Faith – Michelle Lesley

It’s that time of year again, ladies.🙂

Originally published February 27, 2017

Foreword: I re-run this article every year in late winter / early spring. And every year, there are a handful of my followers who get mad that I don’t simply say, “No. It is not OK for Christian women to wear bikinis.”

If you’re one of those people, you’re missing the point of this article.

It’s easy to throw out a hard and fast law. It’s not so easy – especially for new Christians and those who come from a background of legalism – to practice biblical decision-making, a skill all Christians need to hone and implement in every area of our lives.

This article is a teaching moment. It’s an opportunity for women to take a fairly easy question that they pretty much already know the answer to and learn how to go through the steps to arriving at a biblical answer.

Remember back in school when your math teacher would make you show your work? She did that because getting the right answer is only a part of problem solving. Understanding and correctly doing all the steps – in order – to arrive at the right answer is the bulk of what she was trying to teach you. This is a “show your work” kind of article.

Summer is just around the corner, so a lot of women will soon be shopping for swimwear. With regard to modesty- do you think it’s OK for Christian women to wear bikinis?

I’m trying to remember back to the days when I might have actually considered – without doubling over in laughter – wearing a bikini. It was a really long time ago. Young, svelte sisters, if I may bring you a bit of comfort- you won’t have to grapple with this question for the rest of your life. As your other older sisters and I can attest, one day, age-appropriateness, your figure, sun exposure, and the desire not to frighten people will make this decision for you long before you have to consider modesty as part of the equation. It’s one of the blessings of getting older.

Just to make sure we’re all on the same page here, let’s quickly define our terms. When I say “bikini,” I’m talking about the fabric equivalent of a bra and panties, not swimwear that covers a lot more yet comes in two pieces.

bikini

not bikinis

Generally speaking, I don’t think bikinis are wise in public unless you’re wearing a shirt or some kind of cover up over it. I’m reluctant to make a hard and fast law about it, though, because, as I’m sure you’re aware, the Bible doesn’t say “Thou shalt not wear a bikini.” (My husband would like to chime in here and says, “However, if you and your husband have a private place for just the two of you to swim or sunbathe, go for it!” You’re welcome, guys.)

A law is a fast and easy “yes” or “no” answer to our question- which is often what our flesh wants, because our flesh is lazy.
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As with various other issues, the Bible gives us a general principle (in this case about dressing modestly) and we work out our own salvation in our own cultural context according to all pertinent biblical principles and our own consciences. A law is a fast and easy “yes” or “no” answer to our question- which is often what our flesh wants, because our flesh is lazy. But what God wants Christians to do is study His Word about the issue, pray, and ask Him for wisdom to make a godly decision. When we work through this process, it helps us to develop a greater desire to be conformed to the image of Christ and to be obedient to Him.

What God wants Christians to do is study His Word about the issue, pray, and ask Him for wisdom to make a godly decision.
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Let’s take a look at just one passage of Scripture that could be helpful in this regard:

3Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
Philippians 2:3-8

So, at first glance, you might wonder, “What in the world does this passage have to do with wearing a bikini?” It doesn’t have anything to do with the bikini itself, it zeros in on your heart (Why do you want to wear a bikini?) and your sanctification (Will wearing a bikini make me more Christlike?).

Verse 3a:
Examine your heart- could your motive for wearing a bikini be classified as selfish ambition or vain conceit? Is it possible you want to show your body off to men to appear desirable, or to women to make them jealous?

Verse 3b-4:
Is this a situation in which you should humble yourself and put the interests of those men who might be tempted to lust or those women who might be tempted to covet ahead of your own desire to appear attractive?

Verse 5:
Do you truly desire to have the same mindset as Christ- about this issue and all others?

Verse 6-8:
How did Jesus approach life, according to these verses? He set aside His own rights and privileges (6), He took on the role of a servant (7), He humbled Himself and was obedient to the point of death (8).

When it comes to wearing a bikini, are you willing to have the same mindset as Christ? To set aside your own rights and privileges, be a servant to others, humble yourself, and obey Christ even to the point of death?

These are not questions God wants me to answer for you. These are questions He wants you to come to Him and answer, because He wants your heart. And He wants you to examine your heart and see if it belongs to Him in this area.

Additional Resources:

Is it Okay for Christian Women to Wear Bikinis? at When We Understand the Text

Modesty, parts 1, 2, & 3 at A Word Fitly Spoken

If you’re looking for modest swimwear – even swim dresses – there are several online companies, such as Calypsa, that may have what you’re looking for. Try searching “modest swimwear”. Have you already found a great company you love? Suggest it in the comments below!

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Relationships, Sanctification

Throwback Thursday ~ In Defense of Offense: Why Christians Need to Stop Worrying About Offending People

July 10, 2025July 10, 2025 Michelle Lesley

Originally published January 18, 2019

“You’re a liar,” he said dryly, the passion in his eyes gleaming through.

“What?!?! HOW DARE YOU call me a liar!” his fellow church member fumed.

“You’re a liar, Joe. You show up at church for an hour a week and claim to be a Christian, yet you’ve been living with your girlfriend for over a year, you’ve told me you use pornography, and I’ve talked to five different people with incontrovertible evidence that you’ve cheated in your business dealings with them. When you say you’re a Christian, you’re lying. Just admit it.”

Have you ever had a conversation like this with someone? Have you ever witnessed a conversation like this?

Most of us would never dream of calling someone a liar who claims to be a Christian yet walks in disobedience to Christ. Goodness, no! It might offend the person or cause her to question her salvation! She might leave the church or walk away from the faith!

You know who wouldn’t be afraid of offending such a person or causing her to doubt her salvation? Someone who would dream of calling a professed Christian walking in disobedience a liar?

The Holy Spirit – via the Apostle John – that’s who.

Whoever says “I know [Jesus]” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him, but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him: whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which [Jesus] walked.
1 John 2:4-6

Take a moment and let that really sink in. People who claim to be Christians yet habitually and unrepentantly make a practice of sinning are not saved.

People who claim to be Christians yet habitually and unrepentantly make a practice of sinning are not saved.
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To the Holy Spirit and John that’s as plain and simple and uncontroversial as saying, “The sky is blue, and water’s wet.” But to a false convert, them’s fightin’ words.

And we know it.

So we refrain from lovingly speaking hard, biblical truths to people who need to hear them, usually for one of a handful of reasons:

• We don’t want this person’s wrath aimed at us because it’s a hassle or because we don’t want to lose the relationship with her.

• We don’t actually believe the Bible and trust God’s sovereignty. We’d rather lean on our own understanding, desperately clinging to the irrational hope that this person is truly a Christian who’s hanging by a thread, and we don’t want to be the one responsible for saying anything that might clip that thread.

• We’re worried about how we’ll look to others and that they’ll accuse us of being unloving, unchristlike, and harming the unity of the church.

What do those reasons have in common?

Me. Me me me me me me me.

I want to keep my relationship with this person in tact. I don’t want others to blame me for this person’s reaction to biblical truth or call me unloving or divisive. I don’t want to deal with the aggravation of this person’s emotional blow up.

It’s not exactly the greater love of laying down one’s life for a friend, is it? We’re not even willing to lay down our comfort or our reputation in order to tell someone her walk doesn’t match her talk and call her to repentance. Is that love at all, or is it just plain, old fashioned selfishness? We bow and scrape at the idol of not hurting other people’s feelings while those people careen down the road paved with our good intentions straight toward the gates of Hell. How is that love?

We bow and scrape at the idol of not hurting other people’s feelings while those people careen down the road paved with our good intentions straight toward the gates of Hell. How is that love?
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Love is valuing, and acting on, what is best for another person over and above our own self interests. You know, kind of like Jesus did during His life, death, and resurrection:

By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.
1 John 3:16

You know, it’s interesting that the Holy Spirit speaks a lot of hard, “you’re not saved if…” truths in a book (1 John) whose purpose is to give true Christians assurance of their salvation. The Third Person of the Trinity – the embodiment of perfect love – doesn’t seem to think it’s unloving to tell false converts they aren’t saved, while at the same time reassuring young, shaky-kneed saints.

But us? We can’t seem to get our act together and do both from a heart of love the way the Holy Spirit does.

We’ve focused so much attention on reassuring anyone who claims the label “Christian” of their eternal security that we’ve lost sight of the fact that there are a great many false converts in our midst who should be questioning their salvation. The gate is wide that leads to destruction, Jesus said. It is the narrow gate that leads to life, and few are those who find it. Test yourself to see if you’re in the faith. How will they know these things if we don’t tell them?

The Bible has hard, sharp edges. It’s a sword, for crying out loud, not a feather duster. The primary purpose of a sword is to cut.

The gospel divides. Jesus – the creator of Christian unity – said, “I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.” Jesus – perfectly kind, perfectly loving Jesus – called those claiming to be God’s people yet walking in disobedience hypocrites, vipers, and sons of the Devil. Jesus – the Jesus who was more compassionately evangelistic than we could ever hope to be – didn’t beg, plead, or hand-wringingly water down Kingdom requirements so the rich young ruler would keep a toe in the door of God’s house. Jesus held high the standard of the gospel and let him walk away. Jesus wasn’t a nerdy little wimp offering people a cheap plastic heavenly trinket if they would only be His friend. This almighty King demanded perfection, the highest love, loyalty unto death. And, by the way, you’d better count the cost before deciding to follow Him. Jesus wasn’t worried about offending people with biblical truth.

We need to stop worrying that the Bible is going to offend people who need to be offended by its demands, requirements, and judgments so that they might repent and be reconciled to Christ. Whether it’s a sinner in need of a Savior or a saint in need of sanctification, the ministry of reconciliation Christ has called us to begins with confronting sin.

We need to stop worrying that the Bible is going to offend people who *need* to be offended by its demands, requirements, and judgments so that they might repent and be reconciled to Christ.
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Every person we would potentially approach with biblical truth is either saved or lost.

If a person is genuinely one of Christ’s sheep, she will hear the voice of her Shepherd calling to her from the truths of His Word, turn from her sin, and follow Him. It may take time. It may take help. It may take teaching and many tears. But sheep love the Shepherd and follow Him. They grow toward Him, not away from Him.

If a person is lost, she isn’t going to get any “loster” when you biblically call her to repentance. Lost is lost, even if that lost person claims to be, or thinks she is, a Christian. There’s no such thing as a genuinely regenerated Christian who’s just barely hanging on to Jesus by her fingernails and you come along and push her out of the faith by confronting her sin with biblical truth. Uh uh. If she abandons Christ in favor of her sin, she was never saved in the first place, I don’t care what she claims to the contrary.

If a person is lost, she isn’t going to get any “loster” when you biblically call her to repentance.
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All of this nonsense floating around these days about “de-converting” from Christianity, or “I used to be a real, genuine, bona fide Christian, but I’m not anymore.” Hogwash and poppycock. The Bible says if you leave the body of Christ, you were never a member of it to begin with. That God is greater than all (including you) and no one (not even yourself) is able to snatch you out of His hand if you belong to Him. That those who are saved will endure to the end. That Jesus will not lose a single one of those the Father has entrusted to Him. Dare we believe the words of sinners about themselves over what the Word of God says about them? No matter what you say or do, you don’t have the power to be responsible for someone leaving the faith. Whatever circumstance or person they might use as a scapegoat, people “leave” Christianity because they don’t know or love Christ and they’ve gotten tired of pretending like they do.

The people we love enough to lovingly, yet firmly, speak hard biblical truths to are either Christians who will come to love and embrace those truths (and love us for caring enough to speak them), or they’re lost or false converts who need to be confronted with the mirror of God’s Word so they can face up to the fact that they’re lost. Where the Bible speaks plainly and definitively, we must not be ashamed of the gospel and shrink from speaking plainly and definitively in agreement with it.

Stop being afraid of offending people by speaking hard, biblical truths. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for someone is offend her.

Stop being afraid of offending people by speaking hard, biblical truths. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for someone is offend her.
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Faith

Throwback Thursday ~ God’s Cartography

January 9, 2025January 8, 2025 Michelle Lesley

Originally published January 19, 2013

Are you “directionally challenged”?

I am.

I mean, I can read and follow a map, but if I make some wrong turns or get distracted, I tend to get disoriented. And don’t even try to tell me to “go north” or “turn south” when you’re giving me directions. I just don’t have that internal compass some people have. Heck, our church has had an “east campus” and a “west campus” for over a year, and I still can’t figure out which one is which. Thank goodness for map apps. Without those step by step directions, I’d probably still be wandering around out there somewhere.

But, you know what? I did really well in geography when I was in school.

When I can see the big picture, the whole map at once, the beginning, middle, and end of the journey, it’s a piece of cake. I never get confused about which direction is southeast or northwest. I don’t get distracted by twists or turns in the road. If I could just have this perspective when I’m trying to get somewhere, I’d never get lost again.

But life isn’t like that.

We live inside the road trip where it’s easy to get confused and go the wrong way. Where we can get distracted by the twists and turns of circumstances. Where we sometimes deliberately choose to turn off the right road and take a side trip that takes us farther than we wanted to go.

We can’t step “outside the map” and see the big picture of our life’s journey from beginning to end.

But God can. That’s where He lives.

…in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
Psalm 139:19

And since He alone can see the big picture, He’s the only One who’s really qualified to give us direction. And that perfect direction can only be found in His Word.

Just like my map app, He tells us our starting point:

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. Ephesians 2:1-3

He tells us the detour we need to take:

…repent and believe in the gospel. Mark 1:15b

He shows us the right direction to go:

…what sort of people ought you to be in lives of holiness and godliness…
2 Peter 3:11

And he reveals our ultimate destination:

Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always be with the Lord. 1 Thessalonians 4:17

Not using “God’s Positioning System”?

Recalculate.

(Don’t groan and roll your eyes. You should have seen that one coming :0)

Faith

Back to the Basics, Part 1: Grab God’s Hand

September 17, 2024September 3, 2024 Michelle Lesley

Hello, readers! I am taking this week off. I hope you’ll enjoy this three part series while I’m gone.

Originally published January 12, 2011

Every year at this time, there’s a lot of talk about New Year’s resolutions. The new year seems to bring with it a feeling of starting fresh, getting a do-over. I’ve never really been one for making resolutions, but this year, New Year’s coincided with some work God was doing in my life to give me a fresh start.

Sometimes we can get into a rut in our spiritual lives, a rut that’s too deep to just step out of by making a few minor adjustments. God has to reach down and pull us up and out of it. That’s where I was. Spiritually, I felt dry; as if God were in the other room, and I couldn’t quite find the door to get to Him. My Bible study and prayer time were shallow and hit-and-miss at best, and I was frustrated.

In answer to my crying out to Him, the Lord began to pull me up out of that rut. As He did, what He showed me was that I needed to get “back to the basics” in my spiritual life. This article is the first in a series exploring the basics God is leading me back to.

Grab God’s Hand

Also if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not win the prize unless he competes according to the rules.
2 Timothy 2:5

Looking back, I can see that one of the ways I got into my rut in the first place was some “stinkin’ thinkin'”. My spiritual life was just beginning to show some signs of dryness around the edges. I thought it was because I was doing my Bible study and prayer time out of habit every day rather than doing them because I felt a supernatural draw to them.

I decided that, rather than have my time with the Lord as a built in part of my every day schedule, I would ask God to give me a hunger for Him and his Word, and that when I felt that longing for Him, I would spend time with Him. I honestly did this with the best of intentions, because I felt myself slipping away from the Lord and wanted to be close to Him again.

Good intentions are a great thing, but if the action they inspire is wrong, the intention is worthless.
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Good intentions are a great thing, but if the action they inspire is wrong, the intention is worthless. The action has to be the correct one. Mine was not. John Wesley said, “A fanatic is one who seeks desirable ends, but ignores constituted means.” “Constituted means” simply refers to the normal order of operations God has set up. For example, if I want a cake– a desirable end –I don’t hit my knees, ask God to send me a cake, and then go look in the oven to see if it’s there. I go to my cabinet, get out the ingredients, mix them up, and bake them. Those are God’s constituted means by which I can get cake.

It works the same way in our spiritual lives. Holiness, sanctification (spiritual growth), and hunger for the things of God aren’t three wishes magically granted by a genie, even if you call that genie “God”. You have to use God’s “constituted means” – the work of the Spirit and your obedience – to get there.

Holiness, sanctification, and hunger for the things of God aren’t three wishes magically granted by a genie. You have to use God’s “constituted means” – the work of the Spirit and your obedience – to get there
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Paul describes our walk with the Lord as a race or athletic event. You don’t just rub a lamp, make a wish, and, BAM! you’re a great athlete. You get up every day and train and condition whether you feel like it or not. Some days, you’ll be excited about working out, other days, you’ll want to stay in bed, but regardless of how you feel, you still do it. It’s the “doing it” that creates the desire to hone your abilities more, and makes you love the sport more.

Likewise, we will never develop holiness and a closer walk with the Lord just by asking Him for them and then sitting and waiting. As we ask, we have to do the work of study and prayer– even when we don’t feel like it. It is in the “doing it” that God creates the hunger for more of Him. I discovered as I waited and waited for God to draw me close to His side that I was slipping farther and farther away from Him. I was trying to get to my desired end without using His constituted means.

So, when we’re down in that rut we can’t get out of, we should cry out to God to reach down and lift us out of it, but that’s not all. When God extends His hand to pull us out, we’ve got to reach up and grab hold of Him and hang on, even when we don’t feel like it. That’s called obedience, and Jesus said if we love Him, we’ll obey Him.

There are going to be some dry spells. After all, God didn’t talk to Moses from the burning bush every day, now did He? The answer is not to ask God to set the bush on fire, but to hang on to Him in faith when all we see in front of us is a charred pile of sticks.

The answer is not to ask God to set the bush on fire, but to hang on to Him in faith when all we see in front of us is a charred pile of sticks.
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Keep walking, keep obeying, keep seeking Him. He has promised we’ll find Him.

Faith

Kissing the Face of God

September 11, 2024September 9, 2024 Michelle Lesley

Originally published October 15, 2008

A few Sundays ago as we were getting ready to go to church, I picked up my five year old, hugged him, and asked, “Are you ready to go to worship?”

He smiled and nodded, gave me a kiss on the cheek and then said something which he will never recall, but which I will never forget. He said,

“I just kissed you and God at the same time.”

I’m not sure what he, in his five year old reasoning, meant to convey by that statement, but I have been thinking about what God could have meant by it ever since.

Because I’m a Christian, my body quite literally houses the Holy Spirit, so in a way, what my son said was true.

The last part of 1 Corinthians 6:20 says that because the Holy Spirit lives in me, I’m to glorify God in my body. Everything my body says or does is supposed to point people to God, so that when they look at me, they see Him.

Wow. That’s a pretty heavy duty responsibility. Am I doing that?

Unfortunately, the answer is “no” more often than I care to admit.

I want to live that way, though. I want people to feel God’s healing in my touch, hear His kindness in my voice, experience His forgiveness in my embrace. Because I’m the only Jesus some will ever see, I want to be Jesus to them.