Mailbag

The Mailbag: Potpourri (What to do about Litton?…Couple teaching at marriage conference…False teachers- deluded or deceived?…You don’t need a Bible study)

Welcome to another โ€œpotpourriโ€ edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. Iโ€™m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.


Biblically speaking, what would be the appropriate Christian response to Ed Littonโ€™s plagiarism? More precisely, what should that response be among the masses who will never have access to Litton or those closest to him?

It’s a great question with an answer that will leave most of us Southern Baptists frustrated, I’m afraid.

To quickly catch up readers who aren’t in the know: Newly elected president of the Southern Baptist Convention, Ed Litton, has been caught in numerous instances of preaching plagiarized sermons going back several years. Many have called upon him to repent and step down as president. As far as I’m aware, to date, he has neither biblically repented nor commented on stepping down. There is no mechanism in place in SBC governing documents for removing a sitting president from office. (For more details, see the “June” and “July” sections of my article What’s Going On in the Southern Baptist Convention?)

There are several responses that could be appropriate in this situation for the average Southern Baptists who doesn’t know or have personal access to Ed Litton:

  • Pray. It is always appropriate to pray for someone who is sinning to repent. Additionally, if this situation is to be resolved biblically, God is the only One powerful enough to resolve it and wise enough to know the best way to resolve it. You also need to pray for your pastor as he guides your church to decide whether to stay in or leave the SBC, and you and your family need to pray together about your pastor’s decision and whether or not you can abide by it.
  • Inform. If you and your church are going to remain in the SBC for now, you have to stay informed on the major issues, and this is one of them. (That’s why I wrote the “What’s going on…” article linked above, to help you stay informed.) Keep yourself informed, keep your pastor informed, and keep your Sunday School class, circle of friends, and any other appropriate people at church informed. Ask your pastor how things stand with your local SBC association, and whether or not, and how, it might be appropriate for you or someone else to keep the association informed.
  • Connect. I would strongly suggest joining, following on social media, subscribing to the newsletter/email list, etc. of both the Conservative Baptist Network and Founders Ministries. If any action is taken on the plagiarism issue or any other problematic issue in the SBC, it will likely spring from one or both of these groups, and you and your church will want to consider joining forces with them.
  • Take action(?). There are a few ways to take action in this situation as an individual, such as sending Litton a (kindly worded, non-harassing) email urging him to repent and step down, expressing your concerns to the appropriate SBC leadership, or possibly starting a petition of some sort, but I would really suggest getting some advice from your pastor first.

    Honestly, I can pretty much guarantee any effort like that from an individual is going to be ignored. If the Resolutions Committee can refuse to allow a vote on a resolution proffered by 1300+ Southern Baptists, they’re not going to pay an ounce of attention to an email or a petition. Bluntly, you and I aren’t important enough to matter to those in SBC leadership. Your pastor probably isn’t either, nor the director of your association, nor even the head of your state convention. Maybe if somebody with enough power, position, and platform made enough noise about Litton stepping down (or any of these other issues) maybe, something might get done. But at this point, I’m not even sure who that might be.

    All of which brings us full circle to our first and most effective response: pray. This is a mess that only God can clean up.

My husband and I were talking about women teaching/preaching to men, and he brought up an interesting question: what about when your church has a marriage conference and there is a husband/wife team who comes and they both teach?

Thanks for asking this question, because this seems to be a common teaching model for marriage and family conferences. It seems like a complicated situation to us, but it’s not to God. He said what He said in Scripture, and He means it, regardless of the circumstances.

A Christian conference is a gathering of the church body for the purpose of biblical instruction. That is a context in which Scripture’s prohibition of women instructing men in the Scriptures applies (see #7 here). So whenever the husband/wife team are addressing the co-ed audience, they just need to make sure that the wife is not giving biblical instruction to the group at large. That should fall to the husband.

That doesn’t mean that the wife can’t open her mouth at all in front of the group. It would be fine for her to…

  • give her personal testimony
  • offer practical advice (ex: “Joe and I have found it really helpful in our marriage to start the day off in prayer and a discussion of that day’s schedule.” “Guys, we ladies really like foot massages!”, etc.)
  • speak directly to the women in the audience about their role, behavior, or attitude in marriage as needed (Ex: “Ladies, Ephesians 5 is clear that we are to submit to our husbands.”)
  • answer any questions during a Q&A time that don’t require her to exposit Scripture to a male questioner
  • ask a question or make a brief, non-exhortational comment after her husband gives the biblical instruction portion of the session (ex: “Honey, I’m thinking some people might need a little clarification on what ‘depriving one another’ means in 1 Corinthians 7. Can you explain that to us a little more?” “Yes, 1 Peter 3:1-6 has always been so helpful to me as I strive to be a godly wife. And verse 7 has some good instruction for husbands, right, Joe?”)

And, of course, the conference can be structured so there are times of co-ed instruction and times when the wife teaches the women and the husband teaches the men.

For a husband and wife team who are doctrinally sound, spiritually mature, and committed to obeying Scripture, it shouldn’t be that difficult to lead a conference like this in a biblical way.

As far as whether or not to attend a marriage conference in which a husband and wife team will be speaking to a co-ed audience, you’ll have to do your homework to find out how committed they are to obeying Scripture in this regard. Listen to some of their previous conferences, if they’re coming to your church, ask your pastor about it, or you could try emailing the couple and asking them.


I know that some of the false teachers we see on TV are delusional and really think they create things on the same level as God, but are some people genuinely confused and simply don’t understand that what they are teaching and believing is false? Are the ones who are just confused still heretics and false teachers?

Let’s take that last question first. If you teach false doctrine or heresy, you’re a false teacher or a heretic, regardless of your motive. Whether you think what you’re teaching is right, or you know it’s wrong and you teach it anyway, the end result is the same: you’re teaching error.

Now let’s clarify the first part of your question a bit, because you bring an interesting point to the table with the word “delusional”. “Delusional” is really mental health terminology rather than biblical terminology. Is it possible some of these folks are truly mentally unbalanced? Yes. But you know what else looks a lot like mental illness in some cases? Demon possession. And I’m convinced that at least a few of these heretics are demon possessed.

But I do think the truly possessed are in the minority, and the majority are simply deceived. They are of their father the devil, so they speak his language and their will is to do his desires:

Why do you not understand what I say? It is because you cannot bear to hear my word. You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies…Whoever is of God hears the words of God. The reason why you do not hear them is that you are not of God.โ€

John 8:43-44, 47

And this holds true whether we perceive the false teacher to be a conniving, greedy charlatan, or a “good guy” who’s just “honestly mistaken”. It’s also true whether or not he’s made a conscious decision to proactively serve Satan by knowingly teaching false doctrine. There are only two potential masters in a person’s life, Christ or Satan, and if you’re not a slave of Christ, you’re enslaved to Satan. There’s no middle ground for lost “nice people”. The “honestly mistaken” guy who’s teaching false doctrine is still doing his master’s bidding, he’s just deceived into thinking his master is Christ.

But when it comes to how we’re to regard and handle false teachers, it doesn’t really matter whether it’s delusion, deception, or demon possession, because God doesn’t require us to know what’s going on in their hearts and minds to be able to biblically evaluate them.

Our job is to evaluate what weย canย see โ€“ the personโ€™s behavior, writings, sermons, teachings, and conversation โ€“ and determine whether or not it aligns with Scripture. If it doesnโ€™t โ€“ย regardless of what we think of the teacher’s motives or mental stateย โ€“ย those teachings, and the person who teaches them, have no place in our churches or personal study materials.

The condition of the teacher’s heart and mind? That’s above our pay grade. We leave that to God.

Can a False Teacher Be a Christian?


I am looking for a Biblically sound womenโ€™s study on healthy eating habits and am hoping you can point me In the right direction?ย 

I think I’ve mentioned before that the top two questions readers ask me are, “Is _____ a false / sound teacher?” and “Can you recommend a Bible study on / for _____?”

I love the heart behind both of those questions because it tells me that the person asking wants biblical teaching, and nothing could make me happier. Truly.

But, no, I can’t point you in the direction of a doctrinally sound study on healthy eating habits for two reasons:

First, as a matter of principle, I don’t recommend what I call “canned” studies (books, workbooks, DVDs, etc.), even doctrinally sound ones, at all. I recommend women study (and teach) straight from the text of Scripture. You can read more about why I hold this position and how you can learn to study/teach straight from the Bible itself at the Bible Studies tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page.

The second reason I can’t recommend such a study is that such a study does not exist. Here’s why. Doctrinally sound studies start with a passage of Scripture and teach you what it says. And other than condemning gluttony, and making a few general statements about using your body to glorify God rather than to sin, the Bible says nothing about healthy eating habits (at least not in the way we use that phrase in 21st century America). And any study that says it does is mishandling Scripture and taking it out of context, and, therefore, isn’t doctrinally sound.

A perfect example of this is false teacher Rick Warren’s book The Daniel Diet, which is based on a mishandling of Daniel 1:8-16. (Daniel didn’t refuse the king’s food because it was unhealthy or to lose weight, but to obey God’s law and to avoid making himself unclean. Also, you’ll notice v.15 says that after ten days on this “diet” Daniel and the boys were actually “fatter”.) I would also warn you away from Lysa TerKeurst’s Made to Crave since she is a false teacher as well. And, it would not surprise me to learn that a number of other false teachers have written health and diet “Bible studies”.

The truth is, you don’t need a Bible study, you need a new paradigm. The paradigm you and many, many Christian women are currently operating under, probably without even realizing it is, “I have an issue. A book or Bible study will give me the solution for it.”. That’s not necessarily a bad or sinful paradigm (in fact, like I said, it’s very good and right that your instinct is to turn to Scripture), it’s just that there’s a better, more biblical, more helpful paradigm which, in a nutshell is, “Pursue Christ and trust Him with your issues.”

Here’s what I’d recommend:

Read my article about biblical decision-making: Basic Training: 8 Steps to Finding Godโ€™s Will for Your Life and begin applying those principles to your walk with the Lord and your eating issues.

As you go about pursuing Christ, you can certainly study any biblical passages that relate to your particular issues of healthy eating. Are you failing to exercise self-control? Failing to be content? Is it an issue of laziness? Do you have an unbiblical view of your body itself? Maybe you have a particular medical condition that requires a new diet. You’ll have to prayerfully determine exactly what your issue is, then study (in context and rightly handled) the passages that pertain to that issue1, repent of any sin you might be committing, and trust, believe, and obey God’s Word.

Pray, pray, pray. Ask God to help you with what you’re studying in His Word, to help you lose weight, to see your body the way He sees it, etc.

Make an appointment with your doctor and ask what he recommends.

Get some godly counsel. Is there a godly older woman in your church who could disciple you through this? Or maybe there’s a nutritionist or dietitian who goes to your church2? If you’re not sure, ask your pastor.

And, truly, this is what I would recommend to most of the women who write and ask me if I can recommend a Bible study or book on a very specific, personal life issue. Because it’s not necessarily about finding the “solution” to whatever your issue is. Often, it’s God giving you an issue to grow you, to move you to cry out to Him, and to lead you to depend on Him to carry you through whatever it is.

1If you’re not sure where to find those passages, ask your pastor or a godly friend for help. You can also Google “Bible verses about _____” and probably get some good lists of verses, but it’s imperative that you look those verses up and read them in context so you’ll know whether or not they actually apply.

2Don’t expect free advice or help just because it’s a church friend. Ask if you can make an appointment, and plan to pay the full fee just like you would if this person were a stranger.


If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (Iโ€™ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Judges Bible Study

Judges ~ Lesson 2

Welcome, ladies! Just a reminder, please do not skip Lesson 1 from last week (link below). Not only will it answer any questions you may have about the study itself, but if you want to study Judges properly, you must do the background work contained in Lesson 1.

Previous Lessons: 1

Read Judges 1:1-2:5

Questions to Consider

1. Review your notes from last week’s introductory lesson. What are some things to keep in mind as you begin to study the text of Judges today?

2. Carefully examine Deuteronomy 7. How does this passage serve as the historical backdrop for 1:1? How does Judges 1:1-2:5 carry out, and fail to carry out, Deuteronomy 7?

3. In your own words, and using your cross-references, describe what is happening in 1:1-3. Why was it important that the people inquired of the Lord? Were Judah and Simeon individuals?

4. Using the maps in your Bible, or these maps (scroll down to โ€œJudgesโ€), attempt to identify as many locations mentioned in today’s passage as possible, and describe, in your own words, the confrontations at each location.

5. In 1:27-36, who are Manasseh, Ephraim, Zebulun, Asher, Naphtali, and Dan? How did they fail to carry out God’s instructions from Deuteronomy 7?

6. In 2:2, God says to Israel, “You have not obeyed my voice.” List the ways Israel had disobeyed God. Did God give them “credit” for their partial obedience in 1:1-26? It has been said that “Partial obedience is disobedience.” Explain this statement in light of today’s passage.

Israel was a corporate body of God’s people, similar to the way the local church is a corporate body of God’s people. What happens to a local church when part of the body is walking in obedience, and part of the body is walking in disobedience?

7. At the end of 2:3, what was God’s main concern with Israel’s failure to drive the pagan nations out of the Promised Land? Think about what you know of Old Testament history from this point on. How did the Canaanite gods become a “snare” to Israel?

8. Examine these New Testament passages. How is what God teaches Christians in the New Testament about avoiding false teachers and professing Christians who live in unrepentant sin similar to God’s commands in Deuteronomy and Judges about driving out the pagans so Israel wouldn’t be drawn away by sin and false gods?

9. What was the people’s response to God pronouncing the consequences of their sin in 2:4-5? Does it seem from these verses that this was a godly grief over their sin or a worldly grief over the consequences? What kind of grief does God want us to have when confronted with our sin? Does God always remove the consequences of our sin when we repent? Watch, as we continue our study in Judges, to see if God removes the consequences of Israel’s sin.

10. Today’s passage lays the foundation for what is to come in the book of Judges. Describe the foundation Israel laid, and what you expect to see happen when they build on that foundation in the chapters to come.


Homework

  • Think about your church. Is there any way part of the body is walking in disobedience? How? Commit to praying for your church about this, and prayerfully consider whether you should speak to your pastor about it, and how you might influence your brothers and sisters in Christ toward obedience to Scripture.
  • Consider your relationships and partnerships in light of the New Testament passages linked in #8. Is there any way you need to “come out from among them and be ye separate”? Pray about how God would have you be set apart to Him when it comes to these relationships and partnerships.

Suggested Memory Verse

Judges Bible Study

Judges ~ Lesson 1- Introduction

Welcome to our new study: Judges! The era of the judges was a dark time for the people of Israel – a time of rampant sin, idolatry, and rebellion against the God who loved them and kept calling them back to Himself. The theme verse of Judges paints a picture of just how bleak things really were:

In those days there was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in his own eyes.

Judges 21:25

The title pic for this study is meant to evoke the image of the people of God walking down a road broken by their sin, surrounding themselves with so much darkness and evil it all but blocks out the lamp for their feet and the light for their path. But we will see the love of God continuing to beam down on His people, dappling their darkness with spots of His marvelous light.

Could it be that Judges is just the book God’s people should be studying today?


If you’re new to using my Bible studies, just a few housekeeping items and helpful hints:

The studies Iโ€™ve written (you can find all of them at the Bible Studies tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page) are like โ€œtraining wheelsโ€. Theyโ€™re designed to teach you how to study the Bible for yourself (or teach it to others) and what kinds of questions to ask of the text so that, when you get the hang of it, you wonโ€™t have to depend on other peopleโ€™s books and materials โ€“ even mine โ€“ any more. To that end, I do not provide answersย for the study questions in the studies Iโ€™ve written.

My studies are meant to be extremely flexible and self-paced so that you can use them in the way that works best for you. You can do an entire lesson in one day or work on the questions over the course of the week (or longer). You do not need to feel obligated to answer all (or any) of the questions. If the Holy Spirit parks you on one question for several days, enjoy digging deep into that one aspect of the lesson. If He shows you something I haven’t written a question about that captures your attention, dive in and study it! Those are ways the Holy Spirit speaks to us through His Word. This is your time to commune with the Lord, not a school assignment or work project you are beholden to complete in a certain way by a certain deadline.

I will post a new lesson on the blog every Wednesday, so there is nothing to sign up for or commit to. Simply stop by the blog each week, or subscribe to the blog via e-mail to have the lessons delivered to your inbox.

I use hyperlinks liberallyThe Scriptures for each lesson will be linked at the beginning of the lesson and in the lesson questions. As you’re reading the lesson, whenever you see a word in a different color text, click on it, and it will take you to a Scripture, article, or other resource that will help as you study.

All of the studies Iโ€™ve written are suitable for groups or individuals. You are welcome to use them as a Sunday school or Bible study class curriculum (for free) with proper attribution.

You are also welcome to print out any of my Bible studies (or any article Iโ€™ve written) for free and make as many copies as youโ€™d like, again, with proper attribution. Iโ€™ve explained more about that in this article (3rd section).


Introduction to Judges

Before we begin studying a book of the Bible, itโ€™s very important that we understand some things about that book. We need to knowโ€ฆ

Who the author was and anything we might be able to find out about him or his background.

Who the audience of the book is: Jews or Gentiles? Old Testament Israelites or New Testament Christians? This will help us understand the authorโ€™s purpose and approach to what heโ€™s writing.

What kind of biblical literature weโ€™re looking at. We approach books of history differently than books of wisdom, books of wisdom differently than books of prophecy, etc.

What the purpose of the book is. Was it written to encourage? Rebuke? Warn?

What the historical backdrop is for the book. Is Israel at war? At peace? In exile? Under a bad king? Good king? Understanding the historical events surrounding a piece of writing help us understand what was written and why it was written.

When the book was written. Where does the book fall on the timeline of biblical history? This is especially important for Old Testament books which are not always arranged in chronological order.

So this week, before we start studying the actual text of the book of Judges, we need to lay the foundation to understanding the book by finding the answers to these questions.

Read the following overviews of the book of Judges, taking notes on anything that might aid your understanding of the book, and answer the questions below:

Bible Introductions: Judgesย at Grace to You

Overview of the Book of Judgesย at Reformed Answers

Summary of the Book of Judgesย at Got Questions

1. Who wrote the book of Judges? How do we know (or why do we not know) this?

2. Approximately when was Judges written? What is the geographical setting of the book of Judges? Here are some maps (scroll down to โ€œJudgesโ€) that may be helpful as you study through the book of Judges.

3. Who is the original, intended audience of the book of Judges? Describe the historical setting (historic events, politics, sociology of the time, etc.) of Judges.

4. Whichย genre of biblical literature is the book of Judges: law, history, wisdom, poetry, narrative, epistles, or prophecy/apocalyptic? What does this tell us about the approach we should take when studying this book versus our approach to books of other genres?

5. What is the theme or purpose of the book of Judges?

6. What are some of the major topics of instruction or exhortation in the book of Judges? How do these topics relate to the theme of Judges?

7. What are some ways Judges points to and connects to Jesus?

8. What else did you learn about the setting of this book that might help you understand the text of the book better?

Take some time in prayer this week to begin preparing your heart for this study. Ask God to give you wisdom and understanding for the text, and an increased hatred for sin and hunger for holiness, as we study Judges together.

Uncategorized

The Word on Wednesdays

Hi ladies! I hope youโ€™ve been enjoying The Word on Wednesday Bible study lessons and resources, and that youโ€™re looking forward to our new study as much as I am.

Iโ€™ve been taking a break on Wednesdays getting ready for our new study. I hope youโ€™ll enjoy it and that it will edify you as you seek to grow in Christ and His Word. (The picture above does not mean we will be studying James. :0)

Unless Providentially hindered, I hope to announce the new study in the next few weeks. Stay tuned, and keep an eye on the blog on Wednesdays.

In the meantime, I’ll be posting some articles from the archives that I think youโ€™ll find helpful as we make our way toward our next study. Here is this weekโ€™s article:

Wednesday’s Word

Wednesday is Bible study day here on the blog. In my Wednesday’s Word Bible study series youโ€™ll find miscellaneous, one lesson Bible studies from each book of the Bible. One chapter of Scripture followed by study questions. This sampler series demonstrates that thereโ€™s nothing to be afraid of when approaching those โ€œlesser knownโ€ books and that every book of the Bible is valuable and worth studying.

Wednesday’s Word ~ Psalm 139

Oย Lord, you haveย searched me and known me!
2ย Youย know when I sit down and when I rise up;
ย ย ย ย youย discern my thoughts from afar.
3ย You search out my path and my lying down
ย ย ย ย and are acquainted with all my ways.
4ย Even before a word is on my tongue,
ย ย ย ย behold, Oย Lord,ย you know it altogether… Continue reading…

Holidays (Other), Old Testament, Parenting

Throwback Thursday ~ Bad Dad David?

Originally published June 16, 2019

I recently finished reading through the life of David during my quiet time. When we think of David, the first thing to jump to mind is probably โ€œand Goliathโ€ or โ€œand Bathshebaโ€ or maybe that he was a king or a psalmist. But have you ever thought of David and the first thing to come to mind was โ€œlousy fatherโ€? I havenโ€™t. And the Bible doesnโ€™t explicitly tell us that he was a bad dad. And, letโ€™s face it, even the most godly parents in the world can have a kid or two who turn out to be prodigals. But if you look at how some of Davidโ€™s children turned out, you have to at least wonder about his parenting skills.

First youโ€™ve got Amnon โ€“ as disgusting a specimen of a human being as ever walked the planet. He makes himself physically ill lusting day after day for his half sisterTamar. Thatโ€™s a lot of lust. But at least โ€“ at least โ€“ he keeps it to himself. For a while, that is.

Amnonโ€™s got an equally disgusting cousin, Jonadab โ€“ who, instead of smacking him senseless when Amnon shamelessly confesses his dastardly daydreams โ€“ devises a scheme to help Amnon indulge his foul and festering flesh by tricking David into making Tamar available to him. David sends Tamar to Amnonโ€™s house, and Tamar pleads with him not to force himself on her.

(While Tamar is pleading with her pustule of a brother, she says something interesting: โ€œPlease speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.โ€ Now, arguably, itโ€™s likely she was just saying whatever she could think of in the moment to get away from Amnon and didnโ€™t really believe David would allow Amnon to marry her. But if she did believe that to be true, that definitely says something about David. Because, by that time in Israelโ€™s history, intermarriage between two people who shared a parent was big-time illegal with severe consequences for the offenders. And David and everybody else in the kingdom knew that. Did Davidโ€™s children think he would break the law for them and excuse them from punishment? And for such a nauseating reason?)

But Amnon ignores Tamarโ€™s heartbreaking pleas and forcibly rapes her. He rapes his sister. David finds out what happened and is understandably angry. But does he follow the law and have Amnon executed? Nope. (So we at least have our answer to the question of whether or not David would break the law for his children.) If David did anything about the situation, the Bible doesnโ€™t record it.

Fast forward two whole years. David has still not made his rapist son face the music, so Absalom, Tamarโ€™s full brother, metes out his own brand of justice, putting Amnon to death.

Fast forward a few more years and Absalom thinks, โ€œI believe Iโ€™d make a better king than dear old Dad.โ€ So he sets about manipulating and stealing the hearts of his countrymen away from David and stages a bloodless coup. David ends up having to flee for his life from his own son. Meanwhile, Absalom moves into the palace, sets up a love nest on the roof where everybody can see, and sleeps with Davidโ€™s concubines. Then, Absalom gathers up an army to hunt David โ€“ his father โ€“ down in order to kill him and secure his throne.

Davidโ€™s men fight valiantly for him, risking their own lives. Joab, the commander of Davidโ€™s army โ€“ perhaps considering Davidโ€™s command to โ€œdeal gentlyโ€ with Absalom as ludicrous after all Absalom has done โ€“ seizes an opportune moment, and kills Absalom. David flips out in grief, so much so that Joab has to rebuke him: all these men risked their lives to save you, David, and youโ€™re crying and moaning over this wretch who was trying to kill you! Snap out of it or theyโ€™re going to turn on you! Fortunately, David has the sense to listen to him.

After some more wars, some famine, and a โ€œsin-sus,โ€ Adonijah decides he can pull off the coup his brother Absalom so spectacularly failed at. David is old and sickly, and it should be easy for Adonijah to make a grab for the throne. And in the description of Adonijah, hereโ€™s what was said that initially got me thinking David wasnโ€™t Dad of the year:

His [Adonijahโ€™s] father [David] had never at any time displeased him [Adonijah] by asking, โ€œWhy have you done thus and so?โ€ 

Are you picking up what the author of 1 Kings is laying down? David was an indulgent father. He had never at any time questioned his sonโ€™s actions or intervened in a way that upset him. He let Adonijah run wild and do what he wanted to do. And the way Amnon and Absalom acted, itโ€™s reasonable to surmise that David raised them the same way, along with all the rest of his children. Itโ€™s a miracle Solomon turned out as well as he did (at least until his wives drew him away from the Lord into idol worship). Reading the first nine chapters of Proverbs, I canโ€™t help but wonder if Solomon observed Davidโ€™s parenting and was determined not to follow his poor example. Listen to my instructions, son. Get wisdom. Donโ€™t be a fool.

Sometimes Bible characters set a great example for us. David, a man after Godโ€™s own heart, set many. But sometimes God lets us see their poor and sinful behavior so we can learn not to follow their example. Moms and Dads, letโ€™s make sure we are men and women after Godโ€™s own heart when it comes to parenting our kids.

Happy Fatherโ€™s Day, yโ€™all.