Complementarianism

Putting on the “You Can!” of Complementarianism

It never really hit me until I started teaching the book of 1 Timothy how many instructions in the pastoral epistles pertain to women, and how weighty those instructions are. The pastoral epistles are the โ€œpolicy and procedure manualsโ€ for the church, and, far from relegating the ministry of women to nothing more than crafts and tea parties while the men do all the โ€œimportantโ€ stuff, you come away with the impression that a healthy, well-balanced church actually depends on godly women working hard to carry out the ministries that God has uniquely created and gifted us to fulfill, alongside men fulfilling their own ministries.

These epistles donโ€™t view โ€œwomanโ€™s workโ€ around the house of God as trivial or menial, but as a high and holy calling. Vital. Necessary. Honorable.

But is that the lofty perspective of the biblical role of women that the local complementarian church is conveying to its female and male members? Are we, especially those of us in womenโ€™s ministry, proactively teaching that the calling of motherhood or the task of discipling other women or serving those in need is qualitatively just as imperative and noble as the calling of pastor or elder?

Intentionally or not, the egalitarian movement has maneuvered biblical complementarians into constantly playing defense. Their offensive squad keeps moving the ball forward by offering women a no holds barred buffet of powerful and prestigious ministry positions. Our defensive line correctly and biblically pushes back with, โ€œNo, the Bible says women are not to โ€˜teach or to exercise authority over a manโ€™  in the church setting.โ€ But often, only two or three members of our offensive squad are dressed out to play, and they never get off the bench and into the game. And as any football fan knows, you have to have a good defense and a good offense if youโ€™re playing to win.

Egalitarians offer women โ€œyou can,โ€ but all too often all we complementarians have offered godly women yearning to serve is, โ€œyou canโ€™t.โ€ Where is the big, beautiful, biblical showcase of complementarian โ€œyou canโ€?

Not long ago, I was teaching a group of ladies the biblical process of putting off the old self and putting on the new self in Ephesians 4:20-32. We explored how interesting it was that every โ€œdonโ€™tโ€ in the passage was coupled with a โ€œdo.โ€ We donโ€™t just put off lying, we put on proactive truth-telling instead, and so on. Nature abhors a vacuum in the physical realm, and it would seem this is true in the spiritual realm as well. When we subtract the ungodly, we must replace it with the godly. If we donโ€™t, something will rush in to fill the void thatโ€™s been created, and that “something” isnโ€™t usually biblical or fruitful. 

So how can we shift the perspective in our churches from โ€œyou canโ€™tโ€ to โ€œyou can,โ€ and create an atmosphere, not merely of โ€œput off,โ€ but also โ€œput onโ€? How can we get our offensive team suited up, on the field, and moving the ball toward the goalpost while at the same time retaining a strong defense?

We can, so to speak, make complementarianism great again.ย 

As I studied 1 Timothy 5, I was struck by Paulโ€™s description of women who are โ€œtruly widows.โ€ These are women who have spent their lives being busy and intentional about the work of the Lord in their homes and in the church. They adorned themselves with the good works proper for women who profess godliness, and they were honored and revered for it by the church. I didnโ€™t come away from this passage with the feeling that these women were frustrated, oppressed, or seen as โ€œlesserโ€ by the church because they werenโ€™t allowed to teach or exercise authority over men. I came away from this passage thinking, โ€œThose women were awesome. Thatโ€™s the kind of woman I want to be.โ€

What would the climate in our churches look like if womenโ€™s ministries and the church at large recaptured that same reverential posture and purposefulness toward biblical womanhood? If, instead of teaching the biblical role of women strictly as, โ€œYou canโ€™t eat the fruit from this apple tree,โ€ we followed that admonition with a grand tour of the Garden, focusing on the delicious fruit of the pear tree, the cherry tree that needs a good pruning, the fig tree just waiting for the right woman to come along, harvest its fruit, and make some preserves, the banana tree that needs an expert in fertilizers, and the orange tree dying for someone to water it?

In my experience, what happens in churches of that climate is that – just like the godly widows of 1 Timothy 5 – women are so busy and fulfilled tending the other trees of the Garden, that they have neither the time nor the desire to go apple picking. 

May our churches strengthen themselves and grow to more robust spiritual health by proactively encouraging Christian women to joyfully throw ourselves into the godly โ€œgood works which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in themโ€ – the biblical โ€œyou canโ€ of complementarianism.


Additional Resources

Rock Your Role: Jill in the Pulpit

Let Me Count the Ways: 75 Ways Women Can Biblically Minister to Others

Unforbidden Fruits: 3 Ways Women MUST Lead and Teach the Church

Servanthood

The Servanthood Survey

Prayer Bible Study

Sweet Hour of Prayer: Lesson 7

Previous Lessons: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Read Luke 1

Zechariah’s Prayer and The Magnificat

Questions to Consider

1. To acclimate yourself to the book of Luke, you may wish to use this synopsisย (or anotherย Bible Book Background). Today’s lesson will focus on Zechariah’s and Mary’s prayers in Luke 1. The remainder of chapter 1 is provided for context and backstory.

2. In your own words, briefly summarize the events of chapter 1. What does the Latin word magnificat mean?

3. Examine Zechariah’s interaction with Gabriel (11-20).

After telling Zechariah not to be afraid (13), what is the very next thing Gabriel says to him? Where is Zechariah’s prayer for a child? Is it fair to infer from Gabriel’s statement in 13 that Zechariah and Elizabeth had, at some point in their years of barrenness (7), been praying for a child? Considering their advanced age (7,18) do you think they were still praying for a child, or is it possible they had assumed by this time that God had said “no” to their prayers?

What can we learn about the way and timing in which God answers prayer from His answer to Zechariah’s prayer? Suppose God had answered Zechariah’s and Elizabeth’s prayers for a child on their timetable: when they were young and Elizabeth had no track record of barrenness. How was God’s timing and His way of answering better? It’s often said that God typically answers prayer in one of three ways: “Yes,” “No,” and “Not right now.” Explain how God answered Zechariah’s and Elizabeth’s prayer for a child in all three of these ways over the years of their marriage.

4. Keeping Zechariah’s interaction with Gabriel in mind, examine Mary’s interaction with Gabriel (26-38). Carefully read the words Gabriel spoke. Does he say, as he said to Zechariah, that Mary’s prayers had been answered? Would it be reasonable to think, from this passage, that Mary had been praying for a child? Why not?

5. In Matthew 6:8, regarding prayer, Jesus said: “…your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.” How does this concept apply to the timing and the way God answered Zechariah’s and Elizabeth’s prayer, and how does it apply to God choosing Mary to be the mother of Jesus when she never in a million years would have thought to pray for such a thing?

6. Compare Zechariah’s response to Gabriel, and the consequences of his response (18-20), to Mary’s response to Gabriel (29,34,38). What reason did Gabriel give in 20b for “muting” Zechariah? Compare this to Elizabeth’s characterization of Mary’s response to Gabriel. (45) What part did belief play in both Zechariah’s and Mary’s response to Gabriel?

Read these verses. How do they apply to Zechariah (and his response), a mature man, and a priest educated in the Scriptures, as compared to Mary (and her response), a young, inexperienced, uneducated girl? Explain how God’s knowledge of each of their hearts and minds was reflected in the consequences He inflicted on Zechariah, versus the lack of consequences for Mary.

7. Examine Mary’s prayer in verses 46-55. Breaking it down into three sections, what does Mary focus on in each of these sections?

46-49:

50-53:

54-55:

Describe how Mary praises God for what He has done for her personally. (46-49) Which attributes of God’s nature and character does Mary shine the spotlight on in 50-53?

Using your cross-references and your knowledge of the Abrahamic and Davidic covenants, explain what Mary is referring to in 54-55. Why would this be a cause for praise for Mary and for Israel? In these verses, Mary declares God’s goodness for keeping His promises to His people. Is there a way we can biblically echo this prayer this side of the cross? What are some promises God has made the church as a whole that we can extol Him for keeping?

Think about the way you usually pray and the corporate (group) prayers you participate in at church. Which elements (ex: praise, supplication, thanksgiving, confession of sin, etc.) that you/your church usually include in your prayers are also included in Mary’s prayer? Which are absent? Does a prayer have to include supplication (asking God for something) for it to really be considered a prayer?

Explain how Mary’s prayer can serve as an example for our own prayers of praise and exultation.

8. Zechariah’s words in 68-79 are characterized as prophecy, but do you see any similarities to prayer in what he says and how he says it? Compare Zechariah’s words here to Mary’s prayer in 46-55. What are some similarities? Differences?

Even though Mary does focus part of her prayer (46-49) on what God has done for her personally, do you get a sense from both her prayer and Zechariah’s prophecy that they are focused on the bigger, more grandiose picture of what God is doing for His people in redemptive history? Compare this with the way we usually pray. It’s absolutely fine and biblical to pray about our own personal needs, but is it possible we focus too much on the personal in our prayers and not enough on the big picture of what God is accomplishing in redemptive history through the church? What are some things we could pray about, both individually and corporately, that would shift our focus in that direction?


Homework

This week, model some of your prayers after Mary’s prayer:

  • praise God for what He has done for you personally
  • extol the nature and character of God
  • praise Him for what He has done through redemptive history and the promises He has kept to His church.

Suggested Memory Verse

Prayer Bible Study

Sweet Hour of Prayer: Catch Up Week

Previous Lessons: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

This week I’m preparing to speak at the Cruciform conference, so you get a catch up week!

Catch up on any lessons you might be behind on, go back and do any of the homework you may not have had time for, review your memory verses, pray through a Psalm or two, or maybe even find a prayer in Scripture to study that we haven’t looked at yet. It’s your week to use as you see fit.

Memory verses for review (there was no memory verse for lesson 1):

Lesson 2

Lesson 3

Lesson 4

Lesson 5

Lesson 6

Prayer Bible Study

Sweet Hour of Prayer: Lesson 6

Previous Lessons: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Read 2 Chronicles 6:12-7:3, 7:11-22

Solomon’s Prayer at the Dedication of the Temple

Questions to Consider

1. Are you familiar with what is going on in the history of Israel and in the life and reign of Solomon at this time? If not, use this synopsisย (or anotherย Bible Book Background) to bring you up to speed. Second Chronicles 5-7 are provided in today’s passage for context and continuity. First Kings 7:51-9:9 recounts the same prayer and events we’ll be looking at in 2 Chronicles 6-7, and is provided as optional, supplementary reading. Today’s questions pertain only to Solomon’s prayer at the dedication of the temple and God’s response to his prayer in 2 Chronicles 6:12-7:3 and 7:11-22.

2. Briefly explain the recent event in Israel’s history that led to Solomon’s prayer and God’s response, and describe the venue and surroundings in which Solomon offers his prayer. Was this a private prayer or a public prayer?

3. What did Solomon’s body posture (6:12,13) indicate to himself, to God, and to the people as he prayed? Why is it important to present ourselves humbly and reverently to God when we pray, especially when leading others in prayer?

4. Let’s give a broad outline to Solomon’s prayer. What is the main focus of Solomon’s prayer in chapter 6, in each of these sections:

14-15, 18-

16-17-

19-40-

41-42

Examining each of these areas of focus, what would you say is the main focus of the whole prayer? Think about the prayers you’re familiar with in the New Testament as well as the way we pray today, individually and corporately. How much time do we spend pleading with God to hear and answer our prayers? Why do you think that is? Can you think of any New Testament passages that speak to the issue of God hearing and answering our prayers? Which of these areas of focus from Solomon’s prayer do we still include in our prayers today? What attributes of God does Solomon shine the spotlight on in his prayer?

5. In 6:16-17, especially with the phrase, “confirm Your word,” Solomon seems to be saying (reverently, of course), “God, You have promised X. We are holding you to that promise.” Does God need to be reminded of, and held accountable by us, for what He has promised? If not, what is the purpose of praying back to God what He has previously promised and asking Him to keep His Word? (Wouldn’t it be against God’s nature and character to break His word?) What does it do for us and in us, individually, and for/in God’s people, corporately, to pray His Word back to Him and ask Him to confirm it?

6. In 6:22-39, Solomon’s prayer follows the format of, “If _____ happens, then God, please do _____.” How does this format echo the and respond back to the terms of the Mosaic covenant under which Israel lived at this time? Briefly summarize each scenario Solomon presents as well as what he asks God to do in response:

22-23-

24-25-

26-27-

28-31-

32-33-

34-35-

36-39-

Why is sin a major theme of these scenarios? Do you see a common thread running through the way Solomon asks God to respond to each of these scenarios?

Since Christians are no longer under the Mosaic covenant but under the covenant of grace, how would our prayers differ from this section of Solomon’s prayer? What are some themes we see in this section of Solomon’s prayer that are still appropriate for New Covenant prayers by Christians?

7. Remember the climate (spiritual, geopolitical, cultural, etc.) of Israel at this time. Why would Solomon bring up things like future war, famine, and sin in his prayer? Do you ever pray about your future sin or about calamities that could happen in the future? What do you ask God to do if/when those things happen?

8. In his prayer, Solomon several times mentions God’s people praying “toward this place” (the temple). Does he mean this literally – that the Israelites must physically position their bodies toward the temple in Jerusalem when they pray in order for God to hear them similarly to the way Muslims must face Mecca when they pray? What does it mean in a spiritual sense for the Israelites to “pray toward this place”? Does this have any application for Christians today? How do we, in a sense, “pray toward this place” this side of the cross?

9. Does God respond to Solomon’s prayer corporately (7:1-3), privately/individually (7:12) or both? What did God do in 7:1-2 in response to Solomon’s prayer? These actions were Godย showing His answer to Solomon’s prayer. How would you put into words what God was saying by His actions in answer to Solomon’s prayer? Was God pleased with Solomon’s and the people’s prayer? How did the people react to God’s corporate response? (7:3)

10. In 7:12-22, God answers Solomon’s prayer privately, individually, and verbally (instead of with actions). Compare God’s answer with the requests Solomon had made in his prayer. Does God answer Solomon point by point, or summarize? What are each of the themes of Solomon’s prayer that God addresses? What does God include in His answer that Solomonย didn’tย pray about? How do 17-22 apply to Solomon individually, and Israel corporately? What can we learn about the nature and character of God from His answer to Solomon?


Homework

โ€ขThus far in our study, we’ve mostly been looking at private prayers offered by individuals. Solomon’s prayer is a public, corporate (Solomon leads the people, and the people pray along with him) prayer. What are some of the differences between public and private prayer? Between praying one on one with God and leading others in prayer? What are some elements of prayer you would include or not include in a public prayer versus a private prayer? Is there anything unbiblical about preparing for, or writing out, a public prayer you’ve been asked to deliver? Why or why not? Think about leading a group (your family, Bible study class, etc.) in prayer, and write out the prayer you would lead them in.

โ€ขMany American Christians believe that 2 Chronicles 7:14 is a promise to American Christians from God. Now that you have studied the context of this verse, how would you kindly and gently explain to a friend who believes this, the true meaning of this verse and that this verse is not a promise to or about America?

โ€ขAdditional Resource:ย Properly Praying the Promises


Suggested Memory Verse

Podcast Appearances

Videocast Guest Appearance with Doreen Virtue and Melissa Dougherty: What the Bible Says About Women’s Ministry

 

What a joy it was to sit down and chat with Doreen Virtue and Melissa Dougherty recently to discuss…well, all kinds of things! From the role of women in the church to Christian women in online ministry, from yoga to the Enneagram, I think we pretty much covered it all!

I would encourage you to watch some of Doreen’s and Melissa’s other videos, and subscribe to their YouTube channels:ย Doreen ย Melissa. You can also follow these wonderful ladies on Facebook: Doreenย  Melissa, and on Twitter: Doreenย  Melissa.

My articles mentioned or touched on in the interview:

Popular False Teachers and Unbiblical Trendsย (tab at the top of this page)

Recommended Bible Teachersย (tab at the top of this page)

Searching for a new church?ย (tab at the top of this page)

Speaking Engagementsย (tab at the top of this page)

A Word Fitly Spoken Podcastย (“Podcast” tab at the top of this page)

Rock Your Role: Jill in the Pulpit

Rock Your Role: Order in His Courts: Silencing Women? (1 Corinthians 14:33b-35)

Adam 3.0: Meanwhile, Back in the Garden, Itโ€™s Deja Vu All Overย Again

Are Female Bloggers Violating Scripture by โ€œTeachingโ€ Men?

The Mailbag: Should women give testimonies and reports, lead prayer and worship inย church?

The Enneagram

The Mailbag: Should Christians do yoga?

Answering the Opposition- Responses to the Most Frequently Raised Discernmentย Objectionsย (see #1 for info on the Matthew 18 issue)

Hillsong, Bethel/Jesus Culture, Elevation Music

The Mailbag: False Doctrine in Contemporary Christianย Music

The Mailbag: How should I approach my church leaders about a false teacher theyโ€™reย introducing?


Got a podcast of your own or have a podcasting friend who needs a guest? Need a speaker for a womenโ€™s conference or church event? Click the โ€œSpeaking Engagementsโ€ tab at the top of this page, drop me an e-mail, and letโ€™s chat!