Category: Guest Posts

Guest Posts

Guest Post: The Single’s Advantage

Michelle Lesley

If your theology pretty much matches up with mine (as outlined in my “Welcome” and “Statement of Faith” tabs in the blue menu bar at the top of this page) and you’d like to contribute a guest post, drop me an e-mail, and let’s chat about it.

The Single’s Advantage
by Bob Wheatley 

I used to think Paul was ridiculous.  

He was God’s chosen apostle, a mouthpiece to the Gentiles, yet I somehow still found him offensive. What caused me to scoff at this heralded saint? It was not the beatings, the shipwrecks, or the hardships he faced. It was not his devotion, conversion, or capacity for love. Oh no. My contempt for this man stemmed from one page of Scripture, and a teaching that I loathed to my core.  

Addressing the Christians at the church of Corinth, the apostle Paul once wrote: 

“To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am … I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided … I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. —1 Corinthians 7:8, 32–34, 35 ESV 

I could not believe what my eyes were reading. How could anyone believe that being single is better than being married? That thought seemed so foreign, so impossible to me, that it actually caused me to doubt my own level of faith.  

If I couldn’t be joyful in singleness, then was my faith far weaker than I thought it was? Was I less of a Christian if I struggled with singleness?  

But then, sure enough, my excuses came to the rescue. I knew that Paul had navigated his entire ministry without a woman at his side, but the truth is, Paul had a connection to the Lord that we cannot fathom—and all for good reason, of course.  

The risen Jesus had physically appeared to Paul on the road to Damascus (Acts 9). As most theologians will attest, it was also Paul who had seen God, face-to-face, when he was caught up into the third heaven (2 Corinthians 12).  

Those excuses were my reason to not take Paul’s words seriously.  

Who knows, Paul? I joked to myself. Maybe even I could forsake companionship, sex, and the blessings of marriage if I too had been snatched into heaven!  

But that wasn’t true. If I’m being honest, I did not want to go deeper with God.  

I really just wanted a wife.  

Without experiencing a miraculous vision on the road to Damascus, I would not allow Paul’s words to dissuade me. 

But then, everything turned upside down.  

My Hero of the Faith 

One afternoon, I was reading a book by Eric Metaxas1. The book was called Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy. This book told the story of a German pastor, living during World War II under the Nazi regime. The name of this German was Dietrich Bonhoeffer1, and his testimony would change my life.  

I had never experienced a book like Bonhoeffer.  

Like most readers, I often resonate with characters in a book in some form or fashion. It is one of the things I love most about books. Whether fiction or fact, novel or biography, I find nuggets and nuances that can bind me to characters.  

It was C. S. Lewis2 who once said, “In reading great literature I become a thousand men and yet remain myself.” And yet, my reading of Bonhoeffer felt deeper than that.  

With nearly every word I read, I saw a clearer and clearer reflection of myself. It never stopped! Whispers and subtlety soon gave way to weirdness.  

Dietrich’s spirit, habits, passions, and faults—somehow, I possessed them all: 

  • His mind operated in black and white 
  • His tongue often spoke in absolutes 
  • His bedroom, like mine, was fit for a Spartan 

In this young, fiery pastor, I had found a more righteous, more accomplished, more intelligent version of me.  

Though separated by time and a great many miles, I had found my new hero of the faith. But the game would soon turn sour. 

The Single’s Advantage 

I soon came across a different quote, and it ended my honeymoon instantly. This quote was made by another pastor who was a mentor and friend of Bonhoeffer’s.  

He found the young Dietrich to be “quite outstanding,” and he praised him with the utmost enthusiasm. But it was the subsequent line, coming just one sentence later, that challenged my view of the world.  

Still speaking of Bonhoeffer, the pastor said: 

“He has in addition the special Pauline advantage in that he is unmarried.”  

The Pauline what?  

There I was, reading Bonhoeffer, still enchanted by a wiser and much grander “me,” only to be confronted by my greatest private struggle. Like Bonhoeffer before me, I, too, was unmarried. My extended season of singleness—which had lasted for years at that point—felt like more of a punishment than a “Pauline advantage.”  

And yet, there I was, reading of another man—and a godly man, at that—who affirmed Paul’s words from 1 Corinthians 7. Heckel praised Dietrich Bonhoeffer because he was single.  

How could that possibly be? 

As I pondered that question, I considered Paul’s words that had irked me so much. “I say this for your own benefit,” he had said to his readers. And what benefit did he say that singleness could bring?  

“An undivided devotion to the Lord” (1 Cor. 7:35 ESV). 

Paul’s words had presented a fork in the road. They forced me to wrestle with some sensitive questions: Could I call myself a Christian while ignoring Paul’s letter? How might my life have to change if his opinions were true? And then, the most dangerous question of all:  

What if my singleness was an advantage?  

That was the day my quest began. I had made my decision, right then and there, to simply take Paul at his word. I would try to find purpose in my season of singleness.  

Top Three Advantages of Being Single 

What happened next was nothing short of radical. I decided that I would no longer be consumed with seeking a wife. Instead, my focus would be much simpler than that: I simply would focus on Jesus.  

Day by day, I saw my character being changed from the inside out. What once felt like torture turned into a blessing.  

I ended up writing an entire book on the subject, but here are the three top “advantages” that I’ve found in my singleness: 

1. MORE TIME FOR GOD 

The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided.” —1 Corinthians 7:32-34 ESV 

I have a number of newly-married friends who have affirmed this reality for me. 

Sometimes, these friends simply do not have the time to read their Bibles in the morning. They lose out on quiet time. They can’t pray as much as they did while unmarried. 

The single Christian—although potentially facing more loneliness—certainly has more time to seek the Lord. 

Are you taking advantage of the time that you have? 

2. MORE TIME FOR YOU 

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” —Ephesians 2:10 ESV 

Relationships take up a lot of time. In both dating and marriage relationships alike, our time must be shared with the person at our side. 

When our interests are “divided,” we have less time in the day to serve our church, discover our passions, develop our skills, advance professionally, or wait on the Lord to reveal His will. 

In your season of singleness, you have the unique ability to discover your gifts, talents, passions, and burdens.  

What works do you think God has “prepared in advance” for you? Ask Him to guide you to His will for your life! 

3. MORE TIME FOR SUFFERING 

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. —Hebrews 12:11 ESV 

I realize that this claim might feel stark, but stick with me here. 

Make no mistake, it is actually suffering, not pleasure, that develops our character into holiness.  

In fact, Hebrews 2:10 even says that Jesus Himself was made perfect through suffering. 

By walking through our seasons of singleness, God is molding and shaping us into His image. 

All pain is painful, but not all pain is harmful. 

You can trust your Father to make the most of this season.  

Final Thoughts

Thanks to the apostle Paul and Dietrich Bonhoeffer, I took a radical approach to my season of singleness. I made a concerted effort to give Jesus my heart. Nothing was off limits. Everything was His. My heart, soul, mind, and strength were focused on the One that I longed for.  

What I had not realized before is that in my season of singleness, God has given me the time and space to seek Him, walk with Him, and grow my trust in Him. 

And then, one day, after months and years of seeking the Lord, the reality finally hit me: I was living the Pauline advantage. 

And now, you can be as well. 

1Note from Michelle: There are doctrinal/biblical issues with both Eric Metaxas and Dietrich Bonhoeffer, which the reader may research on her own if she wishes. The publication of this guest post should not be construed as my recommendation of either of these men as doctrinally sound teachers to follow.

2 Note from Michelle: C.S. Lewis

Bob Wheatley is a bestselling author, keynote speaker, and former professional athlete. His work has been featured on Way-FM, The FISH, KCBI Christian Radio, ESPN, FOX Sports, and various other international outlets. He lives in Nashville, Tennessee. 

Bob has graciously offered the audiobook version of his book, Single-Minded: Finding Purpose & Strength in Your Season of Singleness, free of charge to my readers. Thank you, Bob! Click HERE to download.

Christmas, Guest Posts

Guest Post: The Gospel in Handel’s Messiah

Michelle Lesley

If your theology pretty much matches up with mine (as outlined in my “Welcome” and “Statement of Faith” tabs in the blue menu bar at the top of this page) and you’d like to contribute a guest post, drop me an e-mail, and let’s chat about it.

The Gospel in Handel’s Messiah
by Alexandra Thomas

In early December 2017 I attended a performance of Handel’s Messiah with my parents. It was my first time experiencing the entire piece. I did not know it well, but I came home and listened to it during Advent with my Bible open. Did you know that Messiah is composed entirely of Scripture? Do you know that it tells the gospel from start to finish? Read on to be encouraged again by the gospel that saved you or to hear God’s heart for you if you have never heard the gospel before. May you be challenged to use what you learn to share the gospel this Christmas season. 

Part 1: O Come O Come, Emmanuel

Part one of Messiah references Old Testament prophecies of the coming Messiah then tells the story of Jesus’ birth and early ministry. It opens with “Comfort ye, comfort ye my people, saith your God” (Isaiah 40:1) and goes on to the prophet to come before Jesus, John the Baptist (see Matthew 3:1-3).

The voice of him that crieth in the wilderness, prepare ye the way of the Lord; make straight in the desert a highway for our God (Isaiah 40:3; Matt 3:3)

Handel emphasizes God’s heart for the nations throughout the first part of Messiah. God said to Abraham in Genesis 22:18 that through him all the nations of the earth would be blessed. Handel highlights how the glory of the Lord will be revealed (Isaiah 40:5) and the desire of all peoples will be fulfilled in His coming (Haggai 2:6). The nations shall come to the light (Isaiah 60:3) and when this King comes He will speak peace to the nations (Zech 9:9-10). 

Here comes the Christmas story! The coming King would be born through a virgin (Isaiah 7:14). God promised this coming King would bring light to people walking in darkness. He would be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:2,6). The “good news of great joy” was first told to shepherds by an angel of the Lord, and glory and praise were given to God (Luke 2:8-11,13-14).

The first section of Messiah ends with prophecies pointing to Jesus’ ministry (Isaiah 35:5-6) and a look at the character of this Messiah. We know from the Gospel accounts that Jesus healed those who were blind (Matt. 9:27-31), restored speech to those who were mute (Matt. 9:32-33), restored the bodies of those who were paralyzed (Matt. 9:1-7), and opened the ears of those who were deaf (Mark 7:31-37). 

“…they brought Him all the sick, those afflicted with various diseases and pains, those oppressed by demons, those having seizures, and paralytics, and He healed them.” (Matthew 4:24)

In John 10:11 Jesus says, “I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” Handel returns to Isaiah 40, describing how God cares for His people like a shepherd feeding His flock, gathering the lambs in His arms, and gently leading those who are with young. Part one concludes the same as it began. “Comfort ye” of Isaiah 40:1 is seen fulfilled in Christ in the closing songs taken from Matthew 11:28-30:

Come unto Him, all ye that labor, that are heavy laden, and He will give you rest

Take His yoke upon you, and learn of Him; for He is meek and lowly of heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

Part Two: The Cross and the Empty Tomb

Part two of Messiah opens with the words of John the Baptist from John 1:29:

Behold the Lamb of God, that taketh away the sins of the world.

The music turns to more sorrowful melodies as Handel walks us through the sufferings of our Savior as prophesied in Isaiah 53:3-6, Psalm 22:7-8, Psalm 69:20, and Lamentations 1:2. You can read fulfillment of these prophecies in Luke’s account of Jesus’ arrest and crucifixion in Luke 22 and 23.

He was despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.

He hid not His face from shame and spitting.

He was wounded for our transgressions; He was bruised for our iniquities.

All they that see Him, laugh Him to scorn

He looked for some to have pity on Him, but there was no man; neither found He any to comfort Him

Behold, and see if there be any sorrow like unto His sorrow.

Why do we need our sins taken away? Why did our Savior need to suffer? This section includes Isaiah 53:6, which explains that “all we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned- every one- to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.” Though not every verse of Isaiah 53 is sung in Messiah, a close reading of this chapter tells us so much about the gospel. It was God’s will to allow Jesus to suffer (“to crush him” v.10). By this Jesus was made an “offering for guilt” (v.10) so that those who repent and put their trust in Him can be “accounted righteous” (v.11) because “He shall bear their iniquities” (v.11). These prophecies and their fulfillment are summarized so well by the Apostle Peter:

“When He was reviled, He did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but continued entrusting Himself to Him who judges justly. He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By His wounds you have been healed. For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.” (I Peter 2:23-25)

Handel refers to Isaiah 58:8 to note Jesus’ death: “He was cut off out of the land of the living…” then introduces Jesus’ resurrection with Psalm 16:10: “But thou didst not leave His soul in hell; nor didst thou suffer thy Holy One to see corruption.” From here part two takes on brighter sounds with quicker tempos to paint a “sound picture.” The tide has turned from sorrow to celebration. He is victorious over sin and death!

Lift up your heads, O ye gates; and be ye lifted up, ye everlasting doors; and the King of glory shall come in.

Who is this King of glory? The Lord strong and mighty, the Lord mighty in battle.

The Lord of hosts, He is the King of glory. (Ps 24:7-8,10) 

Part two has shown the suffering of our Savior and His glorious victory over sin and death. Before concluding the section, Handel includes a reminder that the news of the resurrection is meant to be shared.

How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things. (Rom 10:15)

Their sound is gone out into all lands, and their words unto the ends of the world. (Rom 10:18; Ps 19:4)

Finally, the most well known song from Messiah, the “Hallelujah Chorus.” It is written using Revelation 19:6,16 and Revelation 11:15. Traditionally the audience stands when this song is played. This began when England’s King George II stood during the song in 1743, and the custom continues today.

Hallelujah! for the Lord God omnipotent reigneth. The kingdom of this world is become the kingdom of our Lord, and of His Christ; and He shall reign for ever and ever.

Part Three: The “So What?” of Part Two

The final part of Messiah does not have the familiar tunes of the Christmas story or the iconic “Hallelujah Chorus.” I call this section the “So what?” because it dives into the impact of the cross and empty tomb. It begins with “I know that my Redeemer liveth” (Job 19:25-26) then spends considerable time in 1 Corinthians 15 to declare that:

Because Jesus died, we can be made alive in Him (1 Corinthians 15:20-22)

We who know Christ will not all sleep [die] but we shall be raised up again (1 Corinthians 15:51-54)

Because Christ is risen from the dead, death is swallowed up in victory (1 Corinthians 15:34)

O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? (1 Corinthians 15:55)

The next to last song of Messiah is one I consider a tender lullaby from God to His people. It summarizes the gospel: Jesus died and was raised, through Him we are no longer condemned, but He intercedes for us at the right hand of God. This song brings me great comfort in times of struggle as I meditate on these verses from Romans 8:31,33-34.

If God be for us, who can be against us? Who shall lay anything to the charge of God’s elect?

It is God that justifieth, who is he that condemneth?

It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is at the right hand of God, who makes intercession for us.

Messiah closes with a picture of the throne room of Heaven from Revelation 5:12-14. The cross and empty tomb lead God’s people here: reconciliation with God through Jesus Christ and an eternity in right relationship with our Maker, our Savior, and our God. Though King George II stood for the “Hallelujah Chorus,” this final song makes me want to stand and lift my arms and voice to sing:

Worthy is the lamb that was slain, and hath redeemed us to God by His blood, to receive power and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honor, and glory and blessing

Blessing and honor, glory and power, be unto Him that sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb, for ever and ever. Amen.

Share the Gospel with Handel’s Messiah

If you happen to come across Messiah this Christmas season, I would encourage you to use the opportunity to share the gospel.  Here are some ways to refresh your heart with the gospel and use this musical work for gospel conversations:

1. Listen to Messiah during Advent with your Bible open. Remind yourself of the gospel and praise God for saving you through Christ. 

2. Consider learning songs from Messiah to help you memorize Scripture.

3. If you hear the “Hallelujah Chorus” on the radio, use it as a chance to talk about the gospel in Messiah to anyone who is listening too.

4. If you have the chance to go to a Messiah performance, (1) share the gospel with those around you and (2) be sure to pray for the performers. I have met individuals who know the whole work from start to finish and never saw or responded to the gospel. Pray that as the performers sing, the Lord would use the scriptures to prepare them to respond in repentance and faith to the risen Lord Jesus.

I recall Philip’s question to the Ethiopian eunuch in Acts 8:30: “Do you understand what you are reading?” He replies, “How can I, unless someone guides me?” (Acts 8:31). Do you know what he was reading? Isaiah 53, which we saw in part two. It shows the suffering of our Savior and the marvelous work of salvation as Jesus took the punishment for our sins upon Himself. Many will hear the gospel through Messiah this season. Let the Apostle Paul’s words encourage you to share this Good News of great joy!

How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in Him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?  And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!” (Romans 10:14-15)

Alexandra is a wife and mother to three boys (two of whom are twins). She spends her time caring for her family and home much of the week and works part time as a pediatric occupational therapist. Alexandra loves music, crafting, books, baking, and recently cake decorating. She and her husband regularly pray for opportunities to share the gospel and love encouraging others to do the same.

Abortion, Christmas, Guest Posts

Guest Post: Mary’s “Unplanned” Pregnancy

Michelle Lesley

If your theology pretty much matches up with mine (as outlined in my “Welcome” and “Statement of Faith” tabs in the blue menu bar at the top of this page) and you’d like to contribute a guest post, drop me an e-mail, and let’s chat about it.

Mary’s “Unplanned” Pregnancy
by Charlotte Staudt

Have you ever heard Jesus’s birth described as an “unplanned” or “unexpected pregnancy”? Unfortunately, I’ve heard that description several times, and it seems to be gaining traction among some conservative Christians. I first heard it when I worked for a Christian public policy group, but I’ve also seen it on Focus on the Family’s website, a pregnancy care center, and even on a car magnet. During this Christmas season, you may come across this description yourself, so I would like to offer a few points as to why this description is wrong and why we can’t use the Biblical account of Mary or any part of Luke 1 to form pro-life arguments. 

Unhelpful, Cultural Euphemisms 

In today’s culture, “unplanned” and “unexpected” are usually used as euphemisms for pregnancies resulting from illicit relationships. There are exceptions, of course, but for the most part, this is the case. Since those words are generally used to describe pregnancies resulting from sin, should we use them to describe Mary’s pregnancy with Jesus, the Son of God, by the Holy Spirit? Of course not! Using such descriptions is unhelpful to say the least, and it is certainly disrespectful of God’s sovereignty. While such disrespect is probably not intentional, it simply isn’t beneficial to use cultural euphemisms to describe a part of God’s perfect plan of redemption for His people, which had been planned since before the beginning of time. 

Ignoring Biblical Context

When reading the Bible, we know that context matters. As we begin a book of the Bible, it’s important to ask and understand answers to some of the classic grade school questions of who, why, when, etc. For this point, I’d like to focus on Luke’s reason for writing, his “why.” He states this himself at the very beginning of his work: “to write an orderly account for you, most excellent Theophilus, that you may have certainty concerning the things you have been taught” (Luke 1:3-4). In other words, Luke is simply writing a complete account for a brother in Christ. He wants Theophilus to have “an orderly account” or a reliable record of the life of Jesus, and in this account, he starts at the beginning, first with the announcement of the coming of John the Baptist, and then the announcement of the coming of Jesus. 

While using cultural euphemisms was merely unhelpful, using Luke 1 to argue a pro-life position is eisegetical, the practice of eisegesis. Merriam-Webster defines eisegesis as, “The interpretation of a text (as of the Bible) by reading into it one’s own ideas.” Costi Hinn expands on this idea, writing, “Eisegesis takes a specific passage from the Bible and isolates it from its original meaning, the author’s original intention, and God’s original purpose.” Thus, when reading this account, or any Bible passage, we can’t make the text say anything the original author didn’t. As we read about Mary, we can’t project our 21st-century ideas and emotions onto the text. That would be eisegesis. We can’t cast Mary as a scared young woman facing an “unplanned pregnancy” and wondering what to do about it. There is no indication of that in the text. In fact, the text indicates quite the opposite. She was “troubled” when the angel first appeared to her, but once she hears his message, she asks one question, and simply responds, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38).

Additionally, some pro-lifers will also cite Luke 1:41, “And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb,” to argue their position. In fact, Roland Warren, president and CEO of the pro-life ministry Care Net, states the following, “If you’re a pro-choice Christian, what this actually does in Scripture is it tells you that late-term abortion and early-term abortion are both killing a life.” Does the Biblical text give any indication of any of this? No. Remember, this is an account, a record of the life of Jesus. Thus, John the Baptist’s leap is simply an action, not a foundation for an argument. 

Missing the Biblical Lessons 

Since Luke 1:26-45 does not provide us with pro-life arguments, what does it teach us? What lessons can we glean from the text? First, everyone in this passage recognized Jesus as God. Gabriel tells Mary that Jesus “will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High” (Luke 1:32). In other words, Jesus was God. John MacArthur explains this by saying, “to identify Jesus as the Son of the Most High is to declare that He has the same essence as the Most High God.” He also states, “Gabriel’s announcement also affirms the deity of Christ.” According to Luke’s narrative, Mary asks no questions regarding this and simply takes the angel at his word. Elizabeth and an unborn John the Baptist also recognize Jesus as God. In verse 43, Elizabeth calls Mary, “the mother of my Lord,” meaning she realized the baby Mary was carrying was the Son of God. Elizabeth’s explanation of John the Baptist’s leap in verse 44 shows that he also recognized Jesus in Mary’s womb. How would they both know this? Verse 41 tells us that “Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit.” Thus, her understanding “must be attributed to the illuminating work of the Spirit,” according to John MacArthur.1 Likewise, the response of John the Baptist was “supernaturally prompted by the Spirit of God.”2

The story of Mary also teaches us about trusting and submitting to God. Her reply, “Behold, I am the servantof the Lord; let it be to me according to your word,” shows complete submission to the will of God. John MacArthur uses “willingly” and “gracefully” to describe her submission. R. C. Sproul refers to it as “subjection,”3 which Merriam-Webster defines as, “one that is placed under authority or control.” In other words, Mary not only recognized God’s authority over her, but she also trusted it. She didn’t ask for a sign as Zechariah did (Luke 1:18), or doubt as many of us may struggle with from time to time. She understood Who God is and trusted Him because of it.  

In conclusion, as we read and ponder Luke 1 this Christmas, that reading shouldn’t inspire us to pull verses out of context and argue our position. Rather, the accounts of Mary and Elizabeth should inspire us to glorify God for Who He is and what He has done. As we celebrate and enjoy the Christmas season, perhaps we would all do well to remember these words of R.C. Sproul, “We come at Christmastime, not to celebrate the birth of a baby. We come to celebrate the Incarnation of God.”  

1-2 MacArthur, John. “Luke.” In the John MacArthur Bible Commentary, 1274. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson. 

3 Sproul, R.C. “The Annunciation.” In Luke: An Expositional Commentary, 22. Sanford, FL: Ligonier Ministries. ePub. 

Charlotte Staudt happily calls the South her home. On any given day, you’ll most likely find her reading and researching, with her calico cat and a cup of tea close at hand. She doesn’t have any social media to share, but she hopes you find her writing encouraging and helpful. 

Guest Posts

Guest Post: Ministering to the Sick: More than a Checklist

Michelle Lesley

If your theology pretty much matches up with mine (as outlined in my “Welcome” and “Statement of Faith” tabs in the blue menu bar at the top of this page) and you’d like to contribute a guest post, drop me an e-mail, and let’s chat about it.

Note from Michelle: (Update: 2024) At the time Melissa wrote this article for my blog, her theology was doctrinally sound. Unfortunately, since that time, she has has adopted some unbiblical beliefs which I cannot endorse. However, because this article is practical advice, rather than biblical/theological in nature, I have chosen to leave it up on the blog. I hope it will help you as you minister to family, friends, and church members.

Ministering to the Sick: More than a Checklist
by: Melissa Morris

Someone gets sick. Someone has surgery. Someone is going through cancer treatments. Until ten years ago when I had my own life threatening/life changing illness, I was guilty (unintentionally) of treating these opportunities as a checklist to be done and not really considering the person. Make a meal, give them a call, drop them off at the doctor – I mean, what’s wrong with that? People should be thankful that we care enough to be involved, right?

As the body of Christ, we have a huge responsibility to help out when illnesses occur. In the midst of all of the chaos, there is a person who has had his or her world turned upside down by a diagnosis or a surgery. People are individuals and so are diagnoses and treatment plans. There’s not only the physical side of sickness, there are also the emotional, mental and spiritual aspects to consider. It shouldn’t be a “fill in the blank” approach, it should be based on the individual.

Instead of treating our ministry as “one size fits all”, what are some things we need to consider to effectively and practically minister to someone experiencing an illness?

Cancer treatments and doctor’s appointments

It’s more than giving someone a ride.

When my mom found out she had cancer, we needed help getting her to and from the cancer center. We live 45 minutes from the hospital where she would be receiving  her treatments. She had radiation treatments five days a week for six weeks. 

We had several people volunteer to take her, and it soon became evident that not everyone fully comprehends that it’s more than a ride.

When providing cancer patients with a ride to treatments, it’s important to understand several things. They are weak, before and after the treatments. Whatever the extent of the disease they are fighting, it is wreaking havoc on their bodies. They may be experiencing pain, nausea, vomiting, bathroom issues, and more. Therefore, they may need physical assistance walking, going to the bathroom, carrying their things and staying hydrated. When you offer to give someone a ride to treatments and you are the only one with them, they are expecting some things from you. Please understand that it’s more than dropping them off at the door of the hospital, coming back to pick them up, and dropping them off at the door when you get them home, especially if you are leaving them alone.

What can you do?

  • Remember that it’s not about you. You may be tempted to take the opportunity, especially if you are making a long trip, to do some shopping or errands while you wait. While this is not entirely wrong, there are some things you need to consider.
  • Walk with them to the office where they are receiving their treatments. Make sure they don’t need a wheelchair or some sort of assistive device to get them there. 
  • Check with them and see if they would be more comfortable if you waited for them in the waiting room before you go off to run errands. Sometimes it makes a patient feel better if they know someone is close by. The staff there might also need you to be available if there is an emergency or the patient needs something.
  • If you do leave the patient, make sure you arrive back in a timely manner so that they don’t have to wait for you when they are done. 
  • When you arrive back at their home, make sure they get inside safely and have everything they need before you leave them. Help them get comfortable, get something to eat or drink, go to the bathroom, etc. It might be awhile before someone gets home to be with them.
  • Don’t plan anything else that day – there will be times when the person receiving the treatments might need extra care. For example, there were times when my mom went for radiation and she was dehydrated. This required her to go to the medication oncology lab and receive fluids before they would send her home. This could take a couple of hours.

Taking Food/Other Items

I live in the South, and I’m a Baptist. We treat any and every illness with food. There’s a special joy in preparing someone a dish and delivering it to them. There’s also the comfort you feel in receiving a meal from someone and you know that they prepared it with love. You sure don’t feel like cooking when you’re going through an illness. 

It seems like an easy thing to do, but when I experienced surgery and a colostomy, my diet completely changed. We received so many wonderful, heartfelt meals, but to my dismay, there were many things that I wasn’t allowed to eat anymore. Some people come home with a new diagnosis of diabetes. Some have food allergies. Cancer patients might be experiencing nausea and vomiting/diarrhea. So, what can we do to make our meal ministry more effective?

  • I know we like the element of surprise, but to make it easier on everyone, it would be best to call and ask if the person has any dietary restrictions. It doesn’t do much good to take someone a meal they can’t eat, no matter how good it might taste.
  • If they can’t have certain things, consider taking prepackaged food items that they can easily put together themselves, but still ask for preferences and restrictions. Some examples:

    Crackers

    Canned meat/soups/fruits/vegetables (I know that fresh fruits and vegetables are ideal, however, when someone is recovering from an illness, they may not feel like eating a lot at one time. The fresh food might spoil before they can eat it.  Prepackaged and canned allows for the person to use the food when it benefits them).

    Sandwich meats and bread

    If you live in an area that provides meal delivery from restaurants, offer to pay for their orders for a specified amount of time.

    Offer to grocery shop for them and help put items away when you deliver the groceries.

    Offer to prepare and refrigerate simple items that can be microwaved or warmed up easily.

There are other items that might be needed that we might not think about. 

  • Cleaning supplies.
  • Toilet paper, napkins, paper towels.
  • Hygiene items (deodorant, soap, feminine products, etc.)
  • Medications (over the counter and prescription)

They also might need you to run errands for them, to the post office or to pick up prescriptions. Whatever the need may be, communicate with the person so that your efforts can be beneficial to them.

Visits

I love to talk. In fact, after I had major surgery, the nurses told my mom that I would sleep all night from the anesthesia. I woke up at midnight and talked all night long!

But as much as I love to talk, when I was recovering, I wanted to rest. I had been in the hospital for ten days, not knowing if I was going to make it back home or not. I was discharged home with IV antibiotics around the clock for seven more days. I had nurses coming in daily for wound care and colostomy training. I didn’t get much sleep in the hospital, and, for a while, I wasn’t getting much sleep at home.

Before visiting, call the person and see what a good time might be to show up. As I was talking with Michelle about this article, we discussed that the old theory is to “just show up”. I had people show up to see me that I would have enjoyed visiting with, but I was either sleeping or having a visit from the nurse. If the person recovering has a caregiver, that caregiver might be taking an opportunity to rest while the patient is resting. 

What do I say? (or NOT say)

Some people said some crazy things to me and to my mom while we were dealing with recovery/cancer treatments.

  • My mom had a pastor who she thought a lot of visit her the day after she found out her initial diagnosis but before we found out the extent of the disease process. He seemed in a bad mood when he got there, preoccupied and distracted. My mom shared with him that she wasn’t afraid, that she had lived 67 years (at the time) and if the diagnosis was not good, she’d had a wonderful life and she was ready to meet Jesus. He looked up at her and rudely said, “Well, you might only have 67 more days, have you ever thought about that?”
  • A friend of my mom’s from church came to see her and pray with her. As they talked, this “friend” said, “Well, Pat, you know you have this cancer because you have sin in your life.”.
  • I woke up extremely depressed one day, so I actually reached out to someone I thought was a close friend via text and said I needed someone to talk to. Five days later, I got a text back that said, “Hope you found someone to talk to.”.

Don’t be that person – if you’re in a bad mood, visit another day, and as I was taught, if you can’t say something nice (or encouraging), don’t say anything at all. When I worked in healthcare, we were taught to leave our personal lives outside the door when we came to work, because they would be there for us to pick up when we went home. 

What else?

I never realized until I became disabled how many things there are around the house that need to be done.

  • Cleaning
  • Laundry
  • Yard work/mowing
  • Errands
  • Taking care of the kids

There might be adaptations that need to be made to the home, or adaptive equipment put in place (grab bars, a handicap toilet, etc.)

The person might need help with bathing and dressing for a while, and this might not be something insurance covers. I needed daily wound care and my insurance only covered three days a week. I was blessed to have nurses in my life that covered the other four days. If you are a nurse or a C.N.A., you could offer your time and services. Even if you’re not, you can be trained in some instances to help with certain medical issues.

One of the biggest issues many deal with is the financial strain not working can put on a person. If the illness ends up being a permanent disability, it can take years (it took 3½ for me) to receive benefits through Social Security. I would hate to think where I would have been had the Lord not given me a wonderful mother and a few anonymous donors to make it through. Even with those things, I had to sell my car, and some of my instruments and sound equipment just to get medication and colostomy supplies. People may also need help filling out applications for assistance, disability, or in-home services. 

Some of the things from our previous lists can carry over if the illness becomes a permanent disability.

Whatever the situation, keep this one thing in mind: be available. If you can’t meet the need of the person, help seek out someone who can.

It is my prayer that this will assist you in more effectively serving those in your community.  And remember, somebody can’t do everything, but everybody can do something.

Melissa is a retired long term care/hospice social worker/bereavement counselor. Compelled to give up her career due to illness, she now spends her time raising her two cousins, singing and writing songs, and traveling to different churches and organizations sharing music and laughter.

Guest Posts

Guest Post: A Woman in Seminary Training: A Personal Story

Michelle Lesley

If your theology pretty much matches up with mine (as outlined in my “Welcome” and “Statement of Faith” tabs in the blue menu bar at the top of this page) and you’d like to contribute a guest post, drop me an e-mail, and let’s chat about it.

Note from Michelle: I’m hoping Kim’s super guest post will inspire some of you ladies to consider seminary. For my thoughts on women attending or teaching at a seminary, click here and here.

A Woman in Seminary Training: A Personal Story
by: Kim Arnold

Why should women attend seminary? I hear this question posed often, and as a current seminarian myself, I have many responses. The purpose of this post is to share my own experience while encouraging other women in possibly attending seminary themselves. If you are a woman who is in a position of leadership over women or children, then I encourage you to seek wise, biblical training, whether that is through seminary or other in-depth theological instruction.

I have been in a seminary PhD program for over two years now, and here are three reasons why I think women should pursue seminary degrees.

1. You get to sit under orthodox theological teaching at the highest level. For my entire first semester, I felt like I was drinking water from a fire hose! After my first week of classes my husband handed me his pocket dictionary of theological terms because I had been scrambling to understand the words my professors were using. I constantly referenced that little book in every class until I became familiar with “seminary terminology.” I felt like I barely kept my head above water that entire first semester, but you know what? By the grace of God, I survived. And not only did I survive, but God started shaping my heart and mind toward him in ways that possibly would not have occurred outside the depth of the seminary classroom.

Here is an example of how a typical class has gone for me: my professor opens with the reading of a Psalm, and then he prays for our class and the discussion on which we are about to embark. After he prays, we spend time discussing the texts we read over the week, solidifying our own beliefs as he wisely leads the discussion. My particular program has classes that meet for 2.5 hours, once a week, so we have time to delve deep into specific topics. As we then go through the next six days between classes, we meditate on God’s Word and constantly examine where our texts draw specifically from Scripture. We write research papers for every seminar, so we spend time studying the Bible deeply, as well as commentaries and other historical research documents.  

This combination of Scripture, prayer, meditation, and research at such a deep level allows for our entire being (mind, will, and affections) to be molded to Christ, from which we then teach others.

2. You make like-minded friends. Even though my program includes attending classes online (we were using Zoom before it was cool), I have made some dear friends from all over the country. I told my husband during my first semester, “I found my people!” God has allowed me to meet other men and women that serve him daily, and lead from a similar theological position as me. Knowing that these people exist outside of my own bubble helps me know that I am not alone, and we all cheer each other on as we apply in our daily lives what we learn in the classroom.

On this note, do not underestimate the influence of professors and fellow seminarians on your spiritual journey. Be diligent in seeking wise, biblical counsel in where you should attend seminary. Research your primary professors and know their biblical stances on specific topics related to your degree. You want to be faithful in your preparation to attend seminary so you can be taught accurate theology. This cannot be emphasized enough. Throughout the course of your study, your professors will (hopefully) lead you in wise, biblical education, and the friends you make along the way will also help shape your thinking on important biblical issues. As the author of the book of Proverbs mentions the importance of acquiring knowledge and understanding, and how it begins with the fear of the Lord (1:29, 2:5, 3:7, 8:13, 9:10, 19:23), so the seminarian responds appropriately with seeking discernment (1:5, 3:21, 14:6, 17:24, 18:15), heeding wisdom (2:1, 4:13), seeking understanding (2:3, 4:5, 8:14, 19:8, 23:12, 28:5), and guarding his heart (4:23, 21:2). 

3. You prepare to the best of your ability, so that you can lead other women in the disciple-making process. I cannot begin to tell you how my mind, will, and affections have changed since I’ve been a seminarian. I have been challenged and encouraged in my faith every step of the way. My professors have made me define my exact beliefs on specific issues, which has helped me teach other women with confidence, and even helped me defend my position when it has come against opposition. If you are going to teach the Bible to women and children, you must be trained for the task set before you. Just like the Levites had to train to serve the Lord in worship, so women need to train for teaching God’s Word to other women and children. Training does not necessarily need to come from attending seminary! Michelle offers many valuable resources in knowing how to discern a true Bible teacher, from whom we can grow in our theology. From my experience, seminary has also provided me with a deep theological foundation so I can know specific truths while I continue to work out my own faith every day.

One last note on my personal story. When I started my seminary program, I was teaching at a local Christian liberal arts university. In May of 2020, the university decided to close their School of Music, leaving me halfway through a degree and no longer employed. I have asked myself many times why I am continuing to pay for a degree, especially when I no longer have a full-time job in the field. Here is my answer to that question: I want to be fully equipped to teach in any capacity (church, higher ed, etc.) when the opportunity arises. I think theologically trained women are in need in all areas right now, especially in teaching our younger generations. I obviously have no idea where God will lead my family in the future, but I can help lead and educate others with confidence wherever I am because I have sat under biblically sound professors at seminary.

The seminary journey may seem daunting to many women, exciting to others, and possibly unimportant to some. I encourage you to examine the areas in which you serve and see if seminary training would be helpful for you. As I have emphasized, women and children in our churches are in desperate need of theologically trained leaders. Many seminaries offer everything from certificate programs to doctorates, with many online options available today. Take some time to see what could be helpful in your own disciple-making process!

If you have any questions from this post, don’t hesitate to reach out to me or any other female seminarian with similar views. We would love to help you through the process!

Kim has been married to her husband, Jason, for 21 years, and they have one son. Jason is an executive pastor and holds two seminary degrees himself, so Kim has experienced life as a seminarian, and as the wife of one. She is currently pursuing her PhD in Church Music and Worship from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and enjoys teaching women in her church. When not reading or writing, Kim enjoys hiking with her husband and son, or playing with her family’s new labradoodle puppy! Check out Kim’s blog, and follow her on social media at Acceptable Worship.