The Mailbag: Asked and Answered

Good Monday morning, readers. It is an honor and a joy to serve you in Christ. Welcome to all the newbies and to you seasoned veterans of the blog.

Because some of y’all are new, you aren’t yet aware of all of the resources here to help you. Or maybe you’ve been around a while and haven’t noticed something that might be helpful. Let’s remedy that!

First, if you’re new (or if you’ve never read it), check out Blog Orientation for New Readers and Old Friends. It’s like a Cliffs Notes intro to the blog.

Second, be sure to familiarize yourself with all of the tabs in the blue menu bar at the top of the page. That’s where I keep the info I’m most frequently asked about.

Third, there’s a search bar at the bottom of every page (and one in the blue menu bar at the top of every page) which might help you find what you need.

Fourth, if you don’t find your question answered in one of these ways or below, you might want to check previous Asked & Answered articles and The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs.

And finally, let me get you new readers some answers to the questions several of you have asked. Some of you long time friends may have missed these along the way, so I hope they’ll be helpful to you, too!

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What are your thoughts on TGC’s 2021 Women’s Conference? Should the ladies from my church attend / watch online?

I’m throwing this question in with this Asked & Answered article because it’s coming up soon and because, though I haven’t answered it in article form, I’ve been asked and have answered multiple times on social media. This is the first year women have been asking me whether or not they should attend, and I think that should give us all pause.

I am recommending against attending or viewing TGC’s (The Gospel Coalition) women’s conference for two reasons:

1. The two headline speakers this year are Jackie Hill-Perry and Jen Wilkin, neither of whom I would recommend. (Reformed / Calvinistic churches, I know a lot of y’all have parked your women’s Bible study classes exclusively on Jen Wilkin because you think she’s “safe,” but it’s time to take another look. Read the article linked to her name above.)
2. For the last several years, TGC has been moving more and more into the woke / social justice stream of evangelicalism. I’m not saying every single speaker at this year’s women’s conference is woke or into social justice, I’m just saying that’s the way the organization has been headed, so it would not be surprising if that kind of thing is espoused at the conference.

(And, not for nothing, but my goodness is it expensive!)

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The Lord has graciously opened my eyes to the fact that I was following several false teachers. Unfortunately, I have accumulated a large number of their books over the years. My question is what do I do with them now? Do I donate them? I was thinking of donating them to the MOPS ministry at my church.

Oh no, please don’t donate them to anyone. Check out section 3 of my article The Mailbag: Potpourri (Soul Ties, SBC Communion, Women in children’s ministry, Heretical book disposal) for some much better ways they can be put to use.

Amy and I also covered this question in our most recent episode of A Word Fitly Spoken.

(Also, if your church is hosting a MOPS group, your pastor needs to know that there are serious biblical problems with some in MOPS leadership and with their books/materials.)

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A lot of unbiblical things are happening at our church, but my husband seems oblivious. I want to leave and find a doctrinally sound church, but my husband wants to stay. What should I do?

I’m so sorry. I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. Sadly, I’ve received this question numerous times. Please see my article The Mailbag: My husband wants to stay at an unbiblical church.

And can I just say to all spouses – husbands and wives (because I’ve gotten this same question from husbands too) – if your spouse lovingly comes to you, Bible in hand, and says, “I’ve got some serious biblical issues with our church,” listen. Talk about it together. Pray about it.

And if the only reasons you’re insisting on staying at the old church are non-biblical issues like friends, fun, you’ve been there forty years and you’re comfortable, the preaching and the music are pleasant enough, you don’t want to start over meeting new people at a new church, it’s close to home, etc., can I encourage you to give some serious thought to dying to self and trying to find a new church your spouse won’t be miserable in?

If you insist – for superficial reasons – on staying somewhere your spouse – for good biblical reasons – is so uncomfortable in, you’re being selfish. Wives who do this aren’t submitting to their husbands’ spiritual leadership. Husbands who do this aren’t loving their wives or leading them in a God-honoring way. Love your spouse and put him or her first.

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I’m writing you in regards to your stance on the prohibition of women teaching men in reference to 1 Timothy 2 and did not find an adequate rebuttal in your FAQ document linked in several places on your website. I must respectfully disagree and gently request your consideration of the contextual and cultural cues of the time and in that specific circumstance in which it was written.

My stance on 1 Timothy 2 is to believe, obey, and teach obedience to plain, black and white, rightly handled Scripture. Women are prohibited from holding the office of pastor or elder, preaching to men, instructing men in the Scriptures, or exercising authority over men in the gathering of the church body because the Bible says so and means so, not because people are misinterpreting the Bible based on failing to understand the culture of Ephesus at the time.

First Timothy 2:11-3:7 does not say what it says because the Ephesian women were ignorant or disruptive or false teachers. It is a pastoral epistle, which means it is basically a “policy and procedure manual” for the local church – everywhere in the world at every point in history. The church has not been getting this wrong for 2000 years and, suddenly, we enlightened folk in 21st century Western culture are going to come along and set things straight.

This article should help: The Mailbag: Counter Arguments to Egalitarianism (and for readers not yet acquainted with what the Bible teaches about the biblical roles of men and women, I would encourage you to start by reading the articles linked in the “Additional Resources” section of that article).

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Could you please review John Piper?

Certainly:

The Mailbag: Celebrity Christian Hot Takes (Driscoll, Graham, Groeschel, Lewis, Lucado, Piper, Vallotton)

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I am looking for a new Bible. I was looking into the She Reads Truth Bible until I saw your article about the authors being associated with known false teachers. I am looking into The Jesus Bible and maybe the (In)Courage Bible but wanted to know your input on this. I really like the resources like maps, reading plans, and book intros in the SRT Bible. Do you have input on a good Bible with room to take notes and similar resources? Does one exist that doesn’t have input from those who follow false doctrine?

Yes, but The Jesus Bible (Louie Giglio and Max Lucado) and the (in)Courage Bible (Ann Voskamp, Chrystal Evans Hurst, Lauren Chandler, etc.) aren’t it. I would also not recommend the ESV Women’s Study Bible.

If you’re looking for a good study Bible you can’t do better than the MacArthur Study Bible. I also highly recommend the Faithlife Study Bible app (which is free). I’ve discussed both a little more (with links) here. If you have to compromise on something for a good study Bible, compromise on taking notes in the Bible. You can always get a separate journal or notebook for taking notes.

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I want to get baptized. Who is allowed to baptize? Can a woman baptize? Does the person have to believe in the same basic doctrines as I do (e.g. women shouldn’t preach to men or be leaders in church, homosexuality is a sin, you must believe in the full gospel to be saved etc.)?

I’m so glad you want to get baptized. Everyone who has confessed Christ as Savior should be baptized. I think my article Basic Training: Baptism will answer a lot of your questions (don’t forget the Additional Resources section at the end).

You may be able to infer the answer to your last question from the article, but in case you need a little clarity: Yes, you and the person baptizing you should be pretty much in agreement on doctrinal issues. Not because that’s what qualifies someone to baptize, but because baptism is an ordinance of the church, normally performed by the pastor or an elder of that church, and you should be baptized into a doctrinally sound church whose doctrine you agree with.

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My question is about women correcting or pointing out a false belief of Scripture or interpretation to men. Am I as a woman allowed to correct or advise a Christian brother if he is teaching/preaching or spreading something that’s not Biblically sound or correct?

Yes, with a couple of provisos.

First, since you mentioned you’re a new Christian, you need to be sure you are correct about what the Bible says on the issue and that he is definitely wrong. Study your Bible hard, see what doctrinally sound pastors and Christians you trust have to say about the issue, etc. As Davy Crockett once said, “Be always sure you are right, then go ahead.”

Next, be sure you keep the “golden rule” foremost in your mind. If someone had to approach you and tell you that you were wrong about something, how would you want to be approached? Treat the other person with the same love and care.

If possible, take the person aside privately to explain his error, maybe with another friend to support you. We have a great example of this in Acts 18 with Priscilla, Aquila, and Apollos.

If it’s in a group setting, such as a Bible study class, in which it’s not possible to wait until later to speak to the teacher alone about the false doctrine he has just taught, I’ve addressed that in #5 in my article Rock Your Role FAQs.

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If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.