Christmas, Top 10

Top 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time

Originally published December 12, 2014christmas 10

For me, part of the reason Christmas is the “most wonderful time of the year” is the music. There are the old favorites as well as some great new songs that have come out over the years. Unfortunately, there are some stinkers out there, too. Everybody has her own taste, so the songs that give you the Christmas crazies are probably different from the ones that get on my nerves, but, here, in no particular order, are my ten picks for the worst Christmas songs of all time.

1. The Christmas Shoes– Hi, we’re going to write a song that’s a blatant attempt at emotional manipulation, and then if you say you don’t like it, people will think you’re heartless. Merry Christmas.

2. Last Christmas– Really? We have to listen to co-dependent whining about a break up in a Christmas song? And from Wham?

3. Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer– This has such a catchy tune. It’s too bad the family in this song belongs on Jerry Springer.

4. Same Old Lang Syne– This is my pick for the absolute worst “Christmas” song (it really has nothing to do with Christmas) of all time. The only good thing I can say about this is, at least the people in the song didn’t actually have an affair. It’s bleak, it’s immoral, it’s depressing, and it’s the same four bars of melody over. and. over. and. over.

5. Must Have Been Old Santa Claus– “Happy ho, ho, ho to you.” Four million times. Kill me. Kill me now.

6. Baby, It’s Cold Outside– Because nothing says “Merry Christmas” like attempted date rape by a drink drugging letch.1

7. Santa Baby– They could have named this song “Sugar Daddy” or “Implied Sexual Favors in Exchange for Obscenely Expensive Gifts.” Same thing.

8. Mistletoe– I’m just going to make a rule right here, right now: no Christmas songs that force middle-aged people to go to Urban Dictionary to understand the lyrics. My kids had to explain to me what “shawty” means. Apparently, it’s similar to a “bae.”

9. Do They Know It’s Christmas?– Stop having Christmasy fun RIGHT NOW. Just STOP IT. Don’t you know there are people starving in Africa, you soulless oaf? And, seriously, who puts the word “doom” in a Christmas song?

10. Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s Christmas Canon– It pains me to list this one because I love TSO, I love children’s choirs, I love Pachelbel’s Canon in D, and I love the idea of trying to Christmas it up. But I would rather eat a ten year old fruitcake than listen to this.

 Agree? Disagree?
What do you think is the worst Christmas song of all time?

If you love to hate these 10, be sure to stop back by the blog on Friday for volume 2 of Top 10 Worst Christmas songs of all time!


1(2020 Update: You may have noticed at the beginning of this article that I originally wrote it in 2014, long before the #MeToo movement, and long before the explanation of what the composer of Baby, It’s Cold Outside purportedly meant by it was in general circulation. My brief evaluation of the song in #6 is based solely on the impression I was left with by the lyrics, much the same way people have taken umbrage with Reckless Love based on the lyrics alone, despite Corey Asbury’s explanation of what he supposedly meant when he wrote it. I am not a liberal, a feminist, or on the #MeToo bandwagon. I’m confident my track record bears this out, and I’m appalled by accusations to the contrary based solely on my one sentence reaction to this song.)

7 thoughts on “Top 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time”

  1. Let’s focus our minds on Christ and not post links to distracting, time wasting, and ungodly music. Let’s offer beautiful alternatives that point to the birth of Christ!
    “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
    ~ Philippians 4:8 ❤️

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    1. Perhaps you missed yesterday’s article, The Gospel According to Carols. Also, “The Top 10 Best Christmas Songs of All Time” volumes 1 & 2 are coming next week, not to mention all the other articles I’ve already posted and that I will be posting in the coming days that you would probably consider “Christ-focused”.

      Let’s remember that God created laughter, it is a good gift from him, and it’s OK if we partake in a little levity from time to time.

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    2. LCarson, your post is preachy, whether you meant it to be or not. Michelle didn’t write that anyone had to waste their time watching the videos. She does have a great sense of humor and these things are out there whether we agree with the tone of them or not. We cannot insulate ourselves from the world, as we know we are to be “in it and not of it.”

      I love Philippians 4:8, too. But we do the best we can in a Fallen world, and in many areas, need to be aware of things that are going on.

      And in respect to what you may be referring to as “ungodly music,” remember that God, in His sovereignty, gives talent even to those who are not His, for His glory. Common Grace. SDG

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  2. Ok, I completely agree with this list! EXCEPT, number 1…The Christmas Shoes…is one of my favorites:) I can’t help it! That little boy, dying mama, shoes…C’mon! I had never seen the video before . Thanks for making it even better for me!
    Santa Baby is one of my all time worst songs ever! Seducing Santa….really?

    Thanks for giving us some levity in this crazy, mixed up world we’re living in right now. Thank goodness God has us all in the palm of His Almighty hand!

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  3. I absolutely love all your blogs and this one doesn’t disappoint! Your commentary is on point and hysterical, as per usual.
    My peeve that gets pet this time of year are the beautiful Christ centered hymns that get slapped onto heathen events, adds, tv shows ect.
    Thank you sister, thanks be to our Lord for your blogs and godly perspectives w a side of sarcasm!😉

    Like

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