Author: Michelle Lesley

Servant of Christ, wife, mother, churchwoman, women's discipleship blogger, podcaster, and speaker.
Mailbag

The Mailbag: Help! There’s a pushy lady at my church!

Michelle Lesley

Originally published October 30, 2017

There is a lady in my church who has become very involved in a certain form of parachurch Christian ministry. She is extremely gung ho about it and pressures church members to participate. She has also organized a conference, bringing in speakers from the national level of the ministry. The elders/pastors approved it, but there is some disagreement about bringing in outside speakers, charging attenders so much for tickets, and the fact that it is mainly drawing people from outside our church who are already involved in this ministry, not necessarily discipling our own church members, yet our church members bear the work of the conferences.

We, her friends, have watched her continue to insistently push this ministry agenda. She freely admits to being pushy and asks us to keep her accountable, but she continues to push and becomes frustrated when challenged. I have met with her one on one and discussed this, and she now avoids me. I guess my question is, is it right/OK for me to now keep my distance from her? Is it OK for a woman to push a ministry agenda in the church?

Every once in a while a situation arises at church that leaves you feeling like, “Church is great…except for the people.” I’ve felt that way many times over the years, and I’m certain many people have felt that way about me. Personality conflicts at church can be difficult to deal with, but they’re a great “homework assignment” from God that – if we approach them biblically – can help grow us and the other person in Christlikeness. Let’s take a look at some of the aspects of this reader’s situation.

Doctrinal clarity on the ministry:
I think the first question on the minds of many of those reading this article is going to be, “What kind of parachurch ministry is this?”. Because, if it’s a ministry that centers around false doctrine or is led by false teachers, that’s your answer right there.

I edited out references to the particular ministry the woman is involved in a) to protect my reader’s anonymity and b) because the reader assures me the issue isn’t the ministry itself, it’s the agenda pushing. I’m very familiar with this specific parachurch ministry. It’s doctrinally sound. The situation would be similar to someone getting very involved in pro-life ministry, for example.

Doctrinal clarity on the behavior:
From what the reader has described in her e-mails, the woman’s behavior, while annoying and possibly concerning, does not sound like it has reached the level of actual sin. The parachurch ministry is doctrinally sound, and she thinks it would be beneficial to her church. She has received approval from church leadership. It doesn’t sound like she’s being deceptive in any way or doing anything the Bible clearly prohibits; she’s just very excited about this ministry and wants others to be as excited and on board as she is. That’s not sin, it’s just off-putting to others who aren’t interested. We need to be clear on the biblical fact that just because somebody does something that aggravates us doesn’t necessarily mean it’s sin. And if it’s not sin, it shouldn’t be treated as though it were. (I’m not saying the reader is doing that, just a general concept all of us should be mindful of.)

Church leadership:
If this woman is bringing in conferences, speakers, and other events that utilize the church facility, she’s not doing it without the approval of the pastor and/or someone in leadership. What that means is, as much as other church members may not like it, the buck stops with the pastor/elders, and they have given their approval to the activities thus far. If they are having a problem with this woman being pushy with them, it is their responsibility as pastors and elders to sit down with her and put a stop to that. If the pastor/elders are aware of, and have a problem with ticket prices, church members doing all the work, and the other problems you mentioned, it is their job to address that. I understand your concerns, dear reader, and having dealt with people like this before, I certainly empathize, but if you insert yourself between this woman and the elders – regarding her pushiness with them or issues it’s their responsibility to address – you run the risk of becoming pushy yourself and stepping in where you don’t belong.

If you think the pastor and elders are unaware of pertinent information regarding this situation, talk to your husband about it, and pray together for wisdom as to if and how you, he, or both of you should approach them with the information, remembering that, as a godly wife, you need to respect and defer to your husband’s decision. If the pastor and elders receive the information and continue to approve the parachurch ministry conferences and activities, then your disagreement is with the pastor and elders, not the woman pushing the agenda.

Body parts:
You’ve asked if it’s OK for a woman to push a ministry agenda in the church. No, it’s not. It’s not OK for men to do so either. First Corinthians 12 compares church members to the various parts of the body. While “The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you,'” neither can the hand say to the eye, ear, nose, foot, mouth, etc., “You have to be a hand, just like me.”

It is absolutely fine to be excited about a ministry or a project at church and to invite and encourage people to participate in it, but crossing the line from inviting and encouraging to pressuring and badgering is not appropriate, biblical, or loving. It puts your brothers and sisters in the awkward position of either having to knuckle under and do something they don’t really want to do in order not to hurt your feelings, or having to say no and run the risk of hurting your feelings. It ends up making the decision to serve in a particular ministry all about you, the pushy person, rather than about whether or not God wants that person in that ministry at this time. And not only should we not be basing our decisions about whether or not to serve on pleasing man rather than on pleasing God, it is unloving and unkind to back a brother or sister into a corner, forcing them into a no-win situation. If you love your brothers and sisters in Christ, you’ll want them to serve because they’re convinced God wants them to serve, not because you want them to serve.

Woman to woman:
As far as your personal relationship with this woman goes, it sounds like you have tried to reach out to her and help her, which is commendable. We all have weaknesses, and it sounds like this lady’s weakness might be lack of self-awareness and social skills. Sometimes, no matter how gently and lovingly we approach someone about a personal issue, she will get defensive or avoidant. Maybe she just needs some time to settle down. People rarely stay at fever pitch about something forever.

Is it OK for you to keep your distance from her? Well, I don’t think you need to proactively pursue spending time with her, but I also don’t think you should avoid any of your normal church activities that would bring you into contact with her. And, of course, you should be kind and loving to her when you see her in passing. If she continues to press you about the ministry whenever she sees you, there’s nothing wrong with politely changing the subject or excusing yourself. And if she wants to know what’s going on, just kindly and lovingly be honest with her. For example: “Jane, I’m so glad you’ve found a ministry you’re excited about and enjoy, but it’s just not my cup of tea. Maybe we could talk about other things when we get together?”

Sanctification:
As I said in the beginning of this article, personality conflicts in the church aren’t easy to deal with, but if we submit to God and His Word in the situation, they can be very sanctifying.

When I have to deal with a Christian I find difficult it helps me to remember a few things. First, this is a sister in Christ, made in the image of God. God knit her together in her mother’s womb, breathed the breath of life into her, and bled and died on a cross for her sins just like He did for me. We are all sinners, and we all have various personality issues that sometimes rub others the wrong way. Second, for every person I run into who bugs me, there are probably a dozen who are bugged by me. I’m not any better than the person I’m dealing with just because I don’t bug people the same way she does. I also try to keep in mind that Jesus had to deal with a lot of difficult people during His earthly ministry. And, while I frequently fail, I do my best to follow His example of how to treat people.

The people we’re in membership with at our local church are our family. Every family has a crazy grandma or a know it all uncle or a cousin who constantly drops the ball. But we don’t just give up on family because they annoy us. Pray – daily and fervently – for those crazy, annoying, frustrating, challenging brothers and sisters at your church. Pray that God will help you love them the way they need to be loved. Consider setting aside some time to just sit and listen to them pour out their hearts. Many people act out simply because they feel invisible, lonely, and unheard. Be patient with them. Be kind. Do something unexpectedly generous and loving for them. Exercise forbearance. Find a way to help. Scripture after Scripture shows us it’s God’s will for us to love the unlovely, just like we want others to love us when we’re unlovely. This is one of the reasons why we’re in the church.

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Mailbag, Marriage

The Mailbag: Can I share the gospel with my unsaved husband?

Michelle Lesley

Originally published July 9, 2018

I was brought up to believe that women win their unsaved spouses by actions, not words, because of dissension in the the home and that sort of thing. Would love your thoughts.

One of the most difficult and stressful situations a Christian woman can walk through is being married to someone who is not saved. Sometimes this happens because husband and wife are both unsaved when they get married and the wife gets saved later. Sometimes it happens because the wife (and sometimes the husband, too) think the husband is saved and it later becomes obvious that he is a false convert. And sometimes what happens is that a spiritually immature Christian woman goes into marriage knowing her husband isn’t saved, and she either doesn’t care or she thinks she’ll change him right away.

Single ladies, please take heed and take this to heart: know your man well, spiritually, before you get married. While it’s impossible to know with 100% certainty whether or not another person is saved, do your best. Make sure this is a man who can be the spiritual leader of your home – a man who will make wise and godly decisions, who intends to parent biblically, who is able and eager to lead your family in Bible study and prayer, and who is committed to faithfully attending and serving the local church. Many women who went into marriage thinking these things would somehow take care of themselves can tell you from sad experience that the issues you and your husband have before marriage will only get worse after marriage.

That’s the best way to answer the reader’s question: prophylaxis. Prevent the problem before it happens.

That said, God is the One who decides when you get saved, and if you and your husband weren’t saved when you got married, but you are now, praise God for that! What a wonderful thing that He saved you and that He has placed a 24/7 witness to the gospel in your husband’s life!

If you ever feel alone in having an unsaved husband, take comfort and think about all the ladies in the first century when Christianity was brand new. Many, if not most, Christian women were in your situation. They worried and agonized over their husbands’ salvation just like you do. In fact, it was such a common situation in the early church that Paul and Peter each dedicated part of their writings to instructing and encouraging wives about walking out their faith in a marriage to an unsaved husband:

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. 1 Peter 3:1-6

 

If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy…For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? 1 Corinthians 7:13-14,16

I believe the reader’s question focuses in on 1 Peter 3:1:

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

If we isolate this verse from its immediate context of surrounding verses, the context of the book of 1 Peter, and the context of the New Testament, it seems to say that a wife can win her husband to Christ simply by her Christlike behavior with no need to ever open her mouth and share the gospel with him. However, if we take a step back and even just think about it logically for a minute, we know that can’t be what this verse is saying.

Think about how you came to saving faith. Did you get saved exclusively by watching someone act humbly, patiently, lovingly, etc.? Or did someone explain to you that you were a sinner in need of repentance, that Christ paid the penalty for your sin on the cross, that He rose again on the third day, and that if you placed your faith in Him, He would cleanse and forgive you and give you eternal life? Those are things you can’t get just by watching someone behave kindly and lovingly. They have to be explained by a friend, a sermon, a tract, the Bible, or some other use of words. (This is what’s problematic with the old cliché “Preach the gospel at all times. Use words if necessary.” Words are always necessary for explaining the gospel.)

Next, let’s think about the context of the New Testament at large as well as 1 Peter. Can you think of any instances in which Christians are told to share the gospel with anybody simply by modeling good behavior? No. The iconic evangelism passage, the Great Commission, tells us to “make disciples…teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.” You have to talk to people, and maybe even use books or other written materials – with words – in order to teach and disciple. The theme of 1 Peter itself is largely, “Walk in holiness, a) because it’s the godly thing to do, and b) because it could open a door for you to share the gospel with others.” Peter never suggests that godly behavior is the stopping point of evangelism, only the starting point.

Another great example is the account of Philip and the Ethiopian eunuch. The Ethiopian eunuch was actually reading a gospel passage from the Bible, when Philip arrived on the scene. “Do you understand what you’re reading?” Philip asked. “How can I unless someone explains it to me?” he answered. At that point, Philip did not put on a little skit of good works for the Ethiopian to watch, he climbed into the chariot beside him and explained the gospel from Scripture.

The 1 Corinthians 7 passage adds clarity as well, indicating that God has essentially placed a saved wife and mother in her family to be a missionary to her husband and children.

Now let’s think about this verse in the context of 1 Peter 3:1-6. If you look at those six verses as a set, what is the main idea of the passage? It’s not witnessing, it’s being winsome. Through Peter’s pen, the Holy Spirit is helping women to see that godly behavior sets a gorgeous table from which the main dish of the gospel can be appetizingly served. Don’t be confused – it’s not about dressing like a supermodel dripping with jewels; that’s not what’s going to have the most profound impact on a husband’s heart – it’s about being beautiful from the inside out. Your character, your demeanor, your submission and self-sacrifice, “a gentle and quiet spirit.” That’s the focus of this passage – laying the foundation – so that when an opening presents itself to share Christ with your husband, the gospel is adorned with your grace and godliness instead of your behavior and attitude being an impediment to his receiving the good news.

The primary characteristic of having a “gentle and quiet spirit” is trusting God. And that plays into this passage too, because the scariest and weightiest thing you’re going to have to trust God with is your husband’s salvation. God has to save your husband in His good time just like He saved you in His good time. You cannot convince, lecture, or nag him into the kingdom of God, even though it will be tempting to try because you want it so badly.

That’s another application of this passage that can be very comforting and helpful. Maybe when you first got saved, you were so eager for your husband to know Christ that you harped at him constantly about it. You overwhelmed him with the gospel to the point that he said, “Please stop talking to me about that.” This passage in 1 Peter reassures you that it’s OK to back off. You’ve shared the gospel with your husband. He’s heard it. Until or unless a moment comes when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Holy Spirit is intensely working on your husband’s heart, he’s “ripe for the picking,” and he needs you to pray with him or explain the gospel again, your job is over. It’s the Holy Spirit’s turn. Stand aside and don’t get in the way of the work He’s doing through the gospel seed you’ve planted, your prayers for your husband, and your godly behavior.

God can save your husband even if you’ve messed up and said the wrong thing. God can save your husband even if you don’t say that “one more thing” you think will push him over the edge of salvation. Yes, share the gospel with your husband, but realize that God does not place the burden of saving your husband on your shoulders. Only Christ is strong enough to bear that burden. Rest in that, trust Him, and walk obediently. You are not responsible for saving your husband. God is.

“But what about the Bible’s prohibition against women teaching men?” some readers might be wondering. “Wouldn’t that preclude women from sharing the gospel with their unsaved husbands? And is it OK for Christian women to share something biblical or theological they’ve learned with their Christian husbands?”

This question refers to the prohibition in 1 Timothy 2:11-3:7 against women pastoring, preaching, instructing men in the Scriptures, and holding authority over men in the gathered body of the church. A private discussion at home between you and your husband is not the gathering of the church, so this passage does not apply. I’ve answered this question in more detail in this article (second question) and this article (second question).

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Politics, Prayer

7 Ways to Pray During the Trump Administration

Michelle Lesley

Originally published January 20, 2017

Whether you love it or hate it…

Whether you voted for him or not…

The reality is that Donald Trump is now the 47th President of the United States. The election has come and gone. Our part is over.

Or is it?

Though we thank God for delivering us from what would surely have been a much more evil regime had Trump not won, there are still some concerns about the things Donald Trump might do or say (or post on X) as President, and about the trajectory of the nation over the next four years. Of equal or more concern are potential counter-actions from his opponents. But does God want Christians to let those worries get the best of us for the duration of the Trump administration?

Nope.

God has told us exactly what He wants us to do with regard to the rulers He has installed in authority over us.

Step 1:

God wants us to remember that He is the one who places leaders in their positions, and we are to trust His decisions and respect and obey our leaders (unless they step outside the bounds of their authority or command us to do or not do something that conflicts with God’s word – we always submit to God and His word first).

What if the leader is immoral or ungodly? Well consider that when the Holy Spirit inspired Paul to pen these words, Paul was living under the rule of Nero, and I think you’ll have your answer. In so far as we are biblically able, Christians are to obey those in authority over us.

Step 2:

God wants us to pray for all people, but He draws our focus to praying for “kings and all who are in high positions.” Why?

  • “That we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.”
    Consider the persecution the first century (and every subsequent century to the present day) church faced: Christians fed to lions, immolated, beheaded, quartered, family members tortured, and more. We’re to ask God for the government to allow us to quietly live in peace and pursue godliness.
  • “This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior,” 1 Timothy 2:3 goes on to say. It is good for us to pray for our leaders simply because it is pleasing to God. When you get right down to it, do we really need any other reason to obey God?
  • Because God “desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth,” says 1 Timothy 2:4. Even though God doesn’t have to give us a reason to obey Him about praying for our leaders, He chooses to reveal something to us about His nature and character by explaining why He wants us to do so. God’s heart is for all people to know Christ as Savior – including our rulers. God wants to save them because He loves them as individuals made in His image, but He also wants to save them so they will be godly rulers and – bringing us full circle to 1 Timothy 2:2 – so that God’s people will be able to lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.

So now that we know that God wants us to pray for our President and others “who are in high positions,” and why God wants us to pray for them, what are some of the things we can pray for during the Trump administration?

1.
Pray for God to save our unsaved leaders

Lip service to God does not a regenerated believer make. Many people claim to be Christians yet have never repented of their sin and placed their faith in Christ. The Bible is clear that those who consistently live in unrepentant sin are not saved. Don’t listen so much to what our leaders say about God, rather watch what they do. If he walks like a heathen and quacks like a heathen, pray for God to save him.

2.
Pray for the daily walk of our saved leaders

Can you imagine how hard it must be to live a godly life as one of the few Christians in the political arena? For our leaders who not only talk the talk but are striving to walk the walk, pray that God will give them ample time in His Word, in prayer, and in church. Pray that He will enable them to resist temptation to sin. Pray that they will walk uprightly in their day to day lives. Pray that they will seek to honor God in their work and decisions. Pray that God will give them boldness and open doors to share the gospel with others.

3.
Pray that God will move all of our leaders to make right decisions

Even if they make those right decisions for the wrong reasons. Even if they meant their decisions for evil. Proverbs 21:1 says, “The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; he turns it wherever he will.” Pray that God will turn our leaders’ hearts to make right decisions.

4.
Pray against governmental intrusion and persecution in the lives of Christians

Unfortunately, over the past several years we’ve seen the beginnings of persecution against Christians in the U.S. Christians have been fired and lost their businesses for refusing to provide services for homosexual weddings. Christians are having to comply with government mandates regarding transgender issues and abortion. The government has interfered with private parenting decisions made by Christians. Pray that God would move our leaders to back off and allow Christians to “lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.”

5.
Pray for the church

It’s likely that we are gradually moving toward the end of freedom of religion in the United States. Pray that God would continue to bless the church with that constitutional right. And while we still have it, pray that pastors would boldly preach Christ and Him crucified. Pray that Christians would faithfully love, serve, and attend their churches every week. Pray that the church would properly disciple Christians to live as lights for Christ in the world. Pray that we would send out unprecedented numbers of missionaries. Pray that we will work the works of Him who sent us while it is day; for night is coming, when no one can work.

6.
Pray that Christians will share the gospel

This country will not be changed by leaders and legislation. It will only be changed by the Lord. The United States will only become a godly nation if the majority of the people of this nation have had their hearts changed by the gospel. Pray (again, while we are still free to do so) that God will light a fire under those of us who know Him to unabashedly share the gospel everywhere we go, with everyone we meet.

7.
Pray that God would protect this nation

From our enemies and from ourselves.

Take some time to pray for our leaders and our country
today and every day.
If you’d like, add your prayer below in the comments.

Speaking Engagements

Report Back: Jesus Camp Nantucket Retreat 2024

Michelle Lesley

If your church or organization is ever in need of a speaker for a women’s event, I’d love to come share with your ladies as well. Click here for more information, or to find an upcoming event near you!
Now is the time to book an event for 2025!

In late October 2024, I once again had the privilege of teaching another great group of ladies at the Jesus Camp, Nantucket Women’s Retreat on Nantucket Island, Massachusetts. Conferences are super for reaching out to women in your community and surrounding areas, but retreats provide an intimate atmosphere that’s conducive to both formal instruction and informal, one on one discipleship. And we had plenty of time and space for both! Many thanks to Darcy Creech Marelli for opening up her lovely homes and hosting this biannual time of refreshing for women from all over the country.

In 2022, when I spoke at JCNWR, it was just a couple of months prior to my 30th wedding anniversary, so my husband, Scott, and I decided to drive to the retreat and treat ourselves to a “working second honeymoon,” visiting some fun “touristy” places on the way back home. We had such a great time, we decided to do it again last year and this year, too.

  • How it started…
  • How it ended.

It’s two full days of driving from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, to Hyannis, Massachusetts, and, praise God, we had a fairly uneventful trip. We stopped at the visitors’ center in Trenton, Georgia, which we thought was going to be one of those big, fancy rest stops that you find near the state line on the interstate, but the Dade County Visitors’ Center was more like a small tourist information center in a charming storefront in the middle of town. Shoutout to Ms. Patricia who practically adopted us and saved us a bundle of time with an alternate route around Chattanooga traffic.

It is my personal belief that every visitors’ center should have adorable stickers like these to give out. :0)

The next day we stopped for gas at a way-off-the-beaten-path town in New York, in a somewhat sketchy looking neighborhood, and a gentleman saw the military stickers on our van, thanked my husband for his service, and let us go ahead of him in line at the gas pump.

Nothing extraordinary, but meeting nice people like these around the country is such a blessing and makes the trip more fun.

The following day, Wednesday, we caught up on some much needed rest, and after a leisurely lunch together, I boarded the ferry for Nantucket Island.

  • A lovely spot on the island as we drove in from the ferry.
  • Darcy always decorates so beautifully…
  • Conference swag!
  • Dinner together.
  • Darcy left me a “sweet” hostess gift. A journal and honey from her hive!

The ladies began to arrive that evening. We shared a delicious dinner, and then had the opportunity to hear everyone’s “two minute testimony”. Our backgrounds varied from those of us who were born and raised in church and came to know Christ at an early age to those who had survived abuse, or walked on the wild side, or were involved in heretical church backgrounds before coming to Christ later in life. There is no such thing as a “boring” testimony. Every new birth in Jesus is a miracle of His mercy and grace.

This year, I taught a four lesson series on the topic of biblical womanhood. The sessions were not recorded, but I’ve taught the same sessions before at other conferences:

God’s Design for Biblical Womanhood

God’s Design for Biblical Manhood

Walking in Biblical Womanhood

Holy Mothers (and others) of God’s Word (There are substantial differences, but Session 4 was about 60-70% drawn from this teaching session on holiness)

Thursday’s teaching started with God’s Design for Biblical Womanhood. We explored the value God places on womanhood and the unique place women hold in God’s plan for Creation, the home, and the church.

We finished things off for the day with God’s Design for Biblical Manhood. Manhood isn’t toxic. It’s a captivating part of God’s good design in Creation for men to lead their families, their churches, and to lead the way in exercising dominion over the earth. Each session was followed by a time of Q&A and discussion groups.

Friday, we kicked things off with Walking in Biblical Womanhood. The Fall led us to crave reversing roles with men and with God. But when we stand firm against the schemes of the devil, our homes and churches can truly flourish.

Our last session was Biblical Womanhood: Our Sisters in Scripture. God has given us excellent examples of pursuing holiness as godly women in the stories of many of our sisters in Scripture.

Both teaching sessions were again followed by Q&A and discussion groups. All of the ladies were very gracious and receptive, and we had many edifying moments of discipleship.

Of course, there’s always time for food, fellowship, and fun!

Friday afternoon, Darcy’s apiarist (beekeeper), Anton, came out, showed us High Point’s hives, and gave a fascinating talk about the lives of bees. I love to listen to people who are both passionate and knowledgeable about their field and I think you would be hard put to find anyone more passionate or knowledgeable about bees than Anton was.

Sunset made for some gorgeous pictures!

Sweet fellowship…

Fire pit and s’mores!

All too soon, it was time to say goodbye, and I boarded an early morning ferry back to the mainland.

It was a wonderful time of fellowship in the Lord, and I hope to return soon! Many thanks to Darcy and her assistant, Otilia, who worked so hard to host a great retreat, took care of all my needs, and made me feel so welcome.

If your church or organization is ever in need of a speaker for a women’s event, I’d love to come share with your ladies as well. Click here for more information.

I arrived on the mainland mid-morning, and we promptly hit the road for Maryland to spend a little time with some of my husband’s family, whom we hadn’t seen in quite a while. It was a nice visit.

Next on the itinerary was the Pigeon Forge / Gatlinburg / Sevierville area of Tennessee. To get there, we had to go through Virginia. All day. Diagonally, I think, from the northeastern tip to the southwestern tip. That’s a lot of Virginia.

(Actually, I love Virginia. My parents used to live there and I’ve done more conferences in Virginia than any other state, including my own. I don’t think there’s a part of that state that isn’t beautiful.)

We finally pulled into Sevierville that evening and stopped at the Sevierville Buc-ee’s, which, until recently, was the largest Buc-ee’s in the world.

It was close to election day, and we couldn’t resist! We don’t care how hick anybody thinks we are! :0)

Exhausted, we checked into our hotel in Pigeon Forge. While there, we met a celebrity. I thought you might like to see the star of the new reality TV show, “Real Pigeons of Pigeon Forge”.😂

We spent our honeymoon in the Gatlinburg area have always wanted to go back. I figured it had probably changed a lot in 32 years, and we were only going to be there for a few days, so I asked my followers for all of the “must see” sights. They did not disappoint.

The overwhelming majority of respondents said we simply had to go to Cades Cove, and they were so right! Cades Cove is the remnant of a 19th century community in the Smoky Mountains with homes, a grist mill, and three preserved churches (you know I was all over that!). We would highly recommend you go, but that you go on a day when a mama bear is not blocking the road for three hours in order to protect her cub. For that same reason, we’d recommend you not go when it’s hot, cold, raining, or when you have to go to the bathroom. Late October was perfect and the fall foliage was gorgeous.

Our first stop along the trail was the Primitive Baptist Church. The ranger (who we suspected might have been a deacon at his own church!) gave a captivating talk on the building itself, as well as the practices of the church and the community.

The church was the center of life and the “invisible government” of the community. The ranger talked about the practice of church discipline, using as an example, a lazy man who wouldn’t work to provide for his family. The elders would confront him, then, if he didn’t repent, disinvite him from church, and if he still didn’t repent, they would excommunicate him, which included shunning and refusing to trade with him.

The ranger also talked about how the church would provide for widows, and for people experiencing catastrophic illness or events.

When someone died, the church bell would be rung the same number of times as the age of the deceased. Everyone would drop what he or she was doing and immediately come together at the church. The men would dig the grave in the church’s graveyard, and the women would tend to the bereaved.

When an issue or proposal arose in the community, the elders would consider what Scripture had to say and reject it if it didn’t measure up to Scripture.

In other words, the church was being the church.

  • Always nice to see my husband behind the pulpit again. :0)
  • The pulpit
  • Inside the pulpit
  • If you look closely, you can see the handprints and tool marks of the men who built the church nearly 200 years ago.
  • At least one Revolutionary War vet is buried in the cemetery.

The Methodist church…

  • Churches of this era often had separate doors for men and women, who sat separately once inside.
  • A Civil War grave. We learned that most residents of Cades Cove sided with the Union.

If you’re a musician and you’ve ever been in an old church like this, I don’t have to tell you, the acoustics are phenomenal. We had to give them a try.

Please extend me a little grace. We hadn’t sung this in a while and I was having trouble finding my note. :0)

Next up was the Missionary Baptist Church. They split off the Primitive Baptist Church because they wanted to send out missionaries and the Primitive Baptist Church didn’t.

Acoustics, I said.

After the aforementioned three hour delay, courtesy of Boo Boo and his mama, we moved on to “Aunt Becky” Cable’s home, mill, and outbuildings.

  • Matthew 18:6

On our way back through the mountains to Pigeon Forge, we stopped at a few charming craft shops (Providentially, one of them donated part of their profits to Reformed missionaries!), and ended up at another reader recommended spot, The Old Mill Restaurant and shopping district, where we learned a lot about the history of Pigeon Forge, visited some quaint shops, and had a huge and fabulous supper (for a surprisingly low price!).

After a good night’s rest, the Titanic Museum was next on our agenda. The building is designed to resemble the ship itself, and is quite fantastical looking. When you “board,” you’re issued a “boarding pass” with the name and information of a real passenger who was aboard the Titanic. Some of these passengers are mentioned in various exhibits. At the end of the tour, you find out whether or not your passenger survived. (Mine did, Scott’s didn’t.)

I found it interesting that several pastors and missionaries were aboard ship. All gave up their seats on the lifeboats to others, and I appreciated the little area that was a tribute especially to them.

In the iceberg room, which the bridge overlooked, it was very cold, and you could put your hand in 28 degree water to experience the cold of that night.

Genuine artifacts from recovery missions to the site of the sinking were plentiful. We found it fascinating.

  • I just found it morbidly amusing that they had these in the gift shop.

Our next project was to attempt to locate the lovely chalet we stayed in for our honeymoon. I still had the directions in my scrapbook, and we gathered our courage and drove up the harrowingly narrow mountain road. But, alas, it was not to be. We could not locate the chalet or even the road it had been on. We suspect it burned down during the catastrophic Great Smoky Mountain wildfires of 2016.

Our last stop for the day was another reader recommendation, The Apple Barn, a charming little shopping and restaurant district centered around a cider mill. We had a wonderful time shopping at the general store and other shops, snacking on fried apple pies and apple doughnuts, and eating another fantastic supper at the Applewood Farmhouse Grill.

When we got to the bakery, I spied a loaf of blackberry bread that looked awfully familiar, and whipped out my phone to find it was the same bread I’d been given by a dear attendee at a conference in Tennessee over a year earlier.

L- 2023 Tennessee conference gift, R- 2024 trip to The Apple Barn. If you can’t read the caption, it says, “…I’m not exaggerating when I say this is the best fruit bread I’ve ever eaten in my life. Ever.”

It was an amazing find – one of the highlights of the trip, for me – I was giddy, and my husband got really tired of hearing about it.

The next day was spent shopping and walking around in downtown Gatlinburg like we did on our honeymoon.

And finally, happily, we headed back home, thanking God for another wonderful time together.

Photo Credits

Thank you to all the retreat attendees who generously shared many of the photos you see above in the retreat section.

All other photos by Michelle and Scott Lesley

Faith

It’s OK to Be Ordinary

Michelle Lesley

Originally published January 16, 2013

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
Titus 2:3-5

Love our husbands and children.

Be self-controlled, pure, and kind.

Work at home.

Be submissive to our own husbands.

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In other words: ordinary. 

I didn’t see anything in there about changing the world or living out great big enormous dreams, did you? I think, often, as 21st century Christian women, the evangelical culture can make us feel like we are failures if we don’t have some sort of huge ministry or preach the gospel on the street corner every day. In Titus’ day that sort of thing would have been unbecoming for women. In our culture, women have more opportunities to be involved in various ministries than back then, but we have to remember that God calls us to faithfully serve Him in whatever life circumstances He has put us in. And He has not called the vast majority of us to be ministry superstars or Christian celebrities.

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He has called most of us to be ordinary.

Staying home and pouring the gospel into our families or being a gospel influence to others at work or teaching Sunday school or sharing the gospel through volunteer work, and so on, though it may not amount to much in the world’s eyes, is success and faithfulness in God’s eyes. And that’s all that matters.

You’re not failing God if you’re ordinary.