Money, Sanctification, Throwback Thursday

Throwback Thursday ~ To Tithe or Not to Tithe…

Originally published August 22, 2013tithetithe_challenge

…that is the question. But should it be? And is it really as simple as that? Yes. And no. On the “simple answer” side, there are two things to keep in mind:

First, Christians today are not required to keep any of the civil or ceremonial laws of Old Testament Israel. If you disagree, I hope you’ve got a parapet around the perimeter of your roof  and that when you harvest your wheat you’re sure to leave the gleanings on the ground. (Christians are, however, called to obey God’s moral laws –many of which are initially laid down in the Old Testament– not in order to earn or keep our salvation, but because we love our Savior and want to flee as far away from sin as possible.)

If you’re interested in the whys and wherefores of the reasons Christians are not required to keep the law of the tithe, there downloadare a number of great articles out there to help you understand. Check out this one, this one, and this one  for starters.

Second, the words “tithing” and “giving” are not synonymous. The New Testament is rife with admonitions to Christians to give, and examples of Christians giving (many of which went far beyond the amount that would have been required by tithing laws) to meet the needs of the church.

So, tithing- no. Giving- yes.

But there’s another aspect of this question, a bigger picture, that doesn’t fit neatly into a “yes or no” category. It’s the heart of the matter. The matter of our hearts.

There are those who will read the articles I’ve linked to above, and, despite solid biblical teaching on why Christians are not required to keep the law of the tithe, will balk at the idea. I know this because that’s exactly what I did when I was first introduced to this teaching. Most of the churches I’ve attended have taught that tithing is a requirement for Christians. It wasn’t a question of “should we or shouldn’t we,” it was the parsing of “gross or net”. Tithing was just assumed. And when you hear something that goes against what you’ve been taught in church all your life, you just naturally resist it. (As well you should. Many of the “new teachings” and “fresh approaches” you’ll encounter out there are nothing but centuries old heresies with a shiny new coat of paint on them.) But sometimes somthing we’ve been taught in church all our lives is wrong. Once you put your Berean spectacles on and thoroughly examine the Scriptures, do you still bristle at the idea of throwing out the requirement to tithe? Why?

Because it’s easier to write a check on autopilot than to take the time to examine our hearts.

Raise your hand if you remember offering envelopes in Sunday School. When I was a little girl, we filled out an offering envelope every Sunday in Sunday School whether we were giving an offering or not. There were little check boxes on the front of the envelope that said things like “Bible brought,” “Attending worship,” “Bible read daily,” etc. It was the way the teachers counted attendance and organized statistics. 

As fallen creatures, we are bent towards keeping one of those offering envelopes in the back of our minds. “Read my Bible today.” Check. “Prayed.” Check. “Wrote out my tithe check.” Check. And our spiritual lives never go deeper than a check on a checklist.

Remind you of anybody? The Pharisees, perhaps? Ouch.

Time and again, Jesus told them that their relationship with God wasn’t about surface behaviors, but a heart to heart –my heart to God’s heart—communion and intimacy with their Creator and Redeemer.

And I don’t know about you, but my fallen, broken, old nature resists that like the devil. Why? Because it’s messy and dirty. There’s no clear cut, singular, magic “right answer”. It requires a lot of time and effort and trial and error. It can get frustrating and discouraging. It’s inefficient.

tithingIt’s so much easier to just check off a few boxes, be done with it, and be on my way.

But that bent of our hearts is exactly the opposite of what God wants. He doesn’t want to receive our remuneration; He wants to consume our hearts.

“You have heard it said…” Jesus said to the Pharisees, quoting the law, “but I say to you…” it goes much deeper than that.

It’s not enough to keep from murdering somebody. What are the selfish motives in your heart that made you angry with your brother in the first place?

It’s not enough to refrain from the act of adultery. What’s going on in your heart that you’re even looking at that woman?

It’s not enough just to dutifully fulfill the requirement of the law. I want you to have a heart that is so dead to self and alive to Christ that it goes the extra mile joyfully.

Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others. You blind guides, straining out a gnat and swallowing a camel!

Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean.
Matthew 23:23-26

How’s that cup and plate looking? What’s going on in our hearts that we’re not already –simply as a result of being a new creature in Christ—giving of what we have whenever we see a need? It didn’t occur to the early church to quibble over percentages and gross vs. net. Their brothers and sisters were in need, and they dipped into the coffers of the treasure of their heartstheir love for Christ and the brethrenand met those needs.

Maybe we’re just not as acutely aware of the need today. Well get aware, and rejoice in your opportunity to give!

Your pastor and your worship leader and, depending on the dynamics and circumstances of your church, other church staffimages members, need to be able to support their families above the poverty level.

There are people in your church who have lost their jobs, and despite their best efforts, haven’t been able to find new ones. They need your help.

There are pregnant teenagers all over your city who don’t want to abort their babies but don’t see any other options. What can your offering do to help them?

There are people groups all over the globe who have never seen a Bible or heard the name of Jesus. How can we best steward our money to get the gospel to them?

People are dying and spending eternity in hell. Starving to death. Being abused. Living on the streets. Risking their lives to get their hands on a Bible. Trying to put food on the table as they labor to bring you God’s word. The check you put in the offering plate every Sunday can help them.

Forget the percentages and requirements of the law. How can a follower of Christ look upon those needs and ask, “Where’s my calculator?”

Where’s your heart?

1 John Bible Study

Am I Really Saved?: A First John Check Up ~ Lesson 3: Love and Hate

1 John Study

Am I Really Saved? A First John Check Up
Lesson 3: Love and Hate
Please Read: 1 John 2:1-17

Previous Lessons: 1, 2

(Helpful Hint: Using the cross-references {footnotes to related verses} provided in your Bible or in the Bible Gateway links I’ve provided will be very helpful as you study.)

Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!
2 Corinthians 13:5

1 John 1:8-2:2

The closing verses of chapter 1, as we saw in last week’s lesson, deal with whether or not a person walks in unrepentant sin. Lost people deny that they are sinners and continue, unrepentantly, in their sin. (1:8, 10) Saved people confess their sin and are forgiven through Christ. (1:9)

John continues his line of thought in the opening verses of chapter 2 (Remember, when he wrote this, there were no chapters and verses. It was just a letter like you might write today.). He’s not writing just to point out sin and how lost and saved people deal with sin differently. He’s writing so that people will not sin. (2:1)

But when Christians (“my little children” refers to John’s “children” in the faith), do sin, John reminds us, Christ has already paid the penalty for our sin. Verses 1-2 of chapter 2 encourage us to remember this, repent, and be forgiven.

And that’s not all. Look at those great little words at the end of verse 2: “but also for the sins of the whole world.” That means that if you examined yourself according to 1 John 1 and found that you are indeed a liar who walks in the darkness while claiming to belong to Christ (1:6), or someone who denies that she’s a sinner, or claims she’s not sinning when she does things the Bible clearly labels as sin (1:8, 10), and you’re grieved over that and want to repent, there is hope.

The perfectly sinless son of God, Jesus Christ, stepped between you and God (“advocate,” 2:1) and propitiated God’s wrath against you for your sin so that you could be reconciled to God. He offers this precious gift of salvation to anyone who will turn from her sin and place her faith in Christ. (2:2)

  • What did you discover last week when you examined yourself according to 1 John 1? Do you walk in the darkness or in the light? Do you agree with the Bible’s definition of sin and confess your sins, or argue against the Bible and continue in sin?
  • Has there ever been a time in your life when you came before God, confessed and admitted that He is right about your sin and you are wrong, asked His forgiveness, and placed your faith in Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection as payment for your sin? If not, I urge you to do so now.
  • If you are saved, this passage is also an encouragement to remember, when you sin – and you will – that Christ has already paid the penalty for your sin. Remember the hope you have in Christ. Repent and be forgiven.

1 John 2:3-6

Am I Really Saved? Checkpoint 3: Do I keep God’s commands?

And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. 4 Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him, 5 but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him: 6 whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.

With this passage, we have to make sure we don’t get the cart before the horse. John is not, I repeat, not saying that you become a Christian by being a good person and obeying all of God’s rules. The Bible is exceedingly clear that salvation does not come from our good works but by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone.

John is saying that people who have genuinely been born again keep God’s word out of a heart of love for Him. Apple trees just naturally grow apples because they’re apple trees. You could buy a bag of apples at the store and tie them to an oak tree, but that would not make it an apple tree. It would just be an oak tree with fake fruit hanging from it. See?

  • Examine your heart- do you desire to keep God’s commandments? Why? What is your motive for obedience to God’s word? Are you an apple tree growing apples or an oak tree trying to pass yourself off, with fake fruit, as an apple tree?
  • Verse 4 is very similar to 1:6. Do you claim to be a Christian while actively disobeying Scripture, justifying your sin, or giving no consideration to keeping God’s commands? What do 1:6 and 2:4 call people who do this? Is this the description of a saved person or an unsaved person?
  • What does it mean to “walk in the same way in which [Jesus] walked”? Are there any areas of your life that don’t match up with the way Jesus lived?

1 John 2:7-14:

Am I Really Saved? Checkpoint 4: Do I hate others? (9-11)

9 Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. 10 Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. 11 But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.

  • This passage talks about living a lifestyle of hate. Do you have an ongoing pattern of hate in your life? Do you hate a certain person? People who behave a certain way? A a certain racial group or class of people?
  • Compare this passage to 1:5-7. Which two words does John again use to draw a sharp contrast between sin and holiness? What does 2:9 say about people who claim to be Christians, yet whose lives are characterized by hate? What does 2:10 say about the one who loves his brother? Which characterizes the life of the Christian, love or hate?
  • Which three groups of people does John address in verses 12-14? What are the reasons he gives for writing to them?

1 John 2:15-17:

Am I Really Saved? Checkpoint 5: Do I love worldliness?

15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. 17 And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.

  • What does verse 15 mean when it says not to love “the things in the world”? How does verse 16 define this phrase? Can you give some real life examples of “the desires of the flesh”? “The desires of the eyes”? “The pride of life”? Why does verse 16 say these things are “not from the Father”?
  • What does verse 15 say about people who love the things of the world? If “the love of the Father is not in” a person, is that person a Christian? Instead of loving the world, what characterizes a Christian, according to verse 17? Which is temporary, the world, or the one who does the will of God? Which is eternal? (17)

This week, we are examining our salvation with three questions:

1. Do I keep God’s commands?

2. Do I hate others?

3. Do I love worldliness?

Christians, out of love for God, desire to obey Him, love others, and reject worldliness. Lost people may behave outwardly in a way that looks like obedience to God’s commands, but, because they have not been born again, there is no love for Him leading to true obedience and love for others. The lost person’s true love is the things of this temporal world.

Where do you stand in light of 1 John 2:1-17? Do you love the right things, such as God’s word, others, and the things of God? Do you hate the right things, like sin and worldliness? Prayerfully examine your heart, comparing your motives and actions to these Scriptures. Surrender your life to Christ if you find that you are not truly saved. If you are saved, repent of any sin God reveals to you and ask Him to help you “walk in the same way in which [Jesus] walked.”

Additional Resources:

1 John 2– Matthew Henry’s Commentary

Propitiation: How the Cross Affected God by Steve Lawson

True or False? A Study in 1 John– at Naomi’s Table (lessons 7-9)

Wednesday's Word

Wednesday’s Word ~ Deuteronomy 30

circumcise heart

Deuteronomy 30

“And when all these things come upon you, the blessing and the curse, which I have set before you, and you call them to mind among all the nations where the Lord your God has driven you, and return to the Lord your God, you and your children, and obey his voice in all that I command you today, with all your heart and with all your soul, then the Lord your God will restore your fortunes and have mercy on you, and he will gather you again from all the peoples where the Lord your God has scattered you. If your outcasts are in the uttermost parts of heaven, from there the Lord your God will gather you, and from there he will take you. And the Lord your God will bring you into the land that your fathers possessed, that you may possess it. And he will make you more prosperous and numerous than your fathers. And the Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your offspring, so that you will love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live. And the Lord your God will put all these curses on your foes and enemies who persecuted you. And you shall again obey the voice of the Lord and keep all his commandments that I command you today. The Lord your God will make you abundantly prosperous in all the work of your hand, in the fruit of your womb and in the fruit of your cattle and in the fruit of your ground. For the Lord will again take delight in prospering you, as he took delight in your fathers, 10 when you obey the voice of the Lord your God, to keep his commandments and his statutes that are written in this Book of the Law, when you turn to the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul.

11 “For this commandment that I command you today is not too hard for you, neither is it far off. 12 It is not in heaven, that you should say, ‘Who will ascend to heaven for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?’ 13 Neither is it beyond the sea, that you should say, ‘Who will go over the sea for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?’ 14 But the word is very near you. It is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it.

15 “See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil. 16 If you obey the commandments of the Lord your God that I command you today, by loving the Lord your God, by walking in his ways, and by keeping his commandments and his statutes and his rules, then you shall live and multiply, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land that you are entering to take possession of it. 17 But if your heart turns away, and you will not hear, but are drawn away to worship other gods and serve them, 18 I declare to you today, that you shall surely perish. You shall not live long in the land that you are going over the Jordan to enter and possess. 19 I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live, 20 loving the Lord your God, obeying his voice and holding fast to him, for he is your life and length of days, that you may dwell in the land that the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them.”


The Holy Bible, English Standard Version Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers.


 

Questions to Consider:

1. To whom was this chapter written?

2. What are “all these things, the blessing and the curse which I have set before you” in verse 1? (Hint: Read Deuteronomy 28)

3. What are some of the material ways God promises to bless Israel if they will repent of their sin and obey Him (1-10)? Does God make these same promises of material prosperity to Christians today? Compare these promises to Israel with these promises God makes to Christians. Is God being inconsistent?

4. What would “I will circumcise your heart” (v. 6) have meant to an Old Testament Israelite? What does it mean for Christians today?

5. Was Israel capable of obeying God the way He was asking them to? (11-14) How does God enable Christians today to obey Him?

Wednesday's Word

Wednesday’s Word ~ Leviticus 26

Leviticus

 Leviticus 26

“You shall not make idols for yourselves or erect an image or pillar, and you shall not set up a figured stone in your land to bow down to it, for I am the Lord your God. You shall keep my Sabbaths and reverence my sanctuary: I am the Lord.

“If you walk in my statutes and observe my commandments and do them, then I will give you your rains in their season, and the land shall yield its increase, and the trees of the field shall yield their fruit. Your threshing shall last to the time of the grape harvest, and the grape harvest shall last to the time for sowing. And you shall eat your bread to the full and dwell in your land securely. I will give peace in the land, and you shall lie down, and none shall make you afraid. And I will remove harmful beasts from the land, and the sword shall not go through your land. You shall chase your enemies, and they shall fall before you by the sword. Five of you shall chase a hundred, and a hundred of you shall chase ten thousand, and your enemies shall fall before you by the sword. I will turn to you and make you fruitful and multiply you and will confirm my covenant with you. 10 You shall eat old store long kept, and you shall clear out the old to make way for the new. 11 I will make my dwelling among you, and my soul shall not abhor you. 12 And I will walk among you and will be your God, and you shall be my people. 13 I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, that you should not be their slaves. And I have broken the bars of your yoke and made you walk erect.

14 “But if you will not listen to me and will not do all these commandments, 15 if you spurn my statutes, and if your soul abhors my rules, so that you will not do all my commandments, but break my covenant, 16 then I will do this to you: I will visit you with panic, with wasting disease and fever that consume the eyes and make the heart ache. And you shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it. 17 I will set my face against you, and you shall be struck down before your enemies. Those who hate you shall rule over you, and you shall flee when none pursues you. 18 And if in spite of this you will not listen to me, then I will discipline you again sevenfold for your sins, 19 and I will break the pride of your power, and I will make your heavens like iron and your earth like bronze. 20 And your strength shall be spent in vain, for your land shall not yield its increase, and the trees of the land shall not yield their fruit.

21 “Then if you walk contrary to me and will not listen to me, I will continue striking you, sevenfold for your sins. 22 And I will let loose the wild beasts against you, which shall bereave you of your children and destroy your livestock and make you few in number, so that your roads shall be deserted.

23 “And if by this discipline you are not turned to me but walk contrary to me, 24 then I also will walk contrary to you, and I myself will strike you sevenfold for your sins. 25 And I will bring a sword upon you, that shall execute vengeance for the covenant. And if you gather within your cities, I will send pestilence among you, and you shall be delivered into the hand of the enemy. 26 When I break your supply of bread, ten women shall bake your bread in a single oven and shall dole out your bread again by weight, and you shall eat and not be satisfied.

27 “But if in spite of this you will not listen to me, but walk contrary to me, 28 then I will walk contrary to you in fury, and I myself will discipline you sevenfold for your sins. 29 You shall eat the flesh of your sons, and you shall eat the flesh of your daughters. 30 And I will destroy your high places and cut down your incense altars and cast your dead bodies upon the dead bodies of your idols, and my soul will abhor you. 31 And I will lay your cities waste and will make your sanctuaries desolate, and I will not smell your pleasing aromas. 32 And I myself will devastate the land, so that your enemies who settle in it shall be appalled at it. 33 And I will scatter you among the nations, and I will unsheathe the sword after you, and your land shall be a desolation, and your cities shall be a waste.

34 “Then the land shall enjoy its Sabbaths as long as it lies desolate, while you are in your enemies’ land; then the land shall rest, and enjoy its Sabbaths. 35 As long as it lies desolate it shall have rest, the rest that it did not have on your Sabbaths when you were dwelling in it. 36 And as for those of you who are left, I will send faintness into their hearts in the lands of their enemies. The sound of a driven leaf shall put them to flight, and they shall flee as one flees from the sword, and they shall fall when none pursues. 37 They shall stumble over one another, as if to escape a sword, though none pursues. And you shall have no power to stand before your enemies. 38 And you shall perish among the nations, and the land of your enemies shall eat you up. 39 And those of you who are left shall rot away in your enemies’ lands because of their iniquity, and also because of the iniquities of their fathers they shall rot away like them.

40 “But if they confess their iniquity and the iniquity of their fathers in their treachery that theycommitted against me, and also in walking contrary to me, 41 so that I walked contrary to them and brought them into the land of their enemies—if then their uncircumcised heart is humbled and they make amends for their iniquity, 42 then I will remember my covenant with Jacob, and I will remember my covenant with Isaac and my covenant with Abraham, and I will remember the land. 43 But the land shall be abandoned by them and enjoy its Sabbaths while it lies desolate without them, and they shall make amends for their iniquity, because they spurned my rules and their soul abhorred my statutes.44 Yet for all that, when they are in the land of their enemies, I will not spurn them, neither will I abhor them so as to destroy them utterly and break my covenant with them, for I am the Lord their God.45 But I will for their sake remember the covenant with their forefathers, whom I brought out of the land of Egypt in the sight of the nations, that I might be their God: I am the Lord.”

46 These are the statutes and rules and laws that the Lord made between himself and the people of Israel through Moses on Mount Sinai.


The Holy Bible, English Standard Version Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers.


 

Questions to Consider:

1. Who is speaking, and who is being spoken to in this passage? (v. 46)

2. What does God require of Israel in verse 3, and what does He promise them in verses 4-12?

3. What does verse 14 say Israel might do that would bring about the consequences mentioned in verses 15-39? What are those consequences?

4. What is this type of agreement between God and His people called (42, 44,45)?

5. Does God promise us today these same types of blessings for obedience and punishments for disobedience?

Family, Marriage, New Testament, Parenting, Sunday School

All in the Family ~ Sunday School Lesson ~ 12-21-14

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These are my notes from my ladies’ Sunday School class this morning. I’ll be posting the notes from my class here each week. Click here for last week’s lesson.

Through the Bible in 2014 ~ Week 51 ~ Dec.14-20
Acts 27-28, Colossians, Philemon, Ephesians, Philippians,
1 Timothy, Titus, 1 Peter

All in the Family

Background

This week we looked at seven New Testament epistles, all, except 1 Peter, written by Paul. All were written to encourage and/or instruct churches and pastors in doctrine and practices as they lived out the Christian life in the church, at home, and in the world. Four of these seven epistles specifically instruct family members on their roles in the home. Today, we’re going to take a look at God’s instructions to wives, husbands, children, and parents.

We’ll be using Colossians 3:18-21 as our outline, fleshing out each role with passages from the other epistles.

Colossians 3:18-21

 

Wives- Submit

Interestingly, in each of the four passages we’ll be studying today, the roles in the home are addressed in the same order: wives, husbands, children, parents. It’s of particular interest to me that wives are always addressed first. Although Scripture doesn’t tell us why this is the case, I would speculate that this might be for two reasons. First, it follows the order of the Fall (Genesis 2). Eve fell first, then Adam, and God gave her consequences first, then Adam’s. Second, wives -then and now- normally have the most responsibility for the day to day, “in the trenches” management of the home. We have an enormous impact on the emotional and spiritual tone of our marriages and family life.

Colossians 3:18- Submit for the Lord
We are submit to our husbands because it is “fitting in the Lord.” Not because they deserve it. Not because they’re awesome (and when they’re not we don’t have to submit). Not because we want to be the perfect wife. Because it is “fitting” in God’s eyes. This is the role God has ordained for us, and it honors Him when we obey Him.

Ephesians 5:22-24, 33b- Submit for the church
We are to submit to and respect our husbands as a picture of the church’s submission to Christ. In the same way that Hosea’s marriage to Gomer was a picture to Israel of God’s faithfulness to His adulterous people, our submission to our husbands should be a picture, especially to the church, of how the church is to be faithful and obedient to Christ.

1 Peter 3:1-6- Submit for our husbands
We are to be subject to our husbands to win them to godliness– to salvation if they are lost, to obedience to Christ if they are saved. Notice that this is accomplished by our example and behavior, not by nagging or talking them to death. Our “respectful and pure conduct” and our “gentle and quiet spirits” are attractive and winsome and can smooth the way for our husbands to desire to be more godly men.

Titus 2: 3-5- Submit for the world
We are to submit to our husbands “that the word of God may not be reviled.” Lost people are watching us. Will we live in obedience to God’s word and show them that it proves true? That they can trust the same Christ we trust?

Husbands- Love

Colossians 3:19- Love for your wife
Husbands are to love their wives and treat them kindly. The Greek form of the phrase “do not be harsh” means not to be bitter or resentful. Wives are imperfect, sinful people (just like husbands) and husbands are to be merciful and forgiving when their wives fall short, not hold bitterness or resentment against them.

Ephesians 5:25-33- Love for the world and the church
Husbands are to love their wives as a picture of Christ’s love for His bride, the church. Christ gave both His life and His blood for the church. When husbands daily love their wives in a self-sacrificing way, they are showing the world -and the church- Jesus.

1 Peter 3:7- Love for your own spiritual life
Husbands are to be understanding with their wives and honor them because they are brother and sister in Christ. Just as a rift between two fellow Christians can hamper their worship and church unity, sinning against his wife by failing to love her as Christ commanded will hinder a man’s relationship with the Lord.

Children- Obey

Colossians 3:20- Obey for the Lord’s pleasure
Children are to obey their parents. In everything. They are not to be allowed to back talk or do as they please in defiance of their parents. Why? It’s so simple even a child can understand it: this pleases the Lord. When children obey their parents, they are fulfilling the role God has ordained for them.

Ephesians 6:1-3- Obey because it’s right. Obey for your well-being.
Obedience to parents is right because God says it is. It is His very first “horizontal” (our relationship with others) Commandment in the Decalogue (the first four are “vertical”- our relationship with God). It is also the first Commandment with a promise- that things will go well for those who obey it.

Parents- Train

Colossians 3: 21- Train for their emotional well-being
Whom does Paul address in this statement? Fathers. While mothers have a huge responsibility to train their children in godliness on a daily basis, the buck stops with Dad. God has been holding dads responsible for their families since He called out, “Adam, where are you?” in the Garden. Fathers are not to rule with an iron fist, but encourage and grow their children in the ways of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:4- Train for their spiritual well-being
Paul again addresses fathers. Fathers are to take seriously their responsibility for the spiritual health of their families. They are not to act or treat their children in ways that frustrate them needlessly. Fathers are to train their children in the Scriptures and discipline them biblically.

Titus 2:4- Train out of love
This is the only part of these passages where Paul specifically addresses a mother’s relationship with her children. She is simply to love them. Of course, it is not loving to let a child do as he pleases. We have already seen that God commands children to obey their parents. So a mother is to lovingly train her child in God’s word and in obedience to God and to parents.

In His wisdom and goodness, God has ordained certain roles and responsibilities for each member of the family. We show our love and honor for God when we seek to obey Him by fulfilling our roles as He empowers and enables us to do so.