Christian Parents – Page 3

10.
Thou shalt love.

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. I John 4:11

Loving our children isn’t something that just happens. It also isn’t just a nice fuzzy feeling. It’s a duty. A responsibility. A command from the lips of God Himself.

“…if God SO loved us…” What does that “so” mean? It’s talking about the way God loves us.

By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 1 John 4:9-10

God loved us enough to do what was best for us even though it cost Him that which He held most dear. He loved us sacrificially and unselfishly.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

Even when we were living in outright rebellion against Him and didn’t care that he wanted what was best for us, God loved us.

For whom the LORD loves He reproves; Even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights. Proverbs 3:12

God loves His children too much to allow us to continue in our sin, so He disciplines us.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us Ephesians 2:4

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

But, even as God disciplines us, in His mercy he forgives us when we repent of our sin.

The steps of a man are established by the LORD; And He delights in his way. When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong; Because the LORD is the One who holds his hand. Psalm 37:23-24

God delights in our obedience to Him and our love for Him. And even when we fall, He’s right there holding our hand and helping us get back up.

He who has clean hands and a pure heart; Who has not lifted up his soul to falsehood; And has not sworn deceitfully. He shall receive a blessing from the LORD; And righteousness from the God of his salvation. Psalm 24:4-5

God rewards and blesses obedience to His Word.

Do we love our children the way God loves us? Do we love them…

sacrificially and unselfishly?
enough to want what’s best for them?
enough to follow through and do what’s best for them even if they fight us every step of the way?
enough to discipline them?
enough to forgive them?
by delighting in them?
by blessing and rewarding them for doing well?

It’s a huge challenge. Our kids are going to drive us up the wall, rebel, pout, whine, and at times, break our hearts. Just like we do to God. But if He so loved us, we ought also to love our children.

Read all ten of the Ten Commandments of Parenting!

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Parenting

The 10 Commandments of Parenting- 9

July 14, 2008October 12, 2026 Michelle Lesley

9.
Thou shalt be forgiving.

“bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.” Colossians 3:13

Imagine a home where there was no forgiveness. Anger and bitterness would reign supreme. Old wounds would be nursed and rehearsed. Grudges would be held tightly as treasured friends. Is this kind of home healthy for anyone, let alone children? Is it Christlike?

Of course not. In our homes, the place where we are most inclined to let it all hang out, forgiveness is even more vital than in any other venue. If you have a husband and/or children, you know that the people who live in your house are going to sin and mess up. Royally, at times. And guess what? So are you.

How will you want to be treated when you sin or mess up? I’m guessing that while you’ll understand your family will be disappointed in you, you’ll still want them to find it in their hearts to forgive you once they work through that disappointment. In obedience to the “Golden Rule” (Luke 6:31), therefore, you’ve got to extend forgiveness when your husband or children offend you.

When we forgive each other, we paint a picture of God’s forgiveness. Just as God does not condone our sin when He forgives us, the forgiveness we extend on the human level does not mean that the offender’s actions were OK. It is merely a way of saying, “I’m going to let this go instead of continually holding it against you.”

God deeply values forgiveness. It is the entire reason He sent His Son, Jesus, to earth and allowed Him to be brutalized to death. Jesus endured all that pain and degradation so that each of us could be forgiven for offending God. And, if God could go through all of that to forgive us, how could we – out of love for Him – ever refuse to forgive our loved ones?

Read all ten of the Ten Commandments of Parenting!

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Parenting

The 10 Commandments of Parenting- 7

June 9, 2008October 12, 2026 Michelle Lesley

7. Thou shalt consistently and lovingly
discipline thy children.

Whoever spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. Proverbs 13:24

These kids today! Every generation since Adam and Eve has probably said it. Certainly today, you can’t throw a rock out the window without hitting half a dozen ill-behaved brats. We’ve all cringed at the temper tantrum-throwing child seated at the next table in the restaurant, or watched a mom in the store tell her little sweetie “no” a dozen times, only to finally give in to his demands. Heck, most of us have probably been that mom on occasion.

Hundreds of books, both Christian and secular, have been written on the topic of how to discipline children, but much rarer are the writings about why we should discipline them. As always, the easy answer to that question for the Christian is: “because God said so”. But why does God tell us to discipline our children? Because discipline teaches our children that we love them.

The most important way we can love our children is to lead them to salvation. Learning obedience to parents not only teaches them about sin, law breaking, punishment, and repentance, it also teaches them the concept of setting aside their own desires in favor of submitting to the authority that has been placed over them. This has direct application to the spiritual construct of salvation. Salvation does not take place until, through faith in Christ, we repent of our sin and submit our will to the authority and Lordship of Christ and commit to follow and obey Him.

First John 4:20 says: “If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.” I really believe this principle generally applies to obedience as well. One of the things I tell my kids when I discipline them is that, although I don’t enjoy punishing them or letting them suffer the consequences of their actions, I have to do it because I want them to start learning, through obeying me, how to obey God. I’m flesh and blood standing right in front of them, clearly telling them what to do and what will happen if they don’t obey. If they can’t obey me, how in the world are they going to learn to obey God, whom they can’t see or hear with their eyes and ears? Conversely, if a child has been lovingly and consistently disciplined, how much easier will it be to introduce him to the concept of submission to God’s authority?

Another vital spiritual principle that discipline helps teach is an understanding of sin, its consequences, and punishment. A child who has been disciplined knows what it means to be guilty of breaking the rules. He also knows that because he has broken a rule, some sort of undesirable consequence will follow swiftly. A child who has not been disciplined believes he does no wrong and that the world around him should be catering to his wants and demands. Which child will be able to grasp the idea that he is a sinner in need of salvation? Which one will understand contrition, eternal punishment, and eternal reward?

Teaching obedience also teaches our children that we are concerned about how they fare with others. My children have come to me in the past and told me that they don’t like being around certain friends of theirs who constantly misbehave. On these occasions, I very carefully (to ensure that they don’t become critical or develop an attitude of superiority) explain to my children that this is one of the reasons Daddy and I teach them good behavior. We don’t want them to experience the sadness that misbehaving child is sure to feel when he realizes that people don’t want to be around him. We teach them that we love them enough to want others to delight in them.

Discipline shows love for our children through concern for their safety. If my child doesn’t obey me when I tell him not to run into the street, he could be killed by an oncoming car. If he runs into the street and then stands there and argues with me when I tell him to get back on the sidewalk, he could also be killed.

Many years ago, when I was teaching school, a kindergarten student of mine was killed in a house fire. He didn’t die because he was unable to get out of the house. He was rescued unharmed, and was told not to go back into the house. This little boy, notoriously disobedient, went back into the house. He died as a result of lack of discipline.

I have told my children these stories on occasion, not to scare them unnecessarily, but to show them just how serious the consequences of disobedience can be. All the spiritual principles in the world won’t matter if a child isn’t alive to learn them.

Love your children by disciplining them. Show them love through their physical safety; show them love through their social well-being; and show them love through their eternal security.

Read all ten of the Ten Commandments of Parenting!

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