Church

Throwback Thursday ~ Finding a New Church- Starting from Scratch

Originally published March 29, 2008

When my husband and I have looked for a new church in the past, we’ve had our choices narrowed down for us because we are comfortable in our denomination and are not looking to change. When you’re starting from scratch, you have a lot more choices to wade through, so it can be more difficult. Here are a few guidelines I’d suggest.

1. The absolute most important thing is to find a church that preaches and teaches only what matches up with what the Bible says, and all of what the Bible says. In other words, they shouldn’t be teaching anything that’s clearly contrary to Scripture and they shouldn’t be leaving things out that are unpopular because they’re afraid they won’t attract as many people.

2. Pray about it. Ask God to lead you to exactly the right church in which to serve Him.

3. If you were raised in a particular denomination and felt comfortable in it, that might be a good place to start, either at the same church or a different church of the same denomination.

4. Ask around. Ask Christian friends about their churches and try visiting with them one Sunday. If you end up joining, you have the bonus of already knowing someone.

5. Do your homework. If there’s a particular church or denomination you’re interested in, chances are, they have a web site. There will probably be a section on the web site called “Our Statement of Faith” or something like that. Check that out and make sure all the tenets line up with Scripture. (But do bear in mind a significant number of churches have a perfectly biblical statement of faith “on paper” but they do not adhere to it in practice, or they are unbiblical in an area the statement of faith doesn’t cover. The best a statement of faith can do for you is to weed out some of the really bad churches. It’s not a guarantee that a church is good.) A lot of churches also have their pastor’s sermons and/or their music on line, so you can get a feel for how things go on Sundays. You’ll also be able to find out when services start, what kinds of programs are available, whether or not they have a nursery, etc.

6. “Interview” churches. Most pastors I know would be thrilled to death if a prospective visitor would call up and make an appointment to come in and talk to them about the church. Ask him whatever you want, find out what’s required for membership, share your concerns, etc. He should be able to answer your queries openly and honestly. I would be very leery about attending a church if the pastor seemed secretive about general doctrinal issues, his own background, or church activities. Sometimes just meeting with the pastor will give you an idea of whether or not you want to give the church a try.

7. Try it on for size. You might fall in love with the first church you try, or it might be like shoe shopping and you have to try several before you find one that fits.

Don’t give up. God has a place for you somewhere.


Additional Resources

Searching for a new church? Lots of great church search engines, plus check out the “What to look for in a church” section, especially if you’re a new Believer or coming out of an unbiblical church background.

How Can I Find a Good Church?ย 

7 Reasons Church is Not Optional and Non-Negotiable for Christians

Uncategorized

The Word on Wednesdays

Hi ladies! I hope you enjoyed our most recent Bible study, Judges, and that youโ€™re looking forward to our new study as much as I am.

Iโ€™ll be taking a break for a few more weeks getting ready for our new study. I hope youโ€™ll enjoy it and that it will edify you as you seek to grow in Christ and His Word. (The picture above does not mean we will be studying James. :0) Stay tuned, and keep an eye on the blog on Wednesdays.

In the meantime, I’ll be posting some articles from the archives that I think youโ€™ll find helpful as we make our way toward our next study. Here is this weekโ€™s article:

Wednesday’s Word

Wednesday is Bible study day here on the blog. In my Wednesday’s Word Bible study series youโ€™ll find miscellaneous, one lesson Bible studies from each book of the Bible. One chapter of Scripture followed by study questions. This sampler series demonstrates that thereโ€™s nothing to be afraid of when approaching those โ€œlesser knownโ€ books and that every book of the Bible is valuable and worth studying.

Wednesday’s Word ~ Habakkuk 2

I will take my stand at my watchpost
    and station myself on the tower,
and look out to see what he will say to me,
    and what I will answer concerning my complaint.

2ย And theย Lordย answered me… Continue Reading…

Discernment, Speaking Engagements

Report Back & Video: Sister 2 Sister Meeting

Over the weekend, I had the pleasure of speaking live, via Zoom, to Church of the Open Door’s quarterly Sister 2 Sister women’s meeting, held in Fayetteville, North Carolina.

As this was sort of a “micro-conference,” I taught for about 30 minutes on the topic of Discernment, followed by about 30 minutes of Q&A with some super questions from the ladies in attendance.

If you’d like to watch the video,
please click here.

If you’d like to access the handout that goes with
the teaching session, please click here.

Articles / resources mentioned or touched on in the video:

What is the New Apostolic Reformation?

Is She a False Teacher? 7 Steps to Figuring it Out on Your Own

The Mailbag: Potpourri (…Heretical book disposal) (I think this is the article I was thinking of and mentioned in answer to the first Q&A question.)

Women Preaching: Itโ€™s Not a Secondary Doctrinal Issue

Learning from the Sins of Others: Ravi Zacharias

Recommended Bible Teachers

Answering the Opposition- Responses to the Most Frequently Raised Discernmentย Objections #3, 8

Popular False Teachers & Unbiblical Trends

Tony Evans

Why Our Church No Longer Plays Bethel or Hillsong Music (or Elevation or Jesus Culture), and Neither Should Yours

The Mailbag: False Doctrine in Contemporary Christianย Music


If your church or organization is ever in need of a speaker for a womenโ€™s event, Iโ€™d love to come share with your ladies as well. Click here for more information.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: Is it OK for women to teach the children’s sermon?

What your views are on a woman giving a childrenโ€™s talk as part of an all age service? I am part of our childrenโ€™s ministry team, and did the Bible talk at our recent Christmas family service. It was a talk aimed at the children, and delivered to them, although it was an all age service, and the gospel message is always for everyone. Would this be ok? My understanding has always been that a womanโ€™s ministry within the church can be to children or to other women, and under the authority of men.

Great question! It’s always good to examine the things we do – even after the fact – in light of Scripture. Just because your pastor, husband, or someone else in authority tells you it’s biblically OK, doesn’t necessarily mean it is. And if even if it is biblically OK, you shouldn’t be doing it if it means violating your conscience.

For those who might not be familiar with what this reader is referring to, a word of explanation: Some churches, as a part of their regular Sunday worship service and/or Christmas Eve service, set aside a few minutes for a talk aimed at children, or a “children’s sermon”. Normally, the pastor (or sometimes the children’s director, or a children’s teacher) will sit down on the edge of the platform and invite all the children in the sanctuary to come sit around him. He tells a brief story or illustration with a simple spiritual point, asks a question or two, sends them back to their seats, and the worship service commences.

So, is it OK if a leader in the children’s ministry who’s a woman, gives the children’s sermon, since there are grown men in the congregation who are watching and listening? Does this violate Scripture’s prohibition against women instructing men in the Scriptures during the gathering of the church body?

(At this point, some may be wondering if it’s even biblical for a woman to serve as a children’s director. Short answer: Yes, as long as Scriptural parameters are observed. Longer answer: Click here – #21)

I’m going to land on “no” on this one. Not because it’s a direct violation of 1 Timothy 2:12, but for several other reasons:

I don’t know who invented the children’s sermon or what his (or her) rationale was, but where is the biblical support or command for this practice, regardless of who’s teaching it? We don’t see it in New Testament narrative accounts of the church. We don’t see it instructed or practiced in the epistles. And we sure don’t see any sort of counterpart to it in Old Testament descriptions of temple worship.

Some would probably cite the “let the little children come to Me” incident in the gospels, but here’s why that passage doesn’t work to support the practice of children’s sermons:

  • it’s a descriptive passage (a description of what happened), not a prescriptive passage (a command or instruction to be obeyed)
  • the parents spontaneously brought their children to Jesus for him to bless them and pray for them – it wasn’t a time of teaching or a children’s “sermon”
  • it wasn’t part of a worship service
  • the church didn’t exist yet
  • your pastor (or children’s ministry workers) isn’t Jesus

Children’s sermons during the worship service are unnecessary:

  • “But it gives the children an age-appropriate Bible lesson!” That’s your job, Mom and Dad. You are supposed to be the primary teachers and disciplers of your children. Age-appropriate Bible lessons are also what Sunday School and children’s discipleship classes are for.

  • “But it gives the children a part of the worship service they can understand!” Take it from a veteran mom – your children understand a whole lot more than you give them credit for. Set the bar high and help them reach it, don’t dumb things down for them.

  • “But it makes the children feel like a part of the worship service!” The biblically appropriate way to do that is to train them for worship. Help them learn the songs that will be sung so they can join in the singing. Show them where to find the sermon passage in their Bible. Devise a simple way for them to take notes. Train them to pray.
  • “But it makes the children feel like they’re special to the pastor when he takes time out of the worship service just for them!” Making a certain sector of the congregation feel like they’re special to the pastor – where does the Bible say that’s one of the purposes of a worship service? Besides, there are plenty of other ways to accomplish this. The pastor can guest teach or just drop by the children’s Sunday School class occasionally, take the time to talk to kids in the hall or before or after church, or participate in other children’s activities. The purpose of a worship service is not for any of us to feel special, it’s to focus all our energy on worshiping God. That’s the lesson we need to be teaching the kids.

Children’s sermons during the worship service are a disruption. They not only disrupt the flow of the worship service for the entire congregation, but as most moms can tell you, they get the kids all stirred up. Just when you’ve managed to get Junior all settled in and sitting quietly, it’s time to jump up, run down to the front of the sanctuary, wiggle around and poke and play with the other kids for about two minutes while the children’s sermon is going on, and then run back to mom and dad. Then you’ve got to start the settling down process all over again. And heaven help you if whoever’s doing the children’s sermon passes out candy at the end of it.

As I was putting this article together, I bounced it off one of my pastors, Laramie Minga, whose area of focus is worship1. He raised a couple of good points:

  • “The children’s sermon teaches a consumer mindset.”
    I agree. It subtly imparts the message to kids that they should expect to be pandered to and that the worship service (or at least that part of it) is about them, and making them happy, not about worshiping God.

    I also think a valid argument could be made that setting aside part of the worship service for a certain segment of the congregation crosses the line into showing partiality, which we’re commanded in James not to do.
  • “When the children’s sermon comes from a woman, it conditions the children to find it acceptable to be taught or preached to by a woman in the worship service when they grow up.”
    I can’t argue with that. And in this day and age of biblical illiteracy and the rampant conflation of everything under the sun, if the church where the children’s sermon (taught by a woman) holds an anemic or unclear position on the role of women in the church, the adults in the congregation who don’t know their Bibles well on this issue are not going to draw a distinction between a woman teaching the children’s sermon and a woman preaching the regular sermon to the whole congregation: “What’s the difference between her preaching to the children in our hearing and her preaching the real sermon to all of us?” they surmise.

So, should a woman be teaching the children’s sermon? I would have to answer your question with one of my own: Why are we even having children’s sermons as part of the worship service?


1Laramie (along with Scott Aniol, Josh Buice, Matt Sikes, and Owen Strachan) will be teaching at G3’s upcoming Biblical worship workshop, February 8-9. I highly recommend it for any pastor or potential pastor (it’s open to men only).


If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (Iโ€™ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Complementarianism, Podcast Appearances

Podcast Guest Appearance – Servants of Grace

Before all the hubbub of the holidays, I had the pleasure of sitting down for a chat with Dave Jenkins of the Servants of Grace podcast.

Listen in (or watch and listen above) as we delve into the issue of women pastors and why this is such a blight on the modern day church, how the church can support women and foster Titus 2 relationships, and more!

Be sure to check out all of the materials, podcasts, and other contributors at the Servants of Grace website, and find their social media links so you can give them a follow. Also, go subscribe to the Servants of Grace YouTube channel so you’ll never miss an episode, or add it to your queue on your favorite podcast platform.

Articles / resources mentioned or touched on in the episode:

Bible Studies

Speaking Engagements

Rock Your Role: Jill in the Pulpit

Let Me Count the Ways: 75 Ways Women Can Biblically Minister to Others

The Servanthood Survey

A Word Fitly Spoken Podcast

Contact & Social Media

Searhing for a new church?


Got a podcast of your own or have a podcasting friend who needs a guest? Need a speaker for a womenโ€™s conference or church event? Click the โ€œSpeaking Engagementsโ€ tab in the blue menu bar at the top of this page, drop me an e-mail, and letโ€™s chat!