Christmas, Top 10

Top 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time

Originally published December 12, 2014christmas 10

For me, part of the reason Christmas is the “most wonderful time of the year” is the music. There are the old favorites as well as some great new songs that have come out over the years. Unfortunately, there are some stinkers out there, too. Everybody has her own taste, so the songs that give you the Christmas crazies are probably different from the ones that get on my nerves, but, here, in no particular order, are my ten picks for the worst Christmas songs of all time.

1. The Christmas Shoes– Hi, we’re going to write a song that’s a blatant attempt at emotional manipulation, and then if you say you don’t like it, people will think you’re heartless. Merry Christmas.

 

2. Last Christmas– Really? We have to listen to co-dependent whining about a break up in a Christmas song? And from Wham?

 

3. Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer– This has such a catchy tune. It’s too bad the family in this song belongs on Jerry Springer.

 

4. Same Old Lang Syne– This is my pick for the absolute worst “Christmas” song (it really has nothing to do with Christmas) of all time. The only good thing I can say about this is, at least the people in the song didn’t actually have an affair. It’s bleak, it’s immoral, it’s depressing, and it’s the same four bars of melody over. and. over. and. over.

 

5. Must Have Been Old Santa Claus– “Happy ho, ho, ho to you.” Four million times. Kill me. Kill me now.

 

6. Baby, It’s Cold Outside– Because nothing says “Merry Christmas” like attempted date rape by a drink drugging letch.

 

7. Santa Baby– They could have named this song “Sugar Daddy” or “Implied Sexual Favors in Exchange for Obscenely Expensive Gifts.” Same thing.

 

8. Mistletoe– I’m just going to make a rule right here, right now: no Christmas songs that force middle-aged people to go to Urban Dictionary to understand the lyrics. My kids had to explain to me what “shawty” means. Apparently, it’s similar to a “bae.”

 

9. Do They Know It’s Christmas?– Stop having Christmasy fun RIGHT NOW. Just STOP IT. Don’t you know there are people starving in Africa, you soulless oaf? And, seriously, who puts the word “doom” in a Christmas song?

 

10. Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s Christmas Canon– It pains me to list this one because I love TSO, I love children’s choirs, I love Pachelbel’s Canon in D, and I love the idea of trying to Christmas it up. But I would rather eat a ten year old fruitcake than listen to this.

 

 Agree? Disagree?
What do you think is the worst Christmas song of all time?

If you love to hate these 10, be sure to stop back by the blog on Friday for volume 2 of Top 10 Worst Christmas songs of all time!

13 thoughts on “Top 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time”

  1. Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer
    Even as a child I thought it was pretty hypocritical (not that I knew to use that word to describe it… :D) of them to only like him after Santa gave his stamp of approval.

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  2. My least favorite is Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. However, what is more difficult for me to listen to is commercials miss-using Handel’s Messiah Hallelujah.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. While this list is good, I might be in the minority when I suggest “Mary Did You Know?”. To me, this is a very romanticized song that seems to emphasize Mary over The Christ Child. Perhaps it is the breathy renditions plus repetitions of the title phrase alerted me to problems with this extremely popular song.

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    1. I might add that one to a future list, mainly because I’m annoyed at it’s ubiquity. It’s been in every church Christmas presentation everywhere for the last 25 years or so. I wish someone would write a new song to replace it. :0)

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    2. lol!! Ok, I have to chime in to defend this one! 🙂
      I first heard this song maybe five years ago, and it made me cry. What Jesus did for us by choosing to become a human baby…. I was put in the place of the mother of a helpless infant, now looking back at what God had done. It helped me better comprehend exactly what had been accomplished so long ago.
      It still blesses me, but I don’t hear it often, so I know that makes a big difference. 🙂

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  4. I loved this post! I laughed out loud because I’ve thought the same thing about most of your top 10! Looking forward to part 2!! LOL!!!

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  5. It is fun to see your comments, Michelle. You are too cute. My husband and I have been married for 24 years and both of us lost all of our parents when they were in their 50’s and 60’s. We live in California now but grew up in the midwest. We’ve realized in the past couple of years there are two things going on this time of year. The celebration of the birth of our Lord mixed in with family traditions and as such, memories of those we cherished having passed. Ultimately, just as with Resurrection Sunday, we celebrate God becoming man everyday. During the holiday season, we celebrate tradition/memories up until Christmas Eve and make sure all gifts we give each other and our children are opened by then. Christmas Day, on the other hand, is reserved especially for our Lord. I’ve seen some of the songs on the list as more memory of past celebrations of tradition with our beloved parents so some are filled with memory rather than lyrics regardless of how frivolous. During our earlier days, we didn’t have the choices of music and so they just played on the radio enroute to family celebrations. Nostalgia of scents and tastes are bitter sweet and I have to say, I’m smiling right now just remembering them. After we pass, I pray our children can still smile in remembrance while giving thanks to the One who makes every smile meaningful. Songs have a way of bringing that out. We stress at every opportunity that Christmas and Resurrection Sunday are reliant upon each other as Christmas would be meaningless without our Risen Lord and our Risen Lord needed to be born in human flesh to make salvation possible. That’s an everyday celebration. Thanks for sharing this – you always provide thought provoking blogs. Merry Christmas.

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