Michelle Lesley

Originally published April 22, 2014

Usually, when I think of the word “homemaking,” I think of Better Homes and Gardens. You know, having a spotless showplace with the most beautiful designer furniture, a lovely table set with fresh flowers, fine china, and cloth napkins, cuisine containing ingredients you have to special order at a froo froo food market. Oh, and candles. Lots of candles.

Listen, if you’re gifted in making spaces beautiful in that way, my hat is off to you. Way off. You are my heroine. And by the way, can I come over for dinner?

I’m not gifted in that area. My husband and I have five sons and one daughter, four of whom still live at home, two of whom I home school. My goal is to keep noticeable filth to a minimum while still maintaining some semblance of a life. Unexpected visitors who come to my door often hear the Lesley family motto, “Please excuse the mess, but we live here.”

That’s my homemaking.

I’m busy, I’m tired, and the boys keep using the candles as light sabers.

But, it’s a home. Our home.

And, since it’s ours, we all share in making it a home. Every member of our family has a stake in making our home a haven where each of us can relax, take a break from the outside world, and enjoy each other. From the youngest child all the way up to Dad, we each own part of the responsibility for making our house a home.

And the way we’re to do that is by serving each other.

Once upon a time, Jesus set the ultimate homemaking example. During supper one night—the last supper He would share with the disciples—Jesus summarized everything He had been teaching them for the last three years in one final lesson. Did he preach a sermon? Teach a Bible study? Lecture them?

No. He picked up a towel and did a common household chore. He washed their feet.

It was one of the lowliest chores, normally done by one of the lowliest servants. Certainly not one any of the disciples would deign to perform, and definitely beneath the dignity of their sovereign King.

But He did it anyway. He served His brothers.

Because it was something that needed to be done.

Yes, because their feet were dirty, but mainly because it taught them humility, servanthood, and love. I’m laying my life down for you, My friends. Now you lay down your lives for one another.

When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them,“Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.
John 13:12-15

I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. As Jesus put His dignity, His rights, and His own self interests aside, so, we lay these things aside in service to one another. And it starts with our families.

In our family, it’s the simple things: my husband putting gas in the car so I don’t have to, my putting his clean clothes away, my son getting a drink for his sister, my daughter picking up trash that she didn’t put down.

We follow Jesus’ example of washing another’s feet when we die to self, pick up a towel and serve our family members. Yes, because things need to be done, but mainly because it teaches all of us humility, servanthood, and love.

Candles or no candles, that’s how you make a home.

THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED AT SATISFACTION THROUGH CHRIST.

Ezra Bible Study

Ezra: Lesson 11

August 31, 2016April 3, 2019 Michelle Lesley

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Previous Lessons: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Ezra 10

While Ezra prayed and made confession, weeping and casting himself down before the house of God, a very great assembly of men, women, and children, gathered to him out of Israel, for the people wept bitterly. ²And Shecaniah the son of Jehiel, of the sons of Elam, addressed Ezra: “We have broken faith with our God and have married foreign women from the peoples of the land, but even now there is hope for Israel in spite of this. ³Therefore let us make a covenant with our God to put away all these wives and their children, according to the counsel of my lord and of those who tremble at the commandment of our God, and let it be done according to the Law. ⁴Arise, for it is your task, and we are with you; be strong and do it.” ⁵Then Ezra arose and made the leading priests and Levites and all Israel take an oath that they would do as had been said. So they took the oath.

⁶Then Ezra withdrew from before the house of God and went to the chamber of Jehohanan the son of Eliashib, where he spent the night, neither eating bread nor drinking water, for he was mourning over the faithlessness of the exiles. ⁷And a proclamation was made throughout Judah and Jerusalem to all the returned exiles that they should assemble at Jerusalem, ⁸and that if anyone did not come within three days, by order of the officials and the elders all his property should be forfeited, and he himself banned from the congregation of the exiles.

⁹Then all the men of Judah and Benjamin assembled at Jerusalem within the three days. It was the ninth month, on the twentieth day of the month. And all the people sat in the open square before the house of God, trembling because of this matter and because of the heavy rain. ¹⁰And Ezra the priest stood up and said to them, “You have broken faith and married foreign women, and so increased the guilt of Israel. ¹¹Now then make confession to the Lord, the God of your fathers and do his will.Separate yourselves from the peoples of the land and from the foreign wives.” ¹²Then all the assembly answered with a loud voice, “It is so; we must do as you have said. ¹³But the people are many, and it is a time of heavy rain; we cannot stand in the open. Nor is this a task for one day or for two, for we have greatly transgressed in this matter. ¹⁴Let our officials stand for the whole assembly. Let all in our cities who have taken foreign wives come at appointed times, and with them the elders and judges of every city, until the fierce wrath of our God over this matter is turned away from us.” ¹⁵Only Jonathan the son of Asahel and Jahzeiah the son of Tikvah opposed this, and Meshullam and Shabbethai the Levite supported them.

¹⁶Then the returned exiles did so. Ezra the priest selected men, heads of fathers’ houses, according to their fathers’ houses, each of them designated by name. On the first day of the tenth month they sat down to examine the matter; ¹⁷and by the first day of the first month they had come to the end of all the men who had married foreign women.

¹⁸Now there were found some of the sons of the priests who had married foreign women: Maaseiah, Eliezer, Jarib, and Gedaliah, some of the sons of Jeshua the son of Jozadak and his brothers. ¹⁹They pledged themselves to put away their wives, and their guilt offering was a ram of the flock for their guilt. ²⁰Of the sons of Immer: Hanani and Zebadiah. ²¹Of the sons of Harim: Maaseiah, Elijah, Shemaiah, Jehiel, and Uzziah. ²²Of the sons of Pashhur: Elioenai, Maaseiah, Ishmael, Nethanel, Jozabad, and Elasah.

²³Of the Levites: Jozabad, Shimei, Kelaiah (that is, Kelita), Pethahiah, Judah, and Eliezer. ²⁴Of the singers: Eliashib. Of the gatekeepers: Shallum, Telem, and Uri.

²⁵And of Israel: of the sons of Parosh: Ramiah, Izziah, Malchijah, Mijamin, Eleazar, Hashabiah, and Benaiah. ²⁶Of the sons of Elam: Mattaniah, Zechariah, Jehiel, Abdi, Jeremoth, and Elijah. ²⁷Of the sons of Zattu: Elioenai, Eliashib, Mattaniah, Jeremoth, Zabad, and Aziza. ²⁸Of the sons of Bebai were Jehohanan, Hananiah, Zabbai, and Athlai. ²⁹Of the sons of Bani were Meshullam, Malluch, Adaiah, Jashub, Sheal, and Jeremoth. ³⁰Of the sons of Pahath-moab: Adna, Chelal, Benaiah, Maaseiah, Mattaniah, Bezalel, Binnui, and Manasseh. ³¹Of the sons of Harim: Eliezer, Isshijah, Malchijah, Shemaiah, Shimeon, ³²Benjamin, Malluch, and Shemariah. ³³Of the sons of Hashum: Mattenai, Mattattah, Zabad, Eliphelet, Jeremai, Manasseh, and Shimei. ³⁴Of the sons of Bani: Maadai, Amram, Uel, ³⁵Benaiah, Bedeiah, Cheluhi, ³⁶Vaniah, Meremoth, Eliashib, ³⁷Mattaniah, Mattenai, Jaasu. ³⁸Of the sons of Binnui: Shimei, ³⁹Shelemiah, Nathan, Adaiah, ⁴⁰Machnadebai, Shashai, Sharai, ⁴¹Azarel, Shelemiah, Shemariah, ⁴²Shallum, Amariah, and Joseph. ⁴³Of the sons of Nebo: Jeiel, Mattithiah, Zabad, Zebina, Jaddai, Joel, and Benaiah. ⁴⁴All these had married foreign women, and some of the women had even borne children.

Questions to Consider:

1. In chapter 9, Ezra prayed a beautiful prayer of repentance for Israel’s corporate sin, which you may wish to briefly review, as it led to the events in chapter 10. What specific sin do chapters 9 and 10 deal with? Why had God commanded His people not to commit this sin?

2. What does verse 1 say Ezra was doing? The people of Israel? Explain the impact and example Ezra’s genuine (6-7) repentance and contrition had on the people. Why is it important for our pastors, elders, and teachers to model contrition, repentance, and other godly traits and habits for us today? Do you set a godly example for others to imitate?

3. Why did Shecaniah say “even now there is hope for Israel in spite of [our sin]”? (2) What was Israel’s hope? Compare Israel’s hope for God’s mercy and forgiveness of sin in response to true repentance with 1 John 1:9. Why does God’s forgiveness bring hope? How does God’s response to repentance in both the Old and New Testament demonstrate His immutability?

4. What did the proclamation say would happen to anyone who failed to appear for the assembly? (7-8) How did the people respond? (9) How do the concepts of “covenant” (3), “oath” (5), and the details of, and Israel’s response to the proclamation indicate the gravity with which they regarded their sin? Why are gravity and grief proper responses to our sin?

5. In this chapter, God’s people divorced their unbelieving, pagan spouses. Is this chapter a command for Christians today to divorce their unbelieving spouses? How can we be sure it is not? How do these two passages on divorce (Ezra 10 and 1 Corinthians 7:12-16) demonstrate the importance of understanding the difference between descriptive and prescriptive passages? (For more on divorce in Ezra 10, click here and scroll about 2/3 of the way down to the paragraph that begins “And one issue comes to the floor…”) How does this chapter show us what it means to take the actions necessary to turn from our sin and walk in repentance?

6 Do verses 12-14 indicate that Israel was trying to put off repenting or that they wanted to go about repenting in a thorough and orderly way? How many months did the repentance and divorce process take? (16b-17a) Which classes of people went first in the repentance and divorce process? (18, 23) Followed by which class? (25) How does this order again stress that the leaders of God’s people must set a godly example?

Wednesday's Word

What’s Next on Wednesday’s Word?

August 30, 2016August 29, 2016 Michelle Lesley

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Ladies-

Tomorrow we’ll be finishing up our study of the book of Ezra on Wednesday’s Word, so starting next week, September 7, it’s on to something new! What would you like to study?

A few suggestions:

1. We could continue on to Nehemiah and finish the current storyline.

2. We could do another Old Testament or New Testament book.

3. We could do a topical study on something like prayer, the Fruit of the Spirit, a particular Bible character, etc.

So, let’s hear it. What would you like to study next on Wednesday’s Word? Comment below with your thoughts.

Mailbag

The Mailbag: How can I be discerning about books?

August 29, 2016June 8, 2019 Michelle Lesley

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How do you evaluate a book (for instance if you know nothing about the author)? I have about half a bookshelf right now of books (both fiction and nonfiction) that I need to evaluate and I have no idea how to commence doing so. (The books range from children’s fiction to Bible study books and lots in between.)

A couple of the steps in this article would apply for any book: know your Bible and pray for wisdom as you research the book and author.

For Bible study, theology, or other non-fiction Christian books, I would vet the author pretty much the same way I described vetting teachers in the article. That will often be faster than reading the whole book. Also, go to Amazon and peruse all the other books the author has written. You might get a better idea of where the author stands, theologically, by reading all of his book titles and summaries. Many authors have an author page on Amazon, too. It’ll have a bio and customer reviews.

I don’t hold Christian fiction books to quite the same theological standard as non-fiction for discerning Christians who know their Bible really well (for example, see the section on Karen Kingsbury here). Some of them are really just clean “family friendly” fiction with the occasional cow pie of bad theology that you can “step over” as you’re reading, but some, such as The Shack are pretty egregious in their false doctrine. For Christian fiction, one quick “litmus test” that might be a possibility is to check out who’s endorsing it. If you flip to the back cover and see endorsements by a bunch of false teachers, it’s probably one to stay away from.

Asking around can help as well, especially with Christian books. Ask trusted friends if they’re familiar with the author or book and what they think of it. Join some theologically sound Facebook groups and ask about the book in the group.

For all books, another possible shortcut might be book reviews. Scads of bloggers review books. The key is finding bloggers and review sites whose opinions or theology you trust, and that may take a little time and effort. Tim Challies and Aaron Armstrong do a lot of trustworthy book reviews- mostly Christian non-fiction, but other genres on occasion. There are a lot of Christians on GoodReads that review all kinds of different genres. Finally, you might want to try a book summary web site like Books at a Glance. They’ll give you the “Cliff’s Notes” version of books.

If you go through all those “screening process” steps and still have books/authors you haven’t been able to vet, the only solution is to actually read the book and compare the concepts and statements in it to Scripture. Then you can write a review of it and post it on line for the next person who comes along wanting information about that book.

Let’s hear from you readers out there! Got a favorite book blog? A go to reviewer on GoodReads? Comment below!

If you have a question about: a well known Christian author/leader, a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Encouragement, Suffering, Tragedy

Weeping with Those Who Weep

August 26, 2016August 23, 2023 Michelle Lesley

It was the week after the historic Louisiana flood of 2016. I was driving down the road, if sitting through three red light cycles per intersection due to horrendous traffic could rightfully be called “driving,” that is. Hot and sweaty, filthy, emotionally drained, and exhausted from cleaning and hauling, I was making my way from my friend’s flooded house to help out at my ninety-five year old grandmother’s flooded house, guilt-stricken that I couldn’t be in both places at once.

And that’s when I heard it.

I was listening to one of my favorite theological podcasts, and when the host began talking about the flooding in Baton Rouge, my ears perked up. He began talking about God’s sovereignty- that, because God always does what is best for believers – for our discipline, growth in holiness, increased dependence on Christ, and the like – that this flood was good for us. He said it kindly, lovingly, and backed up with Scripture. And he was absolutely right.

Yet, three days after a life-altering catastrophe, with a heart still raw and broken for my loved ones and my community, it was exactly what I did not need to hear.

It’s crucial to bring good theology to bear on every situation we face in life. We need to apply Scripture to the situations we go through in order to help us make biblical sense of things, walk obediently, give thanks, and glorify God.

And yet, the Bible doesn’t say, “Give a theology lecture to those who weep.” It says, “Weep with those who weep.” Why? God is all about the Word, isn’t He? Why wouldn’t He want us to jump right in and exhort hurting people with scriptural principles?

Because He knows us. He created us.

People need a minute to take a breath and absorb everything that has happened to them before their hearts and minds are ready to transition into thinking theologically about the situation.

Sometimes we just need to sit and cry for a while. And maybe we need someone we love to sit and cry with us. No Romans 8:28. No talk about how God is going to use this to grow us. No discussion of whether God “caused” or “allowed” this tragedy. Just some time to grieve without having to think. And God’s word says that’s OK.

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Even Job’s companions, poor theologians though they were, got this part right:

Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him. And when they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him. And they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward heaven. And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great.
Job 2:11-13

But sometimes, even with the best of intentions, maybe without even realizing it, we skip the vital step of making an appointment to sympathize with and comfort our suffering loved ones. We neglect to rend our hearts and sit on the ground and weep with those who mourn. We fail to see that their suffering is very great. And yet this is one of the very ministries Christ calls us to.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.

A time to discuss theology, and a time to weep with those who weep.