Christian women, Church, Complementarianism, Men, Tough Passages, Women

Adam 3.0: Meanwhile, Back in the Garden, It’s Deja Vu All Over Again

I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.

1 Timothy 2:12-14

Because it’s my passion to see Christian women become holy, passionate, obedient disciples of Jesus Christ, I’ve dealt with this passage a lot and done a lot of research on it. Scripture is crystal clear that women are not to instruct men in the Scriptures in the church in the capacity of pastor or teacher, nor are they to hold authority over men in other positions in the church. (I’ve outlined Scripture’s case for this here if you’d like to do some further study.) And, unfortunately, there are many women in the church who are disobeying this Scripture (I used to be one of them)– some out of rebellion, and some out of ignorance. But until recently, I –and every other piece of information I’ve studied on the subject– have dealt with the issue of women stepping outside their God-ordained role in the church strictly as a women’s issue.

A few days ago, a friend of mine asked for my opinion on a Q&A video produced by a well known pastor. The pastor was asked, “Is it a sin for men to listen to women speakers [female Christian conference speakers, pastors, teachers, etc.]?”

And that’s when it hit me. I’d never heard this question addressed, or even asked, before. First Timothy 2:12ff is always dealt with from the perspective of women and towards women – that this is a women’s sin issue.

But to treat this role rebellion strictly as the sin of women is to pour gasoline on the fire. If it’s a singularly women’s problem, then it naturally falls on women with a right understanding of God’s Word on the issue to deal with it, right? And if these women are the ones who have to confront and deal with this sin, even at the local church level, they’re being placed smack dab in the misappropriated role they’re trying to fight because they’re being asked to do the job of elders and pastors whose responsibility it is to maintain order and discipline in the church.

In other words, when it’s time to deal with the sin of role busting, don’t send a woman in to do a man’s job.

When it’s time to deal with the sin of role busting, don’t send a woman in to do a man’s job.

The fact that there’s even a need for an article like this, never mind that a woman is writing it, is indicative of the pervasiveness of the problem. Why do we so rarely hear pastors or other Christian men exhorting men in the church to stand on God’s Word, properly fill out their own role in the church, and also deal with the problem of female disobedience to this Scripture? Why are Christian men becoming accomplices to women’s sin by seeking out female pastors and teachers to be their spiritual leaders? I believe there are three reasons:

The fact that there’s even a need for an article like this, never mind that a woman is writing it, is indicative of the pervasiveness of the problem.

1.
Adam 3.0

Give Genesis 3–the story of the Fall–a read through the lenses of 1 Timothy 2:12. See any similarities between what happened in the Garden and what’s happening in the church?

The man is off somewhere, not fulfilling his role of spiritual guardian, leader, and protector, leaving the woman alone and vulnerable to Satan’s attack. Satan tempts the woman to sin and she succumbs. The woman then entices the man to sin, and instead of standing on God’s Word, refusing to sin, and correcting her, he actually joins her in her sin. And when God calls the man to account for this whole scenario, what does the man do? He blames the woman.

Was Eve responsible for her decision to sin? Of course. That’s why we even have 1 Timothy 2:12-14 in the Bible. But God gave the man the authority and God held the man ultimately responsible. That’s why we see passages like Romans 5:12-14 (and others) attributing the sin in the Garden to Adam rather than Eve.

While there are many faithful pastors and Christian men out there diligently laboring to be godly teachers and leaders in the church–and praise God for those men!–there is a large and increasing number of men in our churches, both pastors and laymen, who are failing to fulfill the role God has called men to in the church. Pastors who will only preach what tickles people’s ears. Men who sit in the pews refusing to teach or serve or lead or even attend faithfully.

As it was in the Garden, these Christian men are nowhere to be found as Satan creeps into the church and attacks women with this temptation. And, as God called out then, could He be calling out now, “אָדָם, – Adam- Man, where are you“?

As God called out then, could He be calling out now, “אָדָם, – Adam- Man, where are you”?

2.
Men are lazy.

I know that sounds harsh, but before all the brothers get their boxers in a bunch, please hear what I’m not saying. I’m not saying that all men are lazy or that women are never lazy or that men are lazy in every aspect of their lives. What I’m saying is that, in this particular instance of women stepping outside God’s role for them in the church, too many men are sitting back with the attitude that, hey, if somebody else is willing to do the work why not let her? Instead, women (not to mention boys and younger men) should be seeing men in the church step up and say, “I’ll study hard so I’ll be equipped to teach that class.” “I’ll preach the sermon, not my wife.” “I’ll be willing to shoulder the load God has given me instead of pushing it off on a woman.”

Women (not to mention boys and younger men) need to see men in the church step up and say, “I’ll be willing to shoulder the load God has given me instead of pushing it off on a woman.”.

3.
Men are afraid of women. 

Not afraid of them physically, but afraid of the ones who will make a scene, cause strife, split churches, get pastors fired, and generally make life hell on earth for anyone who dares to put his foot down firmly on the Word of God and say, “You’re in disobedience. You need to repent and step down.” I know these women (and, of course, there are men who do this, too). I have had plenty of them come after me, and, having a husband who’s been in ministry for over 20 years, I’ve seen plenty of them attack pastors, staff, deacons, etc., and I don’t blame men for feeling scared. But Jesus has called men to defend His Bride from all enemies, both foreign and domestic, and feeling scared doesn’t excuse them from doing what’s right and biblical. Would that godly men would look to the courage Jesus exhibited on His way to the cross. That they would look at Peter, Paul, James, and the other apostles as their example of valor, as these forebears in the faith chose flogging, hardship, jail, and martyrdom over compromising the Word of God.

Would that godly men would look to the courage Jesus exhibited at the cross. That they would look at Peter, Paul, James, and the other apostles who chose flogging, hardship, jail, and martyrdom over compromising the Word of God.

Churches don’t need pastors who are afraid to rock the boat, even if that’s what the church seems to want. Churches need a man who will stand for Christ and His Word, no matter the cost to him personally or vocationally. A pastor can’t call his people to do that in their own lives if he isn’t willing to do it in his, knowing that the God who was strong enough to save him out of the pit of Hell is strong enough to find him another job and provide for his family if it comes to that. We need pastors who are faithful to preach and carry out the Word in season and out of season, trusting Almighty God to have their backs.

Churches don’t need pastors who are afraid to rock the boat, even if that’s what the church seems to want.

God has given women a phenomenal, and much needed, role in the church. He has given men a different, yet equally phenomenal and much needed role in the church. For the local church to function in a healthy way, both men and women have to fill out our own roles correctly. And women can’t and shouldn’t have to do the job of godly men in addition to our own.

Women can’t and shouldn’t have to do the job of godly men in addition to our own.

Some might regard my tone here as stringent. Peter, Paul and the other apostles probably raised some eyebrows when they used a stringent tone, too. But when a house is burning down, the fireman doesn’t tiptoe in, hand you flowers, and politely request that you, pretty please, come with him. And that’s where we are in the church. The house is burning down around us. And, in the end, this article is not meant to be a castigation of pastors or other Christian men, but an impassioned plea from a church lady who wants to see her sisters make it out alive.

Help us. Please. Despite what some professing Christian women might say, we, and the body of Christ, desperately need our brothers to be the heroic men of God that they have the right, the calling, and the responsibility to be.

Women, and the body of Christ, desperately need our brothers to be the heroic men of God that they have the right, the calling, and the responsibility to be.

Church, Sunday School, Women

Godly Womanhood – God’s Role for Women in the Church ~ Sunday School Lesson ~ 12-22-13

sunday schoolThese are my notes from my ladies’ Sunday School class this morning. I’ll be posting the notes from my class here each week. Click here for the previous lesson.

Godly Womanhood – God’s Role for Women in the Church
1 Timothy 2

Review/overview of God’s structure for leadership:

Creative Order (Genesis 2-3):

1. Man was created first, then woman.

2. Man was given responsibility, position, and instruction before woman was created.

3. Woman was created to be a helper.

Marriage Order (Ephesians 5:22-33, 1 Peter 3:1-7, 1 Corinthians 7):

Reflects and builds on the Creative Order:

1. Consistency with Creative account

We do not see a reversal or equalizing of roles in the New Testament’s teaching on the roles of men and women in marriage. The marriage roles continue to be understood basically as they have been since Creation.

2. Conformity to God’s original plan in the Creative account

Not only do we see consistency with the Creative account, we also see a reiteration and fleshing out (with more specifics) of God’s original plan for the roles of men and women. Men have primary leadership/responsibility, women play a supporting role. Eph. 5:31 even quotes Gen. 2:24.

Reflects the relationship between Christ and His church:

1. Christ –the bridegroom- is the head of the church –the bride- as the husband is the head of the wife. (Ephesians 5:23-24, Matthew 9:15, John 3:29, 2 Corinthians 11:2, Revelation 19:7, 21:9)

2. The wife is to submit to her husband as the church is to submit to Christ.

God’s pattern- in the Creative order, the marriage order, and the bride of Christ order – is that the male is in the primary role of leadership, and the female is in the support role. What do you think He will say about the roles of men and women in church leadership in 1 Timothy 2?

Seeing that established pattern, would it make any sense for God to break that pattern, especially in His bride, the church, and establish an order opposing this pattern, in which women have authority over men in the pastoral/teaching/leadership roles of the church?

8- Paul sets the tone of the passage as primarily a leadership “do” for men.

Not primarily a “don’t” for women, this is secondary. He begins by telling men to stand up and take responsibility in the church. Men- take the initiative and lead, don’t shirk leadership responsibilities.

9-10- Two “do’s” for women: modesty and good works.

Women also have responsibilities here. Clothing/apparel is to be modest physically and in “showiness.” We are to adorn (arrange, put in order, make ready) ourselves with good works. We don’t “sound a trumpet” (Matt. 6:2-4) about our good works—that’s immodest. We are to let our reputation for good works precede us. Good works should “wear us” rather than us “wearing” (flaunting) them.

Notice again the emphasis and tone that has been set here. This is primarily a “do” passage, secondarily a “don’t” passage, but we often focus on the “don’t” to the exclusion of the “do.” Men are to stand up and take the leadership responsibility in the church, and women are to be busy about doing good works.

11- Women are to be taught God’s word.

Emphasis here is primarily on “let” secondarily on “quietness and submission”. Paul is commanding that women be taught, a somewhat new concept for 1st century Jewish/secular culture. Women were often not deemed important enough to be taught, nor capable of learning.

But they were not to find themselves lifted out of one ditch- undervalued- only to jump into the ditch on the other side of the road- domineering. Women are to learn respectfully and submit to the role God has assigned us.

12- Women are not to teach men or exercise authority (leadership) over them in the church setting.

This includes Bible teaching (small groups, classes), preaching, various leadership roles. Men are to assume the responsibility for these roles. Not only is this biblical, but it frees women up to do the good works God has called us to adorn ourselves with.

13-14- Why? The answer goes back to Creation.

Paul does not give current culture as the reason for God’s instruction that women are not to teach/exercise authority over men, though many today argue this. Nor was the reason that women are dumb or incapable, nor because men are smarter. The bedrock reason is 1- God set it up that way at Creation for HIS reasons (we don’t have to understand, just trust and obey) and 2- Eve was deceived. 2 Timothy 3:1-7.

Just as God put Even in the Garden with a myriad of options and delights, with one restriction, so God puts women in the church with plenty of opportunities to serve Him, yet one restriction: leadership/teaching/preaching is reserved to men. That does not make God unfair or sexist. He is in charge. He gets to make the rules. He is God. We are not. Are we going to be like our mother, Eve, and step over God to steal the fruit He has forbidden us, or will we instead spend our time delighting in all the other options for serving that He provides us?

15- One opportunity for serving God that He has set aside especially for women: raising up the next generation of godly men and women.

From the note on this verse from the MacArthur Study Bible (ESV):

“Paul is not advocating that women are eternally saved from sin through childbearing or that they maintain their salvation by having babies, both of which would be clear contradictions of the NT teaching of salvation by grace alone through faith alone sustained forever. Paul is teaching that even though a woman bears the stigma of being the initial instrument who led the race into sin, it is women through childbearing who may be preserved or freed from that stigma by raising a generation of godly children. Because mothers have a unique bond and intimacy with their children, and spend far more time with them than do fathers, they have far greater influence in their lives and thus a unique responsibility and opportunity for rearing godly children. While a woman may have led the human race into sin, women have the privilege of leading many out of sin to godliness. Paul is speaking in general terms; God does not want all women to be married, let alone bear children.”

Additional Resources:

Women in the Local Church by Lindsey Carlson

Women in Ministry at CARM.org

What Roles Can Women Fulfill in Ministry? by GotQuestions.org

Faith, Sin

Repeating Wrongs Renders Right?

“Four hundred thirty seven.”

“Sorry, that’s not right. Try again, Buddy.”

scribble scribble scribble

“Oh, ok. Four hundred thirty seven.

“No, Honey. You just said that, and I just told you it was wrong. Give it another try.”

“But it’s 437!”

“Son, I have the answer book right here in front of me. The answer is not 437. Repeating the wrong answer over and over again doesn’t magically make it right.”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had this conversation -nearly verbatim- with each of my four children in the fourteen years I’ve been home schooling.

But I can tell you that this morning was the first time I realized that this is the same way many people relate to God and the Bible.

When this dialogue takes place between my child and me, it is because the child has done something wrong. He has forgotten to carry the one. Confused a peninsula with an isthmus. Mistaken an adverb for an adjective.

But he can’t see what he’s done wrong, or indeed, that he’s done anything wrong. And because he’s blind to his wrongness, his default position is to assume that he is right and I am wrong. Forget that he’s in fifth grade and I have a bachelor’s degree, half a master’s degree, and nearly two decades of teaching experience. Never mind that this is the fourth time I’ve taught fifth grade from this very same book. Completely disregarded is the fact that I have the teacher key right in front of me that shows exactly what he did wrong and what the right answer is.

No. He’s right. I’m wrong. The book is wrong. Math is stupid.

Foolishness is indeed bound up in the heart of a child.

But foolishness is bound up in all of our hearts when it comes to sin:

“My husband doesn’t treat me right.
God wouldn’t want me to be miserable
for the rest of my life, so my relationship
with the guy at work is just fine.”

“What the Bible says about
homosexuality only had to do
with male cult prostitutes, so my
monogamous homosexual relationship
with my partner isn’t a sin.”

“I’ve gone to church all my life.
Once, I even repeated a ‘sinner’s
prayer’ and was baptized. It doesn’t
matter what my life looks like now,
I’m sure I’m saved because of that.”

“The Bible says women aren’t
to instruct men in the church?
But I feel that God has called me
to be a pastor, so that verse must
not mean what it clearly says.”

Over and over we say it, hoping to convince ourselves, to drown out God’s law that’s written on our hearts, and to shout down anyone who would call us to repentance. Because we’re blind to our wrongness, our default position is to assume that we’re right and God, and His Word, are wrong. Never mind the fact that He’s God -Creator of the entire universe, knows everything, sees everything, has power over everything, and is perfect in holiness- and we’re, well… not.

No. We’re right. He’s wrong. The Bible is wrong. People who agree with God’s Word are just haters.

But, just like I tell my children: repeating the wrong answer over and over again doesn’t magically make it right.  When each of us stands before God on the day of judgment, it’s not going to matter how many times we’ve tried to convince ourselves, others, and God that our way is right. It’s only going to matter what God says is right.

There is a way that seems right to a man,
but its end is the way to death.
Proverbs 14:12