Tag: Christian Testimony

Christian women, Church, Complementarianism, Mailbag

The Mailbag: Should women give testimonies and reports, lead prayer and worship, read Scripture, in church?

Michelle Lesley

I was wondering about having a female missionary giving a talk on her mission field in place of the sermon for that Sunday. Also we have had a female worship leader saying the prayer at the end of the service.

When we consider women’s roles in the church, it’s good to think about these “real church life” types of situations and how best to handle them according to Scripture. A couple of resources here at the blog that might be helpful to those thinking through these issues are my Rock Your Role series- especially, Rock Your Role FAQs.

There’s a lot to address in this reader’s question, so let’s break it down into several smaller questions.

1. Is it ever OK for another sort of presentation to take the place of the Sunday morning sermon?

Well, it’s not anathema or anything. The Bible doesn’t command a certain order of worship on Sunday mornings (for that matter, it technically doesn’t even command that we meet on Sunday mornings, but that’s a bucket of worms for another day), but as we read through the New Testament, it’s apparent that preaching and Bible teaching were the centerpiece of the New Testament church’s worship meetings. I think that’s a good example to follow.

I’m a little leery of anything taking the place of the Sunday morning sermon. If I were a pastor (which I know we’re all glad I’m not) I would probably consider scheduling special presentations such as a lengthy mission report, choir presentations, dramas, etc. during the Sunday evening service, the midweek service, or another day. If the mission report could be shortened to 10 or 15 minutes, perhaps it could take the place of other parts of the worship service, or the service could (gasp!) be lengthened a few minutes.

If the mission report has to take the place of the Sunday sermon, the optics of a woman giving the report are a little iffy, because it gives the appearance that she’s delivering the sermon. If a man could give the report, or if the pastor can at least take a teaching moment to verbally clarify to the congregation (for visitors and others who may not understand what the Bible says about women preaching) that the woman giving the report is not preaching or delivering the sermon, that would be helpful.

2. Is it OK for women to give mission reports or personal testimonies during the worship service?

(For the purposes of this question, I’m going to assume that whatever kind of mission work the woman is doing is in compliance with Scripture. Also, the reader did not ask about personal testimonies, but I’m throwing that in because the two are similar in nature.)

I don’t see why either would be a problem biblically, as long as she doesn’t veer off into preaching, exhorting, or instructing the congregation (which I have seen happen), because that’s the biblical prohibition, not that women are never to open their mouths in church. I once heard a pastor say that when someone is going to give his or her testimony in his church, he has the person write out what will be said and then goes through a “dress rehearsal” of the testimony with the person where he can offer advice or editing. This is a really good idea, not just because of women (and men) who tend to veer off into preaching, but to correct any false doctrine the pastor wasn’t aware the person held to, to keep the testimony from going too long, etc. This would work for mission reports too.

I would encourage women who give reports or testimonies to check in with your pastor well in advance and ask if he has any advice, parameters, or concerns with what you might say. Focus on the fact that you are giving a report on, or testifying to, what you have personally seen, done, experienced, or learned. It’s fine to talk about something God has taught you through His Word or read a verse you found helpful in your situation. What’s not fine is to turn things around and tell the congregation what they need to do, learn, think, or believe. I know we’re constantly driving home the point that when it come to church, the Bible, doctrine, etc., it’s not about you…it’s not about you…it’s not about you. In this case…it’s about you and your story – giving all glory to God, of course.

3. Should women lead prayers or read Scripture aloud (verbatim, no commentary or teaching) from the platform during the worship service?

(I’m throwing in Scripture reading even though the reader didn’t ask about it, because my answer is basically the same for both.)

I would discourage both for a couple of reasons.

First, while neither is technically a violation of the “letter of the law,” so to speak, in the times we live in where so many women and their churches are in rebellion against the biblical role of women in the church, having a woman lead prayer or read Scripture from the pulpit or platform may send a message – to visitors and church members – that your church doesn’t want to send.

If a visitor walks in and sees a woman leading in this way she could draw the conclusion that your church is egalitarian. If she’s looking for an egalitarian church and thinks she’s found one, you’ll eventually have to disabuse her of that idea, possibly months down the road after she has already joined the church. If a visitor who’s complementarian comes in and sees women leading in this way, she could also draw the conclusion that your church is egalitarian and get up in the middle of the service and leave before you have a chance to explain the situation. The same kinds of conclusions could be drawn by the members of your church with similar results, causing unrest in your church. Why put a stumbling block in front of your visitors or members?

Second, there seems to be a tragic dearth of male leadership in the church in general. So many men are either too lazy or too afraid to lead, or they see very few examples of what leadership by a godly man looks like. I think it would be great for the pastor to sometimes ask men who need to learn leadership skills to dip a toe in the water by leading a prayer during church, and at other times ask a spiritually mature man to model leadership skills by leading prayer during worship. Sometimes, these kinds of situations aren’t about women’s roles, but men’s needs.

4. Should women be worship leaders (lead the congregational music)?

(Let me just take a moment to say that my husband has been a minister of music for about thirty years, so I do have some experience in this area.)

No, women should not serve as the worship leader. The primary reason I say this has more to do with the position of minister of music – a term I think we need to get back to – than the role of women in the church. The secondary reason I say this is in #3, above.

Overseeing the music ministry of the church, selecting music for worship and the teaching of biblical truths, being in charge of half of the worship service, and leading the congregation in worship is not some inconsequential thing that can be shuffled off to any Tom, Dick, or Harry who happens to have a nice voice. It is a pastoral role. As the pastor shepherds the congregation through the exhortation of the preached Word, the minister of music shepherds the congregation through the worship, praise, declaration, and imploring of the words we sing. Preaching is when God speaks to us. Singing is when we speak to God. And we need a pastor to teach and lead us to do that biblically.

By biblical definition, women are not to be pastors or hold that kind of functional authority over men in the church. Therefore, women should not hold the position of minister of music or “worship leader” (singing in the choir or on the praise team, singing solos, playing an instrument, etc., under the leadership of the minister of music, is, of course, fine). By the same token, men who do not meet the biblical qualifications of pastor or elder should also not hold the position of minister of music. Placing biblically unqualified people in pastoral positions is not only disobedient to Scripture, it exposes the church’s low view of, and lack of reverence for the lofty act of worship.

Please read Scott Aniol’s excellent article on this subject: Who Leads Worship?

If you have a question about: a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

Abortion, Share Your Testimony

Testimony Tuesday: Sharron’s Story

Michelle Lesley

If you’d like to share your story, please see the info at the end of the article. Though all types of testimonies are welcome, right now, I’m especially looking for brief (1-3 paragraphs) testimonies of those who had to leave an unbiblical church, but diligently searched for and found a doctrinally sound church.

Sharron’s Story

I grew up in a very liberal church that, as far as I can remember, never spoke of the need for salvation, being born-again or Christ’s coming return. I was baptized, confirmed and at the age of 18 I hightailed it out because it was so boring. Thinking only of my newfound independence in moving out of my parent’s home I got into drugs and alcohol and partying. I maintained a good job and found out I could hold a job AND party!

I became sexually promiscuous and at the age of 25 I became pregnant. Giving no thought to it being a child (the idea actually never crossed my mind!) I promptly had an abortion thinking it would quickly solve my dilemma. It instead led to a lot of new self-destructive behavior.

I got married two years later and became pregnant with a child I truly wanted. I still didn’t understand the scope of abortion. It was 1975. All I knew is that it was newly legal so it must be fine.

My husband and I continued to party, we made a lot of money and could afford to live the high life.

One day, 18 years later in 1993, a neighbor came to my house and began telling me about her life before “Jesus saved her”. I thought, “uh-oh, a holy roller”. She told me she had been into drugs and alcohol and had had an abortion and had even tried to end her life. I thought “why is she telling me this!”

But it struck a nerve. That was MY life she was describing! She asked me if I knew Jesus. In a huff, I got up and locked myself in the bathroom. I stayed in there for what seemed like hours. Then it dawned on me….I was in MY house locked in MY bathroom waiting for HER to leave!

I came out and she gently led me over to my couch and I begrudgingly sat down. She told me Jesus forgave her for everything horrible she ever did. I said, ” even your abortion?” She said yes in a way that made me believe her. She shared the gospel with me and asked me if I wanted to pray and ask Him to forgive me of all my sins. She said Jesus is a gentleman and He was standing at the door of my heart, knocking – waiting for me to invite Him into my life. Suddenly a giant picture of Jesus knocking on a door that hung over the choir loft of my childhood church – filled my mind. I never knew whose door that was He was knocking at!

I began to cry so hard. 18 years of bottled up junk came pouring out. She helped me pray because I didn’t know how and that moment I was forgiven and my life was radically changed almost instantly. My neighbor helped me to join a good Bible church and my 10 year old daughter was saved two weeks later!

I devoured the Bible twice in a short time and read everything my neighbor had in her full library.

The first thing God did was heal me from the guilt and shame of my abortion. It haunted me but as my understanding of His mercy and love and forgiveness began to go deep into my heart, He healed me. It wasn’t overnight. It took a long time. But because He did heal me, 10 years later God placed me in a biblical post-abortion Healing ministry, Healing Hearts Ministries International. I trained to become a counselor and have taken many, many women through the post-abortion Bible study written by the founder of Healing Hearts. I’ve had the privilege of watching God forgive, heal and set women free from the aftermath of abortion.

I’ve been in this ministry for over 11 years and I’m always amazed at the way God brings post-abortive women into my path. God never lets anything go to waste if we allow Him to use the mess of our past.

Ladies, God is still at work in the hearts and lives of His people, including yours! Would you like to share a testimony of how God saved you, how He has blessed you, convicted you, taught you something from His word, brought you out from under false doctrine, placed you in a good church or done something otherwise awesome in your life? Private/direct message me on social media, e-mail me (MichelleLesley1@yahoo.com), or comment below. Try to be brief (3-4 paragraphs or less) if possible. I’ll select a few to share on the blog another time. Let’s encourage one another with God’s work in our lives!

Share Your Testimony

Testimony Tuesday: Gina’s Story

Michelle Lesley

Gina’s Testimony

I grew up in a Lutheran home. I heard about the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, about believing in Christ and His death and resurrection- and doing good works. I didn’t hear about my desperate need to repent of my sins and trust in Christ alone for salvation though. I was reassured my baptism, confirmation and good works kept me in good stance with God.

I was a kid that hardly got in trouble. At 18 I met my soon to be husband. He was a cradle Catholic and his parents were devout. After we married and I was pregnant with our first child, I decided to become a Catholic too. As a so-so Catholic, I figured I was a good enough person to make clearance on Judgment Day being I didn’t murder anyone or rob banks. I believed any other small sin of mine was forgiven through the works I did and because I believed in God.

I was around 23 years old, a wife and mother to a one-year-old. I started watching John Edwards. He is a practicing medium with his own talk show. I found it entertaining. I definitely questioned the validity of it all, but I was still intrigued and tuned into every episode. I thought either the man’s claims were true or the whole show was a farce. I didn’t even think about there being a third option- like say…demonic deception.

I soon found myself deep into something I NEVER thought I would be. It all started off with me seeing a figure of a man walking behind me as I stared at a darkened computer screen with the lamp on behind me. No one was there when I turned around. I wondered, an overactive imagination or a ghost? I tried to ignore it. But soon followed several other encounters; hearing voices, seeing things move that shouldn’t and even feeling a mouth blow hard in my ear as I sat in my living room. I wasn’t able to ignore it anymore. Most people seemed hesitant to believe me, except those in the Catholic faith, kid you not, who would then proceed to tell me their own stories! I knew my experiences were real, I knew I wasn’t making it up. I was just trying to make sense of it somehow. Someone reminded me that the previous owner of our house talked about someone dying in that house years before. So I started entertaining the idea of a dead person making himself known to me. I stuck with that story, because I really didn’t know what else to think.

Weeks after all of this began I entered college. I enrolled in Psychology 101 and about a week into the class our fun-loving, charismatic teacher started talking about her ability to read people’s auras, tap into past lives and speak to dead people (yes Psych 101 at a decent college. Be warned parents! The college let her stay there for years knowing she taught this stuff during and after class. Scary!). She told us it was a “gift” she had since the age of 4. She would go around the class and tell people what injuries they had, what they had done earlier that day, etc. Some kids seemed uncomfortable with her unexplained knowledge, yet with all that had been going on in my own life, my ears perked up and I was intrigued.

One day, early on in the semester, she made the statement that when we find a feather in a peculiar place, it’s an angel telling us we are on the right path. The VERY next day while taking a shower I reached up to put shampoo in my hair and felt something poking out of my hair- it was a HUGE feather!! I mean, it was a big one, not a soft little fuzzy one. I thought, hmm, maybe this lady’s teachings were the right path and an angel is telling me so? As silly as it sounds, when you are given a “sign” that seems to validate prior feelings or information, it gets your attention – and without necessary discernment you are soon locked in.

I became locked in as I kept hearing voices and having unexplained spiritual experiences. This teacher would invite a few of us naïve ones to hang out at her place and call on the dead. She would school us on all the ins and outs of the spiritual world, on her experiences and how to orchestrate our own encounters. She taught us “thought-ology” as she called it, which is the practice of thinking positive thoughts enough that they come true because of the energy they possess (I later found out this is what Word of Faith circles teach, but with all the right words). She would give us Bible verses (and twist them) to show us that reincarnation was biblical and she would tell us that we had past lives and that we need to tap into those lives to grow in our knowledge. I was taking notes, buying books she recommended and worst of all, telling my family and friends all of this ‘wonderful’ insight, trying to get them to fully endorse it. Most did. I was reading auras on other people, using crystals and tapping into the spiritual world as this woman had instructed me. The semester ended but we kept in touch over phone and I met with her and a few others occasionally. This teacher would tell me, while in front of the others, that I have a special gift in the spirit realm and would treat me with special gifts and praise. I enjoyed the limelight. Boy, I was in deep. Blech!

A week after 9/11, I realized my husband found someone better. I was headed for a divorce while pregnant, in the middle of college and unemployed. I was utterly devastated. It was extremely difficult, but it was the very thing I needed in order to eventually fall on my knees before God. At a low point, when I felt I couldn’t trust anyone, not even myself, I remember crying out, literally, “I just want the truth. Is there such a thing?!” I desperately hoped that God, if there was a God, would help me. The “dead people” sure weren’t helping!

My aunt Tami was recently saved herself and heard of what happened. She also knew of my history in the occult. She took the opportunity to reach out to me in truth. Email after email she talked to me with much patience and compassion, yet with boldness and clarity, the Word of God. I kept arguing against her beliefs with things I believed to be true in the occult practices. But as hard as I argued, she didn’t waver – and I still listened. After all, I claimed to be a Christian, shouldn’t I be ok with talking about the Bible? I began to be very surprised with myself – of how irritated I got with Scripture and the name of Christ being discussed for more than a few seconds. I could tolerate an hour long church service at the Catholic and Lutheran church talking about God but 5 minutes of Aunt Tami talking about Scriptures or Christ, was torture.

As months went by and as I tried to rely on the occult practices for strength and guidance, I would see more holes appear in its authenticity. This would eat at me! I tried so hard to make it all fit. I poured more into the occultic books to reassure myself. I had sold this so hard to everyone, including myself, so I wanted to hang on to it even harder. My psychology teacher had taught me that we have the control over spiritual beings, spiritual matters, and all outcomes in our live if we just thought right. But seeing that wasn’t exactly panning out, I didn’t know what to do about it.

Right after my daughter was born I moved back to my home town to be closer to family. Looking back I could see God working in getting me there. What would end up being the most crucial part of the whole thing was the fact that God was moving my aunt Tami back there as well. After we were both moved into the same town we would visit one another, just getting to know one another even better. She would increasingly bring up the truths of the Scripture to me; of how to be saved.

One day I went over to her house to help her paint. We were side by side painting a wall when we both heard a man’s voice say VERY loud and clear as if he was yelling at the back of our heads, “Hey!” We both quickly turned around and saw only our little kids playing behind us. Then we both looked at each other and simultaneously said, “did you hear that?!” All of a sudden my right shoulder started to tingle and her left shoulder started to tingle really hard as if something was standing right in between us. She said later that when that happened she first freaked out a little but knew right away what was happening – it was apparent that God was allowing her see the world that I was living in; the world of dark, demonic deception. Right after it happened, she silently prayed and I just kept saying, “See, this is what I’ve been talking about!” She came over to me with fervency and said something like, “Gina, these are demons. There is no such thing as dead people walking around. In Christ’s presence, the demons tremble. Jesus is the only One Who can make the demons flee out of your life.” I believed her for some reason, probably because God had been working on my heart. I was relieved to know the identity of the spirits that kept taunting me and that there was someone who could deal with them once and for all, Jesus!

Shortly after that incident, she convinced me to attend a Bible group. I wasn’t sure if I could handle an hour or so of talking about Jesus and Scripture so I was hesitant but I loved spending time with the other women and talking. After attending a few times we were discussing a Scripture verse on ‘inheritance’. I think the verse literally slapped me across the face. I can’t remember the Scripture reference because at that time I didn’t pay attention to those things, but God was letting me know that I will not share in His heavenly inheritance if I don’t repent and go to Christ in confession and faith.

At that moment, without making it aware to anyone else, I understood exactly what I needed to do! I don’t remember anything right after that, just getting home and running to my bedroom, falling down to the floor and crying to the Lord Jesus to forgive me, something Tami had told me many times before that I needed to do. I finally saw that I didn’t really have Him but that I needed Him and I wanted Him. Instantaneously my eyes were opened. I remember standing up and realizing I saw sin differently, or rather for the first time. I remember thinking, “oh my, lying and bad language is such a sin” I was thinking of family and friends and the desperate state they were in and knowing I had to tell them about their need for Christ. I soon went to all those that I shared the occult with and told them I was wrong, it’s demonic and Christ saved me out of it. I asked for their forgiveness and I gave them the Gospel. I looked at my precious kids, who were so little and unaware of what was going on in my life, and knew life just drastically changed for them too! Praise God!

From that day on I was going 100 mph towards God. I could finally understand God’s Word so crystal clear (it no longer seemed as if I was reading a different language!) and I soaked in it. I talked till early morning with Tami on the things of God and asked a billion questions. I joined Bible studies, attended Christian seminars and ate, drank, and slept Jesus! I couldn’t get enough of His Word. He poured so much life and truth into my heart as I read His Word, it was beyond amazing. I eventually got what I asked for on that dark day I cried out for truth. God in His great mercy gave me saving TRUTH. Thankfully, not too long after my salvation, I was able to witness my sister’s salvation and transformation. What a blessing!! I just think of how awesome it is that God saved Tami, my sister and I within just a few years time. Thankfully so – because as the Lord was growing us the devil was attacking us and we were able to lean on the Word together to encourage one another in God’s truth as we battled. Thankfully I now also have a solid Christian husband who encourages me to live out my faith; who I lean on for encouragement as well.

Tami was right. Demons were kicked out once Christ gave me new life. But they were not happy about it and the attacks came in different ways, especially when I tried to share my faith- but I kept remembering the power that I possessed, the Lord, and because of Him I was no longer in their snares and thankfully became less and less naïve to their devices.

I’m reminded often when reading the Word and thinking back at what Christ saved me out of that I must put on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6). Christians these days want to turn a deaf ear to a lot of what Satan is up to. It sometimes frightens them, yet there is nothing to fear when we are in Christ. Sometimes demonic activity just doesn’t concern them and they end up buying what the demons are selling in a saint’s suit. Christ just wants us to be aware of the powers that want to destroy us so that we can resist them by holding fast to the Truth of God’s Word. Through Christ we have victory!

Since my salvation, I have a growing desire to witness to those who are lost but to those especially ensnared in Catholicism, mysticism, spiritism (which is heavy in Catholicism as they do much conjuring of the dead, supposedly) and other false teachings-some of the avenues through which Satan tries to kill, steal and destroy.
Demons are clever, fast and seasoned. They parade as an angel of light/godly, or as something innocent and non-threatening. We need to be on the alert. Tami was the ONLY person in my life to warn me of the dangers that I was entangled in and to give me the Gospel straight up. I’m forever grateful! And I believe we all need to do more of that.

I was a sinner deserving of Hell. I was what Revelation 21:8 speaks of, “But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.” I was also what Leviticus 20:6 speaks of, “As for the person who turns to mediums and to spiritists, to play the harlot after them, I will also set My face against that person and will cut him off from among his people.” By the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, He didn’t let my story end there.

By the way, I tried to reach that psychology teacher after I was saved. She wouldn’t answer the phone or respond to my messages. I’ve continued to pray for her and all of her students over the years.

I was saved from MUCH. ALL glory to God! I most definitely cannot boast. Thank you Lord Jesus!

Ladies, God is still at work in the hearts and lives of His people, including yours! Would you like to share a testimony of how God saved you, how He has blessed you, convicted you, taught you something from His word, brought you out from under false doctrine, placed you in a good church or done something otherwise awesome in your life? Private/direct message me on social media, e-mail me (MichelleLesley1@yahoo.com), or comment below. Try to be brief (3-4 paragraphs or less) if possible. I’ll select a few to share on the blog another time. Let’s encourage one another with God’s work in our lives!

Encouragement, Share Your Testimony

Testimony Tuesday: Stories from Several Sisters

Michelle Lesley

On today’s Testimony Tuesday,
several sisters in Christ share their stories.

From Facebook:

Cheryl’s Story
Words are powerful, and when they are well intended, but off-base, they can cause massive damage.

About 25 years ago we lost two of our three babies to a genetic disease. When the second of the two was still with us, (they died 4 years apart), a well-intentioned person came to encourage us, and told us, “If you have enough faith, your baby will live”.

Those words were a hook that dragged me through years and years of torment. “If I have enough faith, then…” My baby died, so it became MY FAULT because I didn’t have sufficient faith. It also made God someone who couldn’t be pleased. How much faith DOES one need to get a miracle, and how do you get it?? It was a huge can of worms.

Two decades later, I broke down into a major depression that nearly ended my life, but God led me to safe counsel, and I was truly, finally healed from carrying that horrible guilt and grief all those years.

Words are powerful. Use wisdom because sometimes Satan uses well-intentioned words as bait that have lies wrapped in them.

Anonymous
I was going to a charismatic church and the pastor started promoting and giving Rick Warren’s book Purpose Driven Life out to all the new Christians. I was very concerned since I don’t agree with Warren’s teaching so I made an appointment to meet with the pastor and his wife (who is a co-pastor). They didn’t agree with my concerns at all and even mentioned during the conversation that they like Joel Osteen! I knew then that it was time for me to leave that church. I started attending a Baptist church and have left the Word of Faith doctrine completely. Feeling very blessed to be where I am now!

Comments from blog articles:

From The Mailbag: I “feel led” in a different direction from my husband:

Deby’s Story
Submission has gotten a bad rap in our society. It is not being a doormat or being mentally or a physically abused submission. It is submitting as if to Christ. My husband was not a believer and now he is. It was hard for me not to nag him about things, I had to trust God and put my husband in God’s hands and his will. Sure I made some mistakes along the way but eventually in God’s timing not mine, he called my husband to the faith.

Catherine’s Story
When I was first married, I was the unsaved and my dearest husband was the Believer. You have no idea what that man of mine had to put up with in the first 2 years of our marriage before the Lord got a hold of my heart and I was made to look at my own depravity, sinful desires, and all-around foolishness. I am a fortunate woman that my husband stuck around for that conversion, and I know that too was part of a Sovereign Lord’s plan and one that I cannot thank Him enough for. After 32 years of marriage, I have not “arrived”. I look back on those first couple years and I’m humbled by what the study of God’s Word and the sanctification that the Spirit works in a person’s life has done to change me so completely.

Ladies, God is still at work in the hearts and lives of His people, including yours! Would you like to share a testimony of how God saved you, how He has blessed you, convicted you, taught you something from His word, brought you out from under false doctrine, placed you in a good church or done something otherwise awesome in your life? Private/direct message me on social media, e-mail me (MichelleLesley1@yahoo.com), or comment below. Try to be brief (3-4 paragraphs or less) if possible. I’ll select a few to share on the blog another time. Let’s encourage one another with God’s work in our lives!

Encouragement, Share Your Testimony

Testimony Tuesday: Barbara’s Story

Michelle Lesley

Barbara’s Testimony

I can only start with, “God help me, I’m so very weak.”

Last March I trembled my way to pre-op for open heart surgery. With promises from my husband I’d be okay, I kissed him hurriedly goodbye. I opened my eyes, two open heart surgeries and seventeen days later. Still nearer to death than life. My darling husband smiling down at me.

I couldn’t move. I was so very weak, hallucinating from the drugs they had used to keep me sedated all that time. I was confused and scared. Nothing made sense.

Eleven months later I’ve been through a grinding process of rehab. Eleven weeks in the hospital, finger amputations (tops, tips, half my thumb, toes), lung failure, kidney failure (kidneys are better!) but NO SURGEON could fix my spiritual heart.

I strove, oh I have and do, to live this life as a godly wife, even when some “charismatic ” friends said it was foolish and not really what the Bible said. My sister arguing with me that serving gets you nowhere, if men are too weak or lazy just step in (as if I’m not weak or lazy!)

But there he was, Dave, smiling down at me, so happy I was still with him. I couldn’t move from my bed, I was attached to dozens of lines, but he only left me to go to the hotel to sleep. For weeks he was with me constantly. He made sure I was okay. For the last year he has served me, while I’ve been crazy humbled.

Every day, he helps me dress, get washed, gets me to therapy. Every day, he makes me tea (the best!) and toast. He makes sure I have lunch and checks in on me often. He cooks dinners (say “Hello Fresh”) and then gets me tucked in at night. He listens to Steve Lawson with me in the morning. He prays with and for me.

Why did I type all this? Because, though I was the server, he was a server too. We were a team in that regard. Then it shifted. I was no longer a participant in our marriage in any physical way. AT. ALL.

And he just didn’t care. Oh yes, my pride made me cry a lot. My fear made me cry a lot. But he just said, “Barb, you’ve served me for 27 years. I got this now.” He did. He puts together my 65 pills a day, he rubs my destroyed feet, he holds me when I’m just too tired and I feel I can’t go on. He always has been a godly husband to me, but Jesus has shone through, shining into the lives of tens of other (mostly women) who watch his grave, grace-filled care of me and ask us, “Why?”. And we get to share the gospel.

It’ll be a year soon and I struggle NOW more than ever putting my life in his hands, shutting my tongue, speaking kindly, knowing that my life must have room for tragedy, but that God is working it all out for those that love Him and are called according to His purpose. I don’t know any more about the length of my life now than I ever did. God has surprised me with extended life since my first breath! So, I pray I remember these simple but freeing truths. Freedom from sin, free to trust, free to simply be.

Ladies, God is still at work in the hearts and lives of His people, including yours! Would you like to share a testimony of how God saved you, how He has blessed you, convicted you, taught you something from His word, brought you out from under false doctrine, placed you in a good church or done something otherwise awesome in your life? Private/direct message me on social media, e-mail me (MichelleLesley1@yahoo.com), or comment below. Try to be brief (3-4 paragraphs or less) if possible. I’ll select a few to share on the blog another time. Let’s encourage one another with God’s work in our lives!