I am married with two children, and my husband and I had always planned to have as many children as God gave us. I had an emergency cesarean with my first child. During the delivery of my second child, I had signs of uterine rupture and was rushed to the OR. My son was delivered via cesarean as my uterus was tearing open along the incision. I hemorrhaged severely during the surgery and required a blood transfusion.
I asked my doctor what she thought about another pregnancy and she said she thought one more pregnancy would “not be taking an unreasonable amount of risk,” but that every cesarean is higher risk than the one before and most doctors advise against having more than three.
Should I risk getting pregnant again? If I do get pregnant, should I get my tubes tied during the delivery? What does God think of tying tubes? Should I have as many children as God gives us despite the risks?
This is a great question, and one I want to answer very carefully. It would be foolish of me to say, “Yes, have as many children as possible,” because I’m not a doctor and that advice could kill you. It would likewise be foolish to tell you not to get pregnant again because your doctor seems to have indicated that it would probably be OK to do so. This is a decision you and your husband will have to make.
What I can do is hopefully provide you with a few biblical tools you can use to help make that decision.
♦ Pray. God tells us if we lack wisdom to ask Him for it and He’ll give it to us. Pray for your doctors, pray for your husband, and pray for yourself during this decision-making time.
♦ Modern medicine is a blessing of God. Listen to your doctor. Get a second and third opinion if you want. See a specialist. Do some research. Be completely convinced, medically, of whether or not one or more additional pregnancies is wise.
♦ The Bible obviously doesn’t speak to the issue of tubal ligation (having your tubes tied). It neither advocates for nor prohibits non-abortive forms of birth control, especially in cases in which a pregnancy might be medically dangerous. Therefore, this is left to the conscience of Christian couples. Here are some resources that may be helpful:
What does the Bible say about permanent forms of birth control such as a tubal ligation or vasectomy? at Got Questions
What does the Bible teach about birth control? at Grace To You
Does the Bible permit birth control? by Matt Perman
♦ Count the cost. Are you prepared for the fact that you or your baby could die during the pregnancy or delivery? You have two children and a husband who need you. Are they willing to risk life without you and/or the baby? Conversely, are you prepared to accept being the mother of only two children? If not, why not?
♦ Talk it out with your pastor or some spiritually mature friends if you feel comfortable doing so. Sometimes just hashing everything out verbally can help bring clarity. Pastors and godly friends can provide wise counsel. It’s your pastor’s responsibility to care for your soul and point you to God’s word. Additionally, he may have some helpful resources for you.
♦ This is one of those situations in which submission to your husband can be extremely freeing for you. Ultimately, this is your husband’s decision. The two of you should pray, go over the medical research, and discuss things together, but the final decision rests with your husband. That takes the load of responsibility off your shoulders and places it where it belongs- on him.
Take all of these things into prayerful consideration, make a decision, and trust that when God says He’ll give you wisdom, He will.
If you have a question about: a well known Christian author/leader, a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.
Michelle Lesley 