion and teach her what the Bible really says. So yes, being more open to listening and understanding is much more valuable than the knee jerk NOOOOOOOO!!! STOPPPPPP!!! reaction we discernment-world folks can be tempted to.

Have others felt this way too? Yep. You’re looking at one. Most people with even moderate discernment feel this way at least occasionally. And I can’t tell you how many emails I’ve received from women grieved over the fact that they’re “the only discerning person in my church!”.

It’s no fun. It can be lonely. You might even need to change churches. But you’re in good company with the rest of us discernment weirdos out here, and you’re always in good company with Jesus.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: You can’t always get what you want, but Jesus is all you need.

April 23, 2024April 20, 2024 Michelle Lesley

I found this article because I am a Christian single 37 year old woman. I have yet to meet a man that would be a suitable partner. And by that I mean everyone I’ve dated over the last two decades has shown major red flags I can not in good conscience ignore. Impossibly entitled/self oriented, pushing for sex without commitment/marriage, all taking no giving, general apathy, not marriage minded, secret addiction issues… You name it. I’ve seen it. And as soon as I do see it I don’t stick around long. I really have done everything I can think of and stayed out of trouble.

In any case, the church has no great answers for single women who are running out of time and followed all the rules so to speak. What is life even supposed to look like without a family… without a husband? Are we to marry bad men if good ones aren’t available? Are we to forgo the joys and meaning of rearing our children and creating life? The highest and most sacred calling the church asks of women? I feel quite powerless, and I’m beginning to get twinges of resentment towards men in general for failing me and many other great women. All the families and children that will never be. Life’s natural and beautiful progressions and chapters cannot take place without a good husband. The enormity of the grief I’m beginning to feel if I don’t meet someone in time is beyond comprehension. If you were to get a call one day and learn your husband and children all died… It’s like that. Except you didn’t even get to have any time with them in your life at all. Let that sink in before you judge or talk someone out of making the best out of a less than ideal situation to make a family. Get mad at the men. No one wants to do it alone. I’m sure this wasn’t her preferred plan. Or start speaking to what God’s plan is for single women. Cause mathematically there’s more single Christian ladies than single men and this outcome is quite inevitable and predictable. Yet the church stays quiet or rails on about getting married which causes a great silent pain in many hearts like mine… To whom shall I marry?

My dear sister, my heart goes out to you in your pain. Although I felt much the same way before I met my husband, I was much younger than you are, and I was not single as long as you have been. So, I won’t say I know how you feel, because I don’t. But I do sympathize. I understand that your pain is very real, and though I wish there were something I could do to alleviate it, I can’t.

But Jesus can.

I don’t mean that in some trite, Pollyanna way. I mean that in the way Scripture means it. You must find your contentment, your completeness, your satisfaction, in Christ, despite your circumstances. And that goes for all of us, because all of us suffer in one way or another. So let’s all take a look at God’s way of working through these types of difficult situations.

You must find your contentment, your completeness, your satisfaction, in Christ, *despite* your circumstances.
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You must be born again.

I’m not accusing you of not being a Christian because of your question or the way you expressed yourself. But I don’t know you. And on the internet: anyone can claim to be anything, a lot of people don’t have a biblical definition of the word “Christian,” and there are a lot of false converts out there. So I never assume that someone who says she’s a Christian has actually been born again. Besides that, I just like sharing the gospel.

If, for some reason, you (or anyone reading this) have never heard the biblical gospel and responded to it in repentance and faith in Christ, you must do that today. Immediately. Your eternity is at stake. Additionally, you will never find the peace and contentment you seek if you are not in Christ.

Click on the What must I do to be saved? tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page, and prayerfully work your way through it. When you get finished with that, work through my Bible study on assurance: Am I Really Saved? A First John Check Up.

Become a faithful, active, member of a doctrinally sound local church.

Not just any church. A doctrinally sound church.

If I had to guess from some of the thoughts and phraseology in your comment, I would guess you’re either not in church right now or not in a doctrinally sound church. Why?

In a doctrinally sound church, you don’t find that “everyone” of the single men are “impossibly entitled/self oriented, pushing for sex without commitment/marriage, all taking no giving, general apathy, not marriage minded, secret addiction issues…”. Generally speaking, men like that aren’t saved and don’t hang around doctrinally sound churches.

Additionally, if you were in a doctrinally sound church, you would have been taught and discipled not to date men like that because they’re most likely not saved, and Scripture commands you not to be unequally yoked in marriage with an unbeliever.

Furthermore, this: Let that sink in before you judge or talk someone out of making the best out of a less than ideal situation to make a family. Get mad at the men... is patently unbiblical. I realize you may have just been venting and didn’t really mean it, but you did not learn this line of thinking in a doctrinally sound church. This is pragmatism and bitterness. Christians do not “make the best out of” anything by sinning. Christians obey God even when their flesh wants to do something else. And my telling a Christian that is not “judging,” it’s biblical instruction.

You need to immerse yourself in a doctrinally sound local church immediately.

I want to be very clear that I am not telling you to join a good church in order to catch a good husband (although you certainly have a much better chance of that if you’re in a good church).

I’m telling you to join a good church a) because it is every Christian’s obligation and privilege to be joined to a doctrinally sound church, and b) because a solid church will train you, help you, encourage you to learn to be content in Christ, and will comfort you in your pain when you’re having a rough day.

Click on Searching for a new church? in the blue menu bar at the top of this page. If you’re already a member of a church, start reading the resources in the What to look for in a church section, and see if your church matches up. If it doesn’t, or if you’re currently disobeying God’s command not to forsake the assembly, repent and scroll back up to the church search engines section. (I’d recommend starting with Founders first, then G3, then The Master’s Seminary, then the others.)

Pursue Christ, not a husband.

…The highest and most sacred calling the church asks of women?

The highest and most sacred calling a doctrinally sound church will call women and men to is to pursue Christ. For a church or an individual to put anything ahead of pursuing Christ is idolatry.

I know what you’re going through grieves you, but you’re going to be even more miserable if you continually focus on what you don’t have – a husband and children – than what you do have as a Believer – Christ. Discontent – in any circumstance – only makes things worse. Believe me, I’ve been there.

You’re going to be even more miserable if you continually focus on what you don’t have -a husband and children- than what you do have as a Believer- Christ. Discontent -in any circumstance- only makes things worse.
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Focus your life on pursuing Christ. Get up every day and study the Word. Spend copious amounts of time in prayer. Faithfully attend and serve your church. Share the gospel. Disciple younger women. Be consumed with Christ and you won’t be consumed by discontent.

Be consumed with Christ and you won’t be consumed by discontent.
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RSVP to the Pity Party:
☑️ Will Not Attend

Brace yourself. It’s time for a little tough love. For all of us:

Suck it up, buttercup. Yes, your suffering is real and not unimportant. Yes, it’s excruciating at times. But nowhere in Scripture will you find God saying that self-pity is a godly pastime. And you’re not the only one out there who’s suffering. Look to Christ. He suffered far more than any of us, yet He didn’t feel sorry for Himself. In His season of greatest suffering, He served.

…Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.

Therefore, let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.

1 Peter 2:21b-23, 4:19

Recently, I was reading several related psalms, and I noticed the repeated phrase, “I will lift up my eyes”. Stop the narcissistic navel gazing and lift your eyes up to Christ crucified for your sins, raised for your justification, ascended into Heaven, and seated at the right hand of God. And then look around you at the people He would have you serve, following in His steps.

Self-pity leads to bitterness. Just say no.

You can’t always get what you want.

We all have to face up to the fact that just because we want something doesn’t mean that’s what God wants for us. You may never get married. Some women are unable to bear children. I have a friend who has been disabled all his life. There are lots of things he wanted to be able to do, physically, that he’s never been able to do. I have another friend who will never have grandchildren because of the choices her children have made. God is denying me something in my own life right now -maybe permanently- and it’s extraordinarily painful.

We all have to face up to the fact that just because we want something doesn’t mean that’s what God wants for us. And He is still good.
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And He is still good. Everything He does in our lives is for His glory and our good. He knows what’s best for us. The question is,

will we submit to what He wants rather than insisting on what we want?
will we trust that He knows, far better than we do, what’s best for us?
do we want Him more than we want that thing we’re so desperate for?

Being a Christian means surrendering everything we are, and everything we want, to Christ to do with as He pleases. What do we get in return? We get Him. And He is far more than enough.

Being a Christian means surrendering everything we are, and everything we want, to Christ to do with as He pleases. What do we get in return? We get Him. And He is far more than enough.
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Let’s get specific…

What is life even supposed to look like without a family… without a husband?

It is supposed to look like a godly single woman pursuing Christ, being content in Christ, and loving and serving her family, friends, and church.

Are we to marry bad men if good ones aren’t available?

Of course not. Even pagans know better than that, and certainly no doctrinally sound Christian or church would suggest such a thing, especially when the Bible commands otherwise.

Are we to forgo the joys and meaning of rearing our children and creating life?

Yes. If God doesn’t see fit for you to marry, you are absolutely to forgo those joys and meanings. You are to joyfully open your hand, let go, and sacrifice those things to Him knowing that He has something different for your life. Something that will bring more glory to Him and will consequently be better for you.

I’m beginning to get twinges of resentment towards men in general for failing me and many other great women.

Stop that right now. That is, indeed, sinful resentment. Repent of that. You also need to examine your heart and consider whether or not your desire for marriage has risen to the level of coveteousness. Demanding, idolizing, and fretting over something God has told you “no” about right now is coveting. If that’s what’s happening, repent.

“Men in general” have not failed you or anyone else. Stop blaming them. God is sovereign over every atom of this universe. If He wanted you to be married right now, you would be.

All the families and children that will never be.

There are precisely the number of families and children God wants there to be. God decides that, not people.

Life’s natural and beautiful progressions and chapters cannot take place without a good husband.

No, marriage’s natural and beautiful progressions and chapters cannot take place without a good husband. Just because you don’t have a husband doesn’t mean you don’t have a life. You have a life that, right now, is to be lived for the glory of God as a single woman. And that life is not devoid of beauty. God don’t make ugly, honey.

The enormity of the grief I’m beginning to feel if I don’t meet someone in time is beyond comprehension.

Yes, your grief is valid and real. It is also to come under the lordship of Christ and not consume you. When grief overwhelms you, praise Him. Worship Him. Thank Him. Remember His promises. Ask Him to get that grief under control and put it where it belongs: at His nail-pierced feet.

Ask God to get that grief under control and put it where it belongs: at His nail-pierced feet.
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I would encourage you to read through and pray through the Psalms, especially the ones in which the psalmist cries out to God in the dark night of his soul. Nearly all of them end with him praising God. And so many of those psalms, and others, encourage us to “wait upon the Lord”.

Waiting upon the Lord is not running ten miles down the road from what He’s currently doing in your life and hollering after Him to hurry up and catch up with you, while you impatiently tap your foot and drum your fingers. Waiting upon the Lord is what we see Israel doing during their forty years in the wilderness. When the pillar of cloud set out, they would follow it to their next destination. When it stopped, they set up camp and waited for it to move again. A day. A couple of weeks. A few months. Whatever length of time it took.

“In time” is God’s time. Trusting Him includes trusting His timing.

Trusting God includes trusting His timing.
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If you were to get a call one day and learn your husband and children all died… It’s like that. Except you didn’t even get to have any time with them in your life at all.

It’s nothing like that. Refusing to be content in Christ in the season of life in which He has currently placed you is not comparable to grieving the loss of my husband and children. Now, if, after I had lost them, I refused to be content in that new season of my life, that would be comparable.

Let that sink in before you judge or talk someone out of making the best out of a less than ideal situation to make a family.

Again, this is not biblical. You are speaking from fleshly grief and self pity, not from the mind of Christ or the Word of God. You’re lashing out at me because you’re hurting.

When I tell someone that the Bible says something is sin and she can’t do it, I’m not offering my biased, subjective personal opinion and pragmatic advice, nor am I “judging” her. I’m telling her what God says because I love her.

You can’t make the best out of a bad situation by sinning. You can only make the best out of a bad situation by obeying God’s Word. Sinning just makes a bad situation worse.

You can’t make the best out of a bad situation by sinning. You can only make the best out of a bad situation by obeying God’s Word. Sinning just makes a bad situation worse.
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Get mad at the men.

No. It is not “the men’s” fault that you’re single or that the woman in the IVF article defied God’s plan for the family or chose to abuse a child by intentionally denying him a father. Stop blaming other people for the season of life God has sovereignly put you in, bow the knee to Him, and find your contentment in Christ.

No one wants to do it alone. I’m sure this wasn’t her preferred plan.

Is that what she’s going to say when she stands before God on Judgment Day? “So what if I defied You? I didn’t want to do it alone. This wasn’t my preferred plan.”.

This is pragmatism and excuse making.

Or start speaking to what God’s plan is for single women.

Honey, I’m one of the few doctrinally sound voices out there who is speaking to what God’s plan is for single women. And married women. And divorced women. And widowed women. And childless women. And women with children. And disabled women. And able bodied women. And women who stay home. And women who work outside the home. And…

Single women aren’t a special class of Christian, and neither are any of the other categories I just named. God’s plan for all of us is to wake up every day and live in obedience to His Word in whatever circumstances He has sovereignly placed us in. Period. That’s God’s plan for you, single woman.

And furthermore, I did speak specifically to what God’s plan was for the single woman in the IVF article and you didn’t like it. You accused me of being unsympathetic and judgmental. You can’t have it both ways.

Cause mathematically there’s more single Christian ladies than single men and this outcome is quite inevitable and predictable.

Sin. God’s will. Obedience to Scripture. None of these things are determined by statistics, by the ends justifying the means, or by pragmatism. They’re determined by God’s written Word.

Yet the church stays quiet or rails on about getting married which causes a great silent pain in many hearts like mine.

Forget what “the church” is or isn’t doing. You don’t have to listen to “the church,” you only need to concern yourself with your church. If your church is either unbiblically staying quiet or unbiblically railing on about getting married, talk to your pastor about your concerns and, if nothing changes, find a doctrinally sound church.

If your church is teaching biblically about marriage, you’re the one who needs to change. Ask God to help you. Stay in the Word and in prayer. Set up an appointment for counsel with your pastor. Find a godly older woman in your church – preferably one who’s single, if possible – to disciple you.

If you’re currently forsaking the assembly, sweep around your own front door, stop blaming “the church,” repent, and join a doctrinally sound church.

To whom shall I marry?

You’re asking the wrong question. Stop coveting a husband and start asking God how you can bloom where He has planted you. How you can glorify Him by submitting your will to His. How you can honor Him by your obedience to Scripture.

God never promised us a bed of roses on this earth. He told us to count the cost.

Now let’s all pick up our crosses and get moving. There’s Kingdom work to be done.

Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him.

1 Corinthians 7:17a

Speaking Engagements

Report Back: Women Thinking Wisely Conference 2024

April 18, 2024April 17, 2024 Michelle Lesley

I still have several 2024 dates available for conferences, retreats, and events, especially this summer! There’s plenty of time to plan, and I’d love to come share with the ladies of your church or organization. Click here for more information, or to find an upcoming event near you!

This year’s theme centered around bees and honey,
for example, the verses listed above, Psalm 119:103, 19:10, etc.

I had such a sweet time of fellowship and sharing with the ladies of Greenwich, Ohio, and the surrounding area at The Ripley Church’s Women Thinking Wisely conference. I was honored to be asked back after last year’s conference, and it was great to see so many of the ladies back again.

Friday, I flew in to Cincinnati and was met by the lovely Emily, who whisked me off to The Ripley Church for dinner with the planning committee. Bonnie, the conference coordinator must have remembered that I enjoyed these Greenwich area specialties so much last year, and served them again this year. What a memory and what a treat!

The planning committee also blessed me with this adorable hostess gift that went right along with the bee/honey theme. Can you “bee”t that?🐝🍯

After enjoying a night of Jennie and Bob’s warm hospitality in their cozy and welcoming home, Saturday morning, we were off to the church for the conference.

The ladies were welcomed into a charmingly decorated environment and greeted with coffee and refreshments. In keeping with the theme, each of the ladies was given a small jar of local honey from Bonnie’s hive to take home. We will all remember the sweetness of this conference with every taste for some time to come!

Next, it was time to move into the sanctuary for the main event! Bonnie got things kicked off with opening remarks and hymn singing, and Pastor Eric led us in prayer.

Our first teaching session was Hospitality: Welcoming Others as Christ Welcomes Us. Hospitality doesn’t mean having twelve people over for a fancy dinner on fine china. It’s a posture of heart that welcomes others in because Christ first welcomed us.

We got a nice break and snack time after our first session. Just look at these colorful and healthy veggie cups!

Next up was session 2: Suffering. We explored Jesus as our hero in suffering, the hope in our suffering, and ways to biblically handle our suffering.

Lunch time! A sweet time of fellowship was had by all as we dined on salad, a choice of hearty soups, and Texas sheet cake.

Full and satisfied, we headed back into the sanctuary for our final session: Sweet Hour of Prayer. We talked about how to pray biblically, unbiblical ideas about prayer to avoid, practical tips for prayer, and then … we prayed.

Before Deb and Ken took me to the airport to catch my flight home, there was just enough time for one of my favorite parts of events: meeting, chatting with, and taking pictures with the ladies.

It was such a fantastic weekend with the ladies of The Ripley Church. Thanks so much to Bonnie, Bob and Jennie, Emily, Jana, Eric, Deb and Ken, Seth, and all the other brothers and sisters of TRC for making me feel right at home and working so hard to host a fantastic conference. If you’re ever in the area and need a good church to visit, make plans to spend the Lord’s Day with these wonderful brothers and sisters.

If your church or organization is ever in need of a speaker for a women’s event, I’d love to come share with your ladies as well. Click here for more information, or to find an upcoming event near you!

Photo Credits

Several of these photos were taken and contributed by conference attendees. You may assume that if they are good quality, or if I’m in them, that I didn’t take them. All other photos by Michelle Lesley.

Faith

Wayback Wednesday ~ Risky Business

April 17, 2024April 16, 2024 Michelle Lesley

Originally published January 29, 2016

Recently, I’ve been hearing a lot of preachers and divangelistas out there teaching that Christians have to constantly take “risks” as proof that we’re growing in Christ, that we have to perform acts of faith that take us outside of our comfort zone, that we have to dare to attempt things that could never be done without God’s direct, miraculous intervention or empowerment.

Well, I’d like to challenge all the proponents of that teaching to take a risk that (I hope) won’t be out of their comfort zone and doesn’t require any miraculous intervention from God:

Find the prescriptive passage of Scripture, chapter and verse, in context, rightly divided, that teaches this “risk doctrine”.

Because I don’t see it.

I see 1 Thessalonians 4:9-11 exhorting us to love the brethren, live quietly, work with our own hands, and walk wisely before outsiders.

I see Titus 2:1-10 telling Christian men and women to learn to be, and teach others to be, submissive, self-controlled, loving, reverent, and kind.

I see the book of 1 John saying that salvation is evidenced by loving Christ, obeying God’s word, shunning worldliness, and confessing our sin.

I don’t see a single Bible character deciding “Hmmm…I’d better come up with some kind of daring deed to do to prove my faith.”

I don’t see a single Bible character deciding “Hmmm…I’d better come up with some kind of daring deed to do to prove my faith.”
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Moses was minding his own business tending sheep when God spoke to Him from the burning bush and called on him to confront Pharaoh and lead Israel out of Egypt. Moses’ response? “Send somebody else.”

David wanted to do a great thing for the Lord by building the temple, and God said no.

Paul and the apostles simply obeyed God’s command to preach the gospel. Their earthly reward? Persecution and martyrdom.

Sometimes, as we walk in daily obedience to God’s word, situations will arise that are scary. Circumstances in which we must trust Scripture over our experiences. Life events that require us to obey God’s word even if we lose a job or a friend. Times when we have to believe that God is doing what is best even if it isn’t the outcome we wanted. That’s not a risk; that’s walking in faith and obedience, depending on Christ to carry us through whatever He places in our path.

But the Bible doesn’t say anywhere that we have to prove our faith or growth in Christ by proactively coming up with some big, fat, hairy risk to take, stepping outside of our comfort zone, and daring to do what can only be done by the power of God.

The Bible doesn’t say anywhere that we have to prove our faith or growth in Christ by proactively coming up with some big, fat, hairy risk to take.
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In fact, that kind of thing sounds eerily similar to what Satan tempted Jesus to do. Among other things, Satan tempted Jesus to prove Himself by literally “stepping out on faith” – right off the top of the temple – and trusting God to catch Him. And what did Jesus do? He went straight to God’s word and obeyed it by saying no. “You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.” It didn’t work that way for Jesus, and it doesn’t work that way for us.

The Bible teaches us to act in wisdom, to walk in obedience to Scripture, to trust God even when it’s scary or inconvenient or counter-intuitive. But for a pastor or teacher to say that Christians have to commit acts of derring-do as proof of our faith or level of growth?

That’s risky business.

For a pastor or teacher to say that Christians have to commit acts of derring-do as proof of our faith or level of growth? *That’s* risky business.
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The Mailbag: Salvation and the Mentally Challenged

April 16, 2024April 15, 2024 Michelle Lesley

Originally published March 29, 2021

I have a question about people who have “simple minds”. Those who have a lack of comprehension or are slow thinkers. My son is trying to understand salvation but he is slower in thinking than others. He has learning disabilities that keep him a few years behind others his age. I’m learning to not fear and to trust Christ with his salvation but I’m wondering how I can know he is saved or what God’s word says of those with simple minds.

I think you’ve answered your own question with some very godly wisdom: don’t fear, and trust Christ with your son’s salvation. Don’t discount that wisdom God has given you, because, ultimately, that is your answer. Once we’ve shared the gospel, that’s really all any of us can do regarding the spiritual state of any friend or loved one regardless of mental capacity: Fear not. Trust Christ.

How can you know he’s saved with 100% certainty? You can’t. Just like none of us can know that another person is saved, because we can’t see that person’s heart. The only person I can know is saved, without a shadow of a doubt, is me.

If you’re married, have you and your husband discussed all of this thoroughly? If he is a Believer, he probably has some helpful insights and perspectives to offer. And, do remember, he is the spiritual leader of your home.

I would encourage you (and your husband, if you’re married) to set up an appointment with your pastor – with or without your son, depending on what your pastor suggests – to talk things out and get his wise counsel on the best ways to keep the gospel in front of your son’s eyes.

In the meantime, keep praying for – and with – your son (and that God will help you entrust your son to Him), keep teaching him the Bible, and keep taking him to church. Remember, you are only responsible for pouring the gospel into your son. It’s God’s responsibility to take what you’ve shared and do something with it in your son’s heart.

The Bible doesn’t, as far as I can recall, speak specifically to the cognitive capacity for faith of people who have “simple minds”. Some readers have probably already called to mind the childlike faith passages in the gospels, but Jesus was speaking to the quality of our faith in these passages, not to childlike cognition.

But do keep your mind on Scripture. When you’re tempted to worry, remember who God is. Remember His nature and character:

This is a God who doesn’t even take pleasure in the death of the wicked. A God who patiently bore with Israel’s sin and idolatry for centuries before executing judgment on them. A God who loved sinners so much that He sacrificed His only Son for us while we were still His enemies. A God who describes Himself as being rich in mercy. A God we see throughout Scripture caring for “the least of these” – Hagar, Mephibosheth, Bartimaeus, widows and orphans, the blind, the deaf, the crippled, the leper, the outcast.

Is this a God who would flippantly or casually damn your son to an eternity in Hell based solely on his cognitive disabilities? Does that seem to be in keeping with His nature and character?

Also remember God as Creator. God specially crafted your son the way he is in His image and for His glory just like everyone else He created. Your son’s disabilities are not a mistake or an oversight on God’s part. They are meant to bring glory to Him. Neither you nor he may fully understand how on this side of Heaven, but God does, and that’s all that matters.

And as the One who designed your son’s mind, there is no one who understands how it works, how it comprehends things, better than God does. The Holy Spirit knows how to take that gospel you’ve imparted to your son and explain it to his heart and mind in the absolute best way for your son. A way that’s specially designed uniquely for him by his Creator. Consider these passages as you think about that:

For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
Psalm 139:13-16

As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
For he knows our frame;
he remembers that we are dust.
Psalm 103:13-14

But Moses said to the Lord, “Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue.” Then the Lord said to him, “Who has made man’s mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.”
Exodus 4:10-12

Finally remember that God knows your son’s heart and as the just judge of all the universe – Whom we’ve already established is rich in mercy – the only decision God can make regarding your son’s salvation and eternity is the right decision, whatever that might be. God knows the capabilities of your son’s heart and mind better than anyone. He knows whether your son is believing on Christ in his heart or rebelliously rejecting Christ in his heart.

For the Lord sees not as man sees:
man looks on the outward appearance,
but the Lord looks on the heart.”
1Samuel16:7b

I the Lord search the heart
and test the mind,
to give every man according to his ways,
according to the fruit of his deeds.
Jeremiah 17:10

Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!
Psalm 139:23-24

As moms, we often desperately want to find a way to make the “decision” for our children to place their faith in Christ for salvation because we love them and we know that’s what’s best for them. But we can’t. I can’t do it for my child any more than you can do it for your child, disability or no disability. That is between your child and Christ only.

And that brings us full circle to the answer God has already given you:

Don’t fear. Trust Christ with your son’s salvation