Category: Guest Posts

Guest Posts

Guest Post: How to Survive a Wimpy Women’s Ministry

Michelle Lesley

If your theology pretty much matches up with mine (as outlined in the “Welcome” and “Statement of Faith” tabs) and you’d like to contribute a guest post, drop me an e-mail at MichelleLesley1@yahoo.com,
and let’s chat about it.Kim Wine Wimpy Womens Ministry

How to Survive a Wimpy Women’s Ministry
by Kim Wine

Vanessa was excited to attend the weeknight women’s ministry event. A new friend had recently invited her to their annual women’s conference. Vanessa’s own church was extremely small and had no women’s ministry, so she was excited to attend an event that would edify her and train her in righteousness through the Word of God. She walked in with joyful expectation of tools to help her in her spiritual growth.

Upon entering the event, Vanessa was given her itinerary. The day was filled with craft projects, networking activities, and tips on how to create a more hospitable home environment. Vanessa maintained an optimistic attitude, still looking forward to the keynote speaker. Unfortunately, Vanessa left weeping, feeling discouraged and disappointed and even emptier than she felt when she walked in the event. The speaker delivered a highly motivating speech that “empowered” women and made them feel loved and accepted and “at peace” with God and each other…. And it was woefully devoid of Scripture, the gospel, or any mention of sin or repentance.

Maybe you’re like Vanessa and have experienced something similar? Have you walked away from women’s events at churches and wondered “what on earth just happened? Wasn’t I supposed to know more about my Lord at the end?” How do we change the culture of women’s ministry in today’s churches? I believe the solution lies in the discernment developed in the lives of both the ministry leader and the participant. Both participants and leaders must have a discerning mind and heart about what they’re allowing to be taught.

The Participant

Let’s assume you’re just like Vanessa. You don’t feel led by the Lord to be a women’s ministry leader, but you’re desperately hungry for more from your women’s ministry. What do you do to encourage your leader to be discerning in the teaching choices she makes?

1. Become discerning yourself. It is your responsibility to be knowledgeable about the Word of God. No one else is responsible to spoon-feed you. (1 John 2:27) You have the Holy Spirit indwelling you to remind you of the things you have learned (John 14:26), but you must learn them first in order to recall them.

2. Be an active participant. (Hebrews 10:23-25) You may not like what’s going on in your women’s ministry. Tea parties and testimonies may be the last thing you want to spend your time doing. But as long as the teaching you are receiving isn’t heretical (of course you shouldn’t stick around for false teaching), being active is the only way to develop a good relationship with your ministry leader. Ladies, I realize this is a hard one. I don’t like wasting my time and I’m sure you don’t either. But developing relationships takes your presence. It is not a waste of time to form a relationship that could give you future opportunity to disciple another woman to more depth and discernment.

3. Become a trusted friend of your women’s ministry leader. Take her to coffee and get to know her with no agenda. Be a support for her. Offer to help with events. You just might find out you both have the same heart for depth and discernment and you’re striving for the same goals. Maybe she’s working toward the same things you long for as well.

4. Be patient and consistent. It takes a while to turn a whole ship around. Give her time and space to work toward something new. Depth and discernment could be something the women in your church are unfamiliar with. As long as you’re seeing growth – even if it’s incremental – stay plugged in and be her biggest cheerleader. Show her that you can be trusted. And gently, as the Lord opens doors in your relationship with your leader, make good suggestions about teachers, authors, and materials.

The Women’s Ministry Leader

If you have been given the task of leading women, you have been given a very critical role in the life of your church. Women are very easily deceived by false teaching. (2 Timothy 3:6-7) Your job is to be a second line of defense after your pastor to protect these women. Don’t take it lightly. What can you do to train your women to be discerning?

1. Bring in great speakers. Only allow speakers who saturate your women in the Truth of the Word of God. Do not allow women to hear false teaching. Test your speakers against the Word of God. (1 John 4:1) Testimonies are empowering and emotional. But testimonies can never edify like the pure milk of the Word of God. (1 Peter 2:2) Make sure your speaker is faithful to the text.

2. Spend more time on Scripture than you do on activities. Make the Word of God the central part of your ministry. Women should be able to come to any event scheduled and know that whatever the activity is, it will be secondary to the Word of God. Teach your women to crave the Word by making it the main course of every event. Always. Be consistent with this and you will start to see your women change from the inside out

3. Schedule and attend sound Bible studies within your church. Leaders, if you want your women to learn to be discerning, you must offer in-depth Bible study. You may not be able to commit to being the teacher, but you can assign a godly, mature woman to teach the study. Maybe someone like Vanessa? If you are not the teacher, make it a priority to attend at least one of the women’s studies within your church. You must lead by example. The women in your church will take their cues about what’s important from two people – their pastor’s wife, and the women’s ministry leader. Be a great example so that you can echo Paul when he told others to follow his example. (1 Corinthians 11:1, 1 Corinthians 4:16, Philippians 3:17)

4. Get involved in the women’s lives. In order to discern where your women are spiritually, you must know them well. Make yourself available for the ladies. Be approachable. If you see someone struggling, ask her how you can pray for her. Just be there. You are not going to know what to offer your women if you don’t really know your women. Acts 2:43-47 gives us a beautiful picture of the church simply “doing life” together. Emulate that in your women’s ministry.

Whether you are a participant or a leader, you can make a huge difference in the women’s ministry of your church. Be consistent. Be faithful. And, by all means, be discerning. Then teach others to replicate the pattern.

I know there are many godly women reading this post who have been “in the trenches” of women’s ministry leadership for many years. Please comment any other insight you have that would help edify our women’s ministries.

Kim Wine is a Bible study teacher and speaker whose passion is to teach women how to study the Word for themselves. She is the Women’s Ministry Director at Glory Books, a Bible study equipping website. She also co-hosts the Women’s Hope Podcast each Wednesday at Glory Books, which offers biblical solutions for tough women’s issues. You can read more from Kim on her personal blog. Connect with Kim on Twitter, Facebook, or by emailing womenshope@glorybooks.org.

ALTHOUGH I DO MY BEST TO THOROUGHLY VET THE THEOLOGY OF THE BLOGGERS WHO SUBMIT GUEST POSTS, IT IS ALWAYS POSSIBLE FOR THINGS TO SLIP THROUGH THE CRACKS. PLEASE MAKE SURE ANY BLOGGER YOU FOLLOW, INCLUDING ME, RIGHTLY AND FAITHFULLY HANDLES GOD’S WORD AND HOLDS TO SOUND BIBLICAL DOCTRINE.
Guest Posts

Guest Post ~ A Lady First: Being a Pastor’s Wife

Michelle Lesley

If your theology pretty much matches up with mine (as outlined in the “Welcome” and “Statement of Faith” tabs) and you’d like to contribute a guest post, drop me an e-mail at MichelleLesley1@yahoo.com,
and let’s chat about it.

kesha-griffin-lady-first

A Lady First: Being a Pastor’s Wife
by: Laurel J. Davis

Reality TV makes a mockery of Christianity and I as a pastor’s wife am fed up, especially with what a lot of pastors’ wives are doing in real “real life” to perpetuate the problem.

And why are most of them Black? As an African-American pastor’s wife myself, that just adds insult to injury. Overall, the professing Christians on The Sisterhood, (cancelled, yay!), Preachers’ Daughters, Preachers of L.A., Preachers of Detroit, and Preachers of Atlanta are embarrassing. Not all pastors are about the bling. And not all pastors’ wives are arrogant, entitled, self-centered, elitist, patronizing, untouchable, I-can-do-what-I-want-I’m-the-first-lady, got-to-be-the-best-dressed, biblically illiterate, gossiping busybodies.

But a lot of us are. A lot of pastors’ wives abuse the title of “first lady in the church” (a long-held tradition in so-called African American churches). And it falls right in line with what 2 Timothy 3:6-7 warns about gullible women being taken captive.

Special attention and favor do inevitably come with being married to the most respected person in the local church. The problem is when pastors’ wives get caught up in the hype instead of gently resisting people’s natural tendency to put them on a pedestal. Allowing yourself to be called “First Lady” in the first place is the beginning of that problem.

I’m thinking about two examples. First is “Lady” Myesha Chaney, married to Pastor Wayne Chaney of Antioch Church of Long Beach, California, featured on Preachers of L.A. In one episode he needed a second in command and she wanted the job. When he hesitated, partly because the church board was against the nepotism and partly because of his own concerns about whether she could balance it with her existing responsibilities at home and church, she started crying. Her husband then, um, submitted.

Not to belittle Mrs. Chaney’s real feelings, but I’m concerned for a church where: 1) the second in command cries when she doesn’t get her way; 2) the senior pastor is easily moved by it because it’s his wife; 3) she shows such lack of trust in his God-ordained leadership; and 4) he submits to his wife and not vice-versa when it comes to a major church decision – which makes me wonder how much she was running things behind the scenes already.

The second example is “Lady” Bridget Hilliard, wife of Pastor I.V. Hilliard of New Light Christian Center in Houston, Texas. The church’s website dedicated a whole micro-site to her 50th birthday bash for $100 per person admission price, and even included gift ideas of “monetary gifts, designer handbags (Gucci, Chanel and Louis Vitton) and gift certificates (Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue, Escade).” (Houston Press) Mrs. Hilliard was already driving a Bentley with the license plate, “Mrs. Attitude.” (Guess what was on her husband’s.) Enough said.

Am I being arrogant or elitist? Anything I think I know is not because I think I have any superior insight or privileged wisdom. I am no more capable than anybody else to just, simply, measure up everything against the test of the final authority of God’s Word.

Am I gossiping? No, because I’m not addressing anything that isn’t already public knowledge.

Am I being unloving? No. My hope is that those women and their admirers will be helped out of this unbiblical way of thinking in the church. And that’s very loving, indeed.

Am I jealous? Hardly. I don’t want the title “First Lady.” Being called “Mrs. Davis” is plenty satisfying enough, thank you very much. Furthermore, I’m trying to live by Luke 12:15; Matthew 6:19 and 1 Timothy 6:6-8.

Too many “first ladies” fail to see that being a pastor’s wife is a privilege, not an entitlement. It’s a calling, not a status level. It’s a position of support and service, not of being served. It’s an opportunity to bless, not control. It’s about modeling a pricelessly adorned spirit, not the latest Gucci bag. It’s a responsibility to give God all the glory, not share it with Him.

I’ve been a pastor’s wife for almost 23 years. With all of its perks come a lot of pitfalls. Don’t seek the role unless you know you’re called by God, because a pastor is supposed to be a servant, and so are you as his biggest supporter and closest disciple. Plus, you’ll have to endure a lot of sacrifice, scrutiny, trials, tests, second-guessing, attacks, betrayal, and loneliness. The fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-24) will have to be in operation on double-time.

Being a pastor’s wife also means seeing the blessing of the fruit of your labor in serving, guiding your precious sisters and young women (Titus 2:3-5), and first and foremost being a fitting helpmate to your husband both at home and at church.

In short, be a “lady first.” Be a woman – pastor’s wife or not – after God’s own heart, first. Like the Proverbs 31 woman, a “lady first” is content with her husband and children honoring her even if no one else ever does (cf. verses 28-29). Then, it’s her good deeds — not her title, position, possessions or fashion style — that garner admiration from outside the home (verses 30-31). And like the Titus 2 woman (verses 3-5), she knows her responsibility to younger women, lives holy, avoids idolatry, shuns gossip, teaches biblically, is level-headed, loves and yields to her husband, nurtures her children, and makes her home a refuge – all so that she will not open up the Word of God to be maligned, cheapened or discredited.

It’s a constant striving already to be the Proverbs 31/Ephesians 5/Titus 2/1 Peter 3 woman even without the added responsibility of supporting a husband’s ministry. But being a lady first, more than being a first lady, is what is most beautiful in the eyes of your husband, your children, your church and, most importantly of all, your Heavenly Father.

-Originally published at The Reluctant First Lady

Laurel Davis is a pastor’s wife in Los Angeles. A freelance magazine writer, she also writes for Got Questions? and Blogos, and has her own blog, The Reluctant First Lady. Laurel and her husband Charlton, who produces and co-hosts What Does the Bible Say?, have been married for almost 29 years, have four grown children, one grandchild and another one on the way. Follow Lauren on Facebook or email her at reluctantfirstlady@gmail.com

ALTHOUGH I DO MY BEST TO THOROUGHLY VET THE THEOLOGY OF THE BLOGGERS WHO SUBMIT GUEST POSTS, IT IS ALWAYS POSSIBLE FOR THINGS TO SLIP THROUGH THE CRACKS. PLEASE MAKE SURE ANY BLOGGER YOU FOLLOW, INCLUDING ME, RIGHTLY AND FAITHFULLY HANDLES GOD’S WORD AND HOLDS TO SOUND BIBLICAL DOCTRINE.
Guest Posts

Guest Post: Defiance and Defeat

Michelle Lesley

If your theology pretty much matches up with mine (as outlined in the “Welcome” and “Statement of Faith” tabs) and you’d like to contribute a guest post, drop me an e-mail at MichelleLesley1@yahoo.com,
and let’s chat about it.karen carrey defiance defeat

Defiance and Defeat
by Karen Carrey

I’ve been reading in Joshua the story of how the Israelites were defeated at Ai, immediately after their resounding victory at Jericho. They couldn’t believe that after such success came crushing defeat. The Lord had led them to defeat Jericho but told them not to take any of the spoils for themselves, because certain items were to be devoted to the Lord. They were explicitly told in Joshua 6:18-19 what the Lord’s command was.

But Achan decided to disobey and take from Jericho some of the items which were to be consecrated to the Lord, and his defiance resulted in the death of himself and his family, just as God had clearly told them would happen if they disobeyed.

God finds Joshua flat on his face wailing and moping after their defeat and basically tells Joshua he can’t expect to be victorious against his enemy whilst disobedience and defiance run rampant in the camp. However he gives them a chance to put it right and come into communion with him again once the sin was purged from among them.

It made me wonder about the sins we try to hide in our own lives, as Achan did, hoping God won’t notice. The things that God can’t bless us in. The things that cause Him to turn His face from us because He is a Holy God. Are we being defeated in areas of our lives and pretending we don’t know why? Are we on our faces crying out to the Lord, “Why me?” when we know we are breaking his commands and breaking His heart? Do we think there are no consequences to our sin? Of course there are. Unless we get before God and confess, seeking his forgiveness, the consequence will be the same as Achan faced. Spiritual and physical death. But our God is as God of forgiveness and if we are truly repentant, he restores us to Himself once again.

Each of us may have our own “accursed thing” that is keeping us from a closer walk with God. Have we gone our own way even though He’s blessed us and given us victory in certain areas of our lives? Have we become cocky in our own strength? Do we think we know better and can flout his commands and expect Him to turn a blind eye? When God gives us his Word, and we deliberately disobey it, we have no excuse. We cannot say “but I didn’t know …” because he makes his expectations very clear in His Word. Whether we like them or not is a different matter. We are to be consecrated and set apart, a holy people, not conformed to this world but transformed by the renewing of our minds. What things do we need to fall on our face before God about, sincerely seeking his forgiveness and help?

God does not bless us with financial gain, perfect health and a bigger house, just because we’re saved or because we speak it into existence with positive words. He promises us that in the final analysis, all things will work together for good (Romans 8:28) but we’re told we will have trouble in this world. The good news is that Christ has overcome the world. Addressing the hidden sin in our lives is not your guarantee to a happy-ever-after on this earth, but it is the key to a closer walk with your Saviour.

It’s important for all of us to turn over to God, those things that we know the Holy Spirit is convicting us of. Flirting with your co-workers is not innocent. Gossiping is not harmless. Arrogance is not becoming. Immodesty is provocative and Jezebel-like. Impatience is not “just the way you are”. Sleeping with your partner just because you’re getting married anyway, is not ok. Seek His Word. Pursue holiness.

Obedience brings victory, but defiance brings defeat.

Lord open our eyes to the accursed things in our own lives that we may gain favour in your eyes and be close to you once again.

–Originally published at Faith and Food Chat, January 27, 2016

Karen Carrey is a 40-something wife and mother of two teenagers. She loves to read, bake, cook, and find like-minded Christian women. She was saved at an early age and continues to work out her salvation with fear and trembling. One of her favorite passages is Isaiah 43:2-4. Karen blogs at Faith and Food Chat.

ALTHOUGH I DO MY BEST TO THOROUGHLY VET THE THEOLOGY OF THE BLOGGERS WHO SUBMIT GUEST POSTS, IT IS ALWAYS POSSIBLE FOR THINGS TO SLIP THROUGH THE CRACKS. PLEASE MAKE SURE ANY BLOGGER YOU FOLLOW, INCLUDING ME, RIGHTLY AND FAITHFULLY HANDLES GOD’S WORD AND HOLDS TO SOUND BIBLICAL DOCTRINE.
Guest Posts

Guest Post: Two Faithful Women

Michelle Lesley

If your theology pretty much matches up with mine (as outlined in the “Welcome” and “Statement of Faith” tabs) and you’d like to contribute a guest post, drop me an e-mail at MichelleLesley1@yahoo.com,
and let’s chat about it.gail slawson two faithful women

Two Faithful Women
by Gail Slawson

Exodus 1:17 “But the midwives feared God.”

A few years ago I embarked on a two year journey to read through the Bible again. Traveling from Genesis into Exodus, two names suddenly appeared on the printed page—two names recorded nowhere else in the Bible, two obscure names, two names of women. How important are these two women who have their names written in God’s Word?

Further study reveals Shiphrah and Puah were midwives, women who assisted in the birth of the babies of the Hebrew women. Most likely they were older women and the representatives of their profession. During their time in Egypt, the Children of Israel grew greatly in number and strength and Pharaoh felt threatened and became fearful. In an attempt to curtail their growth he ordered the midwives to kill all Hebrew boys at birth. Instead of being the ones who were looked up to for their skill and were trusted to take great care in seeing that the lives of these babies were preserved, they were suddenly thrust into the position of being executioners, deceitful and untrustworthy. But these two women who “feared God,” refused to obey such a law. They reverenced God and obeyed Him rather than man (Exodus 1:17). “They obviously understood that children were a gift from God and that murder was wrong.” (John MacArthur) Like the apostles in Acts 5:29 who said, “We must obey God rather than men,” these midwives had the courage to stand alone and do what was right.

Shiphrah and Puah were ordinary women who devoutly did their humble job, and yet they were used of God to preserve and save a nation that the King of Egypt desired to suppress. Do you have a desire to serve God? Whatever role God has given you to perform in this life, do it faithfully and obediently with love and care and God will bless. In fact, as we read on in the story, we see where it says that God looked favorably on the midwives. Exodus 1:20 says, “Therefore, God dealt well with the midwives,” and verse 21 says, “Because the midwives feared God, He established households for them.” God built them up into families, blessed their children, and prospered them in what they did.

What a wonderful example these two midwives are to us to be obedient. God’s Word tells us in Ecclesiastes 9:10:

“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might…”

Again God’s Word says,

“Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.” Colossians 3:17

Enjoy your work, finding pleasure in it as you honor God and are used for His purpose.

Gail is a 68 year old wife, mother and grandmother. She attended church all her life, but never saw herself as a lost sinner in need of a Savior until she was 28 years old. She has praised Him ever since. Gail’s daily prayer is: “But God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Galatians 6:14) Follow Gail’s blog, BibleEncouragement.org.

ALTHOUGH I DO MY BEST TO THOROUGHLY VET THE THEOLOGY OF THE BLOGGERS WHO SUBMIT GUEST POSTS, IT IS ALWAYS POSSIBLE FOR THINGS TO SLIP THROUGH THE CRACKS. PLEASE MAKE SURE ANY BLOGGER YOU FOLLOW, INCLUDING ME, RIGHTLY AND FAITHFULLY HANDLES GOD’S WORD AND HOLDS TO SOUND BIBLICAL DOCTRINE.
Guest Posts

Guest Post: A Clear Window View

Michelle Lesley

If your theology pretty much matches up with mine (as outlined in the “Welcome” and “Statement of Faith” tabs) and you’d like to contribute a guest post, drop me an e-mail at MichelleLesley1@yahoo.com,
and let’s chat about it.debbielynne kespert clear window

A Clear Window View
by DebbieLynn Kespert

As a writer, I sometimes enjoy writing simply for the sake of developing my skill. That sort of journalistic exercise does carry a certain value. Since I write primarily with the purpose of exalting the Lord Jesus Christ, my writing must convey thoughts clearly, intelligently and with enough creativity to grab my readers’ attention and stimulate their thinking.

Along those lines, I remember Professor Nicholas (my favorite English professor in college) telling our Victorian Lit class (or was it our 18th Century Lit class?) that great writing serves as a clear window to ideas rather than drawing attention to itself as a stained glass window does. I’ve carried Professor Nicholas’ analogy with me throughout my adult life, but I’ve especially pondered it in the past few years. I pray regularly about my own blog, and have been asking the Lord to help me write well. That prayer has merit, but only with the qualifier that my writing skills honor Him rather than accentuating whatever talents I might have. Over time, I’ve modified my prayer. Now I ask that I might write well so that my readers can see Him more clearly.

This point of using my writing ability to draw attention to the Lord reminds me of the passage that my husband John and I read during our family devotions a little over a year ago.

19 And this is the testimony of John, when the Jews sent priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, “Who are you?” 20 He confessed, and did not deny, but confessed, “I am not the Christ.” 21 And they asked him, “What then? Are you Elijah?” He said, “I am not.” “Are you the Prophet?” And he answered, “No.” 22 So they said to him, “Who are you? We need to give an answer to those who sent us. What do you say about yourself?” 23 He said, “I am the voice of one crying out in the wilderness, ‘Make straight the way of the Lord,’ as the prophet Isaiah said.”
24 (Now they had been sent from the Pharisees.) 25 They asked him, “Then why are you baptizing, if you are neither the Christ, nor Elijah, nor the Prophet?” 26 John answered them, “I baptize with water, but among you stands one you do not know, 27 even he who comes after me, the strap of whose sandal I am not worthy to untie.” 28 These things took place in Bethany across the Jordan, where John was baptizing. ~~John 1:19-28 (ESV)

When we finished reading, John prayed that he and I would regard ourselves as being unworthy to serve Jesus even in menial tasks. Immediately, I thought about my service to Him through blogging. Was I blogging as a way of showing off my skill at manipulating the English language (thus garnering the admiration of my readers? Or did I recognize how much of an honor it is to serve my Lord through my inadequate words?

And, over a year later, the humility of John the Baptist (coupled with my husband’s humility) challenges me. Do I appreciate the honor of serving the Lord with my writing? Do I worship Him for giving me the ability to make Him known, simply by tapping keys on my computer? What a blessing that He takes my feeble words and shines His magnificence through them!

If, therefore, my writing serves the purposes of His kingdom, it shouldn’t obscure Him with dazzling vocabulary or cleverly turned phrases. (Neither should it muddy Him with lifeless cliches and grammatical errors…but that’s another blog post.) It should clearly display His majesty.

This idea of human endeavor serving as a window to the greatness of the Lord goes far beyond the field of blogging, however. Jesus, for so many reasons, must always command center stage in every situation (Colossians 3:23). Some people (who obviously don’t know Him enough to marvel at His glory) accuse Him of egomania, not really understanding His divine nature nor His ultimate sacrifice on the cross. But those who receive His free gift of salvation know that all blessings, abilities and talents gain their richest meaning by referring back to Him.

DebbieLynne blogs at The Outspoken TULIP with the hope of encouraging women to get grounded in God’s Word. She and her husband and both use power wheelchairs to drive all over Boston, and she types with a headstick. Follow DebbieLynne on Twitter and The Outspoken TULIP on Facebook.

ALTHOUGH I DO MY BEST TO THOROUGHLY VET THE THEOLOGY OF THE BLOGGERS WHO SUBMIT GUEST POSTS, IT IS ALWAYS POSSIBLE FOR THINGS TO SLIP THROUGH THE CRACKS. PLEASE MAKE SURE ANY BLOGGER YOU FOLLOW, INCLUDING ME, RIGHTLY AND FAITHFULLY HANDLES GOD’S WORD AND HOLDS TO SOUND BIBLICAL DOCTRINE.