Christmas

Christmas Mythbusters

Was Jesus really born in a barn? Did the angels actually sing? How many wise men were there, really?

There are lots of components of the Christmas story that we’ve come to accept as gospel truth, but that the Bible doesn’t actually teach. Here are some great resources to help us better understand the details surrounding the biblical account of the birth of Christ.

Did Mary ride a donkey to Bethlehem?

The Bible doesn’t tell us, so we don’t know for sure. She could have ridden a donkey. She could have ridden in a cart. She could have walked. All Scripture tells us is that Mary and Joseph went to Bethlehem. It doesn’t say how they got there.

Was Mary in active labor when she and Joseph arrived in Bethlehem?

It makes for dramatic nativity movies, but it’s very unlikely. God Himself had given Joseph the enormous and grave task of taking care of Mary and Jesus. You’ve seen first time dads and the weight of responsibility they feel to protect and provide for their wives and their own babies. This was God’s Son. Joseph must have been quaking in his sandals to make sure he got everything right. He certainly would not have waited until Mary was near her due date and risked her delivering the baby in the open country on the trip (not to mention outside of Bethlehem, which would have failed to fulfill prophecy).

Luke 2:6 says:

And while they were there [in Bethlehem], the time came for her to give birth.

“While they were there,” not “as soon as they got there.” “The time came,” not “IT’S TIME, JOSEPH! Find me a room NOW!” The phraseology of this verse suggests that Mary and Joseph spent some time in Bethlehem before Jesus was born. Rather than taking Mary to Bethlehem at the last minute, it’s much more likely that Joseph carefully prepared for the trip, made sure to get there with plenty of time to spare, and made arrangements to stay in Bethlehem until the baby was born.

Was Jesus born in a barn or stable? And what about that innkeeper?

Luke 2:7 tells us:

And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

To our western minds, an inn is like a hotel – a business that rents rooms to travelers.  But in biblical times, the cultural rules of hospitality dictated that travelers stay with family, friends, or anyone who would extend hospitality to them. Thus, there was no hotel-like “inn” in Bethlehem, and, of course, no innkeeper.

The Greek word kataluma, usually rendered as “inn” in Luke 2:7 is more accurately rendered “guest room” or “upper room” (of a home) – the same sort of “upper room” Jesus used for the Last Supper. One of Joseph’s relatives would have welcomed him and Mary into their home when they got to Bethlehem. But because Bethlehem was packed with visitors arriving for the census, the guest room of the home they stayed in was likely already full. So instead of giving birth in the crowded upper room of the home, Mary moved to the lower room. This lower room would have had space for the animals to be brought in at night, complete with a feed trough (manger), giving her a convenient cradle for the little Lord Jesus to lay down His sweet head. Jesus was not born in the kind of barn or stable we think of in America and usually see in traditional nativity scenes.

Once more: Jesus was not born in a stable by Ian Paul

Born in a Barn (Stable)? at Answers in Genesis

Jesus Was Born in a Stable? at When We Understand the Text

Did Mary ride a donkey to Bethlehem? Was she in active labor when she arrived? Was Jesus born in a barn/stable? And what about that innkeeper? Time to bust some popular Christmas myths!

Did Jesus cry as a baby?

The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes
But little Lord Jesus, no crying He makes

Until I started researching this article, I didn’t realize that some people think Jesus never cried as a baby because of these two lines from the Christmas carol Away in a Manger.

I don’t think that was the hymnist’s intent. The stanza reads as though, in that particular moment when He woke up, Jesus was content and happy, not that He never ever cried.

Furthermore, we know from Scripture that Jesus was not only fully God, He was also fully human. Human babies cry when they’re hungry or tired or sick or in pain or a thousand other scenarios. That’s how they communicate. Jesus was a real live human baby who cried, nursed, spit up, burped, needed His diaper changed, fell down when He was learning to walk, and had to be potty trained. The only type of crying we know He never did was sinful crying – because He didn’t get His own way, because He was angry and frustrated, etc. – since we know Jesus was without sin.

Hark! Did the “herald angels” actually sing?

It’s possible, but we don’t know for sure. We know that the gloria in excelsis deo proclamation was spoken to the shepherds because Luke 2:13-14 says.

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, โ€œGlory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!โ€

But it also says they were praising God. In the Bible, though praise can be expressed in many ways, singing is one of the most common and natural ways of praising God. So while we know the angels weren’t singing exclusively, there’s no reason they couldn’t have been singing at some point.

Hark! The Herald Angels Said? at Answers in Genesis

Do Angels Sing? at Got Questions

How many wise men were there, exactly?

At least two (because the Bible speaks of them in the plural), but possibly a whole passel of them. Our minds are set to “three” because the Bible mentions that they brought three gifts: gold, frankincense, and myrrh, because of Christmas carols like We Three Kings, and because every nativity set comes equipped with three wise men. But it’s just as possible that two wise men gave three gifts, or that three gifts were given corporately by a larger group of wise men.

We Three Kings at Answers in Genesis

What does the Bible say about the three wise men (Magi)? at Got Questions

How many wise men came after Jesus was born? at CARM

Did Jesus cry as a baby? Hark! Did the “herald angels” actually sing? Just how many wise men *were* there, exactly? Ready to bust some Christmas myths? Check this out!

Were Anna and Simeon married to each other?

Nope. Not even a little bit.

The end of Luke 2 tells us the story of Mary and Joseph taking Jesus to the temple to offer the appropriate sacrifice for Him as “the first male to open the womb”. While they’re there, Simeon shows up and prophesies over Jesus and Mary. And “at that very hour” Anna also “began to give thanks to God and to speak of him to all who were waiting for the redemption of Jerusalem.” But nowhere does the passage even hint that they were married to each other, or that they even knew one another.

I think a lot of people mentally marry Anna to Simeon because their stories are back to back, because they showed up at the temple at the same time, and because we tend to assume they were both elderly. (Anna was at least 84, but, technically, we’re never told Simeon’s age or that he was elderly.) But verse 37 clearly tells us that Anna “lived as a widow”. She wasn’t married to anyone, including Simeon.

Who was Simeon in the Bible? at Got Questions

Who was Anna the prophetess in the Bible? at Got Questions

How many babies were murdered in the slaughter of the innocents?

Matthew 2:16 tells us that an enraged King Herod “sent and killed all the male children in Bethlehem and in all that region who were two years old or under” in an attempt to murder Jesus. We tend to think of scores, even hundreds, of babies being murdered in this event which has come to be known as “The Slaughter [or Massacre] of the Innocents.” But as the beloved Christmas carol states, it’s “O little town of Bethlehem”. Bethlehem had a population of approximately 1500. Statistically speaking, scores or hundreds of baby boys age two and under in a population that size would have been impossible. Twelve to fifteen – still a horrifying tragedy- would be more accurate.

Truth or Fiction: Did Herod Really Slaughter Baby Boys in Bethlehem? by Paul Maier

Were Anna and Simeon married to each other? How many babies were murdered in the slaughter of the innocents? Let’s bust some Christmas myths!

Does Christmas have pagan origins, and does that mean Christians shouldn’t celebrate it?

No, and no. Christians celebrating the incarnation of Christ is Christian, not pagan, and Christians are free to celebrate (or not) Christ’s incarnation any day of the year, including December 25.

Do some aspects of the celebration of Christmas find their origin in millennia-old paganism? Possibly. But are you participating in that paganism if you put up a tree or give gifts at Christmas? Probably not. The โ€œChristmas is paganโ€ lore is so ancient and uncertain that most people arenโ€™t even aware of it. How could you possibly be participating in paganism if youโ€™re not even aware of its existence, you have no intention of participating in it, and it has nothing to do with your reasons for celebrating?

Read more: Is Christmas Pagan?

Does Christmas have Catholic origins, and does that mean Christians shouldn’t celebrate it?

Maybe you’ve heard people say that the word โ€œChristmasโ€ means โ€œChristโ€™s mass,โ€ so Christmas is Roman Catholic and Christians shouldnโ€™t celebrate it or use the word โ€œChristmasโ€.

Itโ€™s true that the word โ€œChristmasโ€ is a shortened form of โ€œChristโ€™s massโ€. It first appeared in English usage as Crฤซstesmรฆsse in 10381, and, at that time, it did refer to the Roman Catholic mass celebrating the birth of Christ.

Youโ€™ll note that 1038 was long before the Protestant Reformation. In 1038, Roman Catholicism was the primary manifestation of any form of Christianity. There was no other church. So, at that time, if you were going to refer to a religious observance of the birth of Christ, you naturally would have couched it in Catholic vernacular. You would not have had any other frame of reference for Christianity.

But the word โ€œChristmasโ€ has come a long way in the last thousand years. It no longer refers exclusively or primarily to a Roman Catholic mass. It refers to all kinds of things surrounding December 25 and the birth of Christ, from a Christmas worship service at your own doctrinally sound church to Christmas sales, presents, trees, carols, 5Ks, parties and everything else under the sun that takes place this time of year. Itโ€™s perfectly fine for Christians to use the word โ€œChristmasโ€. I mean, โ€œThursdayโ€ started out as โ€œThorโ€™s Day“. Itโ€™s actually named after a false god, and none of us bat an eye when it rolls around every week, so why would โ€œChristmasโ€ be problematic?

But if you have a sensitive conscience and it bothers you to use the word โ€œChristmas,โ€ why not try on โ€œIncarnation Dayโ€ and see how it fits? Or maybe โ€œNoelโ€? It derives from Old French and means โ€œbirthโ€ or โ€œbirthdayโ€1.

As for celebrating Christmas, itโ€™s not required by Scripture, so you donโ€™t have to observe the day if you donโ€™t want to, but I would plead with you, donโ€™t use โ€œbecause itโ€™s Catholicโ€ as your reason. Donโ€™t dignify that evil, apostate religious system โ€“ which has sent millions to Hell โ€“ with the power to be a factor in your spiritual decision making. Donโ€™t let it keep you from celebrating the birth of your Lord in the biblical way of your choosing. They donโ€™t have that right, and you shouldnโ€™t give them that power. I would encourage you to read my article Is Christmas Pagan?. Everything in it applies to Catholicism as well.

1Christmasโ€“ Wikipedia

Does Jeremiah 10:3-4 (and other passages) prohibit Christmas trees?

for the customs of the peoples are vanity.
A tree from the forest is cut down
    and worked with an axe by the hands of a craftsman.
They decorate it with silver and gold;
    they fasten it with hammer and nails
    so that it cannot move.
Jeremiah 10:3-4

Itโ€™s imperative to look to Scripture to make sure that none of our Christmas traditions conflict with Godโ€™s Word. But we need to make sure we’re handling God’s Word rightly and in context. 

If we read all of Jeremiah 10, it’s very clear that the entire chapter is talking about idol worship. The English Standard Version even has a little heading at the top that says, โ€œIdols and the Living Godโ€.

Verses 3-4 of Jeremiah 10 are not referring to Christmas trees. They’re talking about ancient pagans – not Christians – chopping down trees to create wooden idols to worship, not chopping down a tree and decorating it – as is – in honor of the birth of Christ, or for any other reason. Itโ€™s talking about the crafting of wooden idols. 

We know this because of the phrase in verse 3, “worked by the hands of a craftsman”. Some translations render it “a craftsman shapes it with his chisel”. The craftsman carved a piece of wood into an idol which was then often dipped into or plated with gold or silver. This is exactly whatโ€™s being described in verses 8-9:

the instruction of idols is but wood!
Beaten silver is brought from Tarshish,
    and gold from Uphaz.
They are the work of the craftsman and of the hands of the goldsmith;
    their clothing is violet and purple; [the clothing the craftsman would dress the idols in]    
they are all the work of skilled men.

Idol worship is the “custom of the peoples (pagans) that is vanity,โ€ as it says in verse 3, and that is what God prohibits in this passage, not Christmas trees.

Neither do the passages of Scripture that refer to idol worship taking place under โ€œevery green treeโ€ prohibit Christmas trees. I can only surmise this false belief came into being because โ€œevery green treeโ€ sounds like โ€œevergreen tree,โ€ which is what Christmas trees are. There are several verses that use this phrase, โ€œevery green tree.โ€ Hereโ€™s one of them:

You shall surely destroy all the places where the nations whom you shall dispossess served their gods, on the high mountains and on the hills and under every green tree. Deuteronomy 12:2

Again, all of the verses that use this phrase are talking about idol worship, because thatโ€™s apparently where the idol worship took place. The tree itself wasnโ€™t intrinsically evil, itโ€™s the fact that people were using it in their idol worship.

So, unless you’re worshiping your Christmas tree as an idol, or youโ€™re using your Christmas tree as some sort of altar from which to worship an idol, your Christmas tree itself isnโ€™t evil. You donโ€™t have to have a Christmas tree in your house if you donโ€™t want one, but you canโ€™t use these Scripture passages to justify your choice or to bind the consciences of other Believers.

Are Christmas Trees Pagan? at When We Understand the Text

Should Christians have Christmas trees? by John MacArthur

Isn’t using the term “X-mas” somehow taking Christ out of Christmas?

No. But itโ€™s kind of understandable that people would think that the โ€œXโ€ in X-mas is removing Christ or genericizing Christmas. We use the letter X as an unknown variable in math. We might see a detergent commercial in which one of the bottles is labeled โ€˜brand Xโ€™ instead of its real name. So it can kind of seem like X is a place-filler or that it can stand for practically anything. 

But thatโ€™s not the case with the X in X-mas. That X has a finite value. X = 1, the One and only, Jesus Christ. How do we know that?

In the term X-mas, rather than the letter X taking Christ out of Christmas, the letter X actually stands for Christ.

Read more: The Mailbag: Merry “X-mas”?

Christmas is pagan, or Catholic? Scripture forbids Christmas trees? X-mas takes Christ out of Christmas? These Christmas myths are BUSTED!

There are lots of myths about Christmas flying around out there. And there are lots of sentimental and striking details of the Christmas story we’ve come to embrace over the years. But it’s imperative that we get our theology from the Bible, not Christmas carols, traditions, and assumptions. Yet even more important than donkeys and stables and trees is why Jesus came – to save sinners like you and me.


Additional Resources:

Christmas Mythbusters at A Word Fitly Spoken

25 Christmas Myths and What the Bible Says by Gabe Hughes


Please note, I am not thoroughly familiar with the theology of every site linked above. I have only vetted the specific articles that are linked. I do not endorse anything at the sites above that conflict with my theology as outlined in my “Statement of Faith” and “Welcome” tabs at the top of this page. Please reject any theology you may come across at these sites that conflicts with God’s Word.

Christmas

Nativity Scenes and the Second Commandment

Originally published December 10, 2019

Have you ever heard someone say that nativity scenes, Christmas ornaments, Christmas pageants, and other Christmas items or activities which portray the baby Jesus (with a figurine, a doll, a live baby, pictures, etc.) break the second Commandment even though the portrayal of the baby Jesus isn’t being worshiped?

Some of my brothers and sisters in Christ believe that any representation of Jesus – be it in a manger scene, a painting, a movie, pictures of Jesus in children’s Bibles, flannelgraphs, Bible story pictures used for teaching children or on the mission field, etc. – violates the second Commandment…

You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments.

Exodus 20:4-6

…whether or not that representation of Jesus is being worshiped. It is the mere act of making or displaying the representation which breaks the Commandment.

This is not something any church I’ve ever been a member of has taught, but because I’ve heard this point of doctrine from theologically sound friends I respect, I wanted to take a closer look at the pertinent Scriptures to make sure I wasn’t doing something wrong. I’ve had nativity scenes and children’s Bibles and used flannelgraphs and been in Christmas musicals that depict Jesus all my life and never gave it a second thought. But if having and doing those things conflicts with Scripture, I want to stop.

But, having examined the Scriptures in context, while I respect and admire my friends’ desire to honor the Lord by not using representations of Him, I simply don’t find that the Bible prohibits occasionally depicting Jesus in reverent, not-for-the-purpose-of-worship ways. Here’s why:

Having examined the Scriptures in context, I simply don’t find that the Bible prohibits occasionally depicting Jesus in reverent, not-for-the-purpose-of-worship ways. Here’s why…

1.

Consider the macro-context of Exodus 20. What was going on in the history and culture of Israel at that time? God was setting Israel apart from other nations as His own special possession and establishing Israel as a nation. And what was the preeminent characteristic that was to set Israel apart from the pagan nations? Israel was to be a witness to all the nations of the one true God. They were not to worship idols (which, at that time, were generally carved figures of created things). Not instead of God. Not in addition to God. Not at all. The second Commandment is a command not to worship carved figures as idols.

2.

Examine the immediate context of Exodus 20:4-6. It follows verses 1-3, which establish the supremacy of God above all other gods, and specifically state that Israel is not to worship any other gods.

3.

Take a close look at the content of Exodus 20:4-6. The passage doesn’t say anything about making a representation of God Himself. Jesus had not yet been born when this was written, so this passage could not have been talking about making a representation of Jesus. It talks about making representations of created things in the sky (planets, the sun, etc.), on the earth, and in the water, and worshiping them. And certainly, calling any graven images “God” and worshiping them as God would also be prohibited (Remember the golden calf incidents?)

4.

It would seem to me that to be consistent in saying “no representations of Jesus” folks who hold to this belief would also have to say “no representations of anything” because what Exodus 20:4 plainly says is “you shall not make for yourself…any likeness of anything.” No photographs of anything, no drawings, paintings, or sculpture of anything, no Xeroxing anything, nothing. In fact, I think that would be closer to the actual wording of the passage than “no representations of Jesus,” which, again, this passage does not mention.

5.

The cross references I found for Exodus 20:4 are Leviticus 26:1, Deuteronomy 27:15, and Psalm 97:7. All of them refer to idol worship.

6.

There are at least two occasions in the Old Testament in which God instructs Moses to make a graven figure, and both of these instances are far more conducive to actual worship of the figures than a nativity scene or a Sunday School flannelgraph.

There are at least two occasions in the Old Testament in which God instructs Moses to make a graven figure, and both of these instances are far more conducive to actual worship of the figures than a nativity scene.


The first instance – just five chapters after the second Commandment – is found in God’s instructions for the Ark of the Covenant. God instructs Moses to have the people make two cherubim (angels) for the mercy seat (lid) of the Ark. They were not to worship the cherubim (or the Ark), but the Ark was the holiest object used in Israel’s worship ceremonies. It would have been easy for the people to cross the line and worship it or the cherubim, yet God commanded the making of these not-for-worship figures to point the people to Him. (And guess what was put into the Ark right underneath those graven figures? The two tablets of the 10 Commandments, including the second Commandment.)

The second instance was when God instructed Moses to make the bronze serpent. Anyone who had been fatally snake-bitten could look up at the serpent and his life would be spared. How much more likely would an Israelite have been to worship the bronze serpent, commissioned by God and instrumental in saving his life than we are to worship a picture of Jesus in a children’s Bible? Jesus Himself said that this graven figure pointed ahead to His death on the cross, using it as an illustration of His crucifixion. Much like a nativity scene is an illustration of His incarnation.

Now, if God Himself commissioned the casting of these figures of created things, not to be worshiped, but as tools to point people to Himself, would it stand to reason that He would prohibit reverent representations of Christ that point to or teach about Him? Comparing the second Commandment with these two instances of graven figures demonstrates to us that God expects His people to be able to distinguish between using objects as tools or illustrations that point to Him and worshiping those objects.

God expects His people to be able to distinguish between using objects as tools or illustrations that point to Him and worshiping those objects.

“But if you see pictorial representations of Jesus, you’ll have those images in your mind, and they’ll pop up in your head while you’re worshiping or praying, and then you’ll be worshiping those mental pictures of Jesus, and that’s a violation of the second Commandment.”

If that’s an issue for you, then you definitely shouldn’t view representations of Jesus. But you need to understand that not everyone’s brain works that way. Sometimes when we’re singing in church, an image of my husband, or children, or a beautiful sunset, or whatever the lyrics evoke will pop up in my head. Does that mean I’m worshiping any of those things? Of course not. And for me – and others, I’m sure – any representation I’ve seen of Jesus that happens to pop into my brain is on the same level as those other things. It’s just some random thing I’ve been reminded of, not something I’m worshiping, and it flits out just as quickly as it flitted in.

“But having a pictorial representation of Jesus in your head is worshiping that image.”

No, that is definitionally not the case. Thinking of something is not the same thing as worshiping it. If it were, we’d be guilty of idol worship every time a picture of anything popped up in our brains. There’s a difference between a picture of something randomly popping up in your mind and intentional, purposeful worship.

“But depicting Jesus pictorially, in a nativity scene, or otherwise, could cause a brother or sister who does believe it’s a second Commandment violation to stumble.”

That’s absolutely true, and for that reason, those of us who have the freedom of conscience to use representations of Jesus ought to fulfill our responsibility to those brothers and sisters in Christ. As I’ve learned more about their side of the issue, I have all but eliminated using pictorial representations of Jesus on my blog, social media, etc. I don’t normally display any representations of Jesus in my home, but if I had a friend coming over at Christmas who was sensitive to this, I would certainly remove the baby Jesuses from all of my nativity scenes until she went home. My freedom of conscience comes with a responsibility of love and concern for my brothers and sisters in Christ.

My freedom of conscience comes with a responsibility of love and concern for my brothers and sisters in Christ.

In the end, this issue is an issue of Christian liberty. It is not a sin nor a violation of the second Commandment to use occasional reverent representations of Christ to point people to Him. It is also not a sin to desire to honor the Lord by refraining from using representations of Christ and finding other ways to point people to Him. Whichever side of the issue we come down on, let us make sure we are respectful and loving to those on the other side, not making a law for them where no law exists, nor accusing one side of sin or the other of legalism.


Additional Resources:

When We Understand the Text Podcast (at the 13:36 mark) with Pastor Gabriel Hughes

OK, I just thought this was hilarious. Josh is Baptist. John is Presbyterian. And these two images capture the essence of this article really well. John made a great point about his own theology using humor. I love that.โ™ฅ๏ธ

Christmas

The Worst Christmas Songs of All Time

For me, part of the reason Christmas is the “most wonderful time of the year” is the music. There are the old favorites as well as some great new songs that have come out over the years. Unfortunately, there are some stinkers out there, too.

Everybody has her own taste, so the songs that give you the Christmas crazies are probably different from the ones that get on my nerves, but, here, in no particular order, are my (and your!) picks for the worst Christmas songs of all time.

I’ll keep adding those Christmas songs you love to hate to the list every year (Could there possibly be any more?), so feel free to nominate your choice for the worst of the worst in the comments. And, while I can’t imagine why you would want it, if you need a playlist of all of these horrid songs, here you go: The Worst Christmas Songs of All Time.

1. The Christmas Shoes– Hi, we’re going to write a song that’s a blatant attempt at emotional manipulation, and then if you say you don’t like it, people will think you’re heartless. Merry Christmas.

2. Last Christmas– Really? We have to listen to co-dependent whining about a break up in a Christmas song? And from Wham?

3. Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer– This has such a catchy tune. It’s too bad the family in this song belongs on a reality TV show.

4. Same Old Lang Syne– This is my pick for the absolute worst “Christmas” song (it really has nothing to do with Christmas) of all time. The only good thing I can say about this is, at least the people in the song didn’t actually have an affair. It’s bleak, it’s immoral, it’s depressing, and it’s the same four bars of melody over. and. over. and. over.

5. Must Have Been Old Santa Claus– “Happy ho, ho, ho to you.” Four. million. times. Kill me. Kill me now.

6. Baby, It’s Cold Outside– Because nothing says “Merry Christmas” like attempted date rape by a drink drugging letch.*

*(Baby, It’s Cold Outside was added to my original article Top 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time in 2014, long before the #MeToo movement, and long before the explanation of what the composer of Baby, It’s Cold Outside purportedly meant by it was in general circulation. My brief evaluation of this song is based solely on the impression I was left with by the lyrics, much the same way people took umbrage with Reckless Love based on the lyrics alone, despite Corey Asbury’s explanation of what he supposedly meant when he wrote it. I am not a liberal, a feminist, or on the #MeToo bandwagon. I’m confident my track record bears this out, and I’m appalled by accusations to the contrary based solely on my one sentence reaction to this song. Don’t go there.)

7. Santa Baby– They could have named this song “Sugar Daddy” or “Implied Sexual Favors in Exchange for Obscenely Expensive Gifts.” Same thing.

8. Mistletoe– I’m just going to make a rule right here, right now: no Christmas songs that force middle-aged people to go to Urban Dictionary to understand the lyrics. My kids had to explain to me what “shawty” means. Apparently, it’s similar to a “bae.”

9. Do They Know It’s Christmas?– Stop having Christmasy fun RIGHT NOW. Just STOP IT. Don’t you know there are people starving in Africa, you soulless oaf? And, seriously, who puts the word “doom” in a Christmas song?

10. Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s Christmas Canon– It pains me to list this one because I love TSO, I love children’s choirs, I love Pachelbel’s Canon in D, and I love the idea of trying to Christmas it up. But I would rather eat a ten year old fruitcake than listen to this.

11. Please, Daddy, Don’t Get Drunk this Christmas – I can just picture the artistic meetings that took place on this one: “We need a new Christmas song for your next album, John. Any ideas?” “How about a potential domestic violence case set to country music? That’ll fill everybody’s heart with Christmas cheer!” 

12. Dominick the Donkey
Dear Italy,
Please stick with what you do best – food
and opera.

13. Happy X-Mas, War is Over (So This Is Christmas) – Excuse me, but I think you’re looking for Woodstock. Go back several decades and hang a left.

14. I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas– Why not? I wanted a monkey for Christmas when I was a kid. I stand in solidarity with this kid and every other kid who wanted a ridiculous animal for Christmas and never got one. (To be honest, I think this song is kinda cute. I include it on behalf of all my readers who said it’s driving them to the loony bin.)

15. Hard Candy Christmas – Maybe I’ll wallpaper my bathroom. Maybe I’ll get a mohawk. Maybe I’ll eat cold Spaghettios right out of the can. MAKE๐Ÿ‘UP๐Ÿ‘YOUR๐Ÿ‘MIND๐Ÿ‘

16. Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time – There’s good 80’s synthesizer and there’s bad 80’s synthesizer. I’ll let you guess which one earned this song a spot on the list.

17. White Winter Hymnal – “It’s lyrically fairly meaningless.” That’s what the songwriter had to say about this song. Dude, lemme ‘splain you something about songwriting. When you have a cool piece of music like this, don’t waste it on meaningless lyrics. Collaborate with a good writer and make it an awesome song with meaning. (Let me also take this opportunity for my annual reminder: Pentatonix is not a Christian group, regardless of the songs they record. According to Pride magazine, “Two of Pentatonix’s members, Scott Hoying and Mitch Grassi, are openly gay, and the group vocally supports the LGBT community.”)

18. Driving Home for Christmas – This song is the musical equivalent of driving across west Texas. And by that, I mean – monotonous. (Sorry west Texas, but you know it’s true.) At least he didn’t regale us with the number of each mile marker as he passed it. Thank the Lord for small favors.

19. I’m Gettin’ Nuttin for Christmas – Quick! Somebody get the rod of correction – this kid is out of control! Cute, but not your best work, Shirl.

20. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus – Kid witnesses Mom stepping out on Dad and is traumatized for life. Just one more reason not to lie to your kids about Santa Claus. (Tell them it’s Dad, ladies, and you can kiss him all you want! :0)

21. All I Want for Christmas Is You – I don’t know what kind of deal Mariah Carey made with every single one of the eleventy two million FM stations in the country to play this song every time anyone turns on the radio between November and January, but it was a doozy. Are you hearing it in your sleep yet? Is your dog singing the doo-wop parts?

(Full disclosure – This one made the list because you overwhelmingly demanded it. I actually dig it. It’s exactly the kind of mid-’50’s – early ’60’s flavor I love. Just not every time I turn around. Please don’t hate me. :0)

22. Mary, Did You Know? – I know, I know, some of y’all are going to unfollow me over this one. You love this song. I did too … the first nine thousand times I heard it or had to sing it in choir. And I think that’s probably the main reason so many of my followers requested that I put this one on the list. It’s been beaten to death like a too-stiff meringue.

Did she know? Did she not know? Let’s settle that argument once and for all:

Mary, did you know that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
No.

…would calm a storm with His hand?
No.

There are no Old Testament prophecies which predicted that the Messiah would walk on water or calm a storm.

give sight to the blind man?

The blind will see
The deaf will hear;
The dead will live again!
The lame will leap
The dumb will speak
The praises of the Lamb!

If Mary knew her Bible (and if you’ll check the cross-references to the Magnificat, it certainly seems she did), she most likely knew the Messiah (i.e. her “baby boy”) would do these things. However, she wasn’t omniscient and wouldn’t have known the specific timing or circumstances surrounding these healings and resurrections.

Everything else in the song (He would deliver her, He is Lord of all Creation, etc.) is either stated or implied in Old Testament prophecy about the Messiah (which Mary would probably have known), in Gabriel’s announcements to Mary and Joseph, or both.

So, yeah, except for the walking on water and calming the storm parts, she knew.

Debate over.

23. The Little Drummer Boy (Carol of the Drum) – You just know some man came up with the idea for this song, right? No mother in her right mind who’s just given birth – even Mary – would welcome some kid banging on a drum with the little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay. You would think that … but you would be wrong, because this song was written by one Katherine Kennicott Davis. I guess her kids were heavy sleepers.

(If you actually like drums, just not the song, check out this drumline version that partly drowns out the song. And, did you know they made a kids’ movie out of this cacophonous carol?)

24. Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town (the Bruce Springsteen version) He sees you when you sing flat. He knows when you’re off key. He’s only leaving coal for you – naughty, naughty, naughty.

25. Do You Hear What I Hear? – Is the tail of the star as big as a kite, or as long as a kite’s tail? If the song had a voice as big as the sea, how could the shepherd boy help but hear it? In fact, how could he even hear the lamb asking him the question? And wouldn’t a talking lamb be more impressive than a song with the volume on high? How does a shepherd get an audience with the king? And why would he suggest silver and gold for a freezing baby instead of blankets or a nice snow suit? (Guess that’s why he’s a shepherd, not a king.)

I have questions.

26. The Cherry Tree Carol – This is called “writing under the influence,” kids. Mary’s a queen, Joseph’s got anger management issues, and Jesus speaks while in utero. Uh huh. Don’t tell me chemicals weren’t involved in that composition.

27. My Favorite ThingsTHIS IS NOT A CHRISTMAS SONG. You can put jingle bells behind it all the livelong day and it will still. never. be. a. Christmas. song. N-E-V-E-R. Only Julie Andrews is allowed to sing this song, and only in war-torn Austria. Did I mention it’s not a Christmas song? I said what I said.

28. Mary Was the First One to Carry the Gospel – Everything about this song is great but the hook. That is just ๐Ÿคข.

This is why we can’t have nice things, fellow Southern gospel lovers.

29. The Most Inconvenient Christmas – Oh no. NoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNO. Are you KIDDING me? These guys are professing Christians and they churn out this theological cataclysm? When something is “inconvenient,” that means it clashes with our previous plans, or it’s difficult to get done, or it doesn’t fit with our timetable, or we had to go out of our way to do it. And because of all that, it’s an unpleasant task that we’re reluctant to do.

Say it with me, sisters: NOTHING IS “INCONVENIENT” TO GOD. Nothing. He is the God who upholds the universe by the word of His power. He is omnipotent, omniscient, everlasting to everlasting, God Almighty, King of kings and Lord of lords who spoke all of Creation into existence. Sending His only Son into the world to live a perfect life and die a horrible, agonizing, bloody death for your sin and for mine was not “inconvenient” for God. It was His plan from eternity past. And it wasn’t difficult for Him. And He didn’t do it begrudgingly or reluctantly. He did it because He loves you that much, and He rightfully loves His own glory even more.

I’ve been an Oak Ridge Boys fan since I was a kid, but this is one of the most offensive songs I’ve ever heard. It impugns the very nature and character of God. It’s the Reckless Love of country Christmas music.

30. I Never Knew the Meaning of Christmas – I hate to break it to you guys, but you still don’t know the meaning of Christmas.

Dear Santa- Please bring these boys a Bible for Christmas.

31. Christmas Time Is Here– I have loved A Charlie Brown Christmas since I was a child, and the lyrics of the song are great, but this 1960’s piano lounge slow jazz is the musical equivalent of a 6 year old engulfed in ennui whining, “I’m boooooooooooooooored,” on a grey, drizzly winter day. It’s minor. It’s dissonant. It makes me want to open the back door and toss a kid out into a snow bank head first.

32. A Marshmallow World– This is another one I added simply due to reader demand, but I really think y’all are wrong on this one. This is a cute song. Who doesn’t love marshmallows, whipped cream, and sugar dates with your sweetie? (“People who live in Wisconsin and spend their winters shoveling those mounds of marshmallows off the driveway, Michelle!”)

33. Grown Up Christmas List– “…and my greatest desire is world peace,” you can almost hear the beauty pageant contestant gushing. My grown up Christmas list includes a new toaster and a gift certificate for having my carpets cleaned. Am I supposed to feel guilty about that?

(I’m posting the Amy Grant version because it gets extra “worst” points for the schmaltzy synthesizer and tug-at-your-heartstrings kiddies with candles, but also because, as she’s a professing Believer who – among other things – is perversion-affirming, I wanted to let you know, if you didn’t already, Amy is one to be avoided.)

34. Redneck 12 Days of Christmas– I’m all for tacky and twangy, but … yeah, that’s just annoying.

35. Dogs Barking Jingle Bells– I wouldn’t want to listen to it more than once every few years, but I just think this one is funny. Listed by popular demand. (Plus, when you search for this song on YouTube, you wind up with a bunch of hilarious videos of animals “singing” Christmas songs.)

36. Silent Night by the TemptationsSilent Night makes nearly everybody’s list of favorite Christmas carols, but honey. Come on. This is a really bad rendition of a really good song. I happen to like the Temptations, so I was a little surprised when this song was nominated, but what they did to this lovely song … well let’s just say “temptation” is apropos. You’ll face all sorts of temptation listening to this… the temptation to stuff your ears with cotton … the temptation to flee screaming … the temptation to throw your phone across the room to just. for. the. love. MAKE IT STOP.

37. It Was A… (Masked Christmas)– A Christmas song about COVID-19 lockdowns. Is there any Christmas we’d like to remember LESS? And what’s an Ariana Grande? Sounds like something you’d order at Starbucks. (Honestly, I wanted to put the first Ariana Grande Christmas song I came across on this list, but the lyrics were too perverse to share with you. In a Christmas song. Let that sink in.)

38. Santa Tell Me– I don’t have any funny little quips for this one because it’s just sad. This young lady needs Jesus so badly. If you have a few seconds, please pray for Ariana Grande’s salvation. The lyrics of this song sound like a prayer to Santa Claus. Santa doesn’t exist, isn’t omniscient, and can’t tell you whether you’ll still be with that same guy next year.

I had to post the lyric video of this song because, although the lyrics are fairly innocuous, the official music video contained some inappropriate material. Don’t watch it.

39. Jingle Bells? by Barbra Streisand– Nominated by my dear sister, Amy Spreeman, in our 2023 Christmas episode A (Word Fitly Spoken) Christmas Carol (see below). Can she call ’em or can she call ’em? As I said in the episode, this is a perfect musical illustration of what bi-polar disorder is like. (The video is awfully cute, though. Peep the titles of many of Babs’ films on signage, sweaters, etc.)

40. Hallelujah– Another fairly meaningless song from Pentatonix. (Did I mention this is not a Christian group? Oh yeah, I did, in #17.). It has nothing to do with Christmas; best I can tell, the lyricist has confused David with Samson in the second verse; he threw in some random phraseology (which I guess he thinks is metaphorical imagery, but it’s really just literary gibberish) about relationships; and then he peppered the whole mess with the word “Hallelujah,” which literally means “Praise the Lord”. I don’t get it, and I don’t think the songwriter or Pentatonix get it either.

Listen in to A (Word Fitly Spoken) Christmas Carol, and hear both Amy’s and my nominations for the worst (and best) Christmas songs!


 Agree? Disagree?
What do you think is the
worst Christmas song of all time?


Christmas, Mailbag

The Mailbag: My kid knows the truth about Santa. What if he tells his friends who don’t?

Originally published December 3, 2018

We have raised our five year old to know that Santa Claus isn’t real. Now that he’s getting old enough to have conversations with his little friends, how do we explain to him what to say to them when they talk about believing in Santa? I don’t want him to crush their dreams but I also don’t want to teach him to perpetuate the lie for his friends.

This is a great question, and one my husband and I also had to address with our own children, since we raised them to know that Santa Claus isn’t real.

Before I tackle your question, I’d like to address Christian parents who tell their children Santa Claus is real, that he is the one who brings their presents, etc.:

I’m sure you have the best of intentions and only want to make Christmas fun for your children, but when you tell them these things about Santa Claus, you are lying.

Santa Claus isnโ€™t real. If you tell your children he is, or that he is the one who brings their presents, or that he knows whether theyโ€™ve been naughty or nice, youโ€™re lying. The Bible says that lying is a sin, period. Thereโ€™s no exception for jolly old elves who pass out toys (or for tooth fairies or Easter bunnies, either, for that matter). And not only is lying a sin, it is extraordinarily hypocritical to lie to your children about Santa Claus and then turn around later and punish them when they lie about something. Lying to your children about Santa Claus teaches them that itโ€™s OK to lie (i.e. sin) when you want to or when it would be to your advantage.
Excerpted from: The Mailbag: What should we tell our kids (and grandkids) about Santa Claus?

And this reader has raised another ripple effect of your sin of lying. You’ve now put your brothers and sisters in Christ in the difficult position of figuring out how not to blow your cover when their child (who knows the truth) interacts with yours. Do they teach their child to take part in your lie, or do they risk their child telling the truth, disappointing your child and possibly angering you? And think about the pressure on a five year old child to try to keep something like that a secret, knowing someone will be disappointed if he doesn’t. You’ve created a no-win situation for people you are supposed to self-sacrificially love, encourage, and edify.

Our sin always negatively affects others.

Our sin always negatively affects others.

We did our best to thread the needle by teaching our children to stay out of it. Every year, we reminded our kids – before family gatherings, play dates, etc. – that some kids believe Santa is real. If a friend inquired, “What did you ask Santa for this year?”, our kids could reply, “I asked my parents for a bike.” If any of their friends asked them if Santa was real, we told our kids to tell their friends to ask their parents.

You might want to give something like that a try, or maybe you can come up with a different solution that’s helpful to the situation. Don’t fret about it, though. Most kids learn the truth about Santa between ages 5 to 10, and most of them learn it from their friends. If you have a friend who freaks out at you because your five year old told the truth about something, it could be time to reevaluate that friendship, or at least the level of intimacy of that friendship. (And if it’s a family member, well…this, too, shall pass.)

If you have a friend who freaks out at you because your five year old told the truth about something, it could be time to reevaluate that friendship

However you teach your child to handle the situation, be sure you’re not conveying the idea that we cover up the sin (the lie that Santa is real) of others. We tried to go at it from the angle of our kids telling the other kids, “That’s a topic that should stay between you and your parents.” It’s pretty much the same way we later handled the situation of what to do if your friends ask you where babies come from (“You need to ask your parents about that.”)

Also keep in mind that, even though it may feel like you’re the Grinch if your child spills the beans about Santa, you’re not, despite the fact that others may treat you that way. If you’re humbly doing what is right in God’s eyes and the other person is doing what is wrong, you’re not the problem in that situation.

Even though it may feel like you’re the Grinch if your child spills the beans about Santa, you’re not. If you’re humbly doing what is right in God’s eyes and the other person is doing what is wrong, you’re not the problem.


If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (Iโ€™ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Christmas

The Gospel According to Carols

Originally published December 17, 2019

During the Christmas seasons of 2019 and 2020, I ran a meme series on my social media pages called The Gospel According to Carols. Many of our favorite Christmas carols include the gospel, so this was a series of memes with gospel quotes from Christmas carols to help keep our focus on the gospel during the hustle and bustle of the season.

Many of our favorite Christmas carols include the gospel. The Gospel According to Carols is a series of memes with gospel quotes from Christmas carols to help keep our focus on the gospel during the hustle and bustle of the season.

The series was so popular I decided to add it to my collection of annual Christmas blog articles. All of the memes are posted below. The title of the carol precedes each meme(s) and is linked to a YouTube video of that carol in case you’d like to listen. In addition to sharing these around on social media (or using them as your cover photo) to remind ourselves, our friends, and our family of the true reason for Christ’s incarnation, I thought of a few other ways you might like to use these.

Decorative Place Cards

In my article (and podcast) 10 Ways to Share the Gospel During the Holidays, I mentioned printing out these Bible verse memes on thankfulness and placing one at each place setting on your Thanksgiving dinner table as a way of initiating gospel conversations. The Gospel According to Carols memes could be used in the same way at your Christmas party or dinner.

Christmas Cards and Gift Tags

Not crazy about the rapidly dwindling selection of Christmas cards at your local retailer? Choose one or more of these designs, print them out on card stock and use them for Christmas cards. Or, minimize them to gift tag size, add a “to” and a “from,” print them out on card stock, and use them for labeling all your Christmas gifts.

Party Game

Instead of “Name that Tune,” make it “Name that Carol” by reading the quote aloud and having your guests guess which Christmas carol it came from.

Hark! The Herald Angels Sing

Silent Night

Lo, How a Rose E’er Blooming

Child in the Manger

O Little Town of Bethlehem

The First Noel

Good Christian Men Rejoice

We Three Kings

Joy to the World

Thou Didst Leave Thy Throne

While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks

Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus

Glorious Impossible