Welcome to another “potpourri” edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.
I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. I’m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!
Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.
I’ve been asked to teach a college/career Sunday School class. It’s couples that are married, some engaged. I would probably be able to co-teach with a man. Should I as a woman not be teaching that class since it has men and not really youth?
It’s really great that you’re giving this some thought and asking that question!
You’re correct – college aged young men are men, even if they are young. You should not be teaching them, your church is wrong for asking you to teach them, and your pastor is wrong for allowing women to teach men in your church. It isn’t just wrong for you, individually because you would be violating Scripture, it’s also wrong because, if you did it, you would be leading these young men to think that it’s OK for women to teach men. You would be teaching them by your actions that it’s OK to ignore or disobey any command of God that’s inconvenient or that we don’t like. (This is one of the reasons I also discourage women from teaching youth/teen boys.)
As far as “co-teaching” goes, it depends on what you and your church mean by that term. What the term “co-teaching” actually means is that you and another teacher(s) take turns teaching the class the Bible lesson. If that’s how you and your church are using that term, then, no, you shouldn’t be co-teaching. It doesn’t matter whether you’re teaching every week or every other week or once a month or whatever. You’re still teaching men the Bible, and that’s still a sin.
However, some churches/Christians will say that, for example, a husband and wife are “co-teaching” a Sunday School class when what they really mean is that the husband is doing all of the actual teaching and the wife is taking care of the administrative duties of the class like making the coffee, taking attendance, organizing fellowships, contacting those who have been absent, etc., but not doing any of the actual teaching. That is absolutely fine, but they need to stop calling it “co-teaching” – a) because it’s not, and b) because it leads others to believe they and their church are sinning when they’re actually not.
I would encourage you to give some thought and study to my Rock Your Role series of articles, starting with Jill in the Pulpit and Rock Your Role FAQs (start with #13), then make an appointment with your pastor to politely and kindly ask him why he’s allowing women to teach men in your church. If he brushes you off or tries to make you feel like the bad guy, it’s time to find a new, doctrinally sound church. Churches that allow or encourage women to teach men are just as much in sin as if they were allowing or encouraging church members to steal from the offering, or remain in a homosexual lifestyle, or if they taught that abortion is OK. No one should be joined to a church that’s in active, unrepentant sin.
Curious- Do you ever lose it? As in raise your voice and yell at someone who attacks you over doctrinal issues?
I don’t personally recall ever having lost it quite like that, but that has nothing to do with my stellar level of self control or personal holiness or anything like that. It has more to do with the fact that when I’m attacked, it’s virtually always online – social media, email, or blog comments – and virtually always by strangers. That affords me ways of dealing with the person or comment that aren’t feasible when you’re dealing with a friend or loved one in person.
I have gotten into a few exchanges on social media in which I was convicted that I crossed the line of anger or I squandered time in an argument that I should have stewarded better. In those cases, I’ve repented and asked the person’s forgiveness. And I’ve tried, since then to have a much stricter Matthew 7:6 policy.
The handful of times I’ve been attacked in person by someone I know, I was usually prepared because the meetings were pre-arranged for the specific purpose of excoriating me for standing on the truth of Scripture and decrying false teachers and false doctrine. I had my notes and thoughts in order and was prepared beforehand not to lose it.
The one or two times I’ve been spontaneously attacked in person by someone I know were relatively brief in duration, and I pretty much stood there in stunned silence with my mouth agape at the shock of a professing Christian acting that way. Even after all these years, I don’t think that’s something I’ll ever get used to.
So, to my recollection, no, I’ve never lost it like that in a similar situation, but mainly because I haven’t been in a similar situation.
I’m a co-leader of a women’s group at our church.. at first the other leader and I were on the same page.. no fluff. We are currently doing J.I. Packer’s book, Knowing God, and all I hear is, “It’s too hard!”. They all want fluff but 3 of us..How do I change their minds?… I’ve been praying on how to handle this. I can’t do fluff! They want Beth Moore type stuff. That is a hard pass for me. What should I do?
Atta girl! Fluff is not the answer, and we should always take a hard pass on false doctrine.
What should you do? You do exactly what you do with a toddler who only wants to keep eating candy rather than healthy food: You keep feeding her healthy food. You don’t give in to unbiblical, unhealthy childish whims. There’s not a single biblical passage that teaches us to coddle Christians in their immaturity. Scripture always instructs us to grow up.
That being said, we start babies on baby food, not steak. I haven’t read that particular book by Packer. Perhaps it is a little too tough for them, and the reason they’re suggesting “fluff” type authors and studies is that that’s all they know to suggest as an alternative.
Can I make a couple of suggestions? When you finish the Packer book (or, if you think it’s wiser, just discontinue it now)…
- Grab one of my Bible studies and take them through it. Maybe one of the shorter ones like Colossians or Ruth. All of my studies are free, so if it turns out not to be a fit, nobody has lost any money. Also, you know where your ladies are, maturity-wise, and you can simplify or skip any of the questions you think are too tough for them at this moment. You can tailor the study for the ladies of your particular church.
- If you absolutely have to do a book study rather than a Bible study, I would recommend my friend Allen Nelson’s book From Death to Life: How Salvation Works for two reasons: a) It’s a lot shorter, and probably simpler, too, than Packer’s book, and b) Often the reason women clamor after false teachers is because they’re not genuinely saved (John 10). This book is a wonderful, simple exposition of the gospel.
“Tough” and “fluff” aren’t your only two options. The key is to meet your ladies where they are, set the bar a little higher, and help them grow to maturity.
Why is Alistair Begg no longer listed at your Recommended Bible Teachers tab?
February 2024 UPDATE: Due to recent events, this section unfortunately became too lengthy and too much of a distraction to the rest of this article. I have explained why I removed Begg from my recommends and have gathered all of my information about him in one stand-alone article here.
If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
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Great article Michelle. Thank you for your well thought out and biblically rooted responses!
Kendra
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Thanks, Kendra! :0)
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I’m new in my Christian walk and blessed God is leading me to sound Biblical teachers and resources. Thank you
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Welcome my new sister in the Lord to the family of God.💗
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The missionary Allistair Begg mentions hearing speak at Urbana was not working in South America, but in the Philippines. I know her personally and was a colleague of hers for many years, and she has shared this story with my family over dinner. That story can also be found in her book,”And The Word Came With Power,” by Joanne Shetler.
Several years ago, we began to wrestle with our convictions regarding women Bible translators, particularly where there were no men leading the translation team. This meant that women were leading the teaching of the scriptures to any men who were part of the team, either during the translation process, or during “devotion” or “bible study” time – whether they were yet believers or not.Many teams were also partnering with and had in leadership roles local (mother tongue) translators from many churches that we would not deem to be true biblical churches (catholic, seventh day adventist, aglipayan, foursquare)… the organization fully endorsed female pastors and worked very closely with the catholic church in communities where catholicism was the majority religion.
We were exposed to reformed theology while in the Philippines and had the privilege of being in an amazing church with a sound expository preacher, where we learned much. As our understanding grew and our theology shifted, we made the very difficult decision to leave the organization we were serving with there after 20 (15 in the Philippines) years in ministry with them (we had other reasons, but this was the thing heaviest on our hearts).
Your blog was instrumental in bringing me to a place of questioning these things and seeking the truth biblically about what our mission was doing and by what methods. Thank you for all you do!
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Thank you for your kind words, Melissa. It is my joy to serve you in Christ.
I also disagree with his conclusions and answer about the female Bible translators teaching Scripture to native men. The answer is not, “It’s fine to compromise in that situation.” The answer is, “Why would any doctrinally sound translation organization send teams made up only of women into a situation like this in the first place?”. It not only puts the women in a biblical dilemma of teaching men, I would think it’s not very safe in a number of countries/cultures. No ministry should be sending any sort of women only team anywhere for anything.The teams need to be led by men. Problem solved.
Here’s a related article that might be of interest.
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> <>is there a source to substantiante this? On the church website there are archives of sermons by speakers and no women are on the list.
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Hi Robin- Are you asking if there’s a source to substantiate the fact that Begg had a woman speak in one of the Sunday morning services at his church? If so, yes. It’s the video in the section on Begg in the article.
“He has invited and permitted women to do this at his own church. This is unbiblical.
Listen as Begg explains in his own words in this sermon (starting around 30:12) on 1 Timothy 2:9-15b.”
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I am saddened to hear these things from Alistair Begg. I attended his church from 1987 to 1992. I also questioned having Alice Cooper give a testimony. I struggle with someone being born again and still touring like he does. Praying for Alistair!
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Thank you sister Michelle for this information on Alistair Begg. I had honesly thought he had pulled out of that conference with Beth Moore etc. when so many of us reached out to him. This is distressing indeed and I appreciate your diligence in keeping your sisters informed. I have added him to my prayer list for confession and repentance and will cease to listen to him until he does. God help us, it hurts to lose another sound teacher. But we must hold the things and people of this world lightly and the Word of God tightly because Yahweh is our guide, His Word is our plumbline. Thank you again. To God go all the glory!
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I have a question, please. Is it against 1 Timothy 2 for a woman to speak, not teach, during a Sunday morning worship service?
She is not speaking as to teach or preach or pastor, but simply speaking on a topic to a congregation of men and women about her experiences as the head of a pregnancy resource center on Sanctity of Life Sunday. You say that this is unbiblical?
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Yes, but not in the way you’re thinking. That’s less a 1 Timothy 2:12, “women preaching/teaching to men” issue than a 2 Timothy 4:1-2 “pastors, preach the Word” issue. Personal testimonies (from anyone) should not take the place of the preaching of the Word in the worship gathering. However, due to the ignorance of the world and the majority of professing Christians who cannot distinguish between personal testimonies and preaching, a woman giving a personal testimony that takes the place of the sermon appears to most people as though she is preaching the sermon, and we’re to avoid even the appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22), so that’s another biblical reason not to do it.
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Michelle, you are a member of a church who has a female “children’s minister”. Would this not be problematic belonging to a church where the Pastors have appointed a female to a “minister” position? Or do you find this to be different?
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Hi Kim- Which part of this article does your question relate to? I’m not seeing the connection.
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In your original article you say you can no longer recommend Alistair Begg for reasons outlined. You also won’t add churches to your recommended list if they have female pastors. (Which I completely agree with) I am confused because you belong to a church with a woman Childrens Minister. It seems like a double standard to me. I am not in any way agreeing with Begg’s choices in either of the situations you’ve written about on your blog, but by your own convictions on women in a Pastoral role in the church it would seem you may not apply them to your own church. Was just wondering if a woman Minister in a church is different than a “Pastor”? Or is it because she is a Children’s Minister that makes it ok? Truly just trying to understand in a biblical way if there is a difference and does using the title “Minister” with a woman make it ok? Thank you for replying.
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Thanks so much for clarifying and thanks for your question. It’s always good to ask and get any confusion cleared up.
Let me say from the outset that the lady who heads up the children’s programs at my church is a delightful, godly, humble woman who is phenomenal at her job. She does not function as a pastor or elder, nor does she bear the title of pastor or elder. No one in our church – including our pastors, she herself, or me – considers her to be a pastor or elder.
I have discussed her title with her and with my pastors for the very reasons in your comment. Most people use the terms “minister” and “pastor” interchangeably in the common vernacular, and this can lead to confusion (and my church and our children’s minister are so dear to my heart – I don’t want anyone jumping to even the tiniest wrong conclusion about them!).
However, the terms “minister” and “pastor” are not, in fact, biblically interchangeable. The titles we find in Scripture for the office only qualified men may hold (1 Timothy 2:11-3:7, Titus 1:5-9) are: overseer, bishop, pastor, and elder. “Minister” is not included in that list and can rightly refer to any Christian who ministers to others or works in a non-pastoral position of ministry, (however, the term minister can also refer to someone who functions as a pastor/elder (see 2 Cor 3:6)). This term refers to a range of Believers who are “performing” a certain action. More than a title, it is an action. Every believer in that sense is to be a minister. As Paul wrote, “God has given us (all believers) the ministry of reconciliation” (2 Cor 5:18). Thus, our church uses “title” more as a word that defines the specific action she is “performing.” Her act of service is directed toward children . So it is just as biblically OK for her to hold the title of Children’s Minister as it would be for me to hold the title of Women’s Minister if there were such a position at my church.
If I were king of the world, would I use the title “minister” for women? Probably not, but I’m not king of the world, I’m not the pastor of my church, and I’m also not right about everything. This is my pastors’ decision, I understand their position, and it’s perfectly in keeping with Scripture. My job as a church member is to trust them and submit to their biblical leadership.
I hope this helps clear things up. Trust me, if my church had a woman “pastor” of any kind, I wouldn’t be a member there. :0)
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Michelle, first off let me say thank you sooo much for the clarification and the very detailed answer you graciously took the time to pen. That certainly clears that up 100%! Thank you again for your charitable and kind reply. Appreciate your ministry very much!!
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Hi Kim- You are most welcome. It is my joy to serve you in Christ. I have to gush over my pastor a little bit. He took the time out of his schedule to read over my answer to you and add a few clarifying remarks. God has blessed me with an awesome pastor and church. :0)
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Just FYI, Packer’s book is excellent, about the themes in Christianity and the Bible, but it is pretty theologically “heavy”.
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