Speaking Engagements, Special Events

Women’s Events on a Shoestring Budget and Other Practical Tips

Like listening instead of reading?
Check out How to Host a Women’s Conference at
A Word Fitly Spoken, which was based on this article.


Have you ever wanted to host a women’s conference (or any event, really) at your church, but it just wasn’t in the budget?

My husband and I have served a lot of small churches, so those tight-knit fellowships and their pastors hold a special place in my heart – especially the ones who want to give their ladies a doctrinally sound alternative to those expensive mega-conferences whose doctrine can be questionable at best.

I’ve spoken at some absolutely wonderful conferences hosted by small churches, so I know it can be done with excellence if you’re not afraid to think creatively and work efficiently.

Here are a few suggestions to prayerfully consider if you’re putting together an event on a shoestring budget. And readers, I want to hear from you too – what has your church done to support and finance special events that has worked well? Add your comment in the comments section at the end of the article.

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I’m going to start with a principle that applies to anyone doing professional work for your church, from conference speakers, to the band playing a concert at your youth event, to the plumber fixing the pipes in the bathroom, to the accountant who does your church’s bookkeeping:

You must pay workers, and you must pay them a fair wage or fee in addition to their expenses (travel, lodging, etc.).

I’ve been blessed that every host church I’ve ever spoken at has understood this and has been very generous with me, but I’ve heard that there are Christians out there who expect anyone doing anything for their church to do it for free because it’s “ministry”. Some even begrudge paying their pastor a salary! This is not biblical. In fact, the Bible says just the opposite.

It often takes many hours of hard work to properly prepare for a speaking engagement, concert, etc. (And don’t get me started on how much time pastors put into their jobs compared to the salaries most of them earn.) This pre-event work as well as the event itself may take the worker away from her family or cause her to have to cancel other activities. She may even have to take time off from her regular job to work at your event. What she’s doing for you is work and she deserves to be fairly compensated for it. This is one aspect of your event that you can’t cut corners on.

Sometimes it is hard to know what a fair wage is for the worker you’re hiring. And, indeed, it will vary from worker to worker. Ask her for a number. Figure out whether or not that amount is feasible on your end. Then, be honest with her and let her know whether or not you can guarantee (not try to raise, not “take up a love offering at the conference and hope for the best” – guarantee) that amount. If you can’t, it is then up to her to decide whether or not she can afford to work at your event. Being honest and transparent from the get go helps remove a lot of the awkwardness that comes with talking about money. I know I always appreciate it.

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Now that you know one of the expenses for the event, it will be easier to estimate a budget to cover it and the rest of the expenditures. Sit down with your planning committee and prayerfully discuss the purchases you’ll need to make for food, decorations, and any other materials, and come up with a reasonable budget for your particular venue. Use godly wisdom and exercise good stewardship.

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Don’t try to compete with the expensive glitz, glam, and giveaways of mega-conferences. You do you, your church or host organization. I’ve seen many churches go with a “simple elegance” or “homestyle” or “local charm” level of theme and decor that has turned out perfectly lovely and welcoming (Check out some of the church events I’ve spoken at for some great ideas!). And remember, it’s the caring and hospitality of the hosts that will make the greatest impact on your attendees, not the swanky food, decorations and swag bags.

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Plan your event as far in advance as possible. Not only will this give you plenty of time to raise funds, but some expenses – plane tickets for your speaker, for example – go up as time goes by.

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While some speakers need to stay in a hotel for various reasons, others are perfectly willing to be fed and housed by church members, which can cut your expenses considerably. Ask your speaker which she prefers and be ready to graciously provide either type of accommodation.

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Go local. If you can find an appropriate speaker who lives in or near your town, it will cut down on your travel and accommodation expenses for her.

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Ask your pastor or elders if there is any money set aside in your church’s budget for the women’s ministry or special events. Find out whether or not you can use it and if there are any requirements for how it must or must not be spent.

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Put the word out to your whole church and ask for help. Make a list of the things you’ll need that people can donate or lend: fresh flowers from members’ gardens for centerpieces, table cloths, paper plates, small gift bag items like pens and notepads, snack items, etc.

You could even have some fun with it and throw a women’s conference “shower,” registering for the items you need (even WalMart and other discount stores have registries these days) and inviting the whole congregation to bring their gifts and come fellowship together. And don’t forget the “money tree” (or some other receptacle) for people who would rather give cash or a check.

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Take up a love offering from your congregation for conference expenses. If your conference is far enough ahead in the future, you might be able to take up two or three over time.

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Consider a crowdfunding campaign for event expenses such as Go Fund Me or Kickstarter (there are even Christian crowdfunding sites), or set up a PayPal account specifically for donations for the event. (Some Christians feel it is biblically inappropriate to ask non-Christians to donate to a Christian cause. You will need to find out where your church stands on this issue when deciding who to share the crowdfunding information with.)

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Have a good, old fashioned fundraiser at church, such as a church-wide “garage sale,” bake sale, or car wash.

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Consider partnering with another doctrinally sound local church (or two or three!) to co-host the event and split the expenses. (Check out their doctrine first. You can’t biblically partner with churches that teach false doctrine.)

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To recoup your expenses (don’t depend on these to cover expenses) and maybe set some money aside for your next event, consider selling tickets at a nominal price, suggesting a voluntary donation amount, or “pay what you can,” for tickets, and/or taking up a love offering at the event.

Most attendees could afford, say, a $5 ticket, and if you have 100 attendees, that’s $500 to start off next year’s event budget. You could also offer the option of sponsoring tickets. People who want to support the conference (even men or other church members who won’t be attending) could give enough money to cover a certain number of tickets, which could then be given away to women who would like to attend but can’t afford to.

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It should go without saying, but be sure to get your pastor’s, elders’, or other leadership’s approval every step of the way.

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With plenty of prayer, wisdom, organized planning, and good stewardship, it is possible for small churches to host an awesome event that will glorify God and be a blessing to the women of your church and community.


Here’s a question a few readers asked
in response to the article above.

I loved your article Womenโ€™s Events on a Shoestring Budget. The funding tips encouraged me to put on an event for our ladies, but our small church has never done anything like this before. What kind of event should we have and how should we get started?

I was so encouraged to get a couple of questions like this in response to my article. Even at a small church (and sometimes especially at a small church) a womenโ€™s event can really help refresh and build up the ladies of your church. It can be a great outreach to the ladies of your community, too.

I would recommend starting small and then growing year by year. For example, if I were in a church with an attendance of 50-150, I would start with an in-house (only ladies from your own church) mini-conference. A Saturday morning simple breakfast (coffee, doughnuts, fruit โ€“ food thatโ€™s easy to get, serve, and handle), followed by a local speaker (maybe the pastorโ€™s wife at a sister church, or even one of the ladies in your own church) and a couple of songs. You could end there, or possibly have a time of discussion around the tables afterward, or just allow the ladies to hang around and fellowship with each other.

The next year, you could build on that. Maybe the speaker does two sessions with a break between, and you invite/publicize to other local churches. The following year, you could do an overnight retreat or you could expand the conference to an all day thing and have more than one speaker. If you start small and grow your event each year, youโ€™ll learn things you should and shouldnโ€™t do differently along the way, and you wonโ€™t be biting off more than you can chew the first time out.

Another thing that might be a good idea is to have a meeting with all of your ladies and ask them what kind of event theyโ€™d like. You might be thinking โ€œconferenceโ€ and they might be thinking โ€œmovie nightโ€. Itโ€™s good to brainstorm and take the pulse of your ladies on what theyโ€™d prefer.

You could also get the men of your church involved in putting together and serving at your conference or event. I spoke at one conference where the men of the church actually put on the conference for their ladies โ€“ to honor and thank them. That was one happy bunch of ladies!

Just remember what I said in the article: Donโ€™t try to compete with the expensive glitz, glam, and giveaways of mega-conferences. You do you, your church or host organizationโ€ฆAnd remember, itโ€™s the caring and hospitality of the hosts that will make the greatest impact on your attendees, not the swanky food, decorations and swag bags.


Random Tips from My Own Event Experiences…

(These are all things my event hosts have done well that I’ve really appreciated. I’ll keep adding to this list as I think of things.)

Event Planning

There’s no need to re-invent the wheel. Check out previous events I’ve spoken at, and gather some great ideas for your own event!

When you plan an event, you need somebody who’s a good detail person to do a final “look-see” before you open the doors. There are a lot of little tiny details to attend to in order to put on a polished event. For example, if attendees need to write their own names on their name tags, you need to provide pens and ample table space for them to do so. If your event program is on a folded piece(s) of paper, it’s sweet that the 4-year-old class wants to help, but folding the programs probably isn’t the best job for them. Four-year-olds don’t tend to fold things very evenly, and they often leave 4-year-old grunge on everything they touch.

Be sure to ask your speaker what she will need while speaking. A microphone is a given, as is some sort of lectern that’s large and sturdy enough to hold her notes (I say “sturdy enough,” because I use my laptop for my speaking notes, and some music stands are notorious for sliding down if anything heavier than a sheet of paper is put on them). I don’t personally use any sort of PowerPoint or slides, but other speakers do, and they’ll need the appropriate tools and connections for that. A bottle of water is always helpful.

A few conferences I’ve spoken at have built into the conference schedule small group discussion time and/or unstructured fellowship time for attendees. It seemed like the ladies really enjoyed these times of interacting with each other.

One conference I spoke at included a craft time for attendees. The planners handled it very well, keeping the craft simple, with the materials pre-cut and laid out at each seat at the table, and allowing ample time to complete the project.

Your attendees may find a book table to be helpful. Make sure the books are doctrinally sound, by doctrinally sound authors (if I’m your speaker, I can provide a few suggestions if needed), and make it clear to attendees as to whether the books are free or for sale. If they’re for sale, clearly label the price of each book, and make sure someone is there to man the table during each break.

Food

If you’re providing lunch or dinner for your conference attendees, I’ve received some good humored input from women around the country about women’s events at their own churches that you might wish to take into consideration:

  • First, consider these ladies’ lament: “When we have a women’s event, they feed us salads and finger sandwiches, and I always leave hungry. At the men’s events, they get steak! I like steak too!”. Steak may not be the direction you want to go, but just keep in mind that salad isn’t every woman’s cup of tea, and a “light” lunch at an all day event may leave some of your attendees hungry. Soups, tea sandwiches, and salads are a great option, but consider providing something a little more substantial in addition, such as sandwich rolls and lunch meat, a couple of frozen (cooked, of course) lasagnas, pizza, or fried chicken.
  • Next, consider the type of food you offer. You may personally like beets chiffonade in a caviar reduction, but many women are not fond of fancy froo froo gourmet dishes. Keep it simple and try to offer something most people are used to and generally like (such as the aforementioned lasagnas, et al).

At one conference I spoke at, many of the dishes were labeled “gluten free,” “vegan,” etc. This could be very helpful for women with dietary restrictions.

At a few conferences I’ve spoken at, the event planner has asked me if I had any food allergies. Others (planning to take me out to eat) have asked if there are any cuisines (ex: Indian, Japanese) I don’t like so they can avoid those particular restaurants. As someone who tends to forget about little details like this, I have always found this very considerate. If you’re taking your speaker out to eat and you forget to ask about her preferences, you can always take her to a “general cuisine” type of restaurant (ex: Applebees, Chili’s, etc.) or suggest a few restaurant options for her to choose from.

Speaker Amenities

Try to anticipate any needs your speaker might have. Ask at various points throughout her stay and the event if there’s anything she needs.

If your speaker’s teaching sessions aren’t back to back, try to offer her a quiet room for resting between sessions. Although I love fellowshipping with attendees between sessions, I’ve learned that if I’m teaching multiple sessions per day, I have to be disciplined to rest my voice between sessions, or it will fizzle out toward the end of the day.

If possible, try to let your speaker know the makeup of her audience. For example: “We invited the ladies from the Catholic church down the road,” or “Several unsaved ladies will be attending the event.” I can’t speak for other speakers, but for me, having this information helps me pray better for the attendees, and reminds me to, for example, spend a little longer on my gospel presentation, explain “Christianese” lingo some attendees might not be familiar with, etc.

I don’t know about other speakers – this might be just me – but when I travel, especially to somewhere I’ve never been before, I love to experience as much of the local culture and food as I can within the limited time I’m there. Is there a certain dish that’s iconic to your area? I probably want to try it (check with me first – there are certain foods and textures I just can’t handle). I loved having authentic deep dish pizza in Chicago and clam chowder in Cape Cod. Is there a particular natural wonder or historic site your area is known for? If there’s time, and it isn’t inconvenient, it would be great to at least drive past it so I could take a few pictures. This goes for hostess gifts, too. Not that I need or expect a hostess gift, but if you’re doing one anyway and are stumped for ideas, some of my favorite gifts have been those that remind me of your area – the sunflower dish towels from my Kansas hosts, caramel corn from the boardwalk from my New Jersey hosts, local honey from my Illinois hosts, etc. (Just keep in mind that if your speaker is flying, she may have limited space for packing gifts, and there may be certain items the airline won’t allow on the plane.)

Travel

Airlines now apparently feel it’s appropriate to cancel flights and change the departure/arrival times of flights on a whim. If you’re picking up or dropping off your speaker at the airport, be sure to check the arrival/departure time of her flight periodically to see if it has changed. Because if you have a speaker who’s as lame-brained as I am, she might think the airline informed you of the time change and forget to tell you about it until the day she’s arriving (oops!).

If you’re picking up your speaker from the airport, ask if she’s going to need to eat upon arrival. There’s often no time to eat a meal when changing planes, she may not have been offered a meal on the plane, and some airlines have now even discontinued in flight drinks and snacks.

I am often met at the airport by an event planner I’ve never laid eyes on before. Recently, an event planner met me at the airport wearing her church t-shirt. That was really helpful to me in recognizing her.

If you’re booking your speaker’s flights and she has to change planes at a large airport (ex: DFW, Atlanta, O’Hare), I would suggest a minimum of a one hour (not 45 or 50 minutes- one hour, if humanly possible) layover. In my experience: the first flight is often delayed, cutting down on your speaker’s time to make her connection. She may have been forced to valet check her carry-on suitcase on the first flight, which means that, on arrival, she will have to wait for it to be unloaded – more connection time lost. The gate for her connecting flight will probably be on the other side of the airport, which could take a significant amount of time to walk/shuttle to. She will probably also need time to eat a meal during her layover, which necessitates locating and getting to an appropriate eatery (possibly not very close to her gate), standing in a long line to order, waiting for her food, and eating. And let’s not forget, she also needs time to visit the restroom. My personal preference is a 1 1/2 to 2 hour layover. Other speakers may differ.

Accommodations

Whether your speaker is staying in a hotel or a host home, she will probably need access to Wi-Fi. Be sure to provide her with any password or other info she might need.

If your budget will allow this expense, ask your speaker if she’d like to bring her husband or another companion with her. It’s not a necessity (and I’m not usually able to bring anybody with me anyway) but it’s a very gracious offer.

Promoting Your Event

First make sure you’re advertising well to your own church. Put an announcement in the bulletin every week, put fliers up around the church (inside the stalls in the ladies’ room is always a good place!), announce it in the church newsletter and church-wide email, if your church puts announcements on the screen before the service, put a slide about the event in the rotation, have the pastor announce and promote it during the announcements time of the worship service. Have your adult Sunday School teachers announce it every week. Encourage members to come and to invite friends.

Create a Facebook event on your church’s FB page, share it around a lot, ask your church members to share it around a lot, and tag any nearby churches, pastors, or women’s orgs you think would be appropriate.

Contact any local networks or associations your church is affiliated with (if you’re Southern Baptist, contact your local association) and send them a flier they can email out or put in their newsletter.

Email, mail, or hand deliver fliers / info to all churches that are physically nearby your church. (Do keep in mind that some of those churches probably don’t share your church’s theology, which could cause friction. Ask your pastor for advice.)

If you have a local Christian radio station (even if it’s not particularly doctrinally sound) consider advertising, or see if they have some sort of free “community calendar” type of thing where the DJs announce local events on the air.

Contact any Christian bookstores or Christian-owned businesses you know of and ask them if they would put up a flier.

If your local newspaper has a feature where they announce events at local churches, send in a notice. (Also – again, if you’re Southern Baptist – contact your state SBC newspaper and see what their options are for running some sort of announcement.)

Speaking Engagements

Reliance on God and His Word Conference Audio

 

It was my joy, recently, to speak at the Reliance on God and His Word conference at Princeton Bible Church.

PBC was so kind to record audio of the main sessions of the conference:

I hope you’ll enjoy my two sessions…

Relying on God and His Word

 

Be Ye Doers of the Word and Not Reliers Only

 

You can also listen at PBC’s website and hear Amy Spreeman’s wonderful sessions as well!

If your church is ever in need of a speaker for a womenโ€™s event, Iโ€™d love to come share with your ladies as well. Clickย hereย for more information.

Speaking Engagements

Report Back: Reliance on God and His Word Women’s Conference

It was such a blessing to speak last weekend at Princeton Bible Church’sย Reliance on God and His Word women’s conference. I was tremendously encouraged, and I hope you will be too as I share a bit about the conference with you.

PBC is beautiful and homey

Thursday evening was a delicious potluck dinner with the ladies of PBC. I’ve learned two things from traveling around to different churches: 1) church ladies are the same everywhere you go (And why wouldn’t we be? We’re all sisters in the same family!) so I always feel at home, and 2) church ladies know how to cook! A wonderful time of good food and sweet fellowship was had by all (which is why I forgot to take a picture – I was too busy enjoying myself!).

Amy Spreeman and me

On Friday, at long last, I got to meet my dear friend, Amy Spreeman, for the first time face to face. What a gift this woman is to the body of Christ! Intelligent and well-studied, wrapped in the grace, humility, and compassion becoming of a woman of God, Amy is a joy and a delight. It has been my pleasure to recommend Amy and her uber-helpful materials at Berean Researchย andย Berean Examiner many times here at the blog. I was honored to share the stage with her at the conference.

Getting ready for the first session

Friday night was the opening conference session. My talk centered around the theme of the conference, Reliance on God and His Word, and dealt with the authority and sufficiency of Scripture, and the necessity of God’s Word in our daily lives.

Saturday’s festivities kicked off with an ample breakfast in the gym for all. Sustenance is necessary for a full day of Bible teaching!

Amy’s main sessions and breakout session centered around discernment, false gospels, and the New Apostolic Reformation. I found the sessions helpful and informative, and I’m sure all the other ladies did, as well.

My main session explored applying the sufficiency and authority of God’s word to our every day lives in the areas of obedience and godly decision-making. In my breakout session we discussed the application of Scripture when dealing with situations of sin and suffering.

The ladies were also treated to sessions from one of the lovely ladies of PBC, Deb Bullington, as well as a missionary who spoke about her experiences.

You can listen to the audio from the conference at PBC’s website.

First Thessalonians 5:18 was a verse I used in one of my sessions, so I was delighted to see this hanging just outside the sanctuary.

A long day of teaching, fellowshipping, and answering questions builds up quite an appetite, so after parting from these wonderful women of God, PBC’s Pam, Erika, and Erika’s husband, Mike, whisked me off to The Prime Quarter Steak House where I continued my travel tradition of eschewing souvenirs in favor of eating the food most iconic to the locale – in this case, hearty Midwestern beef.

The Prime Quarter offers the option of grilling your own steak!
I decided I had had enough excitement for one day and left it to the professionals.

I loved seeing the picturesque farmland of Illinois.
This beauty is right across the street from the church.

PBC’s women’s committee kindly made sure I got some souvenirs anyway: regionally harvested honey, locally made chocolates, a magnet of Princeton, and a journal (which just happens to have my favorite flower {pink roses} and a verse from my favorite Psalm {37} on the front).

After a lovely Sunday morning service worshiping with my brothers and sisters at PBC, it was time to say goodbye. Many thanks to Pam, Erika, Mike, Justin, Curtis, Jessica, and all the hard-working men and women of Princeton Bible Church for your sweet hospitality and for putting on such a wonderful conference. I highly recommend this warm and welcoming church to anyone in the Princeton area who is looking for a doctrinally sound body of Believers to join.

If your church is ever in need of a speaker for a womenโ€™s event, Iโ€™d love to come share with your ladies as well. Clickย hereย for more information.


Photo Credits:

1- Photos courtesy of Princeton Bible Church
2- Photo courtesy of Amy Spreeman
3- Photos courtesy of The Prime Quarter Steakhouse (Facebook)
(All other photos by Michelle Lesley)

Speaking Engagements

Report Back: Memphis

A couple of weekends ago I had the blessing of speaking at Providence Baptist Church’s spring women’s conference. It was such an encouraging experience I wanted to share a little about it with you.

Pastor Kelly & Gayle Smith, Scott & Michelle Lesley

What a joy it was to finally meet my Twitter friend Gayle, who heads up the women’s ministry at Providence, and her husband, Pastor Kelly. PBC generously and graciously hosted not only me, but also my husband and two of our sons, for the weekend. After we arrived in Memphis Friday afternoon and got settled in to our lovely hotel rooms – hospitably stocked by Gayle with every snack two teenage boys (and their parents!) could dream of, as well as some charming locally made gifts – Gayle and Kelly took us out for – what else? – barbecue!

Corky’s BBQ not only had thisย amazing sweet and spicy barbecue sauce, they had a phenomenal Memphis specialty, the Sweet Tea Fried Chicken Sandwich. They marinate the chicken filet in sweet tea overnight before frying it. There are not words, y’all. You’ll just have to find a Corky’s and order this delicacy for yourself.

On Saturday, the gents set off to see the sights of Memphis, including the iconic Memphis Pyramid, which now houses a spacious Bass Pro Shop (yeah, you might have to be Southern to grasp the attraction)…

…while I was treated to the sights of a beautifully bedecked PBC, all set to welcome the ladies coming to the conference.


(Trust me, if you want to be sure
the women of your church see something,
put a flier in the ladies room!)ย 

One of the primary issues Christian women need instruction on today is the centrality of the Bible in our lives and our churches, so that was the core message of the two sessions I taught. In the morning session,ย The Necessity of the Bible, we focused on the fact that Scripture is the very words from the lips of God Himself, our desperate need for the Bible, and practical ways to import more of God’s Word into our daily lives.

After a delicious luncheon and warm fellowship, we gathered again forย Recapturing Sola Scriptura: The Sufficiency and Authority of Scripture.ย In this session, we zeroed in on the folly of extrabiblical revelation, the supremacy of God’s Word, and the need for our lives and our churches to be ruled by rightly handled Scripture.

You can read some of what I spoke about in my Basic Trainingย series articles:

The Bible is Necessary
The Bible is Sufficient
The Bible is Our Authority

I couldn’t have asked for a kinder reception
or a sweeter group of ladies!

There was just enough time for a brief rest, and then it was off to another Memphis favorite, Gus’ World Famous Fried Chicken, for supper. These folks know how to do chicken spicy, just like I like it!

Sunday morning was a warm time of worship and fellowship with the saints at PBC under the excellent preaching of Pastor Kelly. What a kind and welcoming church body this is! If you’re looking for a friendly, doctrinally sound church in the Memphis area, I couldn’t recommend one more highly than Providence Baptist of Bartlett.

If your church is ever in need of a speaker for a womenโ€™s event, Iโ€™d love to come share with your ladies as well. Clickย hereย for more information.


Photo Credits:

1- Photos courtesy of Gayle Smith, Providence Baptist Church
2- Photo courtesy of Corky’s Memphis (Facebook)
(All other photos by Michelle Lesley)

Mailbag, Speaking Engagements

The Mailbag: Potpourri (Joni’s testimony, “Messy”, Female seminary profs…)

Welcome to another โ€œpotpourriโ€ edition of The Mailbag, where I give short(er) answers to several questions rather than a long answer to one question.

I like to take the opportunity in these potpourri editions to let new readers know about my comments/e-mail/messages policy. Iโ€™m not able to respond individually to most e-mails and messages, so here are some helpful hints for getting your questions answered more quickly. Remember, the search bar (at the very bottom of each page) can be a helpful tool!

Or maybe I answered your question already? Check out my article The Mailbag: Top 10 FAQs to see if your question has been answered and to get some helpful resources.


Our church has a ministry for the homeless where once a week, lunch is provided and a Bible Study is given usually by a woman, occasionally by a man to a mixture of both men and women. Some might be saved, probably most are not. What are your thoughts in regard to this situation from a Biblical perspective?

Great question! I’ve answered it in #11 of my article Rock Your Role FAQs.


We watched a video of Joni Eareckson Tada speaking at a recent Shepherds Conference. She gave her testimony and shared the meaning of Scripture and what some Greek words were so there was teaching going on as well as testimony. I know she is thought of highly but I was wondering about her speaking and teaching to groups of men.

Joni is not someone I follow closely, though I did read her first book, Joni, when I was a teenager. John MacArthur heads up the Shepherds Conference, which is a conference for men in church leadership, particularly pastors (“shepherds”).

Just to give a little background for anyone not familiar with him, Dr. MacArthur is a staunch complementarian and is a doctrinally sound pastor, teacher, and author I am happy to recommend to my readers. He would never invite a woman to preach at ShepCon nor invite a doctrinally unsound speaker. So I trust Dr. MacArthur’s judgment and reasons for inviting her to speak – that he was not inviting her to preach.

That foundation being laid, there are instances in which it is perfectly biblically appropriate for a woman to speak in front of a co-ed Christian group or a group of Christian men, and giving her testimony – so long as she does not veer off into preaching (instructing and/or exhorting men in the Scriptures) – is one of them. I’ve written more about that, giving examples, in these articles:

Rock Your Role FAQs (#7, 14)

The Mailbag: Should women give testimonies and reports, lead prayer and worship in church?

I have not listened to the talk Joni gave at ShepCon. It is possible that I would think her explanations of Scripture crossed the line into teaching, but it is also possible I would not. I just can’t say since I haven’t listened to it. (I would not consider giving the definition of a Greek word or two to be the type of biblical instruction prohibited by 1 Timothy 2:12.)

I would be more inclined to look at Joni’s history and intentions. Did she come to ShepCon with the intent of preaching or instructing men in the Scriptures? Does she have a track record of preaching sermons or giving Bible instruction to men at conferences? If the answer to both is no and she is normally very careful to stay within the parameters of biblical womanhood, I’d be inclined to extend grace on any bobbles she made during her testimony at ShepCon. It’s a very fine line to walk, and I’m sure I would probably make a few mistakes too if I were in that situation.

Update: Thanks to reader DebbieLynne (see comments section) for the heads up that Joni actually gave her testimony at the Strange Fire Conference (2013, also spearheaded by John MacArthur), not at the Shepherds Conference. Strange Fire was co-ed rather than men only. Whether or not women were in attendance at the conference doesnโ€™t really change my answer to the reader, but itโ€™s good to have the facts straight.


Is it OK for women to teach pastors-in-training at seminaries?

John Piper recently answered this question on an episode of Ask Pastor John. You should read his response for yourself (it’s not long), but, essentially his answer was that experienced pastor-mentors should be training up young pastors, and since it is unbiblical for women to serve as pastors themselves, they lack the experience necessary to mentor pastors-in-training. And, my word, the egalitarian world had a fit – including Beth Moore and her daughter Melissa (who helps run Beth’s ministry):

While I consider him to be a generally doctrinally sound brother in Christ, I’m not particularly a fan of John Piper, but I do want to say that I think his answer was taken wildly out of context by those pushing unbiblical agendas, that he was treated shabbily by many on social media, and that I thought his answer was very good, biblical, and just plain old made sense. Women are not qualified to serve as pastors. Why on earth would we want them training pastors? Moreover, what student wouldn’t want the most qualified and experienced professors he could get for his tuition money?

Let’s say you were the dean of the neurosurgery department at a medical school. A gentleman, totally blind from birth, comes in and applies for a position teaching surgical practicum (cutting, suturing, removing tumors, etc.). He has held positions teaching various subjects at other universities so his ability to impart information is not in question, but he has never performed surgery in his life because he’s blind. Would you hire him to train neurosurgeons to perform brain surgery?

The reason Dr. Piper’s answer caused a bit of a kerfuffle is that he limited his answer to the question he was asked. Imagine that. He was asked if women should train pastors and that’s the question he answered. The agenda-driven screaming neemies took his answer of “no” to mean that no woman should ever teach anything to anyone in any seminary anywhere ever. That is not what Dr. Piper said. He said women should not train men for the pastorate.

I would have answered the same way. However, if I were to expand on Dr. Piper’s answer, what I would further explain is that most seminaries (at least the ones I’m familiar with) do far more than simply train men for the pastorate. Take the seminary my husband attended for example, New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. If you’ll click on the “Academics and Admissions” tab at the top of the page and examine the various degree and non-degree programs, you’ll find that most of them are not strictly preaching programs. There are programs for women’s ministry and children’s ministry (Surely we wouldn’t say women are unqualified to teach in these areas?), college ministry, urban ministry, music ministry, missions, counseling, languages, and many more. There’s nothing wrong with women teaching things like music theory, finance, general education classes like math, history, and English, archaeology, legal issues, languages, business, etc., even in a seminary.

There are definitely some classes women shouldn’t be teaching in seminaries, but there are plenty of other classes that would be fine for them to teach.


Since we’ve become parents my husband and I have mostly attended churches that were larger and offered childcare. We were saved out of Mormonism eight years ago which has its own order of services and no childcare provided for the main service, but I don’t know what to expect from a Christian service that doesn’t offer childcare. I don’t know what will be expected of me and my family. I have a four-year-old and I worry that he will end up running around or asleep on the pew. Do we call ahead? Pack a busy bag? Are snacks alright? How do you ever get anything out of the service for yourself?

Before I answer, I want to encourage readers who are experienced church members to really let this precious sister’s question sink in and inform the way you respond to visitors and new members. Increasingly, the people who are new to your church will have very little church background. Church culture may be old hat to you, but it’s like landing on Mars to many of them. They have no idea where to go or what to do, and they don’t speak Christianese. Make sure you warmly welcome and encourage newbies and let them know that it’s OK to ask questions.

I think my article Churchmanship 101: Training Your Child to Behave in Church will help with some practical tips and expectations. You should not allow your child to run around the sanctuary during the worship service any more than you would allow him to run around a restaurant if you went out to eat, or a store if you were shopping, but I would not get overly stressed about him making a few minor noises or dropping the occasional Bible during church. If a church doesn’t offer childcare, they’re surely used to children making a little noise during the service from time to time. Sermon-time naps at four years old are not the end of the world, but you’ll want to curb those as he approaches school-age (if he can stay awake all day in school, he can stay awake for 30 minutes or an hour in church).

Until your child gets into the routine of attending worship and learns how you expect him to behave, you may not get very much out of the service. That’s just one of those parts of being a mom that we all have to accept – like stretch marks :0) But if you will be consistent and diligent as you train your child, he’ll get with the program soon enough.

When you ask if you should “call ahead”, if what you mean is calling the church office prior to Sunday and asking any questions you might have, that is a super idea! Most pastors I know would be delighted to chat on the phone or in person to welcome you to the church and help you feel at ease. That is the point at which I would ask about snacks. Different churches have different policies about food and drink in the sanctuary. I’ve never heard of one that wouldn’t allow a baby bottle, but some may not be keen on the idea of Cheerios ground into their carpet. You could also ask if they have a “cry room”. Some churches have set aside a room near the sanctuary where you can take a fussy baby or jumpy toddler. Many of them have the sermon “piped in” so you can listen until you go back into the worship service. You might also want to ask if the worship service is recorded and posted online so you can listen at home to any parts of the sermon you may have missed. Never be afraid to ask an honest and polite question.


I have been hearing the word messy a lot in reference to our lives..has this word replaced the word sin?

Well…I suppose it may have for those who are trying to sand off the sharp edges of the gospel, but the biblical term is sin, so that’s the correct word to use, despite how popular “messy”, or any other trendy word, might be.


Can you recommend any doctrinally sound female speakers for women’s events?

(I promise this is an actual question I recently received, not one I made up for promotional purposes! :0)

Yes, me. Click the “Speaking Engagements” tab at the top of this page for more information.

If I’m not really your cup of tea, or I’m too far away for your travel budget, I happily recommend any of the women listed under the “Recommended Bible Teachers” tab at the top of this page (although I’m not positive all of them do speaking engagements).


If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (Iโ€™ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.