Tag: Church

Discernment, False Doctrine, Guest Posts

Guest Post: A Reader’s Review of Wellspring Group

Michelle Lesley

If your theology pretty much matches up with mine (as outlined in the “Welcome” and “Statement of Faith” tabs) and you’d like to contribute a guest post, drop me an e-mail at MichelleLesley1@yahoo.com,
and let’s chat about it.

Yesterday, I published a new discernment article which included Wellspring Group. I did not find enough information online to be able to make a recommendation on whether or not this ministry is doctrinally sound. I subsequently heard from a reader (who wishes to remain anonymous) who has had some personal experience with this organization and agreed to share her thoughts. Though I have no reason to doubt her word, neither can I vouch for her as I do not know her personally. This information is provided for your consideration, and to give you some things to watch for, should your church decide to take part in this program.

Objections to the Wellspring Process and Theology

Questionable interpretation of Scripture to fit the Wellspring model and process.

Proverbs 4:23 is the key verse for the Wellspring process of living wholeheartedly. The NIV translation is used, which says “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” The whole Wellspring “process” focuses on needing to understand our heart, that God is found in the deepest desires of our heart. This concept is not found anywhere in Scripture.

The Bible doesn’t describe God as being at the depth of our desires (in fact Jeremiah (17:9) said the heart is wicked and deceitful above all things, and beyond cure, and who can understand it?)

We are to love the Lord with all our heart, mind, soul and strength (Luke 10:27), which indicates our whole being, not four different levels of our heart.

The NASB reads, “Watch over your hearts with all diligence, for from it flows the springs of life.” When reading over Proverbs 4 in context we see that wisdom is the focus, not the desires of our heart. Wisdom is the thing we need to guard because from wisdom comes [abundant] life.

Verse 23 has to be pulled out of context to fit the Wellspring concept. The heart becomes the focus (and then an entire “process” is built from that assumption) when wisdom is real the focus of the passage. The Bible indicates that wisdom is what will provide the abundant life for us, not a deep and exhaustive understanding of our heart and its desires.

The manual says, “Follow your desires deep enough and you will find God and the image of God in you.” Where is this found in Scripture?

Hebrews 12:1 describes the “cloud of witnesses” and is understood by participants as people who have died who are watching us, as well as our “domain” – the community of people we are in contact with in our life. Biblically, the cloud of witnesses is not a group of people in Heaven watching us, they are believers who have passed on who witnessed the truths of Scripture and Jesus. Hebrews 11:39-40 describes who these people are. (How this plays out in the Wellspring process is described below under the Fellowship concept.

The cloud of witnesses is the group of people listed in Hebrews 11, “the great Hall of Faith”. The author of Hebrews ends chapter 11 with his main point for listing them, “they gained approval through their faith and didn’t receive what was promised because God provided something better.”

Chapter 12 begins with “Therefore”, i.e. because God provided something better than fulfilling the promises He made to these people during their lifetime, we “lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us and run with endurance the race set before us.”

The point of 12:1 is not that the cloud of witnesses will protect us and whisper to us and propel us into God’s story. The manual includes, “Praying the Four Realities” citing, “I see the Communion of Saints surrounding me and cheering me on to persevere all the way to the final Consummation.” Biblically they are not a group of people cheering us on, their lives left us a legacy to be followed.

The “Fellowship” concept.

The Fellowship is described as consisting of the Trinity, the Body of Christ, the Word of God in Scripture and the Communion of Saints (the cloud of witnesses). A circular drawing in the manual indicates that all four parts of the Fellowship are equal. Supposedly this “Fellowship desires to protect you.”

The communion of saints, whether defined as Wellspring does or as the Bible does, ARE NOT equal with the Trinity.

The Battle for Your Heart manual describes this Fellowship as one entity, having characteristics of personality:

“The Fellowship is pursuing you.”

It is suggested that we interact with this “entity”, “Above all else, do whatever it takes to cooperate with the Fellowship that desires to protect you.”

This entity supposedly motivates us, “The Fellowship not only desires to protect you but also to propel you into your part of the Story as an intimate ally.”

This entity supposedly talks to us – members are asked after viewing a clip from the movie Bagger Vance, “What do you hear the Fellowship whispering to you through this scene?” Later in the manual the same question is asked after viewing a clip from Good will Hunting. (If by “whisper” they merely means “teach” then why doesn’t he use the word teach? Why make it creepy?)

The Fellowship supposedly “walks with us” – on the website under a description of the Women’s program it says this, “It’s a rigorous, demanding experience that opens up your whole hearts, gives you clear path to change and connects you to The Fellowship that will walk with you into your part of God’s Larger Story.”

Participants are told that The Fellowship through God’s voice will give you a new name – this is a misconstruing of Revelation 2:17. Jesus will give us a new name after He returns. This indicates that we can receive personal revelation from Jesus, which is not Scriptural.

The manual states “The only way you can win that Battle (for your heart) and live in your part of the Story that is yours and yours alone is through intimately engaging with the Fellowship that desires to protect you and propel you into that Story.”

Again, this is not Scriptural. That statement follows this one, “only through your heart can you discover and live in your part of God’s Story.” Wellspring has missed the emphasis of the Bible – that we are to understand God by studying Scripture (not our heart) and then to think and behave by following Jesus’ example and the illustrations presented by the lives of people who did what pleased God.

Exclusivity – which is bound to cause division among people, between the Wellspringers and the nonWellspringers who don’t understand the lingo and are not “living out of their whole heart”.

They indicate that the deeper life is only found through Wellspring. The creator of Wellspringclaims that rarely do people learn to live out of their “whole heart” without the Wellspring process. This quote is found on the website under the Process for Women, “There is something in the life of every woman that fuels her deepest desires – for relationship, for value, for connecting with her destiny. The Bible calls this hidden source of life a wellspring. Few find it. But for those who do, a world of change is possible. The Battle for the Heart process helps you discover this wellspring in your own life.”

Wellspring alone. People are encouraged not to do any other small groups besides Wellspring – on the website under FAQs there is a question, “Can I participate in this process and another small group at the same time?” The answer says that’s up to them but “many find that they need to back off of another group for a year in order to fully engage in the Battle for the Heart process.” So does that mean no other Bible study is needed? That should send up warning flags. It has been observed that many of the participants drop out of Bible studies in order devote all their time to studying the Wellspring concepts, which is NOT a Bible study.

Wellspring has the secret. (Very gnostic) The manual states that “unless you understand the context of this Story (God’s Larger Story) and where you are in it, you will be confused, disoriented, effectively taken out of the battle.” The booklet doesn’t describe what this Larger Story is, so obviously you have to attend the retreat to gain this information if you don’t want to be confused, disoriented, etc. The Larger Story is described in the workbook as something you can only find by living “wholeheartedly” out of the four levels of your heart. And unless you learn the Wellspring process you won’t be able to do that.

The manual states, “We can only be fully human as we experience the redemptive love of Christ at all four levels of our hearts and then express that love from all four levels of our hearts.” Unless you take the WS courses you won’t know what the four levels are because they are not taught in the Bible.

Completely new vocabulary. This can cause two groups at church – those who understand the vocabulary and those who do not. Throughout the entire booklet there is new vocabulary that no one will understand unless they go to the retreat. There isn’t enough information in the booklet to define this vocabulary and it is used very differently from biblical language.

God’s Larger Story. What is larger than the story of redemption through Jesus and learning to live according to His commands and by His example? You have to attend the retreat to find out what this larger story is and how you fit into it.

Implication that a church is insufficient without the inculcation Wellspring process.

People are encouraged on the website to get their churches involved as partners with Wellspring after they attend all four retreats.

Under the FAQs the question is asked, “Why consider the Battle for the Heart Community Process?” The answer shows the reader their absolute need for this process (that can’t be found anywhere else but Wellspring), “When leaders are not living from their whole hearts (defined biblically as their thoughts feelings, desires and choices), their lives suffer, their relationships suffer, and their service in the body of Christ is hindered.” Then several examples are listed of what this looks like:

“People will talk about the love of God, but don’t experience that love in a way that results in significant, sustained change.”

“Achieve objectives, but often with significant collateral relational damage.”

“Unconsciously seek approval from God through performance instead of
performance flowing out of love for God and being loved by God.”

“Live in marriages where they are committed to their spouses, but there is little true intimacy, and they become “roommates on the way to heaven.”

“Become unable to effectively experience and express their own emotions and desires or effectively experience the desires and emotions of those they love the most.”

While some of those statements may be true in some people’s lives, Wellspring is not the only place to find healing in these areas, yet the website indicates that “few find it” aside from learning and following the Wellspring concepts. The Word of God is what changes us, “For the Word of God is living and active…” Hebrews 4:12a ESV.

Implied insufficiency of Scripture.

Film clips are used during the courses to illustrate the four levels of the heart and the elevator model of the heart. The manual states, “To assist you in getting in touch with all four levels of your heart we will ask questions after film clips and in your team meetings designed to help you go down the elevator.”

This is a huge red flag – The films they show clips of are made by Hollywood and rarely based on Scriptural principles. While they can have good illustrations about life, they should not be substituted for the Word of God when we are trying to grow closer to God.

The manual states that connecting on all four levels is really only possible with other Wellspring attendants, as implied in the manual, “Knowing your own heart at all four levels is the foundation for effectively connecting with others at all four levels of their heart.”

Again, this is secret knowledge that only those that attend Wellspring will gain, implying that the Bible alone is not sufficient for learning how to effectively connect with others.

The Bible is not the only source of Wellspring ideas, the manual states that “The Battle for the Heart draws upon ancient spiritual disciplines, such as reflective reading of Scripture, contemplative prayer and the power of intimate fellowship, and places them in an organic structure.”

The website at one time recommended reading books by John Eldridge’s and David Benner, who are both followers of “mystic” Christianity.

Overall, the Wellspring program encourages an unhealthy focus on self. Supposedly we find God from intense introspection, understanding an unbliblical concept of our heart and its four levels, searching within our deepest desires and through watching movie clips to gain insight. All of that is NOT what Scripture teaches.

Discernment

And Rebuke Those Who Contradict It

Michelle Lesley

“We have to be clued into the popular false teachers and know why we disagree with them,” says Pastor Casey Lewis in his excellent article, How Do We Lovingly Guide Church Members Away From False Teaching?

And, indeed, we do, pastors as well as as those of us in the pew. People ask me all the time why pastors don’t warn their church members about false teachers. This is why. Most of the time, they simply aren’t clued in. Pastors are extremely busy and stressed by their duties at church. They often don’t have time to research false teachers and the latest fads in false doctrine.

Your pastor might find Pastor Lewis’ article helpful, and there are a few things you as a church member can do to “hold his arm up” in this area:

1. Make sure your church isn’t placing so many demands on your pastor that he doesn’t have time to both preach sound doctrine and rebuke those who contradict it (Titus 1:9).

2. If you’re a faithful, trustworthy member of your church, offer to be a “research assistant” for your pastor. Let him know that if he ever needs somebody to vet an author or speaker you’ll be glad to do the legwork and report back to him so he can make informed decisions.

3. Pray regularly for discernment for your pastor and others in leadership at your church. Discernment is a gift only the Lord can bestow upon a person.

The pastorate can be a very demanding job. Love your pastor by doing what you can to help him.

Basic Training, Church

Basic Training: 7 Reasons Church is Not Optional and Non-Negotiable for Christians

Michelle Lesley

For more in the Basic Training series, click here.

It’s a disturbing trend that’s spreading like the plague among evangelicals who claim to be Believers:

“I’m a Christian but I refuse to attend church.”

These aren’t people who can’t attend church due to health reasons, caring for an ill or disabled loved one, who have no other choice but to work some Sundays, or who live in an area with no reasonably doctrinally sound church to attend. They’re people who could get plugged in to a decent local church, but intentionally shun the body of Christ.

Usually, the decision to opt out of church boils down to one of two scenarios: a) a Believer who was hurt by a previous church and yet isn’t ready to risk being hurt again or b) someone (often a false convert) who doesn’t grasp the concept that being joyfully joined to a local body of believers is part of what defines someone as a Christian.

I can tell some of y’all have already fired up your e-mail programs or mentally formulated a corrective comment. Hang on, and please read what I’m about to say so we’re all on the same page here. I am not saying, have never said, and will never say that attending church, joining a church, serving at a church, or being baptized into a church is what saves a person, even in part. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian. Everybody with me? Scripture is clear that salvation is by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone, and that good works, such as church attendance, play zero part in a person’s salvation.

What I am saying is that one of the signs, or fruits, that someone is already saved is that she has a heartfelt love and affection for the things of God, which includes the gathering of the saints for fellowship, worship, encouragement, and edification. For a Believer, love for the bride of Christ is a natural extension of loving Christ, Himself. A Believer doesn’t have to be talked into attending church; there’s no place on earth he or she would rather be.

For a Believer, love for the bride of Christ is a natural extension of loving Christ, Himself. A Believer doesn’t have to be talked into attending church; there’s no place on earth he or she would rather be.

We’ve all been in difficult situations with difficult people at church that can hurt, sometimes deeply – believe me, I’ve been there – and can leave us in need of taking a few Sundays off to recover, or possibly the need to change to a healthier church. But if you’ve harbored antipathy toward the church, as a whole, for years, have never taken joy in fellowshipping and worshiping with fellow believers, don’t see any particular need for gathering with the Body, or are generally apathetic in your attitude toward church, you’re in a very dangerous place, spiritually, and you need to question your salvation. Those are symptoms of being lost, not fruit of being saved.

For Christians, being joined to a local church is not optional and non-negotiable. Why?

1. God Says So

Just in case the entirety of the Bible isn’t clear enough that God wants His people meeting together for fellowship, worship, and the Word, He says so very bluntly in Hebrews 10:24-25:

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

The HCSB puts it this way: “not staying away from our worship meetings, as some habitually do,” and NASB says: “not forsaking our own assembling together.” God says we are not to neglect, stay away from, or forsake, the meeting of the church body. For anyone who claims to be a Christian, that reason alone ought to be good enough. When God tells us to do something, we do it. Period.

2. The Church is God’s Plan for Christians

God doesn’t need or want your help devising the best methodology for your life and growth as a Christian. He already has a plan. He already established that plan. That plan is the church. There’s no plan B nor any cafeteria-style options. If you’re a Christian, God’s plan for you is to be a faithful part of a local body of Believers. The Bible never suggests that it’s OK for you to be a “Lone Ranger Christian.” There are no explicit statements to this effect, nor even one example of a New Testament Christian who lived life apart from the church. The New Testament assumes Christians will be part of a church. If not, the majority of Matthew through Revelation would be moot. If you reject membership in the local church, you’re rejecting God’s Word and His way in favor of your own way.

If you reject membership in the local church, you’re rejecting God’s Word and His way in favor of your own way.

3. Jesus Values the Church

You claim to love and follow Jesus, right? Well, Jesus founded the church. Jesus is the head of the church. Jesus loves the church. Jesus died for the church. Jesus is the Savior of the church. Jesus nourishes, cherishes, and sanctifies the church. How could anyone claim to love and follow Jesus and yet cavalierly toss aside something He values so much that He laid His life down for it? If you really love Jesus, you’ll value the things He values, and, clearly, He values the church.

If you really love Jesus, you’ll value the things He values, and, clearly, He values the church.

4. Being Joined to the Church Is an Indicator of Salvation

First John 2:18-19 makes no bones about it. Forsaking the church is an indicator that you’re not saved:

…now many antichrists have come…They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us.

Want to make it plain that you’re not of Christ? Step one is to leave the church.

5. The Church is the Dispensary for the Word and the Ordinances

The preaching and teaching of God’s Word. Baptism and the Lord’s Supper. In order to preserve their purity and sanctity, God established a hierarchical structure of ecclesiastical authority and placed the responsibility for administering Scripture and the ordinances with the church, not isolated individuals. Do we have women’s Bible studies and Sunday School classes? Of course. But only under the oversight of our pastors and elders, as an outflow of, and in keeping with, the preaching and teaching ministry of the church. Do we share the gospel with the lost we encounter during the week? You bet! Our churches enable us to do so by training us in the Word, and we bring new Believers back to our churches so that they may be discipled.

6. The “One Anothers”

Love one another. Comfort one another. Forgive one another. Serve one another. Bear one another’s burdens. Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another. Have you ever stopped to think which people “one another” is referring to? It’s easy to see when you look at these verses in context. It’s our brothers and sisters in Christ. All of the New Testament “one anothers” are written to the church. You need brothers and sisters to minister the “one anothers” to you, and your brothers and sisters need you to minister the “one anothers” to them. We cannot properly carry out the “one anothers” outside the church because they were meant to be practiced first and foremost within the church.

We cannot properly carry out the “one anothers” outside the church because they were meant to be practiced first and foremost within the church.

7. Sheep Need Shepherds

The Bible often uses sheep as a metaphor for God’s people. And since we know that God is the author of Scripture, we know God handpicked that metaphor to describe us. Ever notice that God never describes a sheep wandering off on its own as though that were a good thing?

All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way;
Isaiah 53:6a

I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek your servant,
Psalm 119:176a

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.
Matthew 9:36

What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray?
Matthew 18:12

Sheep who leave the flock to make their own way in the world are in danger from wolves, the pitfalls of sin, and any number of other perils, especially the trials and tragedies of life. I can’t tell you how many e-mails I’ve received from distraught Christian women in dire personal circumstances who desperately need pastoral counsel. Sadly, when I tell them I’m not equipped to help them with such a complicated problem from so far away and that they need to make an appointment with their pastor for one on one, face to face counseling, the response is often, “I haven’t been going to church. I don’t have a pastor.”

We need the protection of the sheep pen, the brotherhood of the flock, and the leadership of our shepherds, our pastors, to help guide us. God knew we needed those things. That is one reason He established the church and created the position of pastor. Christ is our Good Shepherd, but until He returns, He has appointed godly men to watch over and protect the flock in His absence:

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.
John 21:15-17

And he gave…the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ,
Ephesians 4:11-12

So I exhort the elders among you…shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory.
1 Peter 5:1-4

You can’t shepherd yourself. That internet pastor you listen to – even the most doctrinally sound one – can’t shepherd you. You need to be part of a flock led by a shepherd who knows you and cares for your soul.

Do you take joy in gathering regularly with your brothers and sisters in Christ for worship, the Word, the ordinances, building one another up, and serving one another? If not, the solution is not to leave the church altogether. The solution is to examine your heart against Scripture to discover whether or not you’re truly saved, and then to find a healthy church you can pour yourself into. Christ has given believers the local church as a blessing and a benefit, not a burden and a bore. Love and embrace this precious gift He has lavished on you.

Additional Resources

Searching for a new church?

What the Bible Says About Church Membership

Six Ways Not to Forsake the Assembly 

7 reasons worshipers need the church at The Cripplegate

Mailbag #49: Home Groups Over Church at 9Marks

My Jesus, I Love You; Your Bride I Despise! at Reformation21

Why You May Be Tempted To Neglect Your Church by Tim Challies

Five Essential Reasons for Christians to Gather in Public Worship at Ligonier

Prioritize Your Church by Tim Challies

Is a “Churchless Christian” an Oxymoron? at Ligonier

The Plight of Churchless Christians at The Cripplegate

40 reasons to be part of a local church at The Cripplegate

Church Attendance Is Not Optional on the G3 Podcast

Is it Necessary for Me to Join a Local Church? at G3 Ministries

Mailbag

The Mailbag: A Lost Husband, a Saved Wife, and an Apostate Church

Michelle Lesley

My husband is unsaved, so I’ve had to take on the spiritual leadership of our home. As I’ve been growing in my discernment, I’ve learned that the churches we have been attending are not doctrinally sound. Thus, we have changed churches several times. My husband will attend church with our family, but is comfortable at our current church and doesn’t want to change again. Unfortunately, our current church is also doctrinally unsound. I feel very uncomfortable here and want to find a new, doctrinally sound church, but I’m concerned: a) that I won’t be submitting to my husband if I insist we leave, and, b) that my husband will refuse to attend church any more if I insist we leave this one. What should I do?

This question is actually an amalgam of two e-mails I’ve recently received asking basically the same question, which leads me to believe there are many other Christian women out there in similar circumstances.

It is heartbreaking when a husband and wife, whose souls God meant to be knit together as one, are separated by the gulf of eternity. It’s an unavoidable situation when two lost people get married and one subsequently gets saved, but it is completely avoidable if you’re saved before you get married. Single ladies, please be wise and learn from the pain your unequally yoked sisters have gone through: do not marry, or even date, someone you aren’t certain (as certain as you can possibly be, anyway) is a believer.

Normally, this is the type of question I decline to answer because it’s a situation that’s best handled by pastoral counsel. I don’t know all the nuances of the situation, the personalities involved, the doctrine of the particular church, etc. However, the readers who have asked my advice have both indicated that they’re in doctrinally unsound churches, so I can’t, in good conscience, refer them to “pastors” who may do more harm than good with their counsel. So, the best I can do is provide some biblical food for thought for these ladies to consider as they make their decisions.

Pray
God is so gracious and kind to remind us that if we need wisdom to handle things and make decisions, He will give it to us. When you’ve asked God for that wisdom, trust Him to give it to you and to guide you.

Additionally, ask God to provide you with a godly friend, pastor, or counselor to help you walk through this situation. You may wish to seek out a doctrinally sound church and set up a counseling appointment with the pastor or an elder. You could also look for an ACBC certified Biblical Counselor in your area (not just a “Christian counselor/therapist”- ACBC counselors are trained to help you apply correctly handled Scripture to your situation in a doctrinally sound way).

Finally, don’t neglect to pray for your husband’s salvation, and that God would soften his heart to attend a doctrinally sound church.

Study God’s Word
If you’re a believer, this should already be part of your daily life. Stay in the Word to keep yourself spiritually nourished, to gain biblical wisdom, and to be led by the Holy Spirit. It may be of some comfort to you to know that in the early days of the church, many Christian women (and men) were going through the exact same situation- being married to an unbeliever. There are a couple of passages that address this situation which you may want to give some extra study:

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
1 Peter 3:1-6

If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
1 Corinthians 7:13-16

Submission? As the 1 Peter passage above makes clear, biblical submission is one of the ways Christian women can prepare the way of the Lord in the life of an unbelieving husband. We should certainly submit to our husbands in anything that doesn’t conflict with Scripture. However, our first loyalty and submission are to Christ, so a Christian woman cannot “submit” to her husband if he is asking her to do something that Christ has clearly said not to do in His written Word (I’ve written more about the issue of submission in other situations here and here.).

As you consider submitting to your husband in the various aspects of this situation, study these passages regarding sitting under the instruction of false teachers. Do your husband’s desires about staying in a doctrinally unsound church conflict with what God’s word says? That’s something you will have to pray about, study about, and, if possible, get some godly counsel about.

Practical observations/suggestions
Here’s something to take into consideration: It doesn’t do any good for someone to go to a “church” that teaches false doctrine just for the sake of being able to say that person attends church. In fact, it may actually harden his heart to the truth of the gospel.

Regarding false converts (people who think they’re Christians but actually aren’t), it’s often said, “Before we can get them saved, we first have to get them unsaved.” In other words, we have to do the hard work of “undoing” the false doctrine they’ve been taught, which has convinced them they’re saved, so they can come to terms with the fact that they aren’t actually saved, in order to correctly teach them the gospel so that they can truly be saved. Consider whether, by continuing to attend a church that teaches false doctrine with your husband, you might be doing something right now that will be difficult to undo later. A garden variety lost person who doesn’t attend church is no more lost than a lost person attending a church that teaches false doctrine.

Would your husband be open to staying home from church on Sunday for several weeks or months while you visit churches alone until you find one you’re confident is doctrinally sound?

Many churches have midweek, Saturday, and Sunday evening services. Perhaps you could explore another church on your own during non-Sunday morning services for a time until you’re sure it teaches sound doctrine, and then ask your husband if he’d be willing to change to that church.

Your husband probably views his church attendance as something he’s doing for you or for the kids. Is there any kind of “deal” you could work out where he changes to a doctrinally sound church “for you,” and, in exchange, you do something for him (make his favorite meal every week, take over a chore he hates, etc.)? He might be more willing to change churches if he thinks there’s a benefit to him for doing so.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Church, Throwback Thursday, Worship

Throwback Thursday ~ Rolling Out the Welcome Wagon

Michelle Lesley

Originally published August 25, 2010

The LORD said to him, “I have heard your prayer and your supplication, which you have made before Me; I have consecrated this house which you have built by putting My name there forever, and My eyes and My heart will be there perpetually. I Kings 9:3

As Golden Girl Sophia would say, “Picture it:”

After church one Sunday, a friend says, “Why don’t you come over to my house tomorrow night for dinner?”

So, the appropriate time comes on Monday evening, and you drive over to her house. The door is standing open because she is expecting you, and you’re familiar enough with each other that you feel comfortable just walking on in.

As you’re walking in, you see your friend standing there, and you say to her, “I invite you into this house! You are welcome here!”

Anything seem a little off about that?

Well, of course that seems strange. It’s her house.

But that’s what is taking place in churches all over America every Sunday morning. I saw it in a televised local church service last week. The worship leader stood up to lead the first song and said, “God we welcome you into this place!” I’ve heard others say things like, “Lord, we invite you into this house this morning!” We sing songs like Holy Spirit, Thou art Welcome and Lord, we Invite You.

‘Scuse me? Isn’t the church God’s house?

Of course, it isn’t God’s house in the same way the temple was God’s house, in that there isn’t a holy of holies where the actual presence of God resides. On the other hand, I wouldn’t go so far as to say that it’s only a building, like the post office or a doughnut shop.

At some point, way back when, or maybe even recently, a body of Believers got together and asked God to give them a place where they could worship Him. God saw fit to answer that prayer. He provided the land, the permits, and every brick, nail, and piece of sheetrock. He allowed His name to be placed there when we decided to call it “Grace Fellowship”, “St. Luke’s”, or “First Baptist”. He protects that building and allows it to stand as a testimony to the community: God, and God’s people, can be found here.

It’s not your church. It’s not my church. It’s God’s church. And it exists for His glory.

But somewhere along the way, we’ve forgotten that. Somewhere along the way, we gave God an eviction notice and became squatters on His property. How arrogant have we become that we strut into church as though we own the place, and dare to invite Him, to welcome Him into His own house as though He were a guest? How dare we?

Maybe it’s partly because we no longer have a holy of holies that we don’t see God’s house as sacred. “Ah,” you may say, “but that’s Old Testament thinking. Now we know that where two or three are gathered in His name, He is there in their midst. (Matthew 18:20)”

Really?

When it’s my church, my comfort, my pew, my ministry that nobody else better touch, my style of music, my opinion about how long the sermon should be, my feelings that got hurt, my idea of how things should operate, what I got out of the service, are we really gathering in His name?

Welcome, Lord. Are You sure You want to come in?