Christmas, Top 10

Top 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time

Originally published December 12, 2014christmas 10

For me, part of the reason Christmas is the “most wonderful time of the year” is the music. There are the old favorites as well as some great new songs that have come out over the years. Unfortunately, there are some stinkers out there, too. Everybody has her own taste, so the songs that give you the Christmas crazies are probably different from the ones that get on my nerves, but, here, in no particular order, are my ten picks for the worst Christmas songs of all time.

1. The Christmas Shoes– Hi, we’re going to write a song that’s a blatant attempt at emotional manipulation, and then if you say you don’t like it, people will think you’re heartless. Merry Christmas.


2. Last Christmas– Really? We have to listen to co-dependent whining about a break up in a Christmas song? And from Wham?


3. Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer– This has such a catchy tune. It’s too bad the family in this song belongs on Jerry Springer.


4. Same Old Lang Syne– This is my pick for the absolute worst “Christmas” song (it really has nothing to do with Christmas) of all time. The only good thing I can say about this is, at least the people in the song didn’t actually have an affair. It’s bleak, it’s immoral, it’s depressing, and it’s the same four bars of melody over. and. over. and. over.


5. Must Have Been Old Santa Claus– “Happy ho, ho, ho to you.” Four million times. Kill me. Kill me now.


6. Baby, It’s Cold Outside– Because nothing says “Merry Christmas” like attempted date rape by a drink drugging lech.


7. Santa Baby– They could have named this song “Sugar Daddy” or “Implied Sexual Favors in Exchange for Obscenely Expensive Gifts.” Same thing.


8. Mistletoe– I’m just going to make a rule right here, right now: no Christmas songs that force middle-aged people to go to Urban Dictionary to understand the lyrics. My kids had to explain to me what “shawty” means. Apparently, it’s similar to a “bae.”


9. Do They Know It’s Christmas?– Stop having Christmasy fun RIGHT NOW. Just STOP IT. Don’t you know there are people starving in Africa, you soulless oaf? And, seriously, who puts the word “doom” in a Christmas song?


10. Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s Christmas Canon– It pains me to list this one because I love TSO, I love children’s choirs, I love Pachelbel’s Canon in D, and I love the idea of trying to Christmas it up. But I would rather eat a ten year old fruitcake than listen to this.


 Agree? Disagree?
What do you think is the worst Christmas song of all time?

5 thoughts on “Top 10 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time”

  1. Feliz Navidad. Four years with my husband in the army in El Paso this song drove us nuts. It’s like nails on a chalkboard for us. It was played relentlessly – everywhere! Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad Prospero año y Felicidad. Repeated over and over followed by “I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas, I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas, I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas, From the bottom of my heart.” The Spanish translates to: Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Prosperous New Year and happiness.” So we can conclude that the writer and singer would like to wish you a Merry Christmas and a happy, prosperous New Year from the bottom of his heart. Our hope when we left El Paso was that we might go a Christmas without hearing the song at all. While the amount greatly decreased, we have yet to achieve our goal. When we hear it start “Oh please, just give me two and a half minutes of nails on chalkboard instead!” tumbles from my lips. When it’s over, my husband says, “It’s officially Christmas now!” Yeah, right.


  2. I like Dan Fogelberg’s music, and I guess haven’t ever thought of that song as being “immoral.” Maybe it’s because that’s music from my generation. At some point, there is a reliance on Common Grace to be able to enjoy the God given talent of some artists and musicians, even if they are not believers or the music isn’t “Christianized,” in an ABeka curriculum sort of way! I like that the song tells a story that we can picture. Some listeners may have even lived a similar scenario. All of the other songs you listed aren’t appealing to me, either.


  3. I have to say amen and amen to “The Christmas Shoes” – that is one of the worst songs ever written, IMO. It makes me want to pull my hair out. My husband loves it, but also loves my hair. So he doesn’t play it around me – lol!


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