Christian Parenting – Page 9

Originally published March 13, 2008

4. Thou shalt make a pro-active decision
that thy household will be a Godly one.

“Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it;”
Psalm 127:1

When you build a house, you don’t simply wish it into existence. You have to have plans drawn up, buy the right materials, find the right place to build, and actually get out there and start sawing and hammering.

The same is true of having a Godly household. It doesn’t just happen by virtue of the fact that you and your spouse are Christians. You have to sit down together and make a definite decision, preferably before you even get married, that your home will be run in a Godly way.

Where will we attend church? How often will we have family devotions? What is our understanding of what the Bible has to say about what is and is not acceptable behavior for us as spouses and for our children? How will we respond when one of us sins or when the children are disobedient? What will we do if one of us feels that God is presenting us with an opportunity for a new career or to move to a new location?

Naturally, you can’t foresee every scenario that might come up in the future, but if you lay a Godly, Biblical foundation from the start, you won’t have to re-invent the wheel every time a new situation arises. You will have developed a Godly “policy and procedure” for facing life.

Parenting

Throwback Thursday ~ The 10 Commandments of Parenting- 3

September 24, 2015September 23, 2015 Michelle Lesley

Originally published March 7, 2008

3. Thou shalt have a Christ-centered marriage.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. ¹⁰For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! ¹¹Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? ¹²And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

There are so many little details to attend to when you’re planning a wedding. Will the guests throw rice or blow bubbles? Will the bouquets be wrapped with pink ribbon or white? Will the groomsmen wear bow ties or regular ties? For someone like me who has to see absolutely every option available to her before making a decision, it can be a daunting and time-consuming task. Such was the day I sat down to pick out napkins for my reception.

Before I undertook the planning of a wedding, I never would have guessed that it would take more than about 30 seconds to choose napkins. You just pick out some napkins that go along with the color scheme of the wedding, right? Au contraire. There are huge ring binders (yes, that’s binders, plural) chock full of hundreds of napkins in every imaginable color, size and texture. Once you nail down those preferences, you have to choose what you want embossed on the napkins. There, too, the choices are nearly endless.

So, I flipped through page after page of embossment designs, finding them either too corny, too plain, or otherwise unacceptable. Finally, I came to a very interesting one that I eventually chose. It quoted the second half of Ecclesiastes 4:12, “A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart,” with a picture above the verse of a cord of three strands wound together. The ends of the outer two strands were tied to wedding rings, and the end of the middle strand was tied to a cross.

I had never noticed this little verse before that day, but I thought about how beautifully the principle behind the passage could apply to a Christ-centered marriage. When a person is alone, she can quickly become overwhelmed. A spouse can help to bear the burdens of life, but the strength of a marriage of only two people pales in comparison to a marriage centered around a third Person- Christ.

The primary reason our marriages must center around Christ is that it brings Him glory. But there are certainly blessings to our homes that go along with honoring and obeying Christ in our marriages. Study after study has shown that children do best in a home where their parents are married to each other. They are physically and emotionally healthier, do better in school, are less likely to commit crimes, etc. But when you add in the component of spouses treating each other in a Godly manner and striving to set a Godly example for their children, the quality of the home environment rises even higher. Just as putting God first in our own personal lives makes us better parents, so, putting Christ first in our marriages glorifies God and benefits us and our children exponentially.

Parenting, Throwback Thursday

Throwback Thursday ~ The 10 Commandments of Parenting- 2

September 17, 2015September 16, 2015 Michelle Lesley

Originally published March 2, 2008

2. Thou shalt put God first in thine own life.

“You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.” Deuteronomy 6:5

Christians were designed by God to glorify Him, and the way we do that is for Christ to have preeminence in every aspect of our lives. It’s kind of like having your car in the proper alignment. When you’re a Christian and you’re striving after God’s heart for your life, even when problems arise, things tend to go much more smoothly and peacefully. God comes first, and everything falls in line behind that. If you’re a Christian walking in disobedience to God’s word or trying to do things in your own strength instead of depending on Christ, there is going to be an undercurrent of feeling out of whack (because, let’s face it, things are out of whack), like you’re spinning your wheels. You’re likely to be more irritable, fearful, and confused.

From which of these spiritual places do you want to come when relating to and rearing your children? Which is more beneficial to you and to them? Which is more pleasing to God?

When you’re obeying God and staying in His word and in prayer every day, He is working in you to make you more Christlike. More patient, more kind, more conformed to His image. He’s making you a better daughter to Him, a better wife to your husband, a better mother to your children, a better friend to those around you, a better employee to your boss.

It’s the Army’s slogan, but I think it fits Christianity so much better: “Be all that you can be.” And that can only be done in Christ, because without Him, we are nothing. Pursue Christ first- to glorify God, for your own good, and to better serve your family.

Parenting, Throwback Thursday

Throwback Thursday ~ The 10 Commandments of Parenting- 1

September 10, 2015September 16, 2015 Michelle Lesley

Originally published April 25, 2008

1.
Thou shalt be a Believer.

“They said, ‘Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved,
you and your household.'”
Acts 16:31

I can’t imagine undertaking a task as huge as parenting without some divine intervention. It’s a tough job! Most things in life are simpler when you’re a Christian. Not necessarily easier, but usually less complex. Take parenting, for example. If you’re a Christian, parenting by God’s word, you have a plan of action all laid out for you. You don’t have to re-invent the wheel. What should I teach my kid about religion? What do I tell him about pre-marital sex? How do I reassure him about death? It’s all in the Book. If your parenting doesn’t begin and end with the Bible, it can be a much more confusing, fly by the seat of your pants operation.

When you’re a Christian parent, you have the benefit of all the resources in God’s storehouse. You’ve got a God who, at the end of a rough day, says, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28); a God who promises that wisdom is yours for the asking (James 1:5); a God whose name is “the Lord will provide” (Genesis 22:14); a God whose eyes “…move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.” (II Chronicles 16:9).

Finally, when you’re a Christian parent pursuing holiness in your own life, God is working on you to make you more like Him: more loving, more joyful, more peaceful, more patient, kinder, better, more faithful, gentler, and more self-controlled. (Ephesians 5:22-23) God is sanctifying you, making you more Christlike, and enabling you to pour the gospel into your children day by day, so that they might come to know Christ as savior. As a parent, there’s nothing more important.

Parenting, Throwback Thursday

Throwback Thursday ~ Anything to Get the Kids to Read?

September 3, 2015August 31, 2015 Michelle Lesley

Originally published December 9, 2008.

This seems to be a new mantra that has sprung up among parents and educators over the last few years. I’ve heard it many times– said with an almost religious fervor –as though a child who doesn’t read is in the same immediate danger as a child who doesn’t eat.

And whenever I hear this statement made with such intensity, I can’t help but think, “Anything to get the kids to read? Really? Anything?” Just how far are we willing to go for the sake of reading?

Most recently I heard this statement made in response to a topic on my local talk radio station. It seems a high school English teacher assigned his class a book to read that contained a significant amount of profanity. Parents complained. The principal intervened and the assignment was terminated. Many who disagreed with the principal’s decision repeated the litany, almost in unison: “Who cares if there’s profanity? The kids were reading.”

On another occasion, a Christian father and I were discussing the new movie and book, Twilight. He was planning to allow his “tween-ager” to see the movie in hopes that she would then read the books. He had made this decision, not because he thought the subject matter of the books or movie would be good for her (in fact, he indicated that he had decided to allow her to see it against his better judgment of the content), but because he wanted to do something that would get her to read more.

Now, granted, I haven’t read the book series or seen the movie, so my comment stems only from the several reviews and articles I’ve read about them, but has reading become so important even to Christian parents that they feel the need to OK a book/movie for their children that gives at least the appearance of nominal approval to vampirism?

Don’t get me wrong, I think reading is very important. I’m an avid reader, as are my children who are old enough to read independently. I guess I’m just a little perplexed that in a country with freedom of the press, where we have access to a bountiful supply of good books, both Christian and secular, that don’t contain questionable material, we are getting sucked into the mentality that the only way to get kids to read is to present them with books that contain and normalize profanity, occultism, gratuitous violence and gore, inappropriate and explicit sexuality, and any number of other things that we wouldn’t want them exposed to in real life. Why choose books like that when there are so many other better choices?

There are better ways to turn your kids into readers of good books:

Start early- Read to your kids from the time they are infants. Make it a normal, habitual part of life. I used to read to my babies when I was nursing them. I just read aloud from whatever book or magazine I happened to be reading at the moment myself. (That was actually a lot more interesting than reading Green Eggs and Ham or Go Dogs, Go to them a zillion times a day!)

Make it part of the daily routine- Just as you set aside time for brushing teeth, naps, daily devotions, homework, etc., set aside time every day to read to your children, or require your older children to spend a certain amount of time reading every day. One thing I have found that works well with my children is to occasionally allow them to stay up fifteen or twenty minutes past their bedtime, but only if they will use that time to read.

Make reading something to look forward to– Several years ago, I began a practice of reading my older children a book series every summer. We started with the Little House on the Prairie books, then moved to the Narnia books and others. As we near the end of the school year each May, one of the things I have them do is start looking around the library and the internet for the book series they want us to read that summer. They look forward to this each year. Finding an appropriate author or a topic your children like and having them watch for the latest book to come out is another way to build excitement.

Reward reading– Because I love to read so much, it is hard to for me to imagine anyone needing a reward for reading; it’s kind of a reward in itself! Some kids need a little more motivation, though. They might enjoy participating in reading contests such as Pizza Hut’s “Book It” program. Also, check out the programs at your local library. Our library sponsors a reading contest for both kids and adults every summer. It allows the reader to set a goal for the number of books he thinks he can read over the summer and then awards prizes for those who reach their goals. Or, if your kid is dying to see a movie that is based on a certain book, make seeing the movie a reward for reading the book.

Set an example– Be a reader yourself. Find an interesting book and curl up on the couch with your kids while they read their books.

Limit the electronic pacifiers– This is a good idea even if you’re not especially interested in getting your child to read more. Unlimited time in front of the TV, computer, gaming system, or hand-held video games is hazardous to your child’s intellectual health. Conversely, having your child read in order to earn “screen time” can be a good motivator.

As with everything else, it’s important to abide by Biblical principles when choosing reading materials for ourselves and our children. Reading is important, but not as important as filling our kids’ minds with Godliness.

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. Philippians 4:8