Category: Parenting

4.

Thou shalt make a pro-active decision
that thy household will be a Godly one.

“Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it;”
Psalm 127:1

When you build a house, you don’t simply wish it into existence. You have to have plans drawn up, buy the right materials, find the right place to build, and actually get out there and start sawing and hammering.

The same is true of having a Godly household. It doesn’t just happen by virtue of the fact that you and your spouse are Christians. You have to sit down together and make a definite decision, preferably before you even get married, that your home will be run in a Godly way.

Where will we attend church? How often will we have family devotions? What is our understanding of what the Bible has to say about what is and is not acceptable behavior for us as spouses and for our children? How will we respond when one of us sins or when the children are disobedient? What will we do if one of us feels that God is presenting us with an opportunity for a new career or to move to a new location?

Naturally, you can’t foresee every scenario that might come up in the future, but if you lay a Godly, Biblical foundation from the start, you won’t have to re-invent the wheel every time a new situation arises. You will have developed a Godly “policy and procedure” for facing life.

3.

Thou shalt have a Christ-centered marriage.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. ¹⁰ For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! ¹¹ Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? ¹² And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

There are so many little details to attend to when you’re planning a wedding. Will the guests throw rice or blow bubbles? Will the bouquets be wrapped with pink ribbon or white? Will the groomsmen wear bow ties or regular ties? For someone like me who has to see absolutely every option available to her before making a decision, it can be a daunting and time-consuming task. Such was the day I sat down to pick out napkins for my reception.

Before I undertook the planning of a wedding, I never would have guessed that it would take more than about 30 seconds to choose napkins. You just pick out some napkins that go along with the color scheme of the wedding, right? Au contraire. There are huge ring binders (yes, that’s binders, plural) chock full of hundreds of napkins in every imaginable color, size and texture. Once you nail down those preferences, you have to choose what you want embossed on the napkins. There, too, the choices are nearly endless.

So, I flipped through page after page of embossment designs, finding them either too corny, too plain, or otherwise unacceptable. Finally, I came to a very interesting one that I eventually chose. It quoted the second half of Ecclesiastes 4:12, “A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart,” with a picture above the verse of a cord of three strands wound together. The ends of the outer two strands were tied to wedding rings, and the end of the middle strand was tied to a cross.

I had never noticed this little verse before that day, but I thought about how beautifully the principle behind the passage could apply to a Christ-centered marriage. When a person is alone, she can quickly become overwhelmed. A spouse can help to bear the burdens of life, but the strength of a marriage of only two people pales in comparison to a marriage centered around a third Person- Christ.

The primary reason our marriages must center around Christ is that it brings Him glory. But there are certainly blessings to our homes that go along with honoring and obeying Christ in our marriages. Study after study has shown that children do best in a home where their parents are married to each other. They are physically and emotionally healthier, do better in school, are less likely to commit crimes, etc. But when you add in the component of spouses treating each other in a Godly manner and striving to set a Godly example for their children, the quality of the home environment rises even higher. Just as putting God first in our own personal lives makes us better parents, so, putting Christ first in our marriages glorifies God and benefits us and our children exponentially.

2.

Thou shalt put God first in thine own life.

“You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.” Deuteronomy 6:5

Christians were designed by God to glorify Him, and the way we do that is for Christ to have preeminence in every aspect of our lives. It’s kind of like having your car in the proper alignment. When you’re a Christian and you’re striving after God’s heart for your life, even when problems arise, things tend to go much more smoothly and peacefully. God comes first, and everything falls in line behind that. If you’re a Christian walking in disobedience to God’s word or trying to do things in your own strength instead of depending on Christ, there is going to be an undercurrent of feeling out of whack (because, let’s face it, things are out of whack), like you’re spinning your wheels. You’re likely to be more irritable, fearful, and confused.

From which of these spiritual places do you want to come when relating to and rearing your children? Which is more beneficial to you and to them? Which is more pleasing to God?

When you’re obeying God and staying in His word and in prayer every day, He is working in you to make you more Christlike. More patient, more kind, more conformed to His image. He’s making you a better daughter to Him, a better wife to your husband, a better mother to your children, a better friend to those around you, a better employee to your boss.

It’s the Army’s slogan, but I think it fits Christianity so much better: “Be all that you can be.” And that can only be done in Christ, because without Him, we are nothing. Pursue Christ first- to glorify God, for your own good, and to better serve your family.

1.
Thou shalt be a Believer.

“They said, ‘Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved,
you and your household.'”
Acts 16:31

I can’t imagine undertaking a task as huge as parenting without some divine intervention. It’s a tough job!Most things in life are simpler when you’re a Christian. Not necessarily easier, but usually less complex. Take parenting, for example. If you’re a Christian, parenting by God’s word, you have a plan of action all laid out for you. You don’t have to re-invent the wheel. What should I teach my kid about religion? What do I tell him about pre-marital sex? How do I reassure him about death? It’s all in the Book. If your parenting doesn’t begin and end with the Bible, it can be a much more confusing, fly by the seat of your pants operation.

When you’re a Christian parent, you have the benefit of all the resources in God’s storehouse. You’ve got a God who, at the end of a rough day, says, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28); a God who promises that wisdom is yours for the asking (James 1:5); a God whose name is “the Lord will provide” (Genesis 22:14); a God whose eyes “…move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.” (II Chronicles 16:9).

Finally, when you’re a Christian parent pursuing holiness in your own life, God is working on you to make you more like Him: more loving, more joyful, more peaceful, more patient, kinder, better, more faithful, gentler, and more self-controlled. (Ephesians 5:22-23) God is sanctifying you, making you more Christlike, and enabling you to pour the gospel into your children day by day, so that they might come to know Christ as savior. As a parent, there’s nothing more important.

>I was talking to some friends the other day about some children I had recently seen misbehaving in a restaurant. The following two excerpts came up during the conversation. The first is from a waiter from Colorado who shared his experience on The Stained Apron ( http://stainedapron.com/misc.htm), a discussion site for waitstaff. Except for “bleeping” out some profanity, I have quoted it verbatim. The second was a personal experience of one of the friends I was talking to.

As you read, if you have children, think about the way they behave themselves in public now, as well as the way you will want them to behave as adults.

“One night I’m managing my little Mexican restaurant and it’s super slow, maybe three deuces in the whole place. I’m talking to the hostess and for some reason she asks who the worst customers are. Without hesitation I say, “Christians.” Being a gigantic Christian she is shocked and asks why.

I tell her about another restaurant where I worked where on Saturday nights, after late night mass I would always get this table of Catholics that would run my *** of, want a dozen separate checks and would leave me this folded up piece of paper that looked like a twenty. On the inside of the paper it said “Why are you disappointed that this isn’t money? All the riches of heaven await you if you take Jesus as your savior.” As a lapsed Christian I have taken Jesus as my savior, but little pieces of paper that aren’t actual money don’t pay my **** rent.

I continue telling her similar stories about how stingy Christians are especially on Sundays. You couldn’t pay me fifty dollars an hour to wait tables on Sunday morning right after church. Everyone is a complete ****. All those little kids who aren’t allowed to run around screaming in church have carte blanche in my restaurant. Then they argue about the service. Then they argue about the prices. Then they leave a quarter on the table because they just gave 10% to God, so why should they give even a dollar to some guy that just brought them coffee and pancakes. After an hour of berating Christian customers the hostess is in tears and asks to go home early. So, I send her home.

Next time I work with this hostess she apologizes to me. After I sent her home she called her Pastor, then went to his house and told him all the horrible things I said. The Pastor was disturbed and in Bible Study the next week he initiated a discussion about restaurant etiquette. He found that his whole flock were **** in restaurants and bad tippers. He then quoted some scripture that went along the lines of “The law of the land is also my law and you shall obey it.” Then said that tipping 10% or better was the law of the land. It’s a small dent in the bad Christian customers, but hopefully it will spread.”

“My brother-in-law used to work as a manager at a local fast food place and he always said that Sunday afternoons and evenings (after the morning and evening services ended) were the WORST times to be working. The after church crowds never failed to (1) be rude to the workers (2) trash the dining room and the salad bar (3) let their kids run from table to table (4) leave their messes.

Three years of this and he refused to set foot in a church for like another five years. He didn’t want to be around those people.”

Whether we’re conscious of it or not, our actions as parents have an effect on those around us. Are we raising our kids so that their behavior, both now and when they reach adulthood, draws people towards Christ or pushes them away?